Tea Time with Elsa

Chatting about: Being Present or Future Minded… In this episode we talk about the value of thinking ahead a few steps for the benefit of relationships. This is in contrast with the popular idea of being fully present. I believe being fully present is a good default mode to fall into when our systems are tired and need rest, however, being future minded allows us to consider the needs of others above and beyond our own instincts. Originally aired on: March 3rd, 2026 

Chatting about: Exploring A Third Option… In this episode we talk about how polarized training horses tends to be. Between giving the horse no direction, and the need to establish consequences if the horse does not follow human direction. A third option can feel impossible unless you truly take time. This is what Freedom Based Training® is aimed at. Can we know the horses well enough to shape their behaviors and habits toward a better quality of life together? Without pushing for a speed of change that requires consequences to provide direction? This is a way of life with horses I love more than anything else. Originally aired on: March 5th, 2026

Chatting about: Noticing the Absence… In this episode we talk about how easy it is for the brain to lock onto the presence of threats or difficulties and the absence of well being. When we challenge ourselves to look for the absence of difficulty instead it can be a slippery idea to grasp. This ability to notice the absence of difficulty and the presence of well being is the greatest predictor of success in training horses. Originally aired on: February 18th, 2026

Chatting about: Endings and Beginnings… In this episode we talk about Atlas. We talk about saying goodbye to horses in the most graceful way possible. We talk about change and how to prepare for moments of change we may feel less than ready for. Originally aired on: February 10th, 2026

Chatting about: Different Kinds Of Difficult…… In this episode we talk about the importance of contrast in training. In order for horses to choose something, it must be in comparison better than some other option. How do we include the idea of something difficult in our training, in a way that feels reasonable to the horse we are working with? Originally aired on: February 3rd, 2026

Chatting about: When to slow training down… In this episode we talk about when we might slow training down and when we might speed training up. There is a benefit to every option, when applied at the right time. Originally aired on: January 26th, 2026

Chatting about: Giving To The Relationship Or Extracting From The Relationship …… In this episode we talk about the difference in training styles when we think about giving to the relationship in ways and at times that the horse might choose. There are certainly times when it is most appropriate to extract desired behaviors from the relationship for the benefit of everyone involved, and the good habits that can be built through practice. My favorite part though, is the giving. Originally aired on: January 21st, 2025

Chatting about: Why do we train the Sensory System?… In this episode we talk about the reasons why I train the way I do. There are both benefits and difficulties associated with every training pattern. I believe a sensory first approach has the benefits I look for in a relationship with horses. Originally aired on: January 13th, 2026

Chatting about: Retained Juvenile Behaviors… In this episode we talk about a way to look at behavior in our horses that may seem inappropriate. When we look at it as a maturity level issue, it gives us so much grace to help our horses and work with them. Both of us on the same team working toward a better quality of life for everyone involved. Originally aired on: January 6th, 2026

Chatting about: Pressure and Release in the Real World… In this episode we talk about how inevitable pressure and release are in life and how we might use the cycles of internal pressure and release a horse naturally feels to shape their habits and patterns. While we can artificially apply pressure and release, the most important part is being able to read what it is the horse is feeling from moment to moment. Then using that understanding to improve a horse’s quality of life with us. Originally aired on: December 30th, 2025

Chatting about: Fireworks… In this episode we talk about how we might prepare horses for extreme events such as the Fireworks that often come along with New Year’s celebrations. Freedom Based Training is not about solving problems that are currently occurring, but instead preparing the horse from a sensory strength view point. When their sensory system is strong and adaptive, horses are amazingly capable of thriving in a wide variety of situations. Originally aired on: December 23rd, 2025

Chatting about: Rest and Freeze… In this episode we talk about how to see rest and freeze on a spectrum. Rest being essential for horses to process the information they have taken in through their sensory systems. Freeze as a type of rest where they are trying to process information taken in, but ultimately struggle to make sense of it. The only way we know for sure which it is, is by noticing if the horse comes out of it in a cooperative way or a defensive way. The more often we observe our horses in safe areas of freedom, the better we learn to read their unique body language that can tell us what is happening for them internally.  Originally aired on: December 17h, 2021

Chatting about: Arcs, turns, and intersecting lines… In this episode we talk about the social strategies of horses working together in herds. What do they want from each other when they approach in a direct line? Why do some get corrected all the time and others don’t? How do we use this information to walk into a herd with the awareness that can replace pressure. How do we share that awareness with our horse friends so they need less and less pressure from each other as well? Tea Time Descriptions  Originally aired on: December 10th, 2025

Chatting about: Stacking the Wins! In this episode we talk about noticing the quality of each interaction we have with our horse. When we adjust the level of difficulty correctly for the horse on that day, in that environment, then the horse is able to feel like their wins stack up from moment to moment. Once we have stacked enough wins we can start asking the horse to stretch a bit more or try to do a bit better than usual (emotionally, mentally or physically). Stacking the wins is usually an emotional experience that builds the foundation for any challenges that may follow. Originally aired on: December 3rd, 2025

Chatting about: Training Obedience versus Training Interest… In this episode we talk about how we might look at training on a spectrum between obedience and interest in the horse. While we can train to have both in the horse, we probably have to prioritize one or the other in each moment of practice. Each side of the spectrum comes with different benefits and challenges. Originally aired on: November 18th, 2025

Chatting about: The 13th Rabbit… In this episode we talk about the story of the thirteenth rabbit and how anxiety, or fear, or anger stacks if we don’t notice it and take the time to allow a horse to fully process it. Not everything needs to be fully processed as it happens, but it is good if we know our horses and how much stacking they can handle before we need to take time for processing. Originally aired on: November 12th, 2025

Chatting about: Associations… In this episode we talk about building positive associations in horses. The tendency is to wait for something to go wrong, the horse to feel overwhelmed, and then ask how to solve the problem. This is of course something we can do, but it is so much better if we build positive associations with novelty and change before we put them in new situations. Studying what we can do right ahead of time, so that things don’t go wrong later is a beautiful art to play with. Originally aired on: November 5th, 2025

Chatting about: Optimism and Pessimism… In this episode we talk about the factors that make a horse more optimistic or more pessimistic. Once we can see the ingredients that go into developing optimism we can improve a horse’s quality of life. Originally aired on: October 10th, 2025

Chatting about: Sensitization, Desensitization, Flooding and Learned Helplessness…   In this episode we look at the spectrum of possibilities we have when helping horses live well in a human world. Seeing possibilities as options with positive and negative aspects helps us to make the best decisions for each horse in each moment. While most of us will not choose the more extreme options of training, it is good to be aware of what they are.   Originally aired on: October 21st, 2025

Chatting about: Watching…   In this episode I talk about the power of watching our horses, and what exactly it is that I am watching for. There is so much to learn before we attempt to interact well with horses. When we understand each one as an individual while also seeing them part of a bigger environment, we then can become the partner they need.   Originally aired on: October 14th, 2025

Chatting about: Escalating Pressure… In this episode I talk about the different ways we can see and understand escalating pressure. While I may personally choose the most gentle types of pressure I can find, I appreciate there are interesting pros and cons to every choice we make in our relationships with horses. Originally aired on: October 7th, 2025

Chatting about: Less Is More… In this episode I share a very personal growth experience with my herd. I am often torn between satisfying the public expectation of proving I can teach horses to do many normal domestic horse tasks with less pressure than most, and my desire to do less in favor of learning more from the horses. We can replace dominance with awareness if we are willing to take the time to do so. When my desire to do less and learn more wins out over meeting public expectations, the results are often better than I could ever expect. Originally aired on: September 30th, 2025

Chatting about: What Is A Challenge… In this episode we talk about an exercise I do with horses to figure out what may or may not feel like a challenge for them in the environment they are in. Then when we know where the edges of their comfort zone are, how we might stretch them in a way the horse is interested in developing.  Originally aired on: September 23rd, 2025

Chatting about: The Pros and Cons of Distraction… In this episode we talk about why and when I why I teach distraction as a good choice in the relationships with horses. Trainers who have tools to keep a horse from leaving them will sometimes choose to wait through a cycle of concern in the horse, allowing it to pass naturally. Without tools we may, or may not, be able to do that successfully. Practicing distraction before we need it builds the skill, then knowing our horse well enough allows us to use that skill when it is needed. While also allowing our horse time to self regulate when that is possible. Originally aired on: September 16th, 2025

Chatting about: Chatting about: Timing, Technique and Pressure… In this episode we talk about the key factors horse trainers focus on and how we might think about it differently. Originally aired on: September 9th, 2025

Chatting about: Do The Ends Justify The Means… In this episode we talk about the dilemma that all of us face when considering the amount of pressure it might, or might not, be reasonable to put on horses toward an end goal.  Originally aired on: August 12th, 2025

Chatting about: Tell me how you feel… In this episode, we talk about different ways to measure progress with our horses. It is easy to measure progress by taking notice of the tasks that can be accomplished, it is more nuanced and more interesting to me to measure progress by asking horses how they feel in the pauses between activities. Originally aired on: June 17th, 2025

Chatting about: Solving for Better… In this episode, we talk about how we can see an issue that needs to be solved and cut it in half, and in half again until the part we are working on feels set up for success. I recently had some new revelations about how this applies to horses who struggle with the feeling of touch, as well as how it applies to horses who need greater development in either self-regulation or co-regulation.  Originally aired on: May 27th, 2025

Chatting about: “Emotional Cycles”… In this episode, we talk about seeing the emotional cycles of a horse from moment to moment and using that awareness to better time our active and passive moments. First we watch the horse and learn about their cycles. Then we use our active and passive moments to prove to the horse that we understand them. Then we start timing our active and passive moments better to leave the horse wanting more of the right things and less of the wrong things. (The way I think of “right things” is in general anything that makes the horse feel better and more cooperative and “wrong things” is in general anything that makes the horse feel worse and less cooperative.) Originally aired on: May 6th, 2025

Chatting about: Fear in Horses… In this episode, we talk about understanding a horse’s fear in a categorical way. Their responses will be in either Fight or Flight and they will tend to be in reaction to one of four elements: movement, touch, approach, or sound. Once we can see a horse’s tendencies categorically, we can more easily break down the fear into bite sized pieces that they can learn about, growing their confidence incrementally. Originally aired on: April 30th, 2025

Chatting about: Non-Negotiables In this episode, we talk about the Non-Negotiable factor of space between partners if either one feels unsafe. If we cannot create space between partners in the moments that challenge safety we will need to consider using, more pressure, dominant training, or the presence of a fence between horse and human. Freedom of choice comes after we can trust the basic elements of acting safe around each other. Originally aired on: April 22nd, 2025

Chatting about: “Balanced Gratitude”… In this episode, we talk about how powerful gratitude is in horse training when we use it in a balanced way. Is the glass half full? Half empty? Or Both. I believe that seeing both the good and the difficult aspects of training is profoundly important with our horses. Originally aired on: April 4th, 2025

Chatting about: Pressure, Priorities, and Habits... In this episode, we talk about the balance of priorities with horses and how the development of habits can help us manage the pressure that comes along with life and the juggling of priorities. Originally aired on: March 26th, 2025

Chatting about: Praise… In this episode, we talk about using praise with horses. Why we might choose to, why we might not. The mechanics of developing good associations with praise if you want to use it as part of your relationship and how it might work better for some horses than others. I don’t think there is an absolute for anything with horses, but there are always factors that can be understood better to help us understand our choices. Originally aired on: March 6th, 2025

Chatting about: Enough and Not Enough… In this episode, we talk about a new herd integration with my horses and the timing needed between horses as they learn about each other’s likes and dislikes. Emotional training depends on the understanding of leaving everyone wanting more of the relationship, instead of less of it. I am fascinated by how the emotional training horses do with each other can also be used to nurture the relationship between horses and humans. Originally aired on: February 25th, 2025

Chatting about: Environment Matters… In this episode, we talk about how much the environment we are in with our horses always impacts our training. There will always be factors in the environment that raise or lower the horse’s stress levels and we are going to do our most profound training at the mid levels of fully aware (instead of resting), but more curious instead of concerned. Originally aired on: February 11th, 2025 Check out the video at: https://youtu.be/gP1pPfnpbKg

Chatting about: Food Aggression… In this episode, we talk about a different perspective around food aggression in horses. Many people believe food aggression is about resource guarding, or trying to get the other horses to leave. These things may be true, but I have noticed a few different things about it that are far more helpful to me in understanding and supporting my horses in living their best lives. Originally aired on: February 4th, 2025

Chatting about: Creativity… In this episode, we talk about creativity and anxiety being on a spectrum and how the two can not exist simultaneously. To be creative is to try things, assess, and try again. When you draw a picture, you draw a line, and then another line, and try one thing after another towards an end goal developed through experimentation. Horses can also learn this pattern of creativity when they try one point of focus, assess how they feel, and then try another point of focus. Experimenting with focus changes toward the end goal of feeling better in connection with others. This is the practice that Freedom Based Training® is based on. Originally aired on: January 1st, 2025

Chatting about: Trusting Yourself… In this episode, we talk about trusting ourselves in horse training. Most everyone has instincts or ideas about what they might want to do next. Then the question comes up, is that a good idea or a bad idea? I suggest you try it and find out. Trust your idea, then verify if the trust was warranted and adjust. This perpetually hones your future instincts to be better. Originally aired on: January 15th, 2025

Chatting about: Time Matters… In this episode, we talk about the time we spend “doing” with our horses versus “being” with our horses. There are so many practical things that need to be done with horses to keep them healthy and happy that sometimes we run out of time for the things that feed the soul. Even taking five minutes of BEING with horses in a way that values how they feel, and how we feel together, and what they are interested in, is worth it. What I found again this week is how much joy I get when there is the luxury of a little more time for being. Time matters, and when we have the good fortune to have a bit more to spend on the things that are important, it makes life so much better. Originally aired on: January 7th, 2025

Chatting about: The Eternal Student… In this episode, we talk about being a student of the horses and about studying patterns, habits, and cycles. When we come at learning from the position of learning with each other more than we are learning from each other the world opens up with possibilities.  Originally aired on: January 1st, 2025

Chatting about: Finding Light, Playing With Darkness… In this episode, we talk about the good and the bad, the light and the dark, the awake and the resting times, and how everything exists on a spectrum. Where we place our attention perpetuates behaviors in our horses, and because of that, we are going to place our attention more on the good, the light, and the awake times. The bad, the dark, and the resting times will also exist, so we may choose to distract a horse or redirect them or play with a horse’s natural need for rest in contrast to its times in light Awakeness. Originally aired on: December 24th, 2024

Chatting about: Using Your Powers For Good Or Evil… In this episode, we talk about the enormous amount of power we have in relationships due to the quantity of small responses we give in a million little moments. Horses tend to remember behaviors that trigger a feeling response in themselves and a change in behavior in others. Horses repeat what they remember. We have so much power to help them remember and then repeat the behaviors that bring a greater quality of life to everyone. Originally aired on: December 18th, 2024

Chatting about: A Question Worth Asking… In this episode, we talk about how Relationships are made up of questions and answers. Sometimes, it can feel like life is just a series of problems to be solved, but when our patterns of stress come down to a reasonable level, those "problems" become simply questions worth answering. If we organize our questions to our horses in a way that focuses on things important to them first, then they are more open and interested in the kinds of questions humans might find interesting afterward. Originally aired on: December 11th, 2024

Chatting about: How Horses Ask For Connection… In this episode, we talk about how connection is made up of a series of actions showing how well a partner is known and understood. Horses ask for connection (ask to be known and understood better) by breaking harmony, either through push or pull. As humans we can choose to see that push or pull for the ask it is or we can punish the request for connection. The key is in the timing of our action and passivity. When we get the timing right the pushes and pulls become more and more subtle and gentle, creating a healthy relationship. When we get the timing wrong horses will tend to escalate behavior in an attempt to be understood Originally aired on: December 5th, 2024

Chatting about: Ripples of Response... In this episode, we talk about how to see the ripples of response within a herd of horses and how we can become part of these ripples. When a horse changes focus from one thing to another, their herd instinct wants someone else to notice also. If there is no response, there may be an escalation in stress and more obvious push or pull behaviors. When stress goes up the right amount, curiosity increases, when it goes up too high, fight and flight occur. When stress goes down, resting behaviors increase, when they stay low for too long, resting turns into ignoring and raises the stress of any members seeking that ripple of response. Ripples of response are a herd's primary tool for stress regulation. Originally aired on: November 28th, 2024

Chatting about: Attention Replaces Pressure… In this episode, we talk about a horse's need to be recognized as an individual can be used quite practically to replace needs for pressure in the relationship. While we will always use pressure to navigate safety situations, there are many many interactions with horses that do not have a safety component. When we find ways to physically show them we understand them and are paying attention, we find a horse's natural desire to cooperate is stimulated and the need for pressure dissipates. Originally aired on: November 22nd, 2024

Chatting about: Interested in What Is, More Than What You Want… In this episode we talk about stress. What is too much stress, what is not enough stress and how being aware of what is currently being experienced may be more important for a time than trying to change it. Originally aired on: November 14th, 2024

Chatting about: Mental Learning Versus Emotional Learning…… In this episode, we talk about how mental learning and emotional learning are different in horse training. Many people are familiar with mental training which is puzzle solving or figuring out how to do one thing to get another thing. Emotional training is more important when it comes to regulation of the nervous system and developing strong bonds between partners. Emotional training is the practice of using the sensory system (seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting, etc.) without needing to do anything about the information taken in. Practicing taking in information and processing it without needing to take immediate action on it develops the emotional strength needed for reliable social systems. Originally aired on: November 6th, 2024

Chatting about: Building New Habits and Replacing Old Ones…… In this episode, we talk about how new habits become strong (or old habits become replaced) through the use of the nervous system and the resulting memories that become established. The vital key to this is the understanding of repetitions of experience and knowing when to play with another repetition, do something different, or take a rest. Originally aired on: October 29th, 2024