Surthrival Podcast with Stacia

Monte Erwin shares the story of losing his wife, Janet, a little more than a year ago. As an introvert, he has had to force himself to get out of the house, increasing the amount of volunteering with his church, Shades Crest Baptist Church in Hoover, AL. He also purchased two adorable Miniature Schnauzer brothers who have brought him laughter, snuggles and comfort. His advice to the grieving: 1) give yourself a lot of grace 2) take care of yourself (through healthy eating and exercise) and 3) don't be afraid to say no (even if it's just for a season)."Everyday Gospel" by Paul Davis Tripp - referenced devotional book that's been meaningful to Monte

Single Again - Who am I?After losing a spouse, we can find ourselves wondering who we are outside of that relationship? Deidre Clark shares her story of loss and how she became reacquainted with herself after losing Brian “Voice Porter” Hawkins. One of the questions she asked herself was if she really liked Marvel movies or watched them because Brian liked them. She does like them!When grief brings the loss of a significant relationship, it is an opportunity for the surthrivor to get to know themselves again – from our entertainment choices to what we like to eat. It can be difficult, but it is also an opportunity to be curious and explore new things. As with all healthy grief journeys, we must travel through the darkness to find the light. If you have lost your life partner (or experienced any type of significant loss), consider reframing your deep loss as an opportunity to become reacquainted with yourself. Though it can be disorienting at first, it is a gift to explore your preferences and find freedom and flexibility in your singleness. Remember: loss and hope can and does co-exist, sadness and joy can both be true at the same time. Deidre was asking these questions about who she was without Brian and journaling what she discovered (express the feels). She searched for a vehicle that contained the deep questions she wanted to answer. Finding none, she created one - a card deck called Becoming You, 52 thoughtfully designed cards for women who are moving through transition, change or quiet reckoning. Becommingyoudeck.com to order! Example card: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO THRIVE IN THIS MOMENT? What’s one step you can take towards that? 4 pieces of wisdom from Deidre Clark:1. Be exceedingly kind to yourself.2. Be curious.3. Only go as deep as your nervous system can handle.4. Find a therapist to help guide you through this journey. https://onbeing.org/programs/krista-tippett-hope-portal-episode-1/

Caleb Young lost his older brother, Ty—whom he idolized—to suicide when he was 11. The loss shaped the way he viewed life and the choices he made as he grew up. In Cuero (Spanish for “raw hide”), a small Texas town where many men drive trucks and wear cowboy boots and hats, the culture is rugged and rooted in hunting, fishing, and ranching. In a place like that, social norms—paired with traditional expectations of masculinity—can create a different kind of grieving, one that is often quiet, internal, and delayed. Caleb shares his story of loss, the long-term effects it had on him, and the healthier ways he eventually learned to live with grief (after trying some unhealthy ones first).You’ll enjoy Caleb’s wit and way of expressing himself, and through his experience, we’ll explore grief from a male perspective and consider how men may process and express emotion differently than their female counterparts.

In this series, we have talked about suicide prevention, suicide bereavement and heard the sad story of Natalie, who at thirteen lost her dad to suicide. This final episode takes a different approach. This is John Cooper’s story of considering suicide after being incarcerated for a white-collar crime. Many of you have asked me how anyone can choose to end their life. It doesn’t seem rational, and it’s not. Listen to John’s story of loss (of freedom, reputation and his family) which included shame and embarrassment while serving time in prison, a world he never thought he’d live in. This may provide you with new insights into the mind of someone who has considered death by suicide. John states that he couldn’t see how he was “going to do this anymore”. When he asked the chaplain why the prison didn’t just have a suicide box so that he could be put out of his misery, he is reminded that what we are going through now (no matter how horrific) will not last forever. Maybe you need that reminder today.More than suicidal ideation, this episode really focuses on hope. Past mistakes do not have to define your future. Regardless of what loss you are going through, John tells us to not buy into the lie that all hope is lost.

Natalie was just 13 when she lost her dad to suicide. This profound loss damaged her mental well-being until she found her passion and purpose of helping people in the name of Jesus. Natalie came to the United States on a mission trip years ago and ended up staying – recently getting her US citizenship! She is a wife and mother (of twin boys). Originally from Cape Town, South Africa, Natalie serves as COO and Director of Advancement at Grace Klein Community, a Birmingham-based non-profit. https://gracekleincommunity.com/Listen as Natalie shares her story of being a suicide SURTHRIVER.Call 988 at any time to connect with a skilled, caring counselor and get support.

In this episode we continue our conversation around Suicide with Meesha Emmett, Area Director for the Alabama Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Previously we spent our energy on suicide prevention. In this episode, we focus on the grief of those who have lost a loved one to death by suicide. This type of grief is complicated and is often ignored due to guilt, blame and shame. Suicide is a taboo topic, but we have to talk about this and help those who are suffering from this complex loss. If you have experienced this type of grief, know you are not alone. Send me an email at [email protected] or utilize the resources listed below.Meesha EmmettAlabama Area [email protected] you in a crisis? Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741RESOURCESEnglish: afsp.org/survivingasuicideloss ​​​​​​​English : afsp.org/childrenteensandsuicideloss Find a mental health professional | AFSPFind a support group | AFSP

WARNING: This episode discusses suicide and may be triggering for some listeners and inappropriate for younger audiences.Meesha Emmett of the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (Alabama Chapter) and I talk honestly about the taboo topic of Suicide. In this introductory episode we share our personal stories, talk about suicide prevention and share staggering statistics about this preventable epidemic. We can save lives by educating ourselves and advocating for those considering suicide. This practical and enlightening series is for those thinking of suicide, those who may be concerned that a loved one has suicidal ideation and for those who want to become educated about this important topic. Listen and share!Are you in a crisis? Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741English: afsp.org/survivingasuicideloss​​​​​​​English : afsp.org/childrenteensandsuicidelossFind a mental health professional | AFSPFind a support group | AFSPMy Guest:Meesha EmmettAlabama Area [email protected]

Nobody likes to talk about death before the event, but it's important. Listen as Bryan Hancock of Timberchase Financial shares practical tips about getting your finances in order before a significant loss, as well as top tips for what steps you need to take after losing a spouse.Financial Surthrival Plan for after losing a spouse: (Stacia tested and approved!)Reduce riskReduce moving partsPut out fires in the basementIdentify a trusted person for second opinionFocus on your family and your own well-being until the grief fog lifts (don't make big financial decisions)https://www.timberchase.net/

Based on our relationships with people, we grieve differently. Robert Hill shares a tale of two griefs - his stepdad and his dad. Listen as he shares what he learned from each loss and how he surthrived.

In this episode of Surthrival, Stacia explores the unexpectedly profound truth behind the phrase “making lemonade.” What begins as a story involving drawing of a lemon tree at a prayer session unfolds into a powerful reflection on how God transforms the most bitter seasons of grief into new beginnings. Through examples from her own life, past guests, local ministries, and even a chance encounter at a diner, Stacia shows how pain can be reshaped into compassion, purpose, and healing. She also shares the story behind the upcoming Creative Healing Retreat, a space designed for women longing to move from surviving to rebuilding with creativity, community, and intention. This is an episode for anyone feeling stuck as a reminder that with openness and courage, bitter experiences can truly be transformed into something nourishing and life-giving. To learn more about the Creative Healing Retreat, visit carriepittman.com/retreats.Sponsored by: Lisa Worley of Anchored Life - https://anchoredlife.services

In this episode, Stacia continues the Remembrance series with Author Beth Miller for a powerful conversation on grief, gratitude, and the tension that exists between the two. Together, they explore the dangers of spiritual bypassing, the “both/and” reality of healing, and the profound metaphor of "black fire" and "white fire". Beth shares her own experiences with loss, which led her to write the book What Loss Can Teach Us, a novel that explores the ways grief can expand us rather than diminish us. Today's Guest: Beth MillerSponsored by: Kim Marie Carter in memory of her father, Jack Carter

Two creative theologians dive deep into The Last Supper (Communion) as it relates to grief and remembering. We learn a new term, anamnesis, which means calling to mind to look toward the future.Today's Guest(s): Dr. Shaun King, Senior Pastor, John’s Creek Baptist Church, Alpharetta, GA & Milton Brasher-Cunningham, clergy and author, Mount Carmel Congregational Church, Hamden, CTSponsored by: In memory of Jack Carter

n this episode, Charlotte Cushing Cearley recounts the sudden loss of her husband upon their return to the United States after a lifetime spent serving in Africa. Recently, Charlotte invited her two sisters to accompany her on a special birthday trip of remembrance to Africa, revisiting one of the places she and her husband lived and worked. Her story highlights the comfort and healing that come from shared journeys and familial support in times of grief.Sponsored by: In memory of Sandy Cook’s Mom

Guest(s): Madison Gaines Norwood, daughter Stacia and her daughter talk about how they’ve remembered their husband and father. Furthermore, they explore the customs of mourning they experienced while living in China which included “hungry ghosts”.Sponsored by: Chris Winchester In memory of Matt Gaines, beloved husband and father

Meryeum Tunagur-Williams and Angel Torres share their honest and heartfelt thoughts about the things that helped them grieve and the things that didn’t help.Sponsored by: Gina Faletta, State Farm Agent

Rabbi Steven Henkin of Temple Beth El in Birmingham, AL discusses sitting shiva which is a Jewish tradition where mourners gather for seven days after a funeral, surrounded by family and friends. This ritual offers comfort, structure, and community support, helping those who grieve to process their loss and begin healing together.Sponsored by: Kim Lefelar (best friend) in honor of her mom, Marlene Burns

Today's guest: Chris O'Rear, an ordained minister, licensed clinical pastoral therapist, shares practical tips that help you form stronger friendships, navigate conflicts and support loved ones through tough times.Sponsored by Chris Winchester, best boss, in honor of my husband, Matt Gaines.

New Series, New Episode, New Guest, Take a listen!

Join guest Nell and T. MarieSponsored by the Alabama Nurses Association

Panel Discussion with Kathy Boswell, Ernest Kenty and Kim LefelarSponsored by: John and Louise Beard support of the Alabama Nurses Foundation

Panel discussion with David George and Susan HoskinsSponsored by John and Louise Beard in support of the Alabama Nurses Foundation

Panel Discussion with David George and Susan HoskinsSponsored by John and Louise Beard in Support of the Alabama Nurses Foundation

Panel Discussion with Chris Blackerby, Audrey Thorpe and Janice WilliamsBrought to you by: John and Louise Beard in support of the Alabama NursesFoundation

Panel Discussion with Chris Blackerby, Audrey Thorpe and Janice WilliamsBrought to you by: John and Louise Beard in support of the Alabama NursesFoundation

Check out the intro to my brand new series on Caregiving! You can grab an understanding on caregiving, resources and more. Take a listen!

Mental Health Matters!

Let's talk prevention!

Join Stacia, your host , as she does a deep dive into Regret, Remorse and Shame. Take a listen!

It's time to express!

Join Host: Stacia Gaines and Guest: Clarissa Kenty from iCu Media as they chat about the importance of expressing yourself

We are human and we all have emotions. Learning the importance of name and identifying them allows you to take ownership of your emotions and feel them accordingly. Take a listen as I name and identify them!

My personal acquaintance with grief. What it did to me and for me! Take a listen!

Check out Stacia Gaines with producer Clarissa Lester-Kenty owner of iCu Media as they chat about the humble beginnings of THE SURTHRIVAL PODCAST. Come join the convo!

Hi, I'm Stacia! So good to have you here. My grief journey began in 2023 when my husband of 34 years died by his own hand. Grief is painful and difficult, but healing is possible. We will likely not be completely healed. Scars will remain. Sharing with others has been therapeutic for me. ​I am a widow now, but I refuse to let this singular term define me. I am the mother of two adult children and three grandchildren. I love to read, travel and explore the natural world.