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It's May, and that means we're heading back to a galaxy far, far away and talking Star Wars all month! To kick off this year's festivities, we took a look at the first episodes of three different animated series (Clone Wars 2003, Clone Wars 2008, and Rebels), and asked ourselves some important questions, such as: Which show would be most enjoyable to source? Which one works best as a screensaver? And which one scores highest on the Dook metric? Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join the Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found on YouTube and Twitch!

Over on Patreon we broke out the dice and capped off zombie season by creating our own zombie apocalypse, as chosen by the whims of our D8! Join us as we wake up five years post-outbreak on a party boat off the coast of Myrtle Beach and attempt to escape the hordes of Thriller zombies on our way to Antarctica with a party of jocks and cheerleaders, a soundtrack packed with Yakety Sax, and one very special "trained" bear.Want to hear the full episode? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

After two months of zombie media, we're finally here with our discussion of the game that prompted this whole journey: Resident Evil Requiem! How do two longtime fans of the Resident Evil series feel about its latest installment? Did we laugh hysterically at all the Leon quips? Did we pee our pants during our first encounter with The Girl? And GAHHH THERE SO MANY BLISTER HEADS OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T WE CRAFT MORE HEMOLYTIC INJECTORSWant to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join the Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found on YouTube and Twitch!

Resident Evil Requiem is out! But hey- what if, instead of talking about it, we discussed a Resident Evil movie from five years ago? Welcome to a little place called Raccoon City, where the characters are all wrong, the effects often look like generative AI, and there's more itchy tasty than you're gonna know what to do with. Along the way we pitch a literal viral marketing strategy, share some trivia and reviews, and wonder why this movie hasn't taken up its proper home on Tubi yet.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join the Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found on YouTube and Twitch!

Resident Evil Requiem is about to drop, and we're getting hyped in some... questionable ways. And this week's way is S.D. Perry's 1998 novel Resident Evil: Caliban Cove! Join us as we reunite with fan-favorite characters Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield and Barry Burton, and then ditch them all almost immediately in favor of Karen, Steve, and... (audible sigh) John. But hey, Rebecca Chambers is still here! And so are some zombies with guns, because that's something they do now.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join the Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found on YouTube and Twitch!

Resident Evil 9 is on the way, and we're getting in the spirit of the zombie season by checking out a completely different franchise! Join us as we delve back into the Boll pit and continue our exploration of video game movies' most pugnacious director, this time with his 2003 adaptation of The House of the Dead! It's a movie so bad, even its own director seems to consider it an effective form of torture- but we've survived the adventures of Dr. Grimonudy and his quest to fire every bullet from Captain Kirk's Chest of Holding into an awaiting zombie's face, and are here to share our thoughts. Along the way we talk the three B's of horror (or was it five?), discuss the power of socialist zombie cinema, and even manage to fit in some rapping (we're sorry).Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Over on Patreon we're kicking of our first episode of Resourced, wherein we revisit an IP we covered on a previous episode! And while patrons get to enjoy a lengthy discussion about the the CW Constantine series and its acting, effects, writing, themes, and comparison to the comics, here on the main feed you're stuck hearing about Skiffle and Jizz.Want to hear the full episode? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Happy New Year! We're ringing in 2026 with a recap of things we sourced in 2025- the good, the bad, and the Grande. So join us as we take a pop-punk trip down memory lane, make a whimsical turn out into the infinite cosmos, search and action around a little bit, expend our last remaining energy bowing before the greatness of a certain fantasy author, and somehow, manage to forget the second item on a list of three (well, one of us anyway).Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Happy Thanksgiving! In the spirit of the holiday, we're thanking you all for another year of support and dropping our latest Patreon bonus episode here on the main feed in full. If you enjoy our adventures with stake guns, suck jobs, and a surfboard full of guns, consider hopping over to our Patreon to get a full additional episode like this every month! But for now, have a hot loose coke from the back of Jon Bon's jeep on us, and please remember to take your anti-vampire pills.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Welcome to the third annual NoVampber! As usual, we're hanging out with vampires all month long, and kicking things off is our revisiting of a pretty notoriously bad vampire experience: 2004's Van Helsing! Join us as we discuss the journey of sunburnt Wolverine and his CG loincloth on their quest to accomplish... almost nothing, aside from severing Flesh Shrek's arm and creating openings for the tale's real hero: Carl. We also share a nice batch of trivia, read some real goofball reviews, and for a film that does not star Emilio Estevez, spend a surprisingly long time talking about Emilio Estevez.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Halloween is next week, and we're getting prepared by continuing our exploration of witch media with 2013's Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters! As you might expect, we spend some time gushing about Gemma Arterton, even more time gushing about Peter Stormare, and even manage to fit in a revisit of the Jeremy Renner app, a contentious debate about Beauty and the Beast's Gaston, and a brief history of profanity.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

For October this year, we're celebrating the spooky season by saddling up some brooms, brewing a pot of potion, and spending the month exploring a Halloween mainstay: witches! First up is the 2024 musical film Wicked, a movie that may claim to explore villainous origins, authoritarianism, and unlikely friendships, but at its core is just simply: animals. We discuss the film and the musical genre in general, share some trivia and reviews, and remind everyone that if you're looking into showtimes for the upcoming sequel, make sure to use the url wickedMOVIE.com.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Over on Patreon, we're capping off our month on Silent Hill and preparing for spooky season by running through our scariest experiences in video games! Unfortunately, we can't blame anything occurring in this clip on games; these are homegrown original ideas, and we sincerely apologize for infecting you with their contents. That said, as we all head into October please remember to stay safe, and watch out for those tickle monsters. Want to hear the full episode? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Silent September concludes with a discussion of Bloober Team's 2024 remake of the survival horror classic, Silent Hill 2! Is the game good enough to make up for Beau's terrible first impression of the franchise with the movie we covered last episode? And how will it fare when compared with Brandon's massive love of the original game? We answer these questions, ask a few more (What is reality? How much agency does Maria have? And just how bad does James smell?), and give ourselves enough nightmare fuel to last until Silent Hill f, which comes out... *checks watch* ...er, now.Interested in the Silent Hill 2 book Brandon referenced? Pick it up here!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Welcome to Silent September! Brandon is excitedly counting down the days until Silent Hill f comes out later this month, and decided to introduce first-timer Beau to one his favorite horror IPs in... truly the worst way possible. That's right, we're kicking things off with Christophe Gans' misguided feature-length fanboy fumble, the 2006 film Silent Hill! Join us as we watch Radha Mitchell's Rose get her cardio in and do her best to dodge all the smoldering piles of poo left by some eldritch horrors on her jogging route, with occasional pivots over to a very waterlogged Sean Bean on his quest for entirely redundant clues. On the way, we share some fun trivia, some insightful reviews, and some air raid siren impressions that... certainly are... something.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

To cap off our month on Japanese horror, we've got a bonus Patreon episode that follows up last August's revisiting of The Ring with another J-horror American remake: 2004's The Grudge, starring Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a wee lad who swallowed his cat, and a loooot of vocal fry. We read some reviews, we talk some culture, but mostly we just flip out over Jennifer poking her finger through that container of instant ramen.Want to hear the full episode? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

This week we take our study of yōkai out into the field to observe them in one of their natural habitats: a Labyrinth of the Demon King! We're talking all about the 2025 first-person survival horror game, and while we may disagree a little about how much we enjoy all that PSOne-inspired grime, we DO agree on our love of the tantō, our fearlessness in the face of death, and our belief that Oogie Boogie can go suck bath scum.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

For August this year, we're spending the entire month exploring the spooky side of Japan! In this first leg of the journey, we kick things off with an exploration of the sometimes terrifying, sometimes wacky, sometimes cuddly (?) supernatural creatures known as yōkai, complete with eldritch Nicktoons, a She's All That-style makeover with the Slit-Mouthed Woman, and weasels with frickin' knives attached to their paws. From there we trace some connections between all those crazy critters and Japan's king of creepy comics, Junji Ito! So hold on to your head, and- oh, watch your step there. The wooden spirit had her way with that patch of floor you're standing on and we haven't had a chance to hose it down yet.Want to learn more about yōkai and read the book we recommended? Check out yokai.com!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

This week we continue our exploration of non-Indy Jones treasure hunters with The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, a sequel that gives us the opportunity to ponder some of life's great mysteries, including: How does an extra $50 million budget result in a worse-looking movie than its predecessor? Is frat boy behavior in 1946 just as insufferable as its modern equivalent? Are terracotta pots actually mummies? No, we don't actually have any answers to those questions; Beau has been too busy lamenting the desecration of some of his favorite characters while Brandon expounds on the rich anti-fascist allegory packed into the film's subtext, but... sorry, what were we talking about? We seem to have lost ourselves in those warm, blue Yeti eyes.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We may be done with Indiana Jones, but our treasure hunting continues all this month with a crew of imitators led by this week's protagonist, Nathan Drake! Unfortunately for us, this week is truly a worst version of a favorite thing, because we're experiencing his adventures by way of the 2022 Uncharted film. We do our best to withstand such rampant overuse of the bottle-playing scene, and to not be swayed by any of the film's "implicit messages," but if we're successful in those pursuits, it's probably just because we're too busy complaining about trees. Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

This week over on Patreon, we bring Indiana June to a close with one final adventure alongside our favorite archaeologist. And by one, we actually mean two. We each chose an episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles television series at random, so hop on and ride along on our Phantom Train of Doom as we discuss! We're making stops at all our favorite jazz clubs, and Beau even brought a game to keep us occupied during the ride. Oh, but just a heads-up: all passengers must spend a portion of the ride bound and gagged, because apparently that's what gives the journey a little "heat."Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We're back with more Indiana Jones, and we've traded in our White Witch for a Great Circle! This episode we talk MachineGames' 2024 action-adventure game Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, and it just might be the sequel we've always wanted. No, we can't wield Caliburn, and no "forest folk" make an appearance, but the zeppelin DOES make a return, and is better (and more dangerous) than ever? (We forgot our special non-static slippers, so tread lightly). So grab your best disguise and that sledgehammer over there, make sure you haven't left any cogs behind, and... oh, also, can we borrow your lipstick? We're kinda worried we won't be able to explain this episode without it.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Star Wars month may be over, but we're still hanging out with George Lucas as we kick off Indiana Junes! All this month we're exploring alongside our favorite archaeologist and heading to wherever his latest adventure leads us. This week, that adventure is Martin Caidin's 1994 novel Indiana Jones and the White Witch, a riveting tale of magic, aviation, and... northern Florida civil war reenactors (yes, really). So slip on your non-static zeppelin slippers, throw on your boiled scabbard tunic (again, yes, really), and get ready to confront one of the most forgettable villains of all time (we've already forgotten all three of his names).Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Star Wars month concludes with a roundup of some of our most memorable Star Wars gaming experiences! It's light side vs. dark side as we pit some of our favorite games of all time against a few experiences so miserable, they just might turn you into a Scorpion Vader. We've got bad kart racers and worse Game Boy games, but along the way we make time for sweet X-Wing action, Lego Grand Theft Auto and one very cool battle pod. Beau and Brandon also somehow manage to spend over ten minutes raving about Sega's Star Wars Arcade without realizing they are talking about two completely different games.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Welcome back to another episode of Phobiagoria, our recurring miniseries all about revisiting things that scared us as children! This time, Brandon discovers that the childhood trauma he associated with The Ewok Adventure's monstrous Gorax might've actually originated with the dead-eyed Ewoks themselves, and Beau? He's mostly just trying to stay conscious for all 97 minutes of this teddy bear fellowship. In this teaser we talk budget, kush (the Ewok kind), and even some conspiracy theories, but for the full episode you gotta head over to Patreon!Want to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

May the Fourth be with you! (It's now May 8th). All this month we're hanging out in a galaxy far, far away, and kicking off our Star Wars celebration is a discussion of Episode VI- Return of the Jedi! We talk/dismantle negative fan reactions to the original trilogy's final installment while sharing our own negative reactions to much of the nonsense thrown into the remastered edition of the film. So, no, while we DON'T think that Jedi Rocks, we DO believe that Anakin's so vain, he probably thinks this podcast's about him.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Hey, remember that time we did two months of Final Fantasy stuff and planned to conclude with an episode on Rebirth? What young, naive podcasters we were back then... full of big, bold dreams and overambition. Now, on the other side of 100+ hours' worth of fighting, adventuring, laughing, crying, card collecting, Chocobo racing, and tediously throwing crates onto elevators, we're kind of amazed we ever thought we'd hit that deadline to begin with. Join us as we work through our many, MANY feelings around this epic gaming experience and deep dive through all those things and more! (spoilers abound)Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Our Arthur season may be finished here on the main feed, but over on Patreon we're enjoying one final session at the round table as we turn it into a round tabletop! Join us as we leave the fate of Britain to the whims of the dice and roll to recast Arthur, Merlin, and other iconic characters from the legends with some thoroughly deranged replacements pulled from an even more deranged full list. Will King Ralph have his Lady Margot Tenenbaum stolen by Wolverine? Will Rita Repulsa rise from the lake to deliver Sex Machine's crotch gun to live-action Super Mario Bob Hoskins? All we know for sure is, there's no way you could intuit which Ditto we're talking about unless we end this sentence with "the Pokemon".Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

And so, The Once and Future podcast topic is now Once and Past as we close out our two month journey through various adaptations of King Arthur and his very, very handsome and spectacularly facial-haired knights (at least, in this particular iteration). In celebration of the game's recent ten-year anniversary, this week we take a look at The Order: 1886! This experience may be light on gameplay (unless QTEs are your thing), but do the beards, zeppelins, and Tesla tech make up for it? Time to suit up, take a sip of Blackwater, find a good place to take cover (unless it's one of those levels where you... can't, for whatever reason), and find out!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

So we kinda forgot to drop teasers for our past two Patreon episodes, but, better late than never, right? ...right? Anyway, back in March we supplemented our adventures with various King Arthur adaptations by discussing some of our favorite weapons in media, or: our own personal Excaliburs, if you will. And while this teaser may sufficiently explain the decision to make Stanley Stupid our thumbnail (if such things can be sufficiently explained), for the rest of it, ya gotta jump on over to our Patreon!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

So we kinda forgot to drop teasers for our past two Patreon episodes, but, better late than never, right? ...right? Anyway, back in February we played matchmakers and gave one another the lofty challenge of pairing up 3 random characters from some of the IPs we've covered on the show thus far. So grab your leisure suit, hug a vampire, and remember that Dizzy Flores deserves so much better- and also that, while this teaser is two months too late to be relevant, patrons get to enjoy episodes like these during the actual holidays they're based on!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Month #2 of our King Arthur extravaganza finds us revisiting the 1998 TV miniseries Merlin, starring Sam Neill, Helena Bonham Carter, Martin Short, and a whole lot of makeup (3 or 4 out of 5 on the sexy scale, apparently). We're surprised by many things this week: inexplicable dubbing choices, the depth of emotion Frik pulled out of us, and just how bad that dragon looks (seriously, even worse than we remembered). So suit up in your best boiled leather armor (you never know if there are any dagger-chucking children about) and remember that, no matter what that evil little Mab on your shoulder might say, you never, EVER go full Mickey.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

King Arthur season continues with Mage: The Hero Discovered, the cult classic comic that updates the Arthur legend for 1980's America with baseball bats, badass cars, and one very, VERY unpleasant protagonist. We talk aging, art, and the writing process, all while Beau tries out every possible pronunciation of the author's name and Brandon accidentally reveals some of his confused feelings towards the sensual allure of xenomorphs.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We're kicking off March by going waaay back and exploring the origin point of one of the most foundational legends (and also the topic of our show for the next two months): King Arthur! Join us as we do a mini-deep dive on The Once and Future King and discuss some of the background on the related lore, and how the archetypes his story established have manifested in myriad ways throughout literature and other media since their original telling. Along the way we've got a rundown of our favorite knights, plenty of poorly pronounced French, trivia galore, and a holy grail dripping full of ranch dressing.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Our Final Fantasy exploration enters month two with the sequel film 1 out 3 IMDb reviewers hail as a 10/10 masterpiece: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children! It's the epic tale of Kadouche, Doozy and Kazoo and their quest to slap enough green goo on their chests to change their identities and fit their mother's head inside a container that's slightly too small. Alongside our film discussion we also take some time to get philosophical and speculate about the FF7 afterlife, design a line of tarot cards, and discuss the physics of relay tossing an adult man to the top of a skyscraper.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

We're closing out part one of our Final Fantasy exploration, bringing Final Fanuary to a close, and heading on into... FFII? Final February? FFFebruary? (we still haven't decided) To celebrate the completion of Disc 1 here, we've got a bonus episode over on the Patreon, and here's a teaser for the kinds of shenanigans we have on offer over that way! This month we talk our ideal FF party, with characters sourced from across the entire franchise. Who's got the best repertoire of abilities and attacks in their arsenal? Who's got the best narrative waiting to be told? Who's hot? And who's not (alive)?Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Final Fanuary continues! All this month and the next we're exploring one of our favorite franchises, and this week we're doing things a little differently: welcome to our first episode of Source Found, Final Fantasy 101 edition! We're deep diving into the origins of the franchise and tracing the lineage of some of our favorite FF elements, as well as the creators behind them, from their original conception on up to today. Along the way we also make time for our personal history with the games, discuss some of our favorite parts of the series, and give our thoughts on where Final Fantasy might be heading next. So gas up your airship, saddle up that chocobo, and don't forget to equip your materia- because this party is getting historical!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Welcome to Final Fanuary! All this month (and the next, which will undoubtedly bring with it an even worse pun) we're exploring one of our favorite franchises, and are kicking things off with, truly, one of the worst versions of our favorite things: the 2001 film Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within! Join us as we follow the mystical eagle through one very expensive uncanny valley on a quest to find all 60,000 hairs. Along the way, Beau expresses his love of bologna sandwiches, Brandon talks about his love of the D, but neither of us find much to love about the actual film. So buckle up kids, because this one is a rough ride. And remember: dreams don't lie.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Looking to change up your holiday movie choices this year? Has your annual viewing of "A Christmas Prince" started to feel a little stale? Well then, have we got a show for you! This year, we're celebrating the holidays over on Patreon with a rundown of our favorite non-Christmas Christmas movies. Alongside our superheroes, action film stars and wizards, we've also got strategies for exploiting Santa's lame duck period, and a few tips for telling your kids he isn't real at all (just ease them into it by telling them he's dead first). And remember: don't assume that coal-shaped lump in your stocking is coal; there's a strong chance it's just a good, good number two.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

With our final episode of 2024, we're once again closing things out with a roundup of our favorite things we sourced over the course of this past year. Join us as we gush about all the wonderful creators, characters, games, shows, game shows, and musical genres we enjoyed throughout 2024, and will continue to enjoy on through 2025. And from us on out to all of you, we hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

The holiday season is upon us, and we're kicking things off by exploring one of the MANY adaptations of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol: the 1988 film Scrooged, starring Bill Murray! Along the way we discuss the correlation between the sound of farts and tranquilizer darts, wonder about the taste of Tab, and outline the most efficient method for climbing the corporate ladder (mail room > dog suit > director of programming). We've also got a handful of fun stocking stuffers in the way of IMDb reviews, a top Christmas movies game, movie trivia, and a decidedly horrifying interpretation of the film's ending from Beau.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

Over on our Patreon, we're closing out NoVAMPber 2024 with Sports Not Found, a new series that combines Beau's minimal knowledge of sports with Brandon's zero knowledge of sports, and uses it to... staff a vampire baseball team. We may not be experts on the subject, but the team is really, really good looking and... sorry, what were we saying? We kinda got lost in Lestat's eyes. This teaser for our Patreon bonus episode brought to you in memoriam of Michael Madsen's Vladimir, who tragically passed away after a drunken hot dog-related fall at Suck & Pucker stadium.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

NoVAMPber continues with our first foray into the World of Darkness as we discuss Choice of Games' 2020 interactive fiction game Vampire: The Masquerade — Night Road! Will we betray our friend for the sake of rising up the ranks in vampiric society? Will we embrace our inner Anarch and tear it all down? Will we remember how to pronounce Camarilla, and will it even matter if no one can hear us over the sound of the Limp Bizkit CD stuck in our car stereo? There's only one way to find out- but before you click "next," remember to make sure you're not about to accidentally buy another vehicle and spend all your skill points on academics.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!Theme music by Jesse Gelina, a.k.a. Saint Coelacanth, whose work can be found here!

NoVAMPber is here! This year, we're kicking off the month-long celebration of our fanged friends with Dracula 2000: a thrilling tale of Mayo Van Helsing's quest to escape the sexy clutches of Olive Garden's newest spokesperson, Criss Angel. Or something like that. Beau has also issued his official rebuttal to londonguy_uk: Dominic Purcell in Blade Trinity is a worse Dracula than Gerard Butler.The above show notes brought to you by Blue Leech: the all-natural method for staying virile at any age. Ask your doctor if penile leeching is right for you!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Happy Halloween! As a special treat in celebration of our personal favorite holiday, we're joined this week by the amazingly talented and hilarious Adal Rifai to help us work through our thoughts on the recent Beetlejuice sequel. We've got games and trivia galore, but also make time along the way to talk teenage bedrooms, discuss our top picks for funeral music, and remind you of the truly horrific fact that sharks are older than trees. Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

For October this year, we thought we’d get REALLY spooky with it and turn to our Patrons for their very own Phobiagorias! Listen up for clowns in toilets (really), clowns in showers (yep), and the most unsettled you’ll ever hear Beau and Brandon because of an audio loop. Thanks, Patrons, for the continued nightmares! We love it! There's a lot more where this came from, so for more hop on over to our Patreon and see what other tales we have to tell around this podcast campfire!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

The spooky season ghostly shenanigans continue this week with Sweet Home, the 1989 Japan-only Capcom game for the NES that basically kicked off the survival horror genre and established many of the most-beloved elements of the original Resident Evil! We had veeeeerrrry different levels of enjoyment with this one, but between the frustrations and the praise we manage to find some common ground, as well as explore some gaming history, discuss references in Barenaked Ladies lyrics, and establish the new pictctfork (not a typo)/furnace shared universe between Freddy, Jason and Lady Mamiya.Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Spooky season has begun! This year we're sourcing ghosts, and kicking off the exploration is the 2001 film Thirteen Ghosts, a remake of the 1960 film of the (almost) same name. We talk satanic architecture, admire the lawyer-slicing doors, lament the lack of any Trunchbull to accompany Miss Honey, and share some (possibly better left unshared) lore about the ghosts Cyrus locked in his glass mansion. In addition, this podcast was recorded with special Illusion-O technology! Simply put on the provided Ghost Viewer (tm) glasses at any time and be treated to the same exact show, but now in a red or blue hue! Wowza!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

And so, our own journey to the west comes to a conclusion. This week we bid the Monkey King a heartfelt zài jiàn and finish our exploration of the character by way of a deep dive on Game Science's 2024 action role-playing game Black Myth: Wukong! We've trekked through the New West, emerged from the Webbed Hollow, and are now deep in spoiler country- so for those who haven't finished the game, tread lightly and... carry a big cudgel? (-Teddy Roosevelt, we think) For everyone else, come on in, get comfy, and feel free to pour yourself a bourbon from Beau's gourd; he's on his third hour of Yellow Loong and seems to have forgotten all about it. Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!

Turns out Black Myth: Wukong is kinda long, so we're pushing our conversation on the game to next week in order to give ourselves a few more days to finish monkeying around and collect our thoughts. But hey, this is actually good news! Because the Wukong episode is coming in a week late, we've decided to make it up to all you lovely listeners by releasing our latest Patreon-exclusive episode here on the main feed for all to enjoy. And so, we bring you Monkey Madness: a bracket that pits some of our favorite (and, let's be real, least favorite) primates in media against one another in a contest to decide which one best embodies monkey mindset. Cue the shenanigans!Want to support our show? Pay what you can at our PatreonWant to contact us? Email us at [email protected] or join our Discord server!Want more gaming content? Hang out with Brandon on Twitch and check us out on YouTube!Like what you hear? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast-thing!