The Bone Zone

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, Sara talks about her journey to find the balance between the masculine and feminine within. And Richard shares his journey stepping into his masculine.Women are often taught from a young age to be strong, independent go-getters. Sometimes, through early life experiences, the “masculine” armour also develops as a way of protecting yourself.And there is a lot to recommend it!But at a certain point, this default programming can start to hold you (and your relationship) back.We talk about: Sara’s radical career and business-related decision When the very thing that always brought you, success starts to be counter-productive The pendulum of masculine feminine extreme, to get back into balance The effect on Richard stepping into his masculine from Sara’s exploration of the feminine Polarity within a relationshipWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailWithin our relationship, we implemented the practice of the 3-hour sex date once a week.Barring some periods of falling off the wagon, we have more or less stuck to it for almost 2 years.Sex and intimacy are like anything else. If you don’t make it a priority and plan for it (likegoing to the gym), you’re likely to see it slide further down your list.However, what do you do if you’ve committed to this time together, but you just don’t feel like it on the day?In this episode, we talk about: The real intention of the sex date (and how hot sex is a byproduct of that) What to do when you don’t feel like it. Making the sex date your own Why this date is even more important in periods of transition and strong emotions The solo weekly sex dateWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThis episode was inspired by an insight that cropped up during our weekly date night.During long, loving relationships – whether they be family, friends or romantic partners, there will be times when the people you love will need support.What is the correct balance for that support between allowing the other person autonomy to ask for help, looking after yourself and looking after the person you love? The emotions involved can be intense.We discuss: Richard’s near brush with disability Sara’s realisation of the guilt she carried around for decades about not being there enough for loved ones and how it reinforced the feeling of “I’m a bad person” It’s not about fixing, it’s about being there Resentment vs. guilt. How do you deal with that? Intuitively making the right choice and dealing with your emotions.We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we talk about open relationships, poly-amory and other types of non-monogamous relationships.These types of relationships characterised by agreement between the parties concerned have been glamourised and offered as a solution for the monotony of monogamy in the last decade or so.But what’s the real reason why people choose to enter these arrangements?We talk about: Richard’s personal experience of an open marriage with his first wife Why open relationships are often the easier road when compared to conscious monogamy. How intimacy can sometimes destroy sex drive Some tough questions to ask yourself if you’re thinking non-monogamy is the root to solve your relationship problemsWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on  [email protected]

Send us Fan MailWe couldn’t not watch the Manosphere. Join us for this episode where we rant, analyse and share some of our key takeaways from the Louis Theroux documentary and what it says about masculinity, femininity and relationships.In this episode, we talk about: How we got here – the discrediting of “masculinity” and how it led to polarization The men in the Manosphere are not “alpha men”. Their behaviour comes from deep wounding. The behaviour traits of the wounded masculine The difference between leadership and control When women settle for “less” while telling themselves they’re happy The wounded “feminine”We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailArguments within a relationship are not a bad thing.The problem is where arguments remain unresolved, where things said in the heat of the moment are weaponised or where they linger on for weeks affecting the relationship.However, if we can learn to argue well and not take things so personally, then, arguments are huge opportunities for personal and relationship growth.In this episode, we talk about: Two recent arguments we’ve had that would have left Richard giving me the coldshoulder for weeks a few years ago! Creating arguments out of nowhere (some of the reasons why we do it) The feminine need to prod and test the masculine (Are you really there? Do you really love me no matter what?) Using arguments as an opportunity for deeper insight into yourself.We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we challenge the belief that arguing and conflict within a relationship is “bad”.We talk about something far more insidious that can spell doom for a long-term relationship. And that is non-communication or silence.The irony is that you might think silence is helpful to maintain harmony (and maybe it is in the short term), but the more you do this, the more you build up problems down the road.We talk about: An extremely silent 10-year anniversary dinner How non-communication killed Richard’s first marriage Talking about the kids/work/logistics is NOT talking The destructiveness of stonewalling Why the goal is to argue better (not stop arguing at all)We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailToday, we’re talking about the problem with taking life (and relationships) too seriously! The older we get, the more we hear phrases like “grow up” – but what if we used play strategically to make every aspect of our life better (and had fun doing it)?For Richard and I, humour has always been an integral part of our relationship andsomething that we default back to when everything feels heavy.Play and humour can be effective in getting us through dark times.We talk about: Using play and fun to diffuse tension while arguing and as a repair attempt Making light of past arguments (that were resolved) Creating your “in jokes” as a couple and building your own little world Our personal little world! Play’s role in creativity, learning and memoryWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailPeople throw around the term “integrity”, but what does it mean and how does it show up within a relationship?Unfortunately, in a world where we have a lot of high-profile examples of toxic masculinity, it can be hard to pinpoint the qualities of the healthy masculine. Integrity forms one of those qualities and we go deep into it!And it goes far beyond a moral code!In this episode: We talk about how we each interpret the word “integrity” Integrity and keeping commitments to self Integrity and the healthy masculine Integrity creating safety within the relationship Integrity in a woman creates a container for the feminine to flowWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us tocover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThere are some shocking statistics out there about how much couples actually talk to each other over the course of a week! No wonder relationships fail – because whether you’re happy or not, unless you put time, attention and effort into your relationship, it will suffer and eventually the love dies.You wouldn’t expect to show up to work for half an hour a week and expect to succeed, would you?In this episode, we talk about: How long the average couple spends talking to each other in a week An increasingly more disconnected (from each other) trend The social media/smartphone distraction and how it’s affecting your   relationship Scheduling non-negotiable real quality time together frequentlyWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailWhen I say the words “fair exchange” – what do you think of? For a lot of people, the first thing that comes to mind is money.While you may think that’s less true in relationships than say work, money undoubtedly can become a bone of contention in a relationship. Especially if the breadwinner sees themselves as “being owed”, or the one being supported financially has wounding or trauma around receiving money.Fair exchange is not about keeping score or tit for tat. It’s a feeling of being in balance with another person.In this episode, we talk about: How to think about fair exchange within a work context (it’s about more than the exchange of money for services). So, you can feel more in balance when you think work is treating you unfairly. Programming around women and financial independence. How discomfort around being supported financially can be more to do with safety and trust (in a healthy relationship). Thinking about fair exchange within a relationship laterally How to get back into a feeling of fair exchange when you’re feeling out of balanceWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there is anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we talk all things female orgasm, with intuitive sex and intimacy coach, Jake Kelly.It’s easy to think that it’s all about the clitoris, when it comes to female pleasure. But this is the tip of the orgasmic iceberg. In this episode, we talk about: The infinite range of possible orgasms! The main orgasms for women in addition to the clitoris The price of admission for some of the deeper orgasms Release of emotions and emotional trauma with the deeper orgasms Starting to open to the deeper orgasmsWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected] you want to book in with Jake, you can reach out to  her on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailHaving trouble getting into sex and climaxing? It can be easy to write it off as just one of those things, and tell yourself: “well, that just happens sometimes.”But how we feel in our relationship and other areas of life shows up in the bedroom, and if we choose to go there and ask why we’re blocked sexually, rather than ignore it, we can alchemise our emotional blocks.In this episode, we talk about (through a personal story!): Seeing inability to climax (either on occasion or in general) as an invitation to look at what’s blocking you. How it’s never JUST about the hormones or the phase of your menstrual cycle – if we look deeper, there’s usually something else present that is trying to get your attention! Identifying what’s actually going on and communicating it neutrally. Looking at the different areas of life that could be affecting your sex lifeWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there is anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThere seems to be two polarised schools of thought in relation to dating, romantic relationships and marriage.The deeply cynical view that relationships get worse over time and the opposite: fairy tale love.We don’t advocate settling in a relationship, however, looking for a fairy tale too soon can lead to you to run away from people that are a great match for you too early in the relationship.In this episode, we talk about: •What constitutes a fairy tale in a relationship •Share stories of a couple happily married after decades together!•How there is no such thing as “happily ever after”– you always go through struggles and challenges as a couple.•How the fairy tale can come later in the relationship after decades of marriage•A quick formula for getting what you want in loveWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected] 

Send us Fan MailThis episode is a part 2 to “sorry, not sorry for being me”. If you are going to be yourself in a relationship, the other side of that is allowing your partner to be themselves in the relationship.They say that men get married hoping their partner will never change, and women get married hoping their partner will change. Both sides are invariably disappointed!Just as the path to happiness individually is to focus on what you do have, rather than what you don’t have; the same principle applies within relationships as well.In this episode, we talk about:Focusing on the areas of your relationship that have the potential to be great, rather than focusing on the areas that are lacking (and nagging about it)Accepting your partner even if you don’t agree without feeling the need to change them Taking responsibility for how you communicate a message Focusing on how your differences as a couple are actually helping you! Getting curious about why you feel the need to change your partnerWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on  [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThere is a lot of bad relationship advice out there – some of which talks about “do’s and don’ts” – don’t be too successful; don’t be too loud; don’t talk about this...The reality is that if you want to find a soulmate relationship, you need to be yourself. Not someone that you think you have to be to “win” at the game of love. That includes feeling safe to say what you really think and feel (even if it leads to the end of your dating or a relationship). After all, the goal is not to find apartner that agrees with you all the time (healthy debate within a relationship keeps things interesting), but to find someone that accepts and loves all of you.In this episode, we discuss:Being yourself even when it’s difficult.Not judging or dismissing someone based on their external beliefs, religion, affiliations.Beliefs and values are two different thingsNot pushing your partner to changeBeing yourself in the bedroomVulnerability and intimacyWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThings Are Going Great… Quick, Ruin It!" – A Story of Upper LimitingWhy is it that when something seems to be going well for us, somehow something happens and it seems to fall to shit? Often through us engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours.In this episode, we introduce a concept discussed in the book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.Upper limiting – i.e. once we’ve surpassed our “set point” in terms of happiness, money etc, something happens that brings us right back down to earth with a crash again.In this episode, we talk about:What upper limiting is and an example of how it showed up recently in our relationshipThe crash back down to earth (through self-sabotage or external circumstances)What is the “set point”?Lack of safety when you deviate from the set pointHow to raise the “set point”We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailAs a couple, it’s inevitable that you will disagree. However, if you find yourself consistently fighting about banal, everyday shit; that’s not really the issue! It’s indicative of a deeper problem that many don’t take the time to really uncover.The meaningless shit (whether it be taking the trash out, cleaning etc) hides a deeper meaning, that if not addressed can spell the end of your relationship in months, years or decades from now.So, if you want to stop fighting about the small things, you need to commit to uncovering the deeper wounds within yourself and the relationship. In this episode, we talk about:The small arguments in our relationshipThe small things that become massive things in our observations of warring couplesUncovering what’s really going on in the relationshipA 3 Step Framework to Get to the Heart of the IssueWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailThe term feminine embodiment is not all about the “woo woo” things you might hear out there. For those of you that could never identify with the woo woo, this episode is for you!We also talk about how and why women tend to have “low” libidos and why most women are only accessing a small fraction of the potential sensitivity of their yoni.In this episode, we discuss:What exactly feminine embodiment isWhat holds women back from embodying more of the feminineA simple tool to embody your feminine today!Some of the most common sexual blocks for women (and why!)3 simple steps to unlock more of your sexual potentialWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected] a session with Jake write to her on  [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail"Fall Apart To Rise" How Letting Yourself Crumble Leads To Rebuilding StrongerIn this end of year episode, Sara shares insights from the end of a challenging year and her intuitive downloads.In this episode, we talk about:Falling apart as a pre-cursor to better – the end of a cycle.How allowing yourself to fall apart (and expressing fully all the emotions associated with it)creates space for the newHow downloads and memories come up to support the processHow fully letting go of past relationships happened the week before Sara met RichardThe perfection in chaos, mess and heartbreakWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailEpisode 7"The Ex-Files", Shitty Relationships and Using Them as A Tool for GrowthIn this episode, we talk about our past relationships and what they taught us.It can be easy to write off love and relationships after years of bad relationships and bad dates, but if you can flip your thinking and see the challenges as a learning curve, it will make you more ready for attracting and evolving within a soulmate relationship. The shitty relationships (and we’ve both had a few of them) allowed us to understand what we don’t wantin a relationship, allowed us to feel out our boundaries of what we will and won’t accept, and ultimately,they were a precursor to uncovering what we did want in a relationship.In this episode, we talk about:Abusive first relationships and how we broke the pattern, so that it didn’t repeat in subsequent relationshipsExperiencing relationship extremes – from super unstable to boring and safeHow Sara committing to herself broke the pattern of non-committal menRichard dating unhinged women (and associating it with great sex) and his transition to a safe relationship (his first marriage)!Our relationship and its stages unfolded in the perfect time.We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailEpisode 6Brainwashed in Bed. Escape the Conditioning that’s Sabotaging Your Pleasure.In this episode, we talk about common belief systems about sex, men and women; that have been ingrained in us by society, family and culture.As much as we might believe we don’t follow these programs, once they filter into our subconscious, they hold us back from realising our sexual potential and pleasure.In this episode, we talk about:Masculinity and sex (and what healthy masculinity is!)Femininity and sex (and the conflicting messages for women)Why it doesn’t make sense biologically that women have a lower libido than menThe real reasons why you might have a low libido as a woman (and starting to question why, rather than “normalising” it)Can’t orgasm? The answer lies inside and outside the bedroom!We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailPutting Yourself First No Matter WhatWe have a potentially triggering episode topic today – putting yourself first no matter what!This is one of the keys to happy relationships (and a happier life).This doesn’t mean you don’t do anything for anyone else! It means that when you do little things to fill up your own cup, you are more able to be there fully for others and less likely to build up resentment for doing so!In this episode, we talk about:Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.How we’ve been programmed to always put everyone else before ourselves, so that we can be a“good” person.The ways in which putting yourself last can show up and sabotage you.How putting yourself first is not about the big things (e.g. taking vacations, spa days to treat yourself). It’s about small things done consistently.A super simple tool that can be applied to put yourself first in all scenariosBuying external things because you LOVE them, not to make yourself feel betterWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we encourage you to develop a reflective approach to have more and better sex within a long-term relationship!It’s easy to believe that sex, romance and passion fades over time. Everyone tells us that’s what to expect. Look at all the jokes about sex and marriage (i.e. you won’t have much of it the longer you’re together!)The truth is more complex. We may “normalise” not having sex (or settling in general!) and therefore, find many reasons not to do it. And we get it – those reasons exist – kids, work etc.However, the truth is: if an intimate relationship, which includes sex to enhance that intimacy, is important to you; you can’t afford to let sex go for months or years at a time. Anything you don’t pay attention to eventually dies and relationships are no different.In this episode, we talk about:1. The ONE question to ask yourself, to get beyond the excuses2. The importance of masculine feminine dynamics inside AND outside the bedroom and the link tosex drive.3. How reflections within a relationship may be sabotaging your sex life (and what to do about it!)4. Being yourself in bed5. One quick exercise to increase intimacy in 5 mins a day!We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on theshow, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we talk about six key ingredients to attracting a soulmate relationship.While this is not the full list of ingredients, paying attention to these six points will go a long way in helping you to attract higher quality romantic prospects into your life!We talk about:1. What exactly is a soulmate partner?2. The four areas to assess compatibility with a partner3. 6 Key Ingredients to Attract a Soulmate PartnerWe want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, we talk about trust. Trust between you and your partner. And trust in yourself.Although, in this episode, we talk about it in terms of trust in relation to financial matters and thinking of money in terms of “our” rather than “you and me” separately; this could apply to any topic within the relationship where trust (or the lack thereof) is a factor.Even within a very trusting and close relationships, little niggles and doubts can come up that are well worth addressing.We talk about:Trust and money within our relationshipSeeing wealth as a team effort (even if one partner is making the money); and why you should never disempower yourself because one partner earns more (or all) of the money!Projecting your own fears and limitations onto your partner: are you not trusting your partner because you don’t trust yourself in some wayTransitioning from “I” to “we” did this.A 4 Pillar framework for you to apply to assess missing components of trust (in respect to yourself and your partner)Book discussed in the episode is by Chakib Abi Saab – The Wealth You Were Never Taught. Link topurchase on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wealth-You-Were-Never-Taught-ebook/dp/B0F8VB66R4We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected] 

Send us Fan MailWelcome to the inaugural episode of the Bone Zone with Richard & Sara.In this podcast, we will be excavating sex & relationship myths to uncover the truth of how relationships really work. We bridge the esoteric and practical worlds to bring you grounded, sage and tangible advice & tools whether you’re looking to attract a soulmate relationship or grow and expand within an existing relationship.In this first episode, we will be sharing the history of our 11-year relationship!We talk about:Our attitude to relationships when we met (and how we met!)Why we nearly split up multiple times in the first two years (busting the myth that soulmate relationships are always easy!)How Richard went from never wanting to get married to asking repeatedly for Sara’s hand in marriage!How marriage took our relationship to new levels of intimacyA happy marriage and making it better and better with each passing year.We want to hear your thoughts and questions, so if there's anything you would like us to cover on the show, please drop us a line on [email protected]