Table Read: the podcast

It's the passionate tale of a Soft Rock Duo who fail so hard at doing the thing they love whilst succeeding so much at becoming Jingle Writing Dynamos, and then losing each other to the sweaty teats of Lady Fortune. Soft Rock? Topless Ladies Water Balloon Fighting? Ostrich Riding? A Child Wearing Only Belts As Clothing? Sweden? Japanese Hard Rocking? Did I hear you say this episode has all those things AND a dude crapping his pants in front of ladies who want his balls? I'm in. Let's snuggle up to the radio and listen to only this podcast. Forever. Featuring Adam Ribota, Ashley Gannon, and Tiffany Lynn. And Gabe Martinez.   This is a podcast about screenwriting, Hollywood, entertainment, films, and writing. Sort of.

It's the most, spookiest time of the year in Willowknob , CT. PROM NIGHT! What happens when a mystical fog attacks the most wholesome town on planet earth? On prom night? Nothing? Oh. But what if that fog turned people into sex-crazed monsters? This is that story. It was originally told over three episodes in season 1 of Table Read, but in honor of All Harlow's Eve (Halloween), we're releasing them as one, REMASTERED, episode.  Snuggle up and get cozy with someone whom you are comfortable being naked around.   Featuring Adam Ribota, Malachi Kies, and Katy P. Also; explosions, action, drama, teens, zombies, sex, murder, cars, Penelope Cruz, firearms, and witchcraft. Don't forget that our show is all about making rad scripts come to life... this is a particularly well written screenplay.

The internet tried to ban this daring yet laughable portrayal of Dutch culture and we said NO! That's right, Dragon Children was originally our 13th episode and it was taken down for some reason. We brought it back in all its glory, complete with a tell-all intro from series creator, Gabe Martinez. Dragon Children is Holland's most beloved and longest running television program about two old men who periodically don children's dragon costumes and fight crime. It's gritty, sexy, and full of heat. Quit your job right now and listen to this episode!   Starring Luke Deese, Josh Ault, and Kylee Fernandez.

Everyone but Coach gets to be in this one! Winston buys a hat and glasses at an estate sale and is immediately welcomed into the inner circle of Los Angeles' wealthy elite. Jess has a hard time with a difficult student, while Nick and Schmidt are belligerent (Nick) and Jewish (Schmidt)! Actors like Zooey Deschanel, Max Greenfield, Jake Johnson, and Lamorne Morris would say something like "GREAT EPISODE!" or "It's a must-hear and that's for sure!" If you had money on the fact that the New Girl (Jess) does NOT die, then you are stupid and you will soon be broke. Featuring: Adam Ribota, Tiffany Lynn, Ashley Gannon, and Gabe Martinez  

A found footage horror flick for your EARS?! Yes, friends! It's our very first, entirely serious episode of Table Read where we perform a straight-up horror script. Kinda. It starts funny and has creepy moments until? BAM! You get hit with spookiness and college students being killed by monsters. Did we say monsters? Yes. Enjoy! Featuring the vocal talents of Kim Reed, Andy Diaz and Jonathan Cooke!

Teens! Ghosts! Roller Blades! That's right! We got most of the cast of Blader High, America's finest web series, together to perform the first FIVE episodes of Season Two before they're even filmed! In the first of the five episodes featured in our show, we learn that all the kids are DEAD!?! And it only gets weirder from there. Tiny men, Amy Winehouse, Race car mayhem, Camping, Sports and MORE! This episode has it all. If you are a screenwriter or want to be one, or want to learn more about scripts or Hollywood, or the business of making totally normal television or film shows then this episode and podcast in general are for you! Featuring Adam Ribota, Alana Cheuvront, Kim Reed, James Stebick, Graham Beightol, J.Q. Hammer, Andy Diaz and Gabe Martinez.

One Hundred Episodes of Table Read! That's right! Where did the other 60-something go? Shut up dude! JJ Abrams hosts this carnival of superstars! Taylor Swift! Mark Hamill! Kurt Russell! Donald Sutherland? Tim Allen! Join them as they discuss the projects they are most excited about for 2016 and share advice for aspiring Hollywood bozos everywhere! Featuring James Stebick, Alana Cheuvront, Adam Ribota, Graham Beightol, Andy Diaz, and Gabe Martinez.

Season Three! We're back after a long break and we got you something sexy- a prime time soap in the vein of THE GOOD WIFE, SCANDAL, REVENGE, TYLER PERRY'S WHATEVER, and so on. Filth. Sex. Wealth. is all about the most powerful people on earth and how they use their sexy money filth to be better than the rest of us. In this episode, you'll hear businessmen make deals, cowboy vampires make love, mexican oil-rig workers die, and language so colorful that you can throw your magic markers away forever! Starring Adam Ribota, Graham Beightol, Alana Cheuvront, JQ Hammer and Gabe Martinez!

EPISODE 7 hits theaters in ONE WEEK, but just a year ago, we released the original draft of the script on our show. In celebration of JJ and the rest, Table Read has cut all the gabbing and sandwiched part 1 and part 2 of our STAR WARS read together for you! Before you go see THE FORCE AWAKENS, listen to RESURGENCE OF DARKNESS, JJ's first draft of Episode VII. Featuring Adam Ribota, Kylie Fernandez, Tiffany Lynn, Graham Beightol, & Jordan Olds!

JOSS WHEDON?! On TABLE READ?! Yup. He hosts this very special episode of Table Read: the podcast where we perform his early draft of AVENGERS, Age of Ultron. The whole gang is in the studio; Black Widow, The HULK, Captain America, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Samuel L. Jackson, a Mogwai, Witchblade, Anthony Kiedis, HE-MAN and the rest. Who will end up with the Infinity Gauntlet? Will Iron Man get over his deep, dark fear of Ultron? How hot can a Natalie Portman & Scarlett Johansson love scene be? The answers to all these questions and more are revealed in this SUPER EPISODE! Stick around after the read to hear a fascinating Q&A with the writer/director of AVENGERS, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and OTHER THINGS! Starring Adam Ribota, Tiffany Lynn, James Stebick, Katie P., Graham Beightol, Andy Diaz and Joss Whedon.

ZOMBIES! Everywhere! We were invited to co-write the SERIES FINALE of the WALKING DEAD for AMC. It's not going to happen for 5 more seasons but we thought it would be fun to share with you, now that this current season has concluded. "Get busy livin'" is the name of this final episode of THE WALKING DEAD and we couldn't be more proud to be involved. Carl, Rick, Daryl and the rest are up to their ears in zombies and might just find a way out, for good! With the help of some truly wonderful friends (listen to hear who shows up!), the WALKING DEAD gang might finally get cozy. Starring: Adam Ribota, Katie P., Tiffany Lynn, and Andrew Diaz!

AMC's THE WALKING DEAD is a great show and it's going to end! Not soon but after 11 seasons? You bet. This is a teaser to our EXCLUSIVE, WALKING DEAD SERIES FINALE next week.

When the baddest man in the universe is recruited to recover the deadliest weapon ever created, you better believe everyone will die. In SPACE! Hear it before it airs on the SIFI Network! Adventure Squad is essentially the sequel to FIREFLY without that asshole, Nathan Fillion running around like a damn ape everywhere. Featuring the wonderful Andrew Diaz, James Stebick, Kylee Fernandez and Luke Deese.

Remember the greatest comedy of all time? Yeah, that one. FRIENDS was the best show on television and now it's BACK. Ross is still a mumbly douche, Rachel is killed in the first two minutes, Joey and Chandler are a mess with their gay wedding just days away and Monica and Phoebe dress like astronauts while torching a New York department store! It's just how you remember it, except funny. Featuring Beau McFarland, Alana Cheuvront & Josh Ault

After just two, scorching episodes we decided it was time to turn up the heat ONE THOUSAND PERCENT and release a show featuring some of the best clips (many yet to come) of Season Two! Come for the clips and stay for the hilarious show wrapped around them! Featuring the Ghost of Abe Lincoln, Rap Icon DJ DIABEATZ, Songstress turned Journalist Berb MpKertney and everyone's favorite iPhone APP GREGORY!

"The Murdering of M. Cartwright" is a first for Table Read; a serious episode?! Not completely but as serious an episode as you can ever hope to hear on this show. We liked most of the 20 minutes we saw of TRUE DETECTIVE and felt it provided plenty of inspiration to help us create our own, gritty detective show. This episode has it all- magic, swamps, baseball, etc. Featuring the magical Graham Beightol, Tiffany Lynn and JaDarrel Belser. www.TableReadPodcast.com

SEASON TWO IS HERE! After a long break, Table Read: the podcast is back and brings you ointment for that itch you got overseas. We've never seen a single episode of GAME OF THRONES so when a competing network asked us to create a complete knock-off of the series for them, we JUMPED at the opportunity. Violent, power-murders? Sexy nudity that results in sex? English Accents? Dragons in wheelchairs? Yes to all that AND more! Featuring Adam Ribota, Andrew Long and Alana Cheuvront TableReadPodcast.com

Season One of Table Read comes to a fabulous end with the conclusion of STAR WARS, Episode 7. Darth Porkins is running wild throughout the galaxy while Luke looks for love, Lando is black and Han deals with the harsh reality that his gross wife, Leia, is super burnt from the fires on Endor. If you like things that are great, then this episode is for you. Starring Adam Ribota, Tiffany Lynn, Jordan Olds, Graham Beightol and Kylee Fernandez.

The wait is OVER! We got a hold of JJ Abrams' 1st draft of STAR WARS Episode VII: Resurgence of Darkness and made it better! Chewy, Luke, Lando, R2- they're all back in this exciting new adventure. 20 years after the defeat of the Empire, young Gimbo Porkins (son of RED SIX Porkins) is visited by a dark force and ultimately given powers to allow the boy to become DARTH PORKINS! Darth has a score to settle with the rebels who got his dad killed and it's up to Luke and Han to stop the fat dummy in his tracks. Featuring an all-star lineup: Adam Ribota, Graham Beightol, Kylee Fernandez, Jordan Olds and Tiffany Lynn!

A small episode that packs a BIG punch! Come for the shortest script we've ever read and stay for the HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT from SUPER 8 director, J. J. Abrams!

Love. Spelling. A Robotic Police Officer. Half Bird, Half Men Soldiers Who Fly Around and CRAP?! YES! This story has all that and MORE! Tune in to hear the legend of the greatest spelling bee champion ever, Dennis Templeton and his journey into the innermost circles of spelling wonderdom... then hold on as the story goes completely bonkers. Starring Luke Dees & Tiffany Lynn!

It's Christmas time! Snuggle up with our first ever ROM-COM about an elf and a lady reindeer who fall in love... AT THE NORTH POLE! Then, listen to a super-short script for a show we made that's about teens on an island! WOOT! Get all buttery and warm with ADAM RIBOTA & KATIE P!

Carl Winslow and associates trade their ho-hum lives in the windy apple for the cool breezes and hot, Latin rhythms of lady Miami. When Carl's partner is killed on his first day on the beat, he goes to a deep, dark place and slaps everything that moves (including his wife!) until justice is served. Urkel. Laura. Eddie. The Grandma. Others. The whole gang is there with one AMAZING new edition: VATO JEFF GOLDBLUM! You loved him in Jurassic Park and The Fly so why not LOVE him on Table Read?! Jeff Fisher's original creation, Vato Jeff Goldblum will have you not just pissing your pants from laughter but pissing your friend's pants because he's really that funny. Featuring the vocal talents of Kylee Fernandez, Jordan Olds, Will Kindrick & Danny Lacy!

In the Jamaican badlands, there's a building... throw in multi-dimensional travel, robot children and sexy John Tesh music and you get THE OUTPOST! As if the story weren't intriguing enough, there's also a pterodactyl that may or may not play the bass. Featuring one half of the OC Improv group, Cherry Spitz; Blaire Wayland, James Stebick, Graham Beightol & Kat Shea!

Technically our 20th Episode, so it's technically a celebration! We have a panel of moderators from the Associated Press, the Huffington Post and La Opinion weigh in on some of their favorite moments from the show so far. This show is perfect for those of you who've been nervous to give us a listen and even MORE perfect for those of you who listen all the time! Featuring over 20 different performers!

Remember when teen dramas lived on the WB network? The stars weren't attractive but the stories were compelling. Safe Harbor was commissioned by Miss Alicia Silverstone in 2003 as what would have been the last, real teen drama. Joshie Harbor and his pals deal with true-to-life issues like teen pregnancy, heartbreak and roller rink parties in this exciting pilot. Starring Tiffany Lynn, Adam Ribota of Drown The Witness and exercise guru Charles Brookes.

Travel back to the old west then get in a hot air balloon and travel somewhere else with JOHNNY TORNADO; 9 year old samurai and man on a mission. What kind of mission? One where a trusty talking rabbit named Pachakoo and early American master of the macabre, Edgar Allen Poe can sit right next to him and solve mysteries... I suppose. Featuring the vocal talents of Craig Windes, Adam Ribota, Loraine Singleton & Charmis Blurnstrum (the inventor of SCUBA for dogs).

The erotic conclusion? No, just the regular conclusion. Unless you find hard-hitting topics such as racial tension, vampire worship and the hatred of George Lucas to be erotic. The Indians made it to Canada but is it all they thought it would be? Young Cliff Huxtable journeys into the great, white north to find and claim his love. Also? Dracula shows up at least once. Featuring the hilarious Jordan Olds, Kc Wayland and Katie P.

Before there were Indian Reservations, before the Trail of Tears, Before Jack Daniels there was... BEFORE THANKSGIVING: Indians in Canada and Love on the Plains. A historical account of the first Native American migration into Canada that can be summed up like this: Forbidden Love (check). Talking Animal Spirit Guides (check). Crystal Meth (check mate). Featuring the amazing talents of Jordan Olds and Kc Wayland... and also fan of the show, Katie P!

Originally written for the UK's Channel 4, Spider Gents is a spooky show about 4 socialites who get into mischief in an abandoned farm house only to find themselves eventually murdered by two HUGE spiders. Spoiler Alert? Everyone dies. Featuring the vocal talents of Tiffany Lynn and Josh Ault.

The town of Willowknob is under attack! A fog that makes people hump! Five-Star Generals and military folks around every corner! Ghost children and one mean swamp witch! How will boyish teens Wink and Jimmy save the day? You'll just have to listen to this MEGA EPISODE and discover the end for yourself. Featuring the AMAZING Katie P, Malachi Kies & Adam Ribota.

What if zombies wanted to have sex with you? The town of Willowknob is in trouble and it's up to the most wonderful assortment of characters to save it. Taking place where Episode 11 left off and prepping you for the POWERFUL conclusion / Episode 12, this bonus teaser CAN'T BE MISSED!

Set in the peaceful Connecticut township of Willowknob, on the very day of prom night, a mysterious fog blankets the town, causing all who come in contact with her to frantically intercourse their neighbor… unto death! It's sexy teens, 5-Star Generals and WASPs as far as the eye can hear. Featuring Adam Ribota, Malachi Kies and lucky listener Katie P. Spooky, Halloween, Chilling, Terror, Teens, Fog, Mist, Stephen King, Del Toro, Actors, Writing, Writer, Entertainment, Script, Screenplay, Screen Writing, TV, Film, Hollywood, WASP, Prom, How-to, Break-up, Goose Box.

A blizzard rages throughout a remote stretch of American countryside, trapping nine strangers in a cafe. In a Twilight Zone-esq twist, the final guest to arrive holds a terrible secret that begs to be revealed before dawn. Featuring an amazing trio of fine artists; Abi Bowden, Colt Bowden & Tiffany Lynn. Twilight Zone, Cafe, Spooky, The Moon, Space, Rod Serling, Cheese, Skiing, Table Read, ColtBowden, AbiBowden, TiffanyLynn, Writing, Writer, Screenplay, Screenwriting, Entertainment, TV, Film, Movies, Halloween, Voice Actors, Suspense, Balki, Aliens, Rad.

Based on an original story by Braun Feldman, Karl Weinjob and Gabe Martinez, this episode is actually called Hand Job Time Machine. Actress Amy Adams travels back in time, giving hand jobs to key players in American history in order to change the future for her benefit. Her nemesis, the swarthy Mila Kunis greets her at every turn until they ultimately collide for one final showdown. Featuring Tiffany Lynn and Chris Young. Amy Adams, Mila Kunis, Back to the Future, McFly, The Fighter, Black Swan, Family Guy, MLK, Lincoln, History, America, Rad.

Seth is a young man about to start his freshman year at a new school, in a new town. It's a big city and some things are pretty different from life in Alaska; namely? Monsters. That's right! Monsters have started to become members of civilized society and a simple backwoods kid like Seth is loosing his cookies at the very sight of them. Thankfully, he meets Jill, an adorable little tomboy who takes a shine to him and shows him the ropes. Featuring the vocal talents of YO GABBA GABBA's finest: Ben Schultz, Adam Deibert, Mossi Watene and fan favorite, Kylee Fernandez. First Day of School, Monster, Alaska, GABBA, Germans, Jack Nicholson, Joker, Table Read, Tableread, Gabe Martinez, Snake Man, Snakemen, Japanese Interment Camps, MGMT, USC, UCLA, Writing, Writer, Hollywood, Entertainment, Screenwriting, Screenplay.

A couple fights and loves and fights again. Join two beautiful, exuberant American lovers on their 12-hour romp through relationship hell and back again. There are more unique one-liners crammed into this 30-minute play than all of Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's pieces, combined. Originally performed at the famed Harold Fern Theatre in New York, this bold piece is adapted from the works of T.S. Elliot and the kid who was in Never Ending Story. Featuring the vocal talents of Tiffany Lynn and Andrew Long. Table Read, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Counseling, 1950, Jackie Gleeson, Fighting, Love, Lovers, Entertainment, Drama, Comedy, Tiffany Lynn, Andrew Long, Gabe Martinez, Writer, Script, Screenwriting, One-act Play, Worms.

In this week's thrilling conclusion, every question will be answered and every answer will be questioned. Still on the Con Boat, Cameron Poe (undercover as Loco Cabron) finds himself fighting against time to stop a nuclear missile from connecting with the White House, save the Crown Jewels for the Queen Mum and somehow make it home in time for his son's burfday. Cameron loses an arm, kills 30-45 prisoners, kills 100-200 civilians and rides a motorcycle up the side of a building while shooting not one but two machine guns. If you think you can handle the greatest thing you've ever heard and also the best thing ever recorded, this episode is for you. Featuring Jill Jordan, Mossi Watene, Craig Windes and Gabe Casdorph. Con Air 2, CONAIR, Con Boat, Netflix, YO GABBA GABBA, SHINE America, Minute to Win It, BYUTV, Nicolas Cage, NicCage, Boobs, The Queen, Queen Mum, History, Mississippi, Shot Guns, Glowing Triangle, Falcon Hair, My hair is a bird.

Cameron Poe is at it again! After accidentally killing 3 men (for the second time), Cameron finds himself taking another trip to the big house. When his stretch ends, he takes a ride down the Mississippi on the meanest slow-moving prison transport riverboat in all the world: The CON BOAT. Just one hour in and Poe finds himself in the middle of not only a prisoner uprising but an international jewel heist, under cover makeover transforming him into a Mexican and potential nuclear holocaust! How will "Loco Cabron" save the day? Nicolas Cage can do anything. Listen to part one this week and the conclusion next week. It's the greatest thing you'll ever hear. Featuring the vocal talents of Jill Jordan, Craig Windes, Mossi Watene and Gabe Casdorph. Con Air 2, Con Boat, Netflix, YO GABBA GABBA, SHINE America, BYU TV, Nicolas Cage, Crown Jewels.

If you liked or hated Paul Feig's Freaks and Geeks then you'll love this incredibly R-rated ​high school sitcom! In this very special pilot, we join teenager Brian Cerna and his group heavy metal/burnout friends on their quest for premarital sex, driver's licenses and intoxication. Brian finds himself in hot water when he chooses to film his favorite cheerleader's backside instead of the finer points of the Spirit Assembly. Featuring the vocal talents of Gabe Casdorph, Kylee Fernandez and Members of Drown The Witness; Malachi Kies and Chris Young!​

Listen in on the shenanigans of the finest after-school activity providers; the team at Rad Science. Severe emotional and psycological disorders plague nearly everyone in the company but that won't stop them from entertaining children with science and profanity. Will the gang find a way to keep the business afloat? How about finding that new person with just the right spark? Tune in to hear glass go into the eyes of little kids! Starring Kylee Fernandez, Andrew Long and Michael Montes.

All of your favorite characters are back in this gritty, reimagining of the original series. Zack's cocaine-infused brownies become the talk of the town on the eve of the big bake sale but one big bummer sets in when the gang all have to crank out 5,000 in just 48 hours... or else they can kiss graduation, prom and life as they know it GOODBYE! Starring Luke Deese, Kylee Fernandez, Andy Diaz & Adam Ribota

A sexually and racially charged, live-action version of an ADVENTURE TIME-esq series set in Northern California. Fawn's best friend and fish, David Bowie dies unexpectedly. Hearkening the council of her gypsy neighbor, the girl journeys into the kingdom of Oakland to capture black people tears in order to save her fish.Starring Bryce Clark, Dylan Meyer, Justin Lyon and Eric Katz.