Temporal Culture War

PODCAST · comedy

Temporal Culture War

Mattie Lubchansky and Clayton Ashley figure out what the hell was going on in culture in the early 2000s while they wade through episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise

  1. 44

    Take Phlox's Wife, Please!

    This week, Clayton and Mattie watch Season 2, Episode 14 "Stigma," and talk about the week that was on February 5, 2003. A wild thing happens this week, which is that the episode is pretty good and its A- and B-plots tied together? Also, it turns out that Denobulans have invented HIGHLY hierarchical polyamory.

  2. 43

    Trip and Zho'Kaan, When the Episode Aired

    This week Clayton and Mattie talk about a bunch of what happened over the winter of 2002-2003, and the thirteenth episode of season 2, "Dawn." Trip is stranded on a planet with some guy! We hope he's not extremely weird!get on the TCW Patreon for an extra movie every month!

  3. 42

    PREVIEW: EQUILIBRIUM (2002)

    In the near future, freedom...is a thing of the past.For this month's Bonus episode, we tackle Christian Bale's if-nobody-is-allowed-to-emote-only-criminals-will-have-emotions movie, EQUILIBRIUM! Mattie has an old DVD that did not work but we persevered without its TWO (!) commentary tracks. Hop into your perfectly painted on the inside for some reason Oldsmobile. Let's go.This is a PREVIEW! Head on over to our Patreon to listen to the whole thing. Just a buck a month!

  4. 41

    Too Sexy For This Episode of Star Trek: Enterprise

    This week we're talking about season 2, episode 12 "The Catwalk" and the week of December 18, 2002. Another one that gets soooooo close. They almost know how to write a TV show. We swear.Hey if you happen to be in London, come see Mattie's other podcast do a live show? https://linktr.ee/nogodsnomayors

  5. 40

    Wait, Is That Padma?

    This week we are watching season 2, episode 11 "Precious Cargo" and the week(s) of December 4th and 11th, 2002. The music? BAD! This episode? Bad! Padma Lakshmi? Hot!

  6. 39

    Go To Sleep, Sleepy Girl. It's Sleepytime.

    This we're talking about Season 2, Episode 8 "Vanishing Point," and the week of November 27, 2002! It's sort of a TCW After Dark edition so we are maybe a little insane. It's fine! Just like this episode.

  7. 38

    T'Bottle Episode

    Say it. It feels good to say. This week: Season 2, Episode 9 "Singularity" and the week of November 20, 2002! Weirdly: A good episode of the show Star Trek Enterprise? Weird! Pull up your chair (which needs to be fixed by the way) and get really, really, really, really, really really locked in for some reason.

  8. 37

    PREVIEW: Femme Fatale (2002)

    Is Brian De Palma's Femme Fatale a bad movie? No. Is it a good movie? Harder to say, but it was definitely interesting! So hit up a you're favorite suspicious Russian streaming website before we spoil the twistiest movie of 2002.Slip into something comfortable like maybe an outfit that is 100% made of golden snakes and head over to the TCW patreon at temporalculturewar.com to listen to the whole thing!

  9. 36

    Human After All

    This week Clayton and Mattie talk about episode 8 of season two, "The Communicator" and the week of November 13, 2002! This one has a hilarious Trip subplot for some reason. Hop in! Let's go!Head to temporalculturewar.com to pitch in a few bucks to help us make the show and get a bonus episode every month where we talk about different cursed early-aughts media.

  10. 35

    Eternal Sunshine of the Vulcan Mind

    We are BACK from hiatus!!!! And we're talking about the week of November 6th, 2002, and the seventh episode of season two which is of course called "the seventh."T'Pol shot first.Get on the Patreon for a bonus movie every month!

  11. 34

    PREVIEW: Ghost Ship (2002)

    SEA EVIL!!!!!!! Are you sea-ing evil? Well, we did! We threatened to watch GHOST SHIP (2002) and then we watched GHOST SHIP (2002). We demand you stop thinking about THE ABYSS and instead think about GHOST SHIP,Head over to the Patreon and toss us a measly one dollar! If you'd like to listen to the whole thing.

  12. 33

    Are you Seven Samurai'ing me right now?

    This week, we're talking about season 2, episode 6 "Marauders," and the week of October 30, 2002. Reach for the sky, and hand over the deuterium!!!! Everyone is mean to each other in this one, while the crew tries to do A Bug's Life without all the deception for some reason.

  13. 32

    The Long, Dark, Night of the Sickbay (with Jenna Stoeber)

    This week we are joined by friend of the show and medical lube replacer Jenna Stoeber, and we talk about season 2, episode 5 "A Night in Sickbay," and the week of October 16, 2002. This one is a stinker! But as always OUR episode? Is very, very good.Please follow Jenna on YouTube or Twitch!Toss us a buck on Patreon!

  14. 31

    Warp Plasma Can't Melt Station Beams

    (By the way, this is the NORMAL speed version, sorry for the goof up!)This week we're talking about season 2, episode 4: "Dead Stop," and the week of October 9, 2002. In history, things are beginning to become very bad! However, this episode of Star Trek: Enterprise....is good? And we liked it? What's going on here? What's happening?! AHHHHHHhHHHHHHHop on our Patreon to get a bonus episode every month for just a buck!

  15. 30

    They Never Really Got to Eat Breakfast

    This week we spend a lot of time talking about Jackie Chan's The Tuxedo (2002) but then also Enterprise season 2 episode 3 "Minefield" and the week of October 2, 2002!

  16. 29

    PREVIEW: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

    This week we are here with a BONUS(!) episode that you can listen to on our Patreon. We make Trek Podcast HERSTORY by being the first ones ever to talk about Star Wars. We of course must torture ourselves with a 2002 entry per the scope of our show, but here we are. Grab a tennis ball and do the Meisner Technique at it. Let's go! Head on over to temporalculturewar.com

  17. 28

    Up on Carbon Creek, She Sends Me

    This week we're talking about Season 2 episode 1, "Carbon Creek," and the week of September 25, 2002! Listen to Mattie get really mad thinking about Avril Lavigne for some reason (she's fine with her actually. It's fine.)Join our Patreon to support the show!

  18. 27

    Take My Sky, Please! with Joshua Rivera

    We did it! We made it to season two, where things are, well, not so good still. We've got a loooot of culture to cover between the seasons of the show, so we're joined by pop culture writer extraordinaire Joshua Rivera!This week: Season 2, episode 1: Shockwave, Part II and the week of September 18, 2002!Follow Josh on bluesky here.

  19. 26

    This Weak's Episode

    This week we are talking about the season one FINALE, "Shockwave Part 1" and the week of May 22, 2002. We're here, Mr. Clayton, at the end of all things.Sign up for the Patreon and get some bonus episodes!

  20. 25

    The Magician's Code

    We don't want to alarm anyone, but it's been broken. The norms are dead! The magicians are rioting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Society is over!This week it's episode 25 of season 1: "Two Days and Two Nights," and the week of May 15, 2002!

  21. 24

    PREVIEW: JASON X (2002)

    In this bonus episode, Clayton and Mattie watch the movie that killed the Jason franchise, 2001 (but really 2002)'s JASON X. Star Trek casting synchronicity is abound! And we don't just mean David Cronenberg.Head to https://temporalculturewar.com/ to join our Patreon and listen! Just one(!) dollar a month.

  22. 23

    Luizi's Mansion

    On May 8th, 2002, Star Trek: Enterprise aired not one, but two episodes in a single night. This wasn't a big deal at the time, but decades later, the hosts of a Star Trek: Enterprise podcast that focuses on covering culture released in the same week would have to scramble for something else to talk about.They settled on video games. And Clancy Brown.

  23. 22

    All T'Pologies

    PROTIP: Blast the theme song at 1.5 speed. It rips! Mattie gets to yell about Lagaan! We debut a brand-new STINGER! This week we're talking about Season 1, Episode 23 of Enterprise "Fallen Hero," and the week of May 8, 2002.Buy Mattie's book why not!

  24. 21

    Get Gooey

    Okay. There's a lot of cum talk in this one. But it's not our fault. Blame Season 1, Episode 22 of Enterprise "Vox Sola," and the week of May 1, 2002. This one is like a beautiful gift, wrapped in a big wet clump of saran wrap and snot.Here's that news report we talked about: https://youtu.be/QYbDcIyzP_o?si=Kw1OywsinAaUbHpgAlso regarding the Trees we talk about, Clayton was talking about Aspens.

  25. 20

    Planet Guantanamo

    This week it's episode 21 of season 1: "Detained" and the week of April 24, 2002. We've got THREE weeks of "stuff" to cover this week. Which: turns out a lot! Anyway, Dean Stockwell is in this one, where we find out: not ALL Suliban are evil, you RACIST!Preorder Mattie's book, or come see her on book tour!Remember, it's T'Pol. Like "Polyamory."

  26. 19

    PREVIEW: "Isaac and Ishmael"

    We watched the West Wing 9/11 episode. We did it. This way lies madness....on the Patreon!

  27. 18

    Her Name is T'Pol. Her Name is T'Pol. Her Name is T'Pol.

    This week we're talking about Season 1, Episode 20 "Oasis," and the week of April 3, 2002. Odo is in this one! What else is happening in it? Well, not a lot. Also, are we in the end of "the long 2001"? Fingies crossed!Read Spencer Ackerman's "This Is The Beginning of The End of The 9/11 Era."Catch Mattie on book tour!

  28. 17

    Worthless Gold

    This week, Mattie and Clayton talk about episode 19 of season 1: "ACQUISITION" and the week of March 27, 2002. The news is a bummer but it's an incredible week at the cinema! And also: A good (?) episode (?) of Star Trek Enterprise (???????) Who thought this was even possible. Who could have IMAGINED in their wildest dreams! But despite one plot hole that drove Mattie over the edge: it's true!

  29. 16

    The Least Dangerous Game

    This week, we're talking season 1, episode 18 "Rogue Planet" and the week of March 20, 2001. The episode's a clunker but we get to talk about the "Ice Age" franchise and also FOX's celebrity boxing!

  30. 15

    PREVIEW: The Musketeer (2001)

    For our inaugural entry in 2001 canon of "huh, that movie came out?" we scoured the Internet for the most popular movie of September 7th, 2001, the last weekend before everything changed. This wire-fu retelling of the classic (?) swashbuckling tale of the French King's secret service detail should not have stunts this good, but that's what happens when you hire talent.Sitcoms with puppets are also discussed.Join our Patreon to hear the whole thing!

  31. 14

    My Mind to Your Mind

    This week, Clayton and Mattie watch episode 17 of season 1, "Fusion," and talk about February 27, 2001. Please enter our new and experimental mind meld. With your permission, of course! The news this week is: heavy! The episode is: Fine!You can support Clayton + his comrades here.

  32. 13

    Bottlepisode One

    Where could Enterprise S1E16 "Shuttlepod One" be taking place? Well, we find out, as well as what was going on in the culture the week of February 13, 2002. Pop in your DVD copy of Rollerball and settle in – who knows when rescue could come!

  33. 12

    DO YOU HAVE SHRAN IN YOUR HEART?

    Shran fans rejoice! We discuss the season 1 episode "Shadows of P'Jem" and baby? Daddy (Shran) is home (in the episode!!!) Meanwhile in 2001, the New England Patriots and also their friend Bono are here to make us so mad for some reason.

  34. 11

    BONUS PREVIEW: Galaxy Quest

    Head on over to our Patreon and listen to the whole thing! Just one dollar a month!We take a journey back to the heady days of the late 90s: Stuart Little and Santana are there, history has ended, and we're Blue (Da ba dee da ba di). Oh, and somehow a movie that got hacked to pieces in the edit ended up being one of the greatest spoof movies of all time: Galaxy Quest.

  35. 10

    Don't Show Me the Targ. Please.

    This week, Mattie and Clayton talk about season 1 episode 14 "Sleeping Dogs," in which some Klingons...do something?? while their ship sinks into something or other. Meanwhile, in the year 2001, the "Real West Wing" airs.

  36. 9

    There Should Be a Directive for That

    This week, Clayton and Mattie talk about culture the week of January 23, 2002 and S1E13: Dear Doctor. We talk about the madness that occurred over the holidays at the end of 2001 and into early 2002, and also a PHLOX! heavy ep of Enterprise. Let's go!

  37. 8

    Silent Chewing

    This week, Clayton and Mattie talk about culture the week of January 16, 2002 and S1E12: Silent Enemy. The crew is besieged by a mysterious and dangerous enemy, but more importantly they try to figure out Malcom's favorite food for some reason.Want to support the show? Toss us a couple bucks at temporalculturewar.com

  38. 7

    PREVIEW: Star Trek: First Contact

    (Hey everyone we're BACK from our little hiatus (sorry) with a BONUS EPISODE and our NEW (cheap) Patreon! Head over to Temporalculturewar.com to hear the rest of this one –– we'll be doing a little bonus about once a month, just to defray the costs of hosting etc! )Clayton and Mattie have a nice time talking about 1996's Star Trek: First Contact, the sort of spiritual grandfather of the horrible show that we are subjecting ourselves to on the main feed. In keeping with the spirit of Temporal Culture War, we also discuss 1996, the spiritual grandfather of the horrible year of 2001 in a lot of ways.

  39. 6

    Time is on Our Side

    We delve into some beautiful Dreamcast commercials where planes crash into buildings, Also the Enterprise gang meets the most important man they'll ever met, and the TEMPORAL COLD WAR begins.Like the show? Check out our brand-new Patreon!

  40. 5

    More Like "UNfortunate Episode."

    Mattie and Clayton talk about Thanksgiving 2001 and the beautiful floats (and people) therein. They also dive into Enterprise S1E10, "Fortunate Son" and hang out with some space truckers who love to kidnap a screwed-up looking guy.

  41. 4

    A Guy's Face Gets Ripped Off and That Was Cool At Least

    Mattie and Clayton dive into more of November 2001 and also Enterprise S1e9: "Civilization," yet another slog where they only try to figure out how to fix the damn show. I hope someone with access to time-travel technology is listening and can take our notes to Brannon Braga.

  42. 3

    Angry All the Time

    We talk about S1E8: "Breaking the Ice" and also the deep evil of SHALLOW HAL.

  43. 2

    It's SHRANNING TIME with John deBary

    We are joined by Enterprise Aficionado (and also author and cocktail expert) John deBary to talk about the first (?) pretty good episode of Star Trek: Enterprise featuring our friend and yours, Shran. That's right folks, it's Season 1, Episode 7: "The Andorian Incident."The long-teased first appearance of Shran! It's Shran. Shran! Shran! Shran!

  44. 1

    Oh Say, Can You See?

    In 2001 America, everyone goes insane with patriotism. Meanwhile, aboard the Enterprise NX-01, they're on a dumb planet where everyone is a moron and nothing makes sense and they're eating turtles.

  45. 0

    Get in the Wiggly Ship, Tucker

    A "quiet week" in American history in 2001, and a weirdly okay episode of Enterprise! They go to a wacky ship with kooky air and also maybe shag carpet and also Trip gets pregnant.

  46. -1

    A remembrance of the non-canonical 9/11 West Wing episode

    Yes, that really happened. Also, we talk about Season 1, Episode 4: "Strange New World."

  47. -2

    SCUBA is the "Cellar Door" of Acronyms

    Season 1, Episode 3: "Fight or Flight."Enterprise actually manages to be worse this week, but we have a nice discussion about acronyms thanks to, what else, the Patriot Act.

  48. -3

    "Pilot"

    Clayton and Mattie set off on their Star Trek: Enterprise journey with the crew of the Enterprise NX-01. Captain Archer, the other guy. T'Pol. The other guy as well. And of course, who can forget: What's his name.

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

Mattie Lubchansky and Clayton Ashley figure out what the hell was going on in culture in the early 2000s while they wade through episodes of Star Trek: Enterprise

HOSTED BY

Clayton Ashley and Mattie Lubchansky

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