The Ardent Pursuit

Why do most relationships fail before they even start? Because men are winging it. In this episode, we break down a better way to pursue a woman—without confusion, mixed signals, or unnecessary drama. From how to ask, to what to say, to where to meet, this is your blueprint for leading with clarity, confidence, and intention. Stop guessing. Start leading.

In Part 2, Ben and Keila share the unforgettable story of their relationship built on intentionality, faith, and a fearless pursuit. From living-room conversations and pastoral counsel to international travel, family gatekeepers, and immigration hurdles, their journey redefines modern dating. No ambiguity. No emotional entanglement. No wasted time. Just purpose, community, and a man willing to put everything on the line. This episode challenges passive romance and “wait-and-see” dating culture with a bold alternative: pursue with intentionality, invite accountability, and move forward even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.

In this episode of the Art and Pursuit podcast, we sit down with Ben and Keila, a couple married for 22 years, to hear their incredible story of finding a spouse through faith. They share the raw and honest details of their lives before they met, offering practical dating advice for both men and women. Part one of a two part interview, this episode is full of encouragement and practical wisdom on preparing for marriage, navigating the challenges of singleness, and learning how to build a truly godly relationship founded on trust in God's timing and plan.

Drawing from Scripture, real-life wisdom, and hard truth, we challenge men to stop waiting and start pursuing. The Bible calls men to pursue—yet too many stay comfortable and passive while years slip by. In this episode, we expose the cost of inaction and lay out bold, practical ways to expand your search: changing proximity, leveraging church networks, attending social events, and putting yourself where real women actually exist. No fantasies. No excuses. Take responsibility. Pursue.

Many men will hire a coach for fitness, money, or leadership, but when it comes to dating, men are expected to “just figure it out.” In this episode, we unpack why dating experience doesn’t equal wisdom (“practice makes permanent”), why hormones destroy objectivity, and why independence often masquerades as competence. We're discussing how dating is a recent invention and why community, mentorship, and accountability historically produced healthier outcomes. Want a different outcome than modern dating is offering? Do something different: invite outside counsel early—coach, mentor, pastor, or trusted men—so you don’t navigate the second biggest decision of your life alone.

Too many men wait for certainty before they make a move. This often leads them to be stuck, frustrated, and stagnant year after year. Today we're looking at indecision and the cost of standing still. We unpack why momentum matters more than perfect plans, why clarity often comes after movement, and why failure is a necessary part of masculine growth. We also explore how God redirects men who are willing to move, not those who wait passively for answers. If you’re single, uncertain, and tired of feeling stuck, then listen up. You have only one life. Don't waste it waiting.

Most men don’t destroy their lives—they slowly waste them. Another year starts, intentions are made, and nothing really changes. Why? Because motivation fades, but direction determines everything. In this episode, we expose the silent drift keeping men stuck and explain why vision—not hustle, not discipline, not willpower—is what most men are missing. We break down eight critical areas that quietly shape your life whether you plan for them or not. This isn’t about New Year’s resolutions. It’s about putting a stake in the ground and deciding who you’ll be 365 days from now—before another year disappears.

Dating doesn’t fall apart because you didn’t feel enough—it falls apart because you didn’t think far enough ahead. In this episode, we go straight after one of the most ignored ideas in modern dating: compatibility. Not chemistry. Not attraction. Compatibility. We break down eight critical areas every man must pay attention to before marriage—including spiritual alignment, values, communication, emotional maturity, life rhythm, and more. This isn’t about fear or perfection. It’s about wisdom. Because who you marry will either launch your life forward or like an anchor, hold it back.

Why are so many men still living at home and what is it costing them? In this episode, we’re looking at the cultural, financial, and relational reasons behind delayed independence, from rising housing costs and comfort culture to well-meaning but overprotective parenting. We explore why moving out functions as a modern rite of passage and when staying home can actually be strategic. Comfort delays growth and capable men are forged through risk, responsibility, and forward motion.

We’re diving into one of dating’s most controversial topics—age gaps. Do they matter? Should older men pursue younger women? We unpack when it’s wise, when it’s weird, and how maturity—not age—is what really counts. We break down why people get uncomfortable when older men pursue younger women, challenge assumptions, and get honest about what makes relationships actually work.

Should men and women be friends? Here’s the truth: most guys who are “just friends” with a girl are either secretly hoping for more or too scared to walk away. We explore the myth of platonic guy-girl friendships, and the emotional intimacy that usually leads to one-sided feelings, drama, jealousy, or worse. Confusion isn’t kind, and friendship shouldn’t be a loophole for romantic activity without the clarity and definition of romantic pursuit.

What do men and women really want and where do marriage, money, and family rank on that list? Today we'll unpack eye-opening research that reveals the differences between modern men and women when it comes to defining success. From financial independence to family life, we explore how priorities have shifted over time—and what that means for dating, relationships, and the pursuit of marriage. We'll discuss why relying on assumptions or political proxies leads to confusion, and why direct conversations matter more than ever.

Dating advice is everywhere—and little of it agrees. One "expert" says “shoot your shot,” another says “focus on yourself.” In this episode, we break down why dating advice feels so chaotic and frustrating and what to do about it. From algorithm-driven content to the myth of one-size-fits-all solutions, we explore four major reasons men feel paralyzed when trying to date well. We’ll help you cut through the noise, ground your approach in wisdom, and start dating in alignment with your values—not TikTok trends or "Instagram experts."

You can do everything right and still be single and today we're unpacking what to do next. From misused Bible verses to hard realities (like entitlement, unrealistic standards, or fear), we challenge ideas that have snuck into people's thinking and belief systems. God doesn’t owe you a spouse. But He does invite you into purpose, surrender, and joy right now. We’re diving into 5 hard truths that will challenge your mindset, sharpen your focus, and help you to move forward with renewed purpose. If you’ve been wrestling with doubt, longing, or disappointment—this episode is for you.

Today we’re challenging the subtle assumptions baked into Christian culture—that if you’re faithful and pure, you will get married. From well-meaning comments to church structures that sideline singles, the message has unintentionally become: marriage = maturity = opportunity. But is that what Scripture teaches? We’ll explore the unspoken narratives, the leadership gap for singles in the Church, and unpack the reality that your purpose isn’t tied to your relationship status. If you’ve ever felt sidelined or like you're in a waiting room until you finally are married, this episode is for you.

Charlie Kirk lived a life full of conviction, courage, intentionality, and faith—qualities that every Christian man should exemplify in his life.   NOTE: Recorded Friday, September 12, 2025. Posted Sunday, September 14, 2025.

Think you’d never compromise your values in a relationship? Today we’re discussing how even strong Christians end up dating the wrong person, crossing boundaries they swore they wouldn’t, and slowly drifting from their convictions—all without realizing it. This happens when emotions take over and excuses start sounding spiritual. Discover why “being in love” might actually be leading you away from God’s best. If you’re serious about dating with wisdom, clarity, and conviction, this one’s a must because compromise just isn’t worth the cost.

Is she worth the risk? In this episode, we break down the bold risks every man should take in dating—and the dangerous ones that could wreck your life. From heartbreak and rejection to false accusations and manipulation, we’ll help you tell the difference between courageous pursuit and reckless decisions. If you want to move forward in relationships without fear, it’s time to raise your accountability and pursue with clarity. Not all risks are created equal—this episode shows you which ones are worth it.

Why are so many men choosing singleness today? In Part 3 of our series, we explore how a low-trust, hyper-individualized culture has reshaped modern dating. From transactional relationships and political polarization to risk-aversion and emotional fatigue, men are navigating a relational minefield. In a world quick to assume the worst and slow to show grace, many retreat into singleness out of self-preservation. This episode challenges men to rise above cultural trends and rediscover the value of sacrifice, trust, and purpose in relationships.

Why are so many men choosing to stay single? In Part 2 of our series, we dive into the fears, emotional fatigue, cultural shifts, and personal struggles that are keeping men from pursuing relationships. From broken role models to modern dating confusion and the pursuit of happiness gone wrong, we unpack the hidden reasons behind relational hesitation—challenging men to ask a better question: "What kind of man am I becoming?" If you’ve felt stuck, burned out, or unsure if love is worth it, this episode will help you reframe the purpose of relationships.

Over 60% of men under 30 are single—many are stuck, frustrated, or checked out. In this episode, we explore the deeper reasons behind the trend: from counterfeit substitutes like porn and hookup culture to the emotional impact of screens and tech. We unpack how modern life numbs ambition, erodes emotional health, and keeps men from real relationships. This is the first in a 3-part series examining what’s really going on behind the high number of single men.

These days, many couples meet online—which often means starting out a relationship long-distance. In this episode, we unpack how to meet someone online with wisdom, verify the real person behind the profile, and build a friendship first. From avoiding emotional traps to planning your first in-person meet-up, we’ll help you navigate the high risks and rewards of a long distance relationship with purpose. Don’t let distance derail your hopes of romantic pursuit. If you're exploring a long-distance relationship (or are in one), this one’s a must listen for you.

Most guys know when they’ve landed in the friendzone—but few know what to do about it. If she calls you her “best friend,” “like a brother,” or wonders “why can’t other guys be like you?”… you’re probably already there. In this episode, we break down why men get stuck in the friendzone and what it takes to either change the dynamic—or move on with clarity and dignity. We explore how being her emotional support system, errand guy, or “platonic partner” does more harm than good if you’re hoping for more. Whether you’re stuck in the zone or trying to avoid it altogether, this conversation offers the honest roadmap every man needs to lead with confidence, integrity, and vision for meaningful connection.

Today’s episode dives deep into why pick-up culture is failing you. While entertainment often makes dating a competitive game of conquest and risk avoidance, it ultimately leaves men frustrated and women uncomfortable. The truth is: our dating culture is broken precisely because it promotes selfishness, manipulation, and disposability. Join us as we discuss a better way—moving from “picking up” women to genuinely pursuing them. Healthy masculinity isn’t found in clever lines but in respecting women as valuable individuals worthy of care and genuine interest. It’s time to discard the “barstool playbook” and embrace a healthier vision for dating and marriage.

Today we’re diving deep into what it means to be attracted to the right stuff—not just in theory, but in practice. Historically, relationships were built on duty, sacrifice, and clarity. Men were providers and protectors; women were nurturers and builders of family legacy. It wasn’t about vibes or romance—it was about purpose, survival, and legacy. Fast forward to today, and culture has flipped the script. Men are being demasculinized. Women are told to be independent at all costs. Masculinity is seen as threatening. Roles are blurred and expectations are unclear. What should men and women really be looking for in a partner? Why are we often attracted to things that don’t actually lead to strong, lasting relationships? If you’ve ever felt lost in the modern dating scene—or unsure about what you should actually be looking for—this episode is for you.

In this episode, we’re tackling a topic that many guys overthink: how to talk to women. Whether you’re trying to make a new friend, engage in meaningful conversation, or just not come across as a weirdo at a social event, this one’s for you. We discuss how real confidence doesn’t come from knowing the outcome, but from knowing how to conduct yourself. You’ll learn the basics of healthy interaction—how to introduce yourself, the art of asking thoughtful questions, and how to carry a conversation without making it about her relationship status (seriously, don’t do that). This isn’t about pickup lines or dating tactics—it’s about being a kind, intentional, and socially aware human. So listen in, take notes, and get ready to level up your interactions with women.

Attraction isn’t just about looks—it’s about the effort you put into presenting yourself. In this episode, we’re breaking down six areas where men can take action that will help them be more attractive. From upgrading your wardrobe to mastering hygiene essentials (because 70% of women say bad breath is a dealbreaker), we’re covering the must-dos for men who want to be in a relationship. We’ll talk about grooming musts, social etiquette, and even why your car and living space say more about you than you think. This is a practical, no-nonsense episode that every guy needs to listen to.

Many men desire marriage, but finding a wife often feels like an impossible task. Are you waiting for God to simply drop the right woman into your life? Do you believe there are no good women left? In this episode, we debunk common myths that keep men stuck and explore why so many struggle to find a godly wife. We’ll challenge the way you define “a good woman,” reveal overlooked opportunities to meet like-minded women, and discuss why attraction isn’t always what you think. Plus, we’ll share practical strategies to expand your search. If you’re serious about marriage, it’s time to stop complaining and start taking action.

All the planning, dreaming, and goal-setting in the world mean nothing if you never take action. Too many guys waste years stuck in a cycle of procrastination—endless excuses and the “I’ll start tomorrow” mentality. But here’s the truth: life isn’t waiting for you to figure it out. If you don’t take responsibility now, you’ll wake up a decade behind, watching your peers pass you by in careers, relationships, and respect. In this final episode of our 8-part series on crafting a vision for your year, we’re cutting through the noise and getting real about what it takes to grow up and take control. No more excuses. No more “someday.” It’s time to make the moves that will change your life. Because talk is free, but inaction is costing you everything.

When setting a vision for your life, creativity might not be the first thing that comes to mind. In this episode, we explore why creativity is essential for men and how it extends far beyond the arts. Whether through problem-solving, business, relationships, or artistic expression, creativity is a powerful tool for adding value to the world. Yet, many men hesitate to embrace it due to misconceptions that it’s impractical, unmasculine, or only for the “artsy” types. We challenge this narrow view and break down the different forms creativity takes—from engineering to entrepreneurship, negotiation to artistry—we discuss why all creativity isn’t beneficial and how to use your unique gifts to bring order and meaning to the world. Creativity is a defining characteristic of a man who leads, innovates, and leaves a legacy.

In this episode, we tackle the sixth area of vision for men: intellectual growth. Let’s be honest—most men rarely think about developing their minds (ironically, right?). It's so easy for them to engage in mentally lazy activities like video games, movies, TV shows, social media, or endless Youtube entertainment. We’ve traded mental exercise for digital shortcuts. But here’s the truth: intellectual curiosity isn’t just for academics—it’s for every man. No matter your background or education, engaging your mind is essential. In a world full of noise and distractions, we challenge you to break free from passive consumption. Instead, lean into curiosity, ask questions, explore new ideas, and sharpen your thinking. Why? Because developing your intellect isn’t just about knowing more—it’s about becoming more. It makes you a stronger leader, a better conversationalist, and a more confident, engaging man. Plus, let’s face it—a guy who knows how to think for himself is more attractive. Join us and discover how cultivating your intellectual growth can open doors, ignite new passions, and transform the way you see the world.

Money isn’t just about what you earn—it’s about how you manage, save, invest, and give. In this episode, we break down essential financial principles for single men who want to build a solid foundation for the future. We’ll unpack ideas like how to grow your income, avoid the get-rich-quick mindset, and ensure you’re consistently earning more than you spend. If you’re a single man who hopes to be in a relationship or married one day, this episode is for you—because being broke, buried in debt, and facing a bleak financial future are not qualities that make you attractive to women.

Men don't tend to think about mental wellness or the impact it can have on them. And in a world of endless content and opportunity, something is always fighting for our attention, focus, and time. In this episode, we challenge men to take a hard look at their mental state and evaluate how their consumption of media impacts their mental strength, focus, and overall well-being. We examine six areas of media intake—social media, news, TV and movies, music, gaming, and reading—and discuss how each of these impacts our mental wellness. We discuss practical ways to reshape your consumption habits so that what you take in builds you up rather than tears you down.

Testosterone thrives under pressure, and physical strain is essential for men. Regular physical activity isn’t just about looking good—it’s about health, sharpening your mental clarity, and fueling a more purpose-driven life. In this episode, we discuss how men can build stronger, healthier lives through intentional habits that prioritize discipline and growth. From workouts that challenge your limits to running, eating well, and getting quality sleep, we identify key areas that men need to prioritize. We also tackle the impact of hydration, alcohol, and tobacco on your overall health—including how these choices shape your weight, muscle mass, and body fat percentage. This isn’t about chasing perfection or achieving a gym-bro physique. It’s about stewarding your body to be ready for life’s challenges and becoming a better men—whether or not you're a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, or father. If you’re working toward personal growth this year or aiming to lead others by example, join us as we embrace the importance of health and discipline.

Brotherhood is a vital aspect of a man’s life—built on loyalty, shared experiences, and accountability. Men thrive in friendships where they can lean on one another, grow stronger, and carry each other’s burdens—whether emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual. Yet, in today’s culture, many men struggle with isolation, avoiding both mentorship and accountability. In today's episode, we discuss how men can overcome this by prioritizing time with other men, engaging in shared disciplines, and fostering authentic relationships. We also unpack the importance of “guys-only” environments and why they are not about escape but about growth. Strong brotherhoods are built on more than just fun—they are forged through challenges and shared purpose. Join us to discover practical ways to build meaningful male friendships and live out the brotherhood all men need.

This episode kicks off an eight-part series designed to help men craft a vision for their lives in 2025. In this episode, we explore why a thriving relationship with Jesus is the foundation for everything else-and how to cultivate it in practical ways. From finding quiet moments to engage with scripture and building a lifestyle of prayer, to worship as an active part of our lives, we're challenging men to strengthen their spiritual foundation and live with renewed purpose in the year ahead.

As 2025 approaches, it’s time to ask yourself: will I waste another year? In today’s episode, we tackle setting a vision for the new year—what it is, why it matters, and how to use it to transform your life. Most men are naturally goal-oriented but struggle with sustained progress. Whether it’s cynicism, apathy, or passivity holding you back, you’re not alone—but you are called to lead, starting with yourself. Learn how to set clear priorities, say “no” to distractions, and stay consistent to achieve results that will impact your life. Step into the new year with clarity, confidence, and purpose.

In this episode, we sit down with Luke and Kat Boyle to hear their story of how they met, started dating, and navigated their relationship with intentionality and purpose. Join us as Luke and Kat share the key principles that guided them, not only in their path to a flourishing marriage, but as reminders for anyone seeking to pursue a romantic relationship with wisdom and integrity.

Why do so many men today respond to challenges with excuses? From “nobody’s perfect” to “life isn’t that simple,” we’ve seen it throughout life and in the comments. This defensive, excuse-making mindset isn’t just unattractive—it’s unbiblical. In this episode we confront a lingering issue plaguing many men: the tendency to sidestep responsibility. Starting with Adam in Genesis, we unpack the timeless sin of excusing away our failures and our propensity to avoid growing in spiritual maturity.

In this episode, we confront an uncomfortable yet incontrovertible truth: men and women are different. And their differences, rather than being ignored or erased, should be valued and embraced. Join us as we ask the crucial question, has society set up for failure those women who aspire to marry, raise children, and stay at home? And what does it look like to value femininity in a non-stop, productivity-obsessed world.

In today's episode, we take a deep dive into emotional baggage and its impact on relationships. From breakups and loss to mental health struggles and family dynamics, we'll explore how unaddressed personal baggage can weigh us down and shape our behaviors, beliefs, and relationships. Whether rooted in genuine wounds or unhealthy perspectives, a victim mindset is the culprit that drives many destructive habits. Join us as we discuss how to spot these patterns and when to ask the question, "Can this be resolved or is it time to reconsider the relationship?"

In this episode, we unpack the dangers of couples "playing house," acting like a married couple while in the dating phase.  While today's society has made it easier than ever to enjoy the benefits of commitment without the actual responsibilities, doing so comes with some risks—particularly for women. Those who choose to structure their relationships this way often only waste time and emotional energy in a relationship that has no foundation for a future.  Marriage offers stability, longevity, and true covenant, which are not found in dating—they're not the same, and it's time to bring back the distinction. Join us as we challenge this shift in social norms and build a case for why holding back from “marriage behaviors” until you are actually married will benefit you today and contribute to your future health and happiness.

From the "soulmate" myth to the hypercritical “red flag” culture, in this episode we dive deep into the powerful dating “meta-narrative” that’s likely setting you up for failure.  We’ll unpack how social conditioning and viral dating advice have made us more judgmental, often interpreting harmless quirks or insecurities as fatal flaws. Are we over-analyzing every interaction? Are “red flags” helpful measures, or are they just fueling a never-ending cycle of mistrust and discontent? While important to carefully weigh recurring behaviors or blindspots that may indicate a lack of health and maturity, this process shouldn't be confused with clinging to an over-romanticized standard for the "ideal" spouse.  We discuss the importance of looking beyond superficial judgments and focusing on values, health, and honest communication. We’ll also explore why it’s essential to engage with the person across from you, instead of keeping your hand hovering over the eject button. Relationships are complex and worth the work—so let’s replace the "red-flag" radar with a healthier approach that allows space for growth and grace. Because relationships that are built on finding fault never last.

In today's episode, we dive into the pitfalls of the modern dating landscape and how it often perpetuates dysfunction in relationships. We explore the shift in dating approaches over the last half-century and the impact on young generations—taking a look at the influence of media, the rise in divorce rates, and the changing trends in how couples meet. Join us as we make the case for less conventional approaches to relationships and how to prioritize health, even if it means looking weird.

Is money a measure of the seriousness of a relationship?  Today we dive into the topic of finances in dating relationships. Every man must learn how to balance romance and responsibility without breaking the bank and we explore the pressure many men feel to showcase their financial worth. We discuss how social media has fueled expectations for extravagant dates and why spending money doesn’t always equate to showing appreciation or love. We advocate for intentional and responsible spending, saving for the future, and ensuring your generosity isn’t self-serving. Whether you’re wondering if the amount you spend should change as the relationship progresses, or how to talk about debt and financial status, join as we discuss how to navigate finances in dating relationships. 

Emotions are important—but no one should be ruled by them. In this episode, we dive into the pitfalls of being emotionally driven, such as impulsive decision-making and overreacting to minor problems or conflicts. We explore some characteristics of emotional health in relationships, such as emotional independence and patience. Lastly, we take a hard look at how best to navigate and manage emotions without rejecting them entirely—recognizing them as a healthy tool, not a taskmaster.

In this episode, we tackle a critical problem that cripples many dating relationships: complacency. From fear of commitment to external pressures like finances and family expectations, there are many factors that can often cause men to avoid making necessary decisions. We'll unpack how this passivity frequently leads to lowered standards, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance. Complacency kills growth. Join us as we explore the consequences of stagnancy and some key principles for moving forward with purpose.

Today, we unpack the "Isolation Trap" in relationships, where couples withdraw from community and focus entirely on each other. We guarantee you've either seen or experienced this kind of tunnel vision! It's possible to avoid falling into the trap, and we provide a practical framework to stay connected to community. We discuss the importance of spending time with others, resisting the temptation to make everything about "you two", and being open to feedback.

We believe that dating shouldn't dramatically alter a person's life. In this episode, we challenge common misconceptions about romantic relationships, emphasizing the importance of being self-disciplined and remembering that dating isn't marriage. Join us as we address the pitfalls of becoming emotionally codependent while dating and discuss practical ways to set your sights on long-term health while making the most of the dating phase.

There is a significant difference between dating for fun and dating with purpose. Are you pursuing relationships because it’s fulfilling in the moment, or are you doing so with the future in mind? Modern dating culture, which often places a premium on self-fulfillment, is actually setting the stage for divorce. Join us as we unpack the necessity of clear vision and purpose in keeping relationships from drifting into unhealthy territory, and as we challenge the popular notion that the purpose of dating should be finding someone who will make you happy. True commitment shouldn’t be put on hold for convenience. Join us as we explore practical ways to pursue successful relationships, instead of rehearsing for divorce.