Straight Wife Trans Life

I call baloney on anyone who suggests that only a man and woman can lay the foundation for a so-called nuclear family. As someone whose marriage began in the heterosexual sense and morphed into a mixed orientation marriage, we remain more traditional than most. In this episode, my spouse and I chat about the term nuclear family and why it is anti-LGBTQ+ at the core. Mentioned or related to this episode: Advocate: June is Pride Month. Tennessee Republicans Say it's 'Nuclear Family Month' Raising Children Network: How to Support LGBTQ+ Families in Your Community QueerAF: Challenging the "Nuclear Family" Helps Everyone, Not Just Queer Families Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters,Lambda Legal, Advocates for Trans Equality, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

A brief dive into how anti-transgender hate bills and laws are set in motion. It is a well-coordinated, 50-year-running long con to dismantle democracy.  Mentioned or related to this episode: PBS LearningMedia: How Laws are Made in Congress Rock the Vote: State Legislatures, An Explainer  American Bar Association: What is an Executive Order? Video: Human Rights Campaign - Who's Behind the Anti-LGBTQ+ Movement?  ACLU: Project 2025 Explained Greenpeace: The Heritage Foundation PBS News Hour: What is Christian Nationalism and Why it Raises Concerns about Threats to Democracy Common Cause Foundation: Why Does Big Oil Bankroll the Anti-Trans Movement?  Open Secrets: Top Contributors, Federal Election Data for DT, 2024 Open Secrets: Companies that Publicly Condemned Anti-LGBTQ Legislation, Sent Political Contributions to Advancing Anti-LGBTQ Legislation Greenpeace: The Fossil Fuel Industry is Inherently Patriarchal and Criminal Williams Institute: The Impact of Anti-Transgender Legislation on Youth ACLU: The Impacts of Anti-Transgender Laws and Policies ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in State Legislature Erin in the Morning to follow for transgender legislation updates Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters,Lambda Legal, Advocates for Trans Equality, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

New laws are trying to erase transgender people and Law SB 244 that recently passed in the U.S. state of Kansas is a prime example. Transgender people are here to stay and in this episode, I touch on how wasteful and cruel this law is for the transgender community, a sliver of the population who are people like the rest of us.  Mentioned or related to this episode: ACLU: Understanding the SB 244 Law in Kansas Kansas SB 244 Law Details Request Assistance from ACLU Kansas Transgender Law Center Resources Lamda Legal LGBTQ Foundation of Kansas Trans Lawrence Coalition Boots on the Ground Midwest  Transgender Institute (Kansas City, MO) PFLAG Kansas City (including KS)  Erin in the Morning to follow for transgender legislation updates Advocate & Educator to follow on Instagram Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters,Lambda Legal, Advocates for Trans Equality, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, my spouse shares whether she has regrets not coming out sooner and touches on the topic of what might have been missed since she came out as an adult. Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Advocates for Trans Equality, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The new season begins with a reflection on the fourth year post-disclosure and how things looked then versus now.  Mentioned in or related to this episode:  PFLAG and International PFLAG: Support, Education, and Advocacy for LGBTQ+ People and their Loved Ones Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Advocates for Trans Equality, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The season ends with a message of hope and an encore interview with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help you anywhere in the world, you can contact her here.   The podcast returns in January. Thank you for listening and here's to hoping for a wonderful year ahead. Mentioned in or related to this episode:  Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  Them: How to Prepare for your First Visit Home after Transitioning TransVitae: Helping Your Family Accept a Transgender Partner Pronoun Pins: Human Rights Campaign pronoun pins , PFLAG pronoun buttons, Dissent pins, Etsy pronoun pins  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It is an ongoing calculation to decide when to tell someone new that your spouse is transgender. Everyone in your circle may know, but one still has to decide if it is necessary, if you think your spouse will be okay with it if they're not there, and whether it is even up to your spouse when you feel like it is the right moment to share that piece of information with someone new. In this episode, my spouse and I discuss a recent situation where we were caught off guard and another where I made the decision to tell someone that she happens to be transgender. Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

I asked my 12-year-old to share his perspective on moving abroad and squeezed out just enough to create a short episode. It is a reminder that kids are resilient and can handle big things as long as there is a support network to lean on — in this case, he has his parents plus family and friends from afar.  There are lots of books, podcasts, resources and groups online to help you and your kids with an overseas move and even more specific to your situation and where you are going -- if you are planning a move, I encourage finding those groups and resources to help make the process feel less daunting. Mentioned or related to this episode: First interview with my son: Perspective from a 10-year-old Second interview with my son: A Child's Perspective on FFS Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Trans Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, my spouse shares her feelings about moving abroad. "We are not chess pieces," she says, regarding the current anti-transgender climate in the US. That says it all.   Mentioned or related to this episode: USA Today: Safest States for Gay and Trans People Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Trans Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

You know how we sometimes dissect our night out on the way home from an event — you think about things you said, what others said, what you would do differently. That's what it feels like I've been doing after living abroad for two months — looking back and wondering if things are as bad as I thought they were, and if we made the right move. This can't be covered in one episode but let's explore how things are currently looking from here.  Mentioned or related to this episode: ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2025 NBC News: Texas to Become 20th State with Transgender Bathroom Law Lambda Legal: Identiy Document Guidance for Transgender, Nonbinary, Gender-Noncomforming, and Intersex People  TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In the U.S., the current administration has fueled a hate-filled climate toward transgender people that is false, dangerous, and manipulative. It is a loss for the U.S. when smart, kind, caring people who have the burden of carrying the stigma that the transgender label brings — leave the U.S.  In this episode, I share why our family of three, plus one dog, packed up decades of life into nine suitcases and a few carry-ons and left the United States.  Mentioned or related to this episode: NPR: A Pioneering Gender-Affirming Health Institute Opened in 1919 Netflix Documentary: ELDORADO -- Everything the Nazis Hate Visit Berlin: Magnus Hirschfeld -- Soul of the Queer Community QueerAF: Learning about the first trans clinic Independent: Trump has Declared War on the Transgender Community, Leaving Americans to Seek Asylum -- from America  Lambda Legal: Identiy Document Guidance for Transgender, Nonbinary, Gender-Noncomforming, and Intersex People  TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Erin in the Morning: Countries Should Accept Transgender Refugees from the U.S.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The big news in this episode is that I am taking a little hiatus until mid-September due to a big move with my spouse and our son. I'll miss you until then! I leave you with a few self-care tips that I hope are fresh enough to help carry each of us forward as we wade through these uncertain times.  Chin up and onward we go, together.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It is easy to get distracted and drift off in one direction a little more than anticipated; sometimes we need to pause and hit the reset button when that happens. Recently, I have been laying it on thick as an ally to my spouse while forgetting about my own needs — not too difficult to do in these crazy times. While I reset, I reshare a talk with my son regarding his perspective about when my spouse came out as transgender. It's a reminder that things aren't that complicated and people are people.   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

A heartfelt thank you to the listeners, even my spouse, who brought it to my attention that the individual I previously interviewed and had in this slot was not presenting themselves in a truthful manner. I consider the podcast a community where resources, ideas, and honest opinions can be shared. This means that I will dig deeper to ensure this doesn't happen again. Accountability matters.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

In this episode, meet Renée Yoxon, a gender-affirming voice teacher who has created a suite of online voice courses to help you or the transgender or nonbinary person in your life to feminize, masculinize, or find something in between to shape that preferred this-is-me sound when speaking. Renée discusses their background, tips for voice health, and not allowing your fears to prevent you from beginning your voice transition journey. They also walk me through a voice exercise that you can find in the freebies section of their website.  The goal: "there isn't a final goal... really what you're working towards is using your voice in everyday life in a way that doesn't feel like you're thinking about it all the time..." Mentioned or related to this episode: Renée Yoxon's website Renée's courses Renée's freebies Sign up for Renée's newsletter Find Renée on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Bluesky Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Two weeks post vocal feminization surgery, we hear what my spouse sounds like as she slowly recovers. She was on vocal rest for the past weeks and we talk about how she communicated, her reasons for opting for vocal surgery, and what she hopes the outcome will be in the months ahead.  My favorite word in this episode: otolaryngology. Say that ten times. Mentioned or related to this episode: Text-to-speech generator Phone app text-to speech generator (Google Play) Type of vocal surgery: VFSRAC -- Vocal Fold Shortening and Retrodisplacement Anterior Commissure Medical team who performed this surgery Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.  

On the eve of her vocal feminization surgery, I talk to my spouse about surgeries she has had at this stage of her transition, the surgery decision process, and how she is feeling going into this one.  Mentioned or related to this episode: GLAAD: Transgender Day of Visibility, March 31  FOLX: LGBTQ+ health care provider HRC: Get the Facts on Gender Affirming Care Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers. MAR 16, 2025SHARE  

In this episode, I talk to my mom in her eighties about her reaction when I told her that my spouse had come out as transgender. My favorite quote from our talk: "You're not the one who has the right to judge."  Mentioned or related to this episode: American Field Service (AFS) Book my parents read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan PFLAG National for friend and family ally support PFLAG International for friend and family ally support Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Telling your parents that your spouse has come out as transgender can be quite stressful; no two family dynamics are the same. In this episode, I talk to my midwestern, cisgender, former United States Navy officer, highly educated dad in his eighties about his reaction when I told him that my spouse had come out as transgender. My favorite quote from our talk: "The only change would be our nasty attitude and that just makes no sense." FYI: The podcast is now available on YouTube, too.  Mentioned or related to this episode: Book my dad read: She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan PFLAG National for friend and family ally support PFLAG International for friend and family ally support Book I recently read and recommend: Dear Cisgender People: A Guide to Trans Allyship and Empathy, by Kenny Ethan Jones Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The news headlines about attempts to erase the transgender community can do a number on us. Partner up, it's going to be an unpredictable, bumpy ride. Rest when you need to, stay hydrated, and keep being you. Allies, time to step up.  Trans Lifeline: Resources for Dealing with Post-Election Grief Mentioned or related to this episode: USA Today: Utah bill would ban Pride flags in public schools but allow Nazi flags for educational use The Salt Lake Tribune: Utah Republican amends anti-pride flag bill hours after saying Nazi, Confederate flags could be displayed in schools NPR: Park Service erases 'transgender' on Stonewall website, uses the term 'LGB' movement ABC News: Transgender references removed from Stonewall National Monument website Recommended: Erin in the Morning Recommended: The Trans Formations Project Recommended: The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC Recommended groups for cisgender spouses: PFLAG, Reddit, Facebook here and here More resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People Advocates for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

Misinformation and fake news are abundant, and knowing what's real and what's not can even take the savviest person by surprise. Transgender people are the current target and as the saying goes, repeat a lie enough times and people start to believe it. Let's change that. In this episode, I share tips and thoughts on how to spot fake news and stop others from spreading it. Mentioned or related to this episode: NBC News: Trans Pilot Shares "Proof of Life" Video... Cornell University: Types of False Information Adelphi University: Evaluation Tools Adelphi University: The CRAAP Test National Geographic / Global Digital Citizen Foundation: Critical Thinking Cheatsheet L.A. Public Library: How to Talk to Friends and Family Who Spread Misinformation Time: Nine Ways to Respond to Political Misinformation World Health Organization (WHO): Reporting Misinformation Online UC Berkeley Library: List of Fact Checkers Special NPR Series: Untangling Disinformation  Denver Public Library: Challenge Misinformation: Books for Adults Rawson Internet Marketing: Media Literacy, Fact Checking, and Critical Thinking in the Age of Misinformation Book: Think Again by Adam Grant  Book: Weaponized Lies, How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era by Daniel J. Levitin Book: The Demon-Haunted World, Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It has been three years since my spouse came out to me as transgender. This episode reflects on how the first two years look from here, plus how things are going and where they are headed.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

It's a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in México to celebrate her dad's 80th birthday this past November. It has been a difficult road for their relationship since my spouse came out and only recently have they been communicating on a regular basis. This was the first visit since my spouse began her transition, almost three years ago. Change can happen with effort from all sides.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The season ends with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help anyone, anywhere in the world. In this episode, Abbe shares how a loved one coming out can impact the straight spouse or partner and offers insight into how couples can make it work.   Abbe's coaching website   Season 3 returns in January. Until then, be well and thank you for listening.  Additional Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

One month into middle school for my son and a student has already used an anti-LGBTQ+ slur against another student in a locker room. The kicker is that we live in what is considered a very progressive area. In this episode, my son and I have a talk about this incident, how a teacher handled it, and what he might have done if the teacher wasn't there.  Related to this episode: UNICEF: How to Talk to Your Kids About Hate Speech Anti-Defamation League: What is "Grooming?" The Truth Behind the Dangerous, Bigoted Lie Targeting the LGBTQ+ Community Lambda Legal: Know Your Rights - Anti-Gay and Anti-Equality Speech Lambda Legal: For Educators - How to Make Your School Safer for LGBTQ Students   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.    

The Summer Olympics just ended and I'm always impressed by the overall mental strength component that athletes have to excel at their sports. It takes mental strength to succeed in sports, at work, as parents, and in a situation like many of us where your spouse or partner has come out as transgender. Let's explore this idea of mental strength to help us remain grounded as we navigate a loved one coming out.  Mentioned in this episode: CNBC: I Study and Train Mentally Strong People for a Living - Here are 7 Things They Never Do    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

New job, new people can be exciting for most of us and unchartered, anxiety-inducing territory for transgender people who just want to fit in with everyone else. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her first work retreat where she met new coworkers at an otherwise remote-based company. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

There are times when someone famous shows us their transphobic side or a transgender person makes poor decisions that come to light and they paint a negative image for the transgender community. Both examples actually had their moment in various news outlets this week and for those of us with a transgender partner or spouse, we may get caught in the middle of a fresh batch of transphobia. In this episode, I explore ways to respond.   Mentioned and Related Links:  The people making headlines this week: CNN and Rolling Stone TransActual UK: Transphobia Medium: How to Respond to Transphobia Attitude: Next Goal Wins - Meet the Amazing Trans Footballer Who Inspired Taika Waititi's Film and the Star Who Plays Her Book: Transgender History, second edition by Susan Stryker Book: Black on Both Sides, a Racial History of Trans Identity by C. Riley Snorton Book: Before We Were Trans by Dr. Kit Heyam, Ph.D Journal: TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly Amnesty International: How to Tell Someone You Know They're Being Transphobic  Boston University CIDI: Responding to Misinformation about Gender Diversity YouTube: ACLU: How to Respond to Trans Misinformation QueerAF: How to Respond to Trans Misinformation from within the Trans Community Trans Reads: collection of free trans-focused literature Media Bias/Fact Check: A Resource to Check Your Information Sources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

The term "trans widow" is one that I thought I related to at first... until I didn't. It is actually quite transphobic and in this episode, I share why it doesn't sit well with me.    Mentioned and Related Links:  National suicide prevention lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) LGBT National Help Center hotline: 1-888-843-4564 International Suicide Hotlines Opinion: A Letter to "Trans Widows", From an Actual Widow  HBO Max: We're Here Opinion: I'm a Real Trans Widow - Anyone Saying Their Newly Out Trans Partner is 'Dead' Disgusts Me Opinion: Please Stop Saying "Trans Widows"   The Williams Institute: Suicide Thoughts and Attempts Among Transgender Adults   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

For the first time since my spouse began her transition two and a half years ago, she is looking for a new job opportunity. She is a Latina transgender woman who is fortunate to be educated with a strong support system. Keep in mind that the transgender workforce reports low employment rates, lower salaries, and high discrimination. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her job search experience.   Related Resources:  ACLU: Report Discrimination  Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE): Know Your Employment Rights and Employment  Human Rights Campaign: Transitioning as an Employee and Trans Toolkit for Employers  LGBT National Help Center: Find Local Resources Database Out for Work: Employment Planning Resources for LGBTQ+ Students Transgender Law Center: Employment Resources Australia: TransHub  Canada: Employment Resources Europe: Transgender Europe (TGEU) Campaign for Southern Equality: Resources + by southern states Los Angeles: Trans Can Work Philadelphia & Vicinity: TransWork  San Francisco LGBT Center: Employment Services   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

It's Father's Day in the U.S. today and the first Father's Day post-disclosure was rough. Now, two and a half years in, it's not a big deal but I still struggle with how to label my spouse when she's not around. Is labeling my transgender spouse a "spouse" enough or is it necessary to add more or less? Here's how I'm currently working through it.   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.  

June is Pride Month, a time to raise awareness about the LGBTQ+ community, its history and remembering the Stonewall Uprising, current issues facing the community… and it's a time to celebrate diversity and acceptance, hope, progress, joy. I love that allyship is strong this month. Let's explore how one can be a great ally to the LGBTQ+ community this month plus all year.    Related Resources:  Article - Harvard Business Review: What it Means to Be a Better Ally to the LGBTQ+ Community  Resource - ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2024  Resource - Trans Legislation Tracker Consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers Article - Out: 15 Pride Products from Brands that Actually Give Back to the LGBTQ+ Community   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.  

A main giveaway that someone might be transgender is their voice. Speaking as a transgender person can be daunting and in this episode, I talk to my spouse about her road to sounding more feminine with the help of vocal therapy.    Related Resources:  American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA): includes list of resources and how to find them Stanford Health Care: LGBTQ+ Health Program  UCLA Health: Voice Therapy and Voice Surgery UCSF Transgender Care: Voice and Speech Therapy International Resource - Australia: TransHub  International Resource - British Trans Voice Coach Adi Wilson  International Resource - Canadian Trans Voice Coach Renée Yoxon Bay Area OUTspoken Speech Services Connected Speech Pathology Seattle Voice Lab Voice by Kylie (Trans Women) and voice resonance guide by Kylie  Voice Tools App: Apple and Android YouTube: TransVoiceLessons YouTube: Transmasculine resource AmaRoseLessons   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

I ask my spouse a few questions about her experience as a transgender woman using public restrooms.    Related Resources:  Article - The 19th: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary People Resource - Refuge Restrooms: a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for the LGBTQ+ community Resource (PDF) - OSHA: A Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers   Resource - MAP: transgender issues and transgender bathroom and facilities bans Resource - National Center for Transgender Equality: Transgender People and Bathroom Access Resource - Human Rights Campaign: Resources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

The idea that a transgender person should not be permitted to use a public restroom that aligns with their gender identity is misunderstood and places the safety of a transgender person in jeopardy. This episode touches the surface from my viewpoint as someone who lives with a transgender person.   Mentioned and Related Resources:  Article - Advocate: Transgender People Confronted in Florida Bathroom Ban Article - CNN: 3 Myths that Shape the Transgender Bathroom Debate Article - The 19th: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary People Resource - Refuge Restrooms: a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for the LGBTQ+ community Resource (PDF) - OSHA: A Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers   Resource - MAP: transgender issues and transgender bathroom and facilities bans Resource - National Center for Transgender Equality: Transgender People and Bathroom Access Resource - Human Rights Campaign: Resources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee    

In this episode, I take a moment to share an overview of…you! Several of you have taken time to write to me and it means so much. You, listeners, are a diverse, interesting, wonderful group of people and I appreciate you.   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Anger is one of the first and lingering emotions that occur when a spouse discloses that they are transgender; lingering as in years. How does one let go of that anger and move forward? In this episode, I offer a few ideas of where to start and it requires being willing to accept that it is time to make changes.   Mentioned in this episode: Waiting to Exhale movie: Angela Bassett car fire scene (adult content) Verywell Mind article: Victim Mentality: Definition, Causes, and Ways to Cope   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

After a death in my spouse's family, she has her first interaction with her dad in a very long time. Can someone who is unsupportive about their child's transition come around and realize that transgender people are just people? Possibly. For my spouse, her dad has taken a positive step forward.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

My transgender spouse mentioned that she wants to be addressed as female at all times, including our past. For me, it doesn't feel honest because I have only been married to a transgender woman for two years vs. 13 years with a male. In this episode, we chat about the issue from both perspectives and ultimately, there is no real solution except to take it case-by-case.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

I ask our 10-year-old son how he is feeling since his male-to-female parent, my spouse, had facial feminization surgery (FFS) a few months ago in December. Judging by his responses, I needlessly worried about how he would do.   Resources for Kids & Families:  COLAGE  Book - She's My Dad Book - He's My Mom Book - No One Owns the Colors Book - The World Needs More Purple People Book - It's Okay to be Different Book - Red: A Crayon's Story Transgender Reading List for Adults via PFLAG Books about Trans Parents for Kids and Adults via Mombian UCLA The Williams Institute: Data Regarding Transgender Parents (2020) Article: How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their Children Article: Here's a Way to Start a Conversation with Kids...  Article - Coming Out Trans to your Kids Article - Going from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My Kids Lambda Legal: FAQ About Transgender Parenting   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

In this episode, I share my real feelings about FFS before and after, and my spouse discusses how things look and feel two months post-surgery.    Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health  Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers  UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says  For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Early in December, my spouse had facial feminization surgery (FFS). The day before her surgery, we recorded a brief discussion to share with you about why she felt she was ready for it, if she was worried about how our 10-year-old son might react, and any other concerns she might have. As someone living with a transgender person, I now understand how important this step can be toward treating gender dysphoria.    Mentioned in this episode: Stanford Medicine: LGBTQ+ Health Program   Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health  Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers  UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says  For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Two years ago on New Year's Eve, my husband came out to me as a transgender woman. That was a dark day. But change is constant and this is the first year since disclosure that I'm looking forward to celebrating the day again.  In this episode, I share what has changed in two years to reach this point.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

The rougher part of the holidays after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: dealing with friends and family at gatherings or coworkers and acquaintances at events. Whether you attend alone or together, 'tis the season to set boundaries and prepare ahead of time so you're not caught off guard.  Mentioned in this episode:  The Daily Show: Leslie Jones Stops your Annoying Relatives from Ruining Thanksgiving Them: How to Prepare for your First Visit Home after Transitioning Pronoun Pins: Human Rights Campaign pronoun pins , PFLAG pronoun buttons , Dissent pins, Etsy pronoun pins  Song: Kenny Rogers, The Gambler   More holiday resources:  PFLAG: How to "Ally" for the Holidays  SF LGBT Center: An LGBTQ Guide to Surviving the Holidays  USA Today: Coming out for the Holidays: How Families React Could Save Lives   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Let's start the new season of the podast with a portion of the holidays that you can control after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: checking in with yourself. Take a deep breath, listen to yourself, and find something positive.   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

  The podcast returns December 10 but today, the first season ends with a list of lessons I've learned since my spouse came out almost two years ago. Thank you for listening, reaching out, and taking time out of your day to share this journey with me. I hope you find these helpful:   Be kind to yourself Take your time making decisions Find empathy Allow yourself to grieve Find a great therapist for yourself and with your loved one Test out support groups, sometimes the best fit isn't the first one Call out or be honest with family and friends making negative, transphobic comments Set boundaries Be true to yourself Find your new happy   Mentioned in this episode:  Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune: Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young Interview with the voice actor behind the Sunscreen Song: Lee Perry YouTube: The Sunscreen Song   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee    

Deciding to stay married to a spouse who comes out as transgender is a big decision for a variety of reasons. In this episode, you get an idea of how my spouse and I make our marriage work as we approach the two year mark of her coming out as a transgender woman. There are no guarantees; one day at a time.    Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

My spouse returns as a guest to discuss how she came out to her parents and brother as transgender and the challenges along the way. It took several months to build the courage to break the news and brace for any negative outcomes.   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

In this episode, I introduce you to my spouse who came out as transgender a year and a half ago. She discusses how she came to understand that she is transgender, the rollercoaster of emotions leading to that moment, and what it was like to tell me.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Emotions and questions are aplenty when your spouse or partner comes out as transgender. Sorting through it all is complex and there can be conflicting feelings. You can be happy that the person you love has figured out this piece to themselves while struggling through the loss of what you had together. Compartmentalization could be helpful. Mentioned in this episode: Psychology Today: Compartmentalization Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide