The Artist v. Scientist Podcast

The Artist v. Scientist Pidcast Show concludes its 35th Anniversary celebration. Every fifth person who shows up to the auditorium with a gun gets a free gun! (10:00)WARNING: This episode contains gun violence. Some listeners may be disturbed. Other listeners may be into that sort of thing, sicko.

The Artist v. Scientist Podcast celebrate their 35th anniversary with a clip show in front of a live studio audience. A look back at such classics as our very first episode, the beloved 'Show Clock' and more. So everybody stomp your feet for the Show Clock and let the show begin! (07:04)

The boys from the Iron Baby Podcast return from break to continue their interview of Dr. Horatio Throckmorton, author of the new book, "The New New Frontier: Modern American Babies; Healthy." Brought to you by BABY BRAWLS XIII. If you like the shitty sound of your AM radios then listen to the episode here. (21:32)

The boys from the Iron Baby Podcast talk to Dr. Horatio Throckmorton, author of the new book "The New New Frontier: Modern American Babies; Healthy." This episode is dedicated to Brother and Sister-In-Law. For those of you who enjoy the shitty sound of your AM radios listen here. (20:58)

Due to real life still no show this week. All we have is another teaser; it's a "promo" for the subject of the next episode entitled "The Iron Baby Podcast!" There! Now you know the title of the episode we haven't been able to record. I gave you something. Now quit standing around or I'll continue to tease you! The delay should not imply any higher expectations on your part. Stay tuned! (01:36)

No show this week but here's a teaser for the next episode. Thanks for listening and tell your friends the kids are 'will be back' soon! (03:17)

After his ordeal the scientist calls the wacky German doctor to ask for help fixing a little problem leciting a celtain lettel. What's he gotten himself into this time!? (14:13)

The Artist goes on a quest! New friends will be made, old friends will be remembered and adventure waits at each turn. The journey begins here. Will you answer the Call of Duty MW2? (23:34)

I liked it better when I didn't have to do any of this; just talk on the phone and drive a car. Yes... the Scientist is in a tank. (4:28)

The Scientist is still senseless in the sensory deprivation chamber. Is anyone watching the clock? (2:17)

When's it my turn? Scientist is still in the soup. (4:38)

Now that my tyrannical podcasting overlord is out of the picture, let me tell you about the horrific conditions in which I am forced to perform. I get no food or body breaks. He makes me watch Fall Guy reruns on a loop. Please contact the authorities! (2:59)

Hey, Scientist is in some water and I'm in another state. Here's update number two. (7:19)

So... we have Scientist in a tank - in total isolation. Finally I have the helm of the broadcast all to myself. I will be posting updates on Scientist's condition throughout the day. Be advised. (10:52)

Stop what you are doing immediately! Before you waste anymore semen you must listen to this episode. (23:58)Plus, stay tuned for live audio updates from the Sensory Deprivation Chamber this Friday!

The first episode of a new year. Look at you! Vacation has made you soft and flabby. You get what you pay for. (12:04)

In commemoration of the looming renewal of the full Patriot Act the Artist v. Scientist Podcast proudly present The Patriot Act in One Act. What do big brothers do? They try to embarrass you in front of your friends. (17:36)

This episode was inspired by real events but the characters depicted are (obviously) fictitious; any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and/or laziness. For your listening pleasure we now present Turtle Neck Threater [sic]. Quickly, before the lawyers descend, click it! (24:47)The Artist v. Scientist Podcast - Trivializing Bomb Threats Since 2009.

President or Jihad? Mr. Phil Wolf would like to know at 1-720-898-9019. We gave him a call and answered his question. Easy! Give him a call too! Check out the visual representation below or you can download the video directly here. (1:21)

You're in trouble folks! The artist shares a story from his past in one of his most intimate fireside chats. But don't sit too close to the fire ladies and gentlemen or the pee will evaporate. (19:31)

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Put on your mystery voice folks! This is This Is Your Life! Special thanks to Archivist. (29:19)

Have you ever wondered why the sky is blue? Well, screw you! (12:30)

The shattering conclusion of the Artist v. Scientist brother set parent trap. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (19:56)

Your mother has such good hearing that she listens to the Artist v. Scientist Podcast. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (14:25)

If you don't want to learn how to rock and roll on guitar then don't bother listening to part one of the ongoing Audio Instructional Series - Guitar. Get your axe ready! Disclaimer: Don't bother getting your axe ready! (6:47)

In advance of the Halloween festivities we present to you this scaretastical episode of the Artist v. Scientist Podcast so that you might get you into the holiday... spirits? Happy Halloween to all and to all a good night. Or should I say... good fright? What's that? You just want it to be good night? Okay, sorry. (7:00)

In this episode the artist and scientist debate the merits of the public option (sort of). Plus, a touching story about the clap; why does one thing always lead to another? (21:28)

On the eve of the death of Captain Lou Albano the scientist finds the courage to admit he has a big penis; the artist would rather not hear about it. But you can hear all about it in episode twelve of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (21:50)

In this eleventh episode spectacular the scientist learns another valuable life lesson, a horribly valuable lesson. It's sure to be a collectible episode featuring the first appearance of Nano. Trade with your friends! (11:54)

The artist and scientist talk to a real live woman as she dares to reveal the sordid details surrounding the seedy underbelly of organized "bike clubs." What's on the table and what's off the table as far as female masturbation is concerned? Will the bike seat make the cut? What about the table? Stay tuned to the most orgasmic episode of the Artist v. Scientist podcast to date. (22:01)

The last installment is finally here! Ultimately just like so many other tales it's a love story; we're talking about part 5 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:32)

In this episode the scientist calls it quits. Plus, some girl talk; are women trying to hide their alleged perversion towards some potentially illicit activity? (28:09)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; I mean, look, it's part 4 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Reptilians? Illuminati? Freemasons? New World Order? Why all these distractions? (10:14)

The gang learns an important life lesson. Jimmy Durante guest stars on a very special episode of Artist v. Scientist. (06:15)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; here's the thing, it's part 3 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Home is where you, you know..., end up... when... the spaghetti's done. (08:52)

In episode 7 the artist and scientist talk to the auto mechanic in order to reveal the results of the state's vehicle inspection. It's pass or fail and even lady liberty herself might not be left standing once the dust settles. That or the scientist will just pay for the repairs. Plus, it's national "fuck work and go ride a go-kart" day. (22:26)Go check out the band Nag Champayons at www.nagchampayons.com, please. The site's just been launched so give them some time to put up some music will ya?

We now take you to the auto shop waiting room where the scientist is reporting live. Scientist, why are the local residents so concerned about the prologue to episode 7? (06:18)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; you know, it's part 2 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. The views expressed by the lizard people person are definitely not those of the artist nor the scientist. (08:25)Here's what some people are saying about the "Lizard People Tapes":"dont listen to teh lizard people tapes."- zarallax69"FAIL!"-PAsTmpRster"First let me tell you, I have absolutely no sense of self importance and it's safe to say I hate myself. I do not think that my time is at all precious or valuable. In fact I spend most of my time watching internet videos of cats playing an assortment of musical instruments. And yet I cannot express how much I greatly regret losing the several minutes that I will never get back after listening to the Lizard People Tapes-Part 1. If there is a hell may you burn in it for eternity. If there is no hell may you spend the rest of your days on this earth literally on fire."-kittylovermeow33317

It's episode 6 of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (20:11)

It's the difficult fifth episode featuring the tale of the rolling vibrator, another call to all the Canadians, skankle, the electric butt plug with travel adapter, and more. (27:34)Who is the lizard people person?

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; listen it's part 1 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:47)

We'd like to dedicate the second part of this fourth episode to you. (11:09)

We'd like to dedicate the first part of this fourth episode to god. (37:14)

Bonus material? Yes. The scientist calls his loved ones to wish them a happy birthday. Warning: birthdays aren't for everyone and the sound quality is not that great from jail. (03:30)Update (9-03-09): The sound quality has been improved.

Episode 3 is here. The artist and scientist issue a request to their first Canadian listener. And... NEWS! (30:32)