Stance of Curiosity

Joelle and Gillian wade into the murky waters of creating a plan for inclusion for students that are not responding to our best and most creative efforts.  Belonging, a sense of connection, and authentic engagement in experiences that are growth promoting in ways that are relevant to each person seems to be the goal.  There are some situations where “being with the group” does not get us to that goal.  When we begin to think more broadly about inclusion, what are examples of what that could include?  We consider guiding questions, varied ways to measure success, ethical considerations, and guideposts to ensure that we don’t go so far with our capacity to challenge the norm that we revert back to exclusion.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle sit alongside parents and educators to consider how to support a student who is chronically refusing school.  What happens when the student realizes we cannot force them to go?  What happens when we’ve done everything we can think of and they are still not going?  The common pitfalls of feeling panic, incompetent, and deflecting blame are counterproductive.  CPS is an alternative approach that can help us avoid those responses and remain engaged with the child/teen as they navigate their path out of a stuck place.  Plan B Organizer: https://thinkkids.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Plan-B-Organizer_ThinkKids.pdfCollaborative and Proactive Solutions website:  https://livesinthebalance.org/Find us on Instagram! Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/ Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Is it possible that in our effort to mitigate overwhelm, we sometimes remove growth promoting opportunities and reduce healthy stress tolerance?  Joelle and Gillian talk through their decades-long journey of understanding the experience of neurodivergent youth and the complexity of how to support their capacity to cope with a world built by and for neurotypical people, while offering authentic and worthy learning and skill building experiences.  All of us in supportive roles can play the short game to relieve overwhelm and the long game where we face healthy challenges alongside youth.  All of us can make the wrong call at times and push too hard for the wrong reasons or overaccommodate to provide immediate relief.  As we navigate these decisions, we can polarize each other and go to extremes that further confuse the kids and eachother.  In this discussion, Joelle and Gillian identify some guiding considerations for teams to help us align our approaches.At a certain point in this episode Gillian shares some potential drawbacks of Brene Brown's approach, which is better encapsulated in this article:https://drcareyyazeed.com/the-dangers-of-courage-culture-and-why-brene-brown-isnt-for-black-folk/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Hello, listeners!  So far in season four Joelle and Gillian have experienced some illness and even some getting stuck in the tropics and as such we don't have a new episode for you this week, but we hope you will enjoy the re-release of one of the most popular ones from Season 2 and we will catch you next week.First released in June 2025, Gillian shares her strategy of processing adult interactions that don’t go as expected, including at times conflict and defensiveness.  Stepping back to consider how fear may be inspiring our responses and re-approaching the interactions with some perspective and curiosity can be very helpful.  Joelle and Gillian share some of their key strategies that may help when stress and fear are taking over-Who is afraid of what? Slow down and back upShare the worryGet consultation from a trusted sourceVisualize the situation as a contingency map - what is the goal and is there a different path? https://autismclassroomresources.com/contingency-maps-for-behavior-proble/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Dedicated, creative, and hardworking school teams make all kinds of plans to support students.  Those plans are created in hopes of inspiring regulation, engagement, and the development of new skills.  Confusion can arise when the intention of the plan has not been emphasized.  Joelle and Gillian discuss the many types of plans that school teams may create, the psychology that informs varied approaches, and the common pitfalls that school teams can fall into in this endeavor.  Here is a link to the mindfulness-in-schools ideas Gillian mentioned:Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian explore together the connection between the outward expression of emotion, internal awareness of varied emotional states, and social interactions.  How might the capacity to recognize and express emotions vary among those who are neurodivergent, depressed, anxious, and coping with the impact of trauma exposure?  Are there ways that educational staff and other supportive adults can help when there is either a character trait or state that results in restricted expression of affect?  Some helpful insight and tips were identified, as well as increased curiosity into this internal experience and outward expression. Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle take a walk down memory lane to recall all of the helpful strategies and insights that we learned during the immediate aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic to consider how those approaches may help us now.  Overwhelming, disheartening, and even at times terrifying events are happening in our country and world.  We bear witness to those events while keeping our lives and work moving forward with diligence.  This can all combine into feelings of defeat, anger, frustration, and learned helplessness.  We learned many powerful and accessible ways to face this situation that we can recall and access now.  We recall ideas, such as sharing the worry and finding hope through action, as well as find new ones, such as time confetti. Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

In today's episode, Joelle reflects on re-watching Good Will Hunting, the 1997 movie classic, on a recent flight.  She and Gillian consider the themes highlighted in this film of the real psychological and energetic toll of supporting someone in a resistant stage of change, and how we can apply this to supporting the nervous systems of school professionals and helpers in general.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian explore a concept from the world of psychotherapy and how it could play out between a child, their parent, and a school professional.  When a child expresses their anxiety related to school demands to their parent, their parent may in turn express that distress to the school professional.  We are all seeking reassurance and regulation from each other.  We can trip over each other or we can compassionately respond in a firm and supportive manner.  There is a concept from the world of psychotherapy called “parallel process” that resembles this dynamic.  This concept can help us both respond effectively and shift our own stress response.  This discussion relates to this video from Josh Ship- Like the Lap Bar on a Roller Coaster,  Teens Will Test You to See if You Will HoldFind us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle do a deep dive into justice seeking behavior, which can present as someone treating others the way they were treated or seeking to make others feel like they are feeling.  It turns out there are a lot of reasons why we might be inspired to do so.  Our most helpful response in such situations is empathy, validation, and reassurance that their needs are as important as everyone else’s.  An emphasis on the use of visual processing tools to find an alternate path to express distress, feel calm, and self-protect is highly effective.  Some options include contingency maps, comic strip conversations, SODAS, and behavior chain analysis.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Our lovely and talented guest week, Lauren Hough Williams, offers her expertise as an educator and expert in creating inclusive educational experiences for neurodivergent students.  Lauren helps us see inclusion as a mindset that can manifest in a variety of ways.  We discuss how to encourage sharing responsibility with the classroom teacher in this effort, as well as creating an environment in which thoughtful risk taking and creativity are supported.  While there is no question that inclusion benefits our communities, we discuss how to create plans that maximize the educational experiences of all students in realistic ways.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle talk about the tension that can emerge in professional teams that are in the midst of intense work and limited time for debrief and connection.  There are some realistic and practical approaches that can help us effectively process our experiences without risking passing our stress on to our colleagues.  For example, there is intentionality in how we use the brief pauses in our day that can shift our overall cognitive and emotional stress.  There is also an art to how to express our responses in a vent that can reduce isolation, release stress, and receive a helpful next step.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian discuss what they have learned about depression through their clinical practice.   How can we be curious about our own responses to gain insights into how a depressed person is feeling without taking those on as our own?  What strategies and approaches are most effective?  Why is it almost as hard to support a depressed person as it is to be depressed?  Is depression the enemy or another form of self-protection?  Where do we find hope in each other and in our experience when it comes to depression? Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

In today's episode Joelle and Gillian discuss the nature of childhood anxiety in general and how powerful it can be in creating physical symptoms and derailing learning.  Below is Joelle's amazing one-pager including all we discuss in this episode, and more!Strategies for students who get stuck when feeling anxious.Joelle van Lent, Psy.D.1.) Externalize the anxiety and align with the child against the anxiety.Ask the child to give anxiety a name and even draw a picture of what it would look like if it were visible. Then others can align with the child against anxiety. When anxiety causes conflict between the child and caring adults, it is winning. Anxiety can be disempowered when it is objectified and when adults emphasize that they are working as a team with the child to overcome the anxiety symptoms.2.) Reinforce the strategies not the emotion. It is helpful to remember that emotions and anxiety do not follow logical rules and can be very irrational. The child does not have control over how they feel, yet they do have control overhow they cope. Incentives should focus on their willingness to try coping strategies, such as taking deep breaths instead of yelling, swearing, and suppressing the emotions. Success and praise should focus on the use of coping skills and not the central state of being calm or focused.3.) “Strike while the iron is cold.” Talk about the possibility of an anxious or worried response when the child is calm and there is no sense of urgency. At those times, the child will be more able to plan for how they will be supported and what coping skills they will use.4.) Schedule “worry time”.Set a time each day to worry together. When worries come up at other times, write them down in a “parking lot” and come back to them during worry time. During worry time, parents can worry with the child for a set time (7-10 minutes) and then when the timer goes off use calming strategies and distraction techniques. During worry time, there is mostly expression of worriesand validation. Ask the child if they would like to problem solve during this time. After worry time, focus on distraction and soothing routines.5.) Create visual task strips and schedules for daily tasks and routines.Parents can give visual task strips or lists to help the child with follow directions when stress may disrupt processing, focus, and short-term memory. For example, write a list on a sticky note and hand it to the child while giving verbal directions. Teachers can do the same to reduce the demand on processing and short-term memory.6.) Adults should keep their emotion calm to offer co-regulation.Adults should work to keep their emotional stance calm and actively work to not match the child’s emotion. If adults escalate with the child, this will further dysregulate. The emotions may be irrational, but also real. Validate the emotion, let the child know the problem is in fact manageable, and model how to regulate emotions to match the “size of the problem”. When adults feel urgency to move through a transition, that urgency can further escalate. Therefore, not rushing and reminding oneself that it is OK to pause and regroup for a few minutes in mostsituations.7.) Communicate your belief that the child is capable by not lowering expectations. It is very important that parents and adults in school have not lowered expectations or allowed anxiety to change the rules, limits, and expectations. Children who experience anxiety often notice the secondary gain of anxiety even though it is not the original intention. They may sometimes experiment with those responses even when they are relatively calm, especially ifthose responses elicit attentionFind us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

This week Joelle and Gillian took a look at a pattern where students might learn how to use breaks out of the room to self regulate (great!) but then might become over-reliant on this one coping strategy, contributing to extra time out of the class and also perhaps getting in the way of opportunities for belonging and co-regulation in their classroom community (not so great!) Often our over reliance on breaks results in lowered stress tolerance and stamina.  Often what the student is doing on a "break" is not directly related to their unmet need.  For example, if a student is worried and walking alone in a hallway, that is likely to make the worry worse.  If you need movement, a short walking break could be helpful.  If you are worried, you might be more supported by a task that distracts you from the worry or support in focusing on the task for a few minutes by working with a partner or an adult.  We introduce a "Break the Break Habit" protocol in which we can teach students to identify the unmet need that they were hoping a break would address, self-advocate more directly for what they need, meet those needs in direct and efficient ways using a broader palette of coping strategies, and stay on routine while meeting the need (or return to routine as soon as the need is met).Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

In this week's episode, Joelle and Gillian discuss how we tend to conceptualize, and what we tend to recommend for "breathtakingly inappropriate" behaviors and words that can come up in any classroom, but particularly on the middle school and high school level.  We discuss the role of social media as having the capacity to bring folks down darker "rabbit holes" when they are mentally dissociated and somewhat vulnerable to assimilating information outside of their values, and the ways in which children might find themselves exposed to material that normalizes a lack of consent in words and behavior.  We talk about how kids might bring repeat these to/at each other or adults as a "counterphobic" response to material that they didn't know what to do with or how to process.  We also talk about the importance of clearly labeling harmful behavior as such, rather than subsuming it under the vague and over-used category of "unexpected" behavior.  We talk about how sexualized behavior and comments among adolescents is often more about power than sex, and consider ways to bring in healthy power dynamics where unhealthy ones have contributed to inappropriate and harmful behaviors.  We also talk about the importance of balancing clear limits with positive regard for students, intact connection with students, and a communication of trust in their ability to learn and grow, especially at adolescent ages when peer approval is likely to come with a higher dopamine reward.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle discuss concepts related to healthy identity formation, belonging, and motivating behavior change.  There are many nuances in this discussion, such as the difference between feeling ashamed and feeling shame, the role of guilt as a "rumble strip" keeping us on track with our values, and how our language can either motivate positive growth or cement a negative/hopeless self-concept.  We reference Brene Brown- https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/We mention Adam’s Grant’s book- Hidden Potential Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gilian shares her strategy of processing adult interactions that don’t go as expected, including at times conflict and defensiveness.  Stepping back to consider how fear may be inspiring our responses and re-approaching the interactions with some perspective and curiosity can be very helpful.  Joelle and Gillian share some of their key strategies that may help when stress and fear are taking over-Who is afraid of what? Slow down and back upShare the worryGet consultation from a trusted sourceVisualize the situation as a contingency map - what is the goal and is there a different path? https://autismclassroomresources.com/contingency-maps-for-behavior-proble/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

The podcast welcomes our second guest, Aaron Lanou!  Aaron is one of Gillian's longtime favorite colleagues and thought partners, and you can read all about his work here:In brief, Aaron worked as a special education teacher in New York City public schools for 10 years, working with students with autism and learning disabilities in inclusion and specialized settings, from kindergarten through high school.  He went on to be the Director of Professional Development and Executive Director of NYU's Nest Support Project, leading the team and supporting the largest autism inclusion model in the country. He developed and presented dozens of workshops, and consulted with hundreds of teachers and principals to help educators see and meet the needs of autistic students in inclusive classrooms.  Now, Aaron works as a fantastic consultant and trainer for school settings interested in supporting all learners in an inclusive and inspired way. In this discussion Aaron shares with us one of Carol Gray’s concepts, social humility.  Social humility refers to a stance in which one is “confused with a good attitude” and allows us to pause to understand what may be inspiring behaviors and let go of our basic belief that we (the adult in authority) is right and the unexpected actions of others are to be corrected.  In this discussion, we discover very practical and powerful ways to offer co-regulation, increase our understanding of each other, and create psychological safety.  We unpack the first main point of social humility that the social impairment surrounding autism is shared.  Links:Carol Gray:http://carolgraysocialstories.com/Social Humility Pilot Project:https://carolgraysocialstories.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Social-Humility-Pilot-Project.pdfRoss Greene's Collaborative and Proactive Solutions:https://cpsconnection.comDouble Empathy Problem:https://reframingautism.org.au/miltons-double-empathy-problem-a-summary-for-non-academics/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle discuss their ever-evolving professional opinions on technology, social media, and video gaming use among elementary, middle, and high school students.  While it may seem clear what schools should do in elementary and middle school, high school turns out to still be an area of debate.  Joelle proposes that setting clear boundaries is easier than it may seem.  Gillian offers nuance from neurodiversity-affirming practice and what she is learning from self-advocates.  Our thinking may have even evolved during this conversation!  Join us to see how your experiences line up with our current opinions. Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian welcome their first guest to the Podcast!  Meet Roger, a teacher in the Maryland/DC area.  Roger shares his approaches to supporting students in the context of heightened stress and certainty.  He shares a strategy that utilizes routine, writing, and connection to support students to access learning even when they are contending with powerful emotions.  Some themes that emerge include self-trust, sharing the worry, and always having a plan.  We mentioned neuroscientist Dan Siegel's "Name It To Tame It:"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcDLzppD4JcFind us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle talk about the framework of PDA and how it can both reinforce approaches we have long-used very wisely, as well as inspire some new ways of understanding student responses and needs.  As with any new concept, we can temporarily lose our sense of confidence and competence.  The ideas offered by the PDA framework can also increase our depth of understanding of the capacity for our community to support all learners.  Joelle and Gillian talk through some examples to play around with how the ideas offered through PDA can help us anticipate the reaction to various strategies and find approaches that are likely to work for a wide variety of students.    PDA resource mentioned: Casey Erlich at At Peace Parentshttps://www.atpeaceparents.com/Other great PDA resources:Low Demand Amanda: https://www.amandadiekman.com/PDA North America: https://pdanorthamerica.org/Collaborative and Proactive Solutions:https://cpsconnection.com/Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle chat about frequent suggestions that they make to school teams to support students who are strugging to cope effectively.  They talk about the specific ways that we can approach a stressed person to help assure their needs will be met, validate their emotions, and move forward together successfully.  The strategy of replacing “You need…” with “I need…” along with other ideas helps align with the child against the problem, invite them to an alternate approach, and co-regulate.  In the stampede of the public school pace, school professionals are working to intentionally set their own personal pace and adjust the pace of an interaction to the needs of the students in that moment rather than the fast paced schedule.  It turns out that slowing down is ultimately faster and more efficient, when we need good connection to move forward.  Listen to the whole episode for these and more go-to approaches!! Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian offers a version of the stance of curiosity that will guide our approaches with students who are non-speaking.  Our culture is so reliant on spoken communication that we can have implicit bias that influences our social behavior to under-estimate the capacity of those who communicate via different channels.  How can we change our mindset to presume the competence of non-speaking learners, while taking responsibility to adjust the pace, volume, and language that we use in our conversations without talking down?  Joelle adds ideas related to problem solving including attunement, educated guesses, and modeling.  Visual tools are brought up as a trusted go-to to augment communication.  As always an open, curious, and flexible approach always serves us well.  Check out this amazing video on using Collaborative and Proactive Solutions with non-speaking learners!Strategies for Autistic Students: CPS for Nonspeaking & Echolalic Communicators Stephanie & SarahAlliance against seclusion and restraint youtube channel 8/24/23https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDOq2JPyb8EFind us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

In this episode Joelle and Gillian talk about a strategy to support students who are seeking a connection from a teacher in which they have some kind of status or privilege that is atypical.  This pattern often comes up among students who do not have the basic human need met of feeling special in some part of their lives.  Sometimes this pattern comes up when students have family lives outside of school in which their parents are overwhelmed, the student is in foster care, or the student feels anxious about parental well-being.  This can also come up when school-based trauma like bullying is happening for a student. In such cases, they may seek the grounding of special connection from the teacher without knowing what is driving their actions.  This dynamic can also occur if the student feels chronically unsuccessful in school academically and socially.   This pattern may begin with the student seeking out positive connection, being extra helpful, and being very charming.  When the teacher inevitably sets a reasonable boundary for their relationship with the student, this can feel like a deep rejection rather than a helpful limit setting, as might be expected.  When this felt rejection occurs, teachers may be surprised by a shift in the student’s engagement or behavior.  The student may seek their attention through escalation rather than helpfulness.  Recognizing that the student may need to feel special and creating a path to meet that need in a predictable and relatively insignificant manner can shift the dynamic to be one in which the student gets a regular reassuring dose and the teacher is not overwhelmed by needs inspired by factors outside of their control.  Joelle and Gillian discuss scenarios and give fun examples for this approach.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

A liminal experience is a concept related to an "in between" time in which there is both familiarity and disruptive change.  Joelle and Gillian talk about the impact of the many significant challenges of public schooling in the past five years including the COVID-19 pandemic, staffing shortages, budgetary changes, and the current political context.  They talk through how to deal with all this, with the conclusions that:Grounding can be found in one’s values, core beliefs, and goals.  Complex communities can create space for varied coping styles.  We can be a source of guidance for our students not by being perfect in our responses but through being willing to be a transparent about how we are feeling and willing to learn from our own mistakes.  Most importantly, our efforts are to reduce isolation and get curious about each others' experience so we can be the most consistent, affirming and regulated adults possible for the children around us.  We take care of us! https://hbr.org/2024/11/how-to-lead-when-the-future-feels-unpredictable?ab=HP-bottom-popular-text-4Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle explore the theme of being humans in helping professions, and especially in schools when it can be important to stay “on” and present as fully regulated when in front of students.  When we are experiencing big emotions but can’t show them, this can contribute to something called “allostatic load,” or the stress response our bodies and brains have to try to address a problem and come back to homeostasis.  Joelle and Gillian consider an “emotional parking lot” to remind us of big emotions that we needed to “put somewhere else” during the day but may still need a chance to turn toward and feel before day’s end if possible.  Joelle and Gillian also review the theory of “allostatic load” in general, and how compassionately noticing, turning toward, and offering some form of completion to our personal “road signs” of fight flight or freeze responses can bring us back to homeostasis more than chronically avoiding these can do.Here's the awesome book we mention during the episode:https://www.powells.com/book/-9781984818324/7-2?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAz6q-BhCfARIsAOezPxn0B9TRewy-G3rkTMIkiF2uP28q05CnyMeEnLydl1FA3W3xkXE3wYAaAjNbEALw_wcBFind us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle talk about the importance of including scheduled time to play in the school routine.  Recess is unstructured child directed play and offers students a time for movement, fresh air, social connection, creativity, and a break from responding to task demands.  Elementary school students also have semi-structured child directed play in which the teacher creates stations in the classroom and children choose among play options.  These times are often called “choice” or “explore” time.  Choice time includes the presence of the highly skilled regular educator who can model and teach emotional regulation and social cognition in situations that are typically highly motivating and quite natural.  Joelle and Gillian wonder together if a noted reduction in semi-structured child directed play in the past few years is contributing to an increase in student dysregulation, low stamina, and overreliance on adult support to engage in the routines of school.  If so, isn’t the solution well within our reach?Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian draw on their years of conducting autism evaluations, and interpreting the results of these evaluations with children and families to share their perspective on disclosing this diagnostic information.  Both note that despite the nervousness parents and psychologists both can feel before letting children know about an autism diagnosis, these conversations are typically somewhere between neutral and very positive for the children and adolescents receiving the information.  Joelle and Gillian stress the importance of getting informing adults connected to a neurodiversity affirming stance that autism is not bad news, before as promptly as possible sharing with a child what we know about their brain, and offering a framework for healthy integration.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian and Joelle talk about the skill of self-monitoring, which is an executive functioning skill in which one can self-evaluate and take a “bird's-eye view” to see how one’s emotions, thoughts, and actions are working to meet their goals.  This goals is related to but unique from situational awareness, which is the skill of recognizing the focus, actions, and energy of a group of people.  In both cases, the awareness of self and social context can inform how the person may need to adjust their internal state or actions to meet goals and successfully join groups.  In this podcast, Joelle and Gillian discuss how to teach these skills and how our responses can focus on building capacity and self-determination instead of simply eliciting compliance.  Strategies including mindfulness techniques and working through a sequence of steps to check the vibe when entering a situation are detailed in this discussion.  With great appreciation and compassion for how hard school staff are working to respond and offer co-regulation, these ideas are intended to build self-reliance in students and prevent burnout in educators and school professionals.  Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle and Gillian continue some “greatest hits” of school consultation, with two more interventions they keep finding themselves recommending in their travels this year.  A “parking lot” is a tool that can help with impulsivity and calling out in the group.  Having an idea, then sorting through whether it is a helpful idea for the group in the moment, and THEN figuring out how to “shelve” and remember it for later if it’s not a “right now’ thing are an incredibly complex set of mental and emotional tools that kids need to model and practice before they can do independently.  Teaching kids to externally and explicitly “shelve” ideas and information during learning time, and modeling to them that an important adult will come and sort through these with the student reliably, can have a huge impact not only on calling out but on the development of executive functions in general.  “Going at the pace of the humans in front of you” is a practice of courage, confidence, and finding an important middle between absorbing whole cloth the aspirational and often too-fast ideas of those who set the frameworks for schools in the abstract, and feeling we have to “go rogue” or defy the system by ourselves in order to do what we know is right for kids.  Joelle describes a process for staying curious both about the framework and about the kids in front of us, and collaborating with our teaching team and our admin to adjust the plan to meet the needs.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Gillian & Joelle share two of their most common suggestions when consulting with educators and clinicians working with kids.  “Step over the behavior” helps us connect with the need and emotion driving negative behavior, shift engagement to be more positive for all, and protect us from taking on stress that is not ours to own.  “Two by ten” is a strategy of spending two minutes per day for ten consecutive days sitting nearby and focusing on a student with whom you have a tricky connection.  This can look like joining their action, asking connecting questions, and always looks like sitting next to and not in front of that person.  In both of these recommendations, a key idea is to state your intention or rationale so that you can relieve the other person of having to decipher your goal and emotion. Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

Joelle & Gillian discuss the tension between offering support and skills to help people build stress tolerance for growth promoting opportunities and validating and supporting those who are experiencing anxiety and trauma response.  Essentially how do we balance nurturing someone who is suffering, with offering them an empowering and consented-to push? Specific approaches of worry time and trigger warnings are discussed as far as classroom strategies where this balance can be struck.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

In which Joelle and Gillian think they are doing a dress rehearsal for the first episode but surprise themselves and the world by identifying a bit of a mission statement of their work and of this podcast thereby stumbling upon a real episode.  The mission statement: To protect the “natural resources” of the bandwidth, emotional energy and creative thinking of children and adults in schools by addressing all that threatens slowing down and connecting to one another.  They define the main threat to that as being a sense of urgency and being caught in an impossible web of “supposed tos” in modern schooling, and in particular the risk of personalizing the inability to do everything one is “supposed to” rather than locating that as a flaw in the system.  They discuss the impact of fear on the brain, and the way that curiosity serves as an antidote to the closing down of possibility that fear tends to bring in.  They also define some practical ways to use the stance of curiosity, in particular looking for questions in hard situations to connect, empathize and make sense of our own and others’ responses.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/

What's this?  A new podcast where clinical psychologists who work in schools advocate for a more curious, human-paced, compassionate approach to both teaching and administration?  In this trailer, Joelle and Gillian give their best elevator pitch.Find us on Instagram!Gillian: https://www.instagram.com/clearconnectionpsychology/Joelle: https://www.instagram.com/joelle.vanlent/