The Collings and Herrin Podcasts

Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast 140. It's the first time Andrew Collins and Richard Herring have spoken in over 60 months and it would be foolish to deny that there might be come tensions bubbling beneath (and all over) the surface, but there's still time for some banter that will take you back to the glory days of 2008-2011. Armed with emergency questions and an emergency folder of cherished tabloid memories the pair attempt to discuss the country's worst serial killers, the Mitfords, the evil of Cecil Parkinson, the debt they owe each other, the unresolved sexual tension (at least at the start of the evening), the disappointment of Northampton, decent and indecent proposals, whether it's OK to add cartoons to The Human Centipede and what the best kind of tape is. You will laugh, you will wince, you will remember the 1980s, but not possibly as fondly as Collings does.

No preamble. Podcast 167 comes exactly 21 weeks after Podcast 166, due to philosophical differences. Here we are again. Same attic, same settee, same hardware, same mugs, same lighting, less clutter, slightly different feng shui, nothing to prove, and arguably too much to talk about, and argue about. Does it work? Only you can decide.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 6: The End Of History. Yes, having regaled you electronically with the entire 6 Music archive with the music taken out, from the end of 2006, through to the end of 2009, this is the final Collins and Herring 6 Music appearance of that period, and also historic in its own way: our first dep for Adam and Joe on Saturday morning, at which point we had no idea we'd ever be asked to do it again. So, on 8 November, 2009, we attack this hallowed slot with gusto, as it were. Audibly nervous, we. In the pic, you can probably sense those nerves. Having decided who's Adam and who's Joe, we discuss 'invasive' headphones, invent Diary Wars, the forthcoming ITV drama series Collision, ballet, Flight of the Conchords, and whether or not Andrew is using his 'audiobook voice' on the radio. What fun we all had. Another big thanks to archivist Graham Tugwell. Without him, the past couple of months would have been a wilderness with wind whistling spookily through it.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 5: In this penultimate offering from the celestial Graham Tugwell Collins and Herring 6 Music archives, we find Andrew and Richard being invited for the first time ever to co-host someone else's show, in this case Jon Richardson's popular Sunday morning show. Their excitement is palpable. The talk moves from euphemisms to shortened names via Jon's Good Deeds feature, our version of it, cleverly called Bad Deeds, and the first ever accusation that Richard just plays with his phone when he should be working. The picture accompanying the podcast is actually accurate; it was taken via the studio webcam on the exact date of this historic recording, May 31, 2009. Apologies for the occasional technical blip. This is us, not you.

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 4: The next four vintage 'pretend podcasts' (they weren't podcasts) from Andrew Collins and Richard Herring, coincide with the filming of the latter's ITV1 comedy-drama You Can Choose Your Friends. Among those topical things discussed on consecutive Saturdays 24 Feb, 3 March, 10 March, 17 March 2007, are: the tumescent lump in David Beckham's shorts; a gigantic, 35-ft squid; a little girl making a stupid face behind Leader of the Opposition David Cameron in Israel; Beth Ditto's squirrel diet; Tony Blair on Comic Relief; Louis Walsh being kicked off The X-Factor (that dates it, right?); and Richard's nude scene in the aforementioned comedy-drama. Don't we sound young?

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 3: Bone-us! As if there aren't *enough* podcasts with Richard Herring on, here are the latest Tugwell Tapes, Pt3, ie. music-free recordings of the half-hour topical review that Richard used to do on Andrew's Saturday afternoon 6 Music show in the Olden Days of 2006-07 (and turned out to be a prototype for what became the Collings and Herrin podcast a year later). There are four here: 20 January, 27 Jan, 3 Feb, 17 Feb 2007, and what a wonderful, prelapsarian world it was, with pre-watershed chit-chat about spliff-denying Leader of the Opposition David Cameron, still-alive Jade Goody, still-insurging Iraqis, and the tantalising possibility of a Someone Likes Yogurt DVD (now *that* dates it).

BONUS! PRETEND PODCASTS! The Tugwell Tape Pt 2: three more 'pretend podcasts' from that weird yesteryear-style parallel universe when Andrew had a regular weekend radio show on 6 Music and Richard was his jolly guest, and these music-free newspaper reviews were a brief initiative. We reach the end of 2006, including a solo show by Richard on Christmas Eve, and two shows from the beginning of 2007, a brave new year - and just three months away from it all being taken away from us - 7 January and 13 January. The tone continues to be silly and cheeky and mischievous and topical and giggly; David Cameron is leader of the Opposition, Tony Blair the Prime Minister, Ruth Kelly something to do with education, a man from the band Towers Of London seems to matter, David Beckham is moving from Real Madrid to LA Galaxy, and in Andrew's shameful and self-indulgent absence on December 24, the lovely Lucy Porter plays the Richard role to Richard's Andrew. And yes, Richard does manage to get the phrase 'brackish' onto national radio during the day. (Thanks to archeologist Graham Tugwell for these finds. Incidentally, the webcam pics that accompany these bonus podcasts are not specific to the recordings, but are roughly correct in terms of era, and specific to the studio.)

BONUS PRETEND PODCASTS: THE TUGWELL TAPES Pt 1. Thanks to podcast-counting buccaneer archivist Graham Tugwell, we have unearthed the whole of the Collins and Herring Pretend Podcasts, which weren't podcasts. It's the weekly newspaper review Andrew and Richard used to do at weekends on 6 Music nearly five years ago, but with the indie music filleted out. They began in November 2006, when we were all young and excitable and suitable for family listening, and were made available to listen to for a week each. What you're hearing is the water-birth of the Collings and Herrin Podcasts (it was this item that we were attempting to reproduce when we began podcasting in March 2008). There are three here, from November 26, December 10 and December 17, 2006, and among those things discussed in a genial and silly manner are: Peter Hitchens, leader of the opposition David Cameron, the concert for Princess Diana, Guardian wallcharts, the news that Lembit Opik had started going out with a Cheeky Girl, Britney's pants and Russell Howard seeing Big Ben for the first time. Innocent times.

In Podcast 166, Richard takes sluggish to new levels and Andrew singularly fails to awaken the Kracken of his usually ebullient personality, even when he reveals that Malcolm X wrote a prototype of the famous joke, 'I'm not saying I'm Jesus, that is for other people to say,' and tries to recruit him for further singalongs, including The Dambusters Theme. Further attempts are made to enliven Richard for what must surely be our last podcast if he keeps this up, including a potentially lively discussion about politically correct censorship of dogs and centipedes, during which Richard inadvertently conceives his next two BBC pitches. (You'll have to listen to find out what they are.) Meanwhile, his actual BBC comedy drama script languishes unwritten for over an hour, with the last word written - 'help' - taking on a whole new profound significance. We can only apologise. Blame Ricky Gervais at the Seinfeld aftershow.

At last! The Podcast 165 Show! Although we threatened the end the podcast last week, we decided to keep it going for one more week, as Andrew was coming round to Richard's anyway before they went off to see Jerry Seinfeld at the O2 Arena in London and they had some time to kill. On a swelteringly hot day, in order to get through one more podcast, Andrew was forced to drink some pinot grigio blush beforehand, and a single 4% proof American beer during, while Richard didn't. The highlights are forensically well-remembered Monty Python sketches and songs, which may baffle our younger listeners, but which will transport people in their forties and fifties to a happier time for British comedy, when stand-ups didn't make 4 million a year. This podcast also stands as a tribute-cum-warning to national treasure Stewart 'Wart' Lee. If you were in Mrs Markilee's class at Cobden Junior School in Loughborough circa 1975 and recognise yourself in the photograph accompanying this podcast, do get in touch! Let's hope Seinfeld is on more disciplined comedic form. Altogether now: Immanuel Kant was a real pissant, he was very rarely etc. etc.

It's Podcast 164, which shall be called Podcast 165, because we can't count. No, it is 164. It is. Because the last one was 163, which is the number that comes before it. The question is: will it be the LAST EVER Collings and Herrin Podcast? The two double espressos inside Richard's system certainly did their best to make it so, as did the combined force of three machines of loving grace: the Tascam DR-100 which refused to reformat itself in time for us to use it, and was still reformatting when we'd finished, and our two Macs (Richard's GarageBand broke down, and so did Andrew's, at different points, and for different reasons, except it was the same reason, which is: The Terminator is coming true). Anyway, Ryan Giggs, Imogen Thomas, Art Blakey, Barack Obama, Benedict Cumberbatch, Rufus Hound ... these are some of the people we talk about. But only one of them is a magic pixie. Find out who by listening to what may be the longest podcast we've ever done. But it may be our last. So. This podcast was not sponsored by Paddy Power.

In podcast 163, we start free-forming and spitballing Richard's next Edinburgh show, What Is Love Anyway?, by having a shouting match about whether Prince Charles fancies Camilla Parker-Bowles, his wife, more than he fancies Pippa Middleton, the sister of his daughter-in-law, and if, when asked, he says he does fancy Camilla more than Pippa, he's lying or simply making a compromise based on the sum of her parts. It's going to be a hell of a show. Despite being a little frazzled between a 60-mile train journey from Northampton and a whole day's worth of DVD extras to film for Chris Evans Not That One, and a double-gig to perform at London's Leicester Square Theatre, we still manage to squeeze some slightly grumpy and prudish gold out of Russell Brand's trousers, the objective/subjective quality of Richard's 43-year-old rump and whether or not Andrew has reviewed Attack The Block. He has reviewed Attack The Block.

Due to a superinjunction, Podcast 162 contains nothing. Except a bit about Pippa Middleton's bum. And Stewart Lee's Teflon coating. And the superinjunctions. And Bin Laden's pants. And that's it. What can we do? The law is the law.

Yes! (That's: YES!) First with all the big news stories, we devote the whole of Podcast 161 to - SPOILER ALERT! - the news that a man has been killed in another country who may or may not have been armed and may or may not have used a woman as a shield. We don't actually, but because Richard has - YES! - been booked at the very last minute to do Radio 4's The News Quiz, he is suddenly all keen to do topical material and work up some of the most obvious gags he can think of. We also cover the - YES! - continuing christian jihad against his show Christ On A Bike as it rolls, relatively unharmed, out of the pagan badlands of East Anglia and into the underpopulated wilds of Presbytarian Scotland. And by the way, they do collect the bins on a Bank Holiday. YES, they do.

Another one from the tank! In our tireless quest to keep you all topped up at all times until we are all dead, we present another pre-record, Podcast 160 - a very unhelpful score in darts - in which we answer questions posed via Twitter two weeks ago. Because we had threatened to record this one while assembling Richard's new snooker table, many of the questions were snooker related (and not all of them as hilarious as 'Pink or brown?'), but some weren't, which means we cover areas as diverse and rich as the cruelty or otherwise of zoos, the death of the printed page in our lifetimes and which is better, Big Break or Pot Black?

Another from the tank again this week, Podcast 159 was recorded two weeks ago, and is, as is now traditional, based upon your questions posed via the miracle of Twitter. Such as: what object would you rescue in a fire, what do you think of AV (yes, some of the questions were that interesting), could you beat Adam and Joe in a fight, have you broken a bone, which three comedy sketches would you take to a desert island and what would we do if we passed Steve Coogan in the corridor: nod, or stop and chat? I bet you're dying to find out what our answers were!

Be gentle with us: this is only the second time we have recorded a podcast - Podcast 158 - using the new Toscom DR-10000000 digital recorder, whose HD sound quality was so good last time that audiophiles threw their hats in the air and jumped for joy ... before catching their hats and starting to complain and moan about the large file size. Give us a break. It was the first time we'd used the thing! And Richard is on tour! And we're both very busy! And we're recording two at a time! For you! You ungrateful bastards! Anyway, let's hope this file size is more agreeable to you, and that you don't fall asleep at the end like Richard did. We dedicated this podcast to James Bull and Jonathan Williams and we hope their second date goes well.

A new dawn for the Collings and Herrin podcast: 157 has been recorded on a Tascam DR-100 portable digital recorder, which Richard bought online in the middle of the night while on tour and which came with a free 6'x3' snooker table. Whether we should have had the new machine switched to UNI or OMNI is still a moot point, but hopefully not a mute point, eh, audiophiles? Let us know what you think of our new direction, which, this week, is mainly about catching up on the last three weeks - which is the longest we've ever been apart since March 2008, before which, of course, we were nearly always apart. So, it's Richard's conditioner nightmare, the Zion Baptist protests and Andrew's Andrew Collins Twitter name tropical storm story, perhaps his finest since Lion Man.

From the tank where we put all our spare podcasts (it is not really a tank of any kind), we present Podcast 156, which we recorded two weeks ago and is thus built around questions posed on March 15 by people on Twitter, some of whom were so greedy and megalomaniacal they posted a number of questions. You'll have to listen to it to find out which ones inspired us, and which ones didn't, and whether being a retired headmaster is harder than being a nationally known stand-up comedian.

Bonus! In the latest of our free, Richard-is-on-tour, back-up, pre-recorded podcasts from the past for the future, we reach 155, a non-topical game of two halves. In the first half, we have a chin-stroking, Newsnight Review-style discussion of American comedy, from Larry Sander and Zack Garofolo (as we call him, for convenience) to Fat Bastard and Kenny Powers. Then, in the second half, we take subjects from Twitter suggestions, and end up talking about cleaning anuses and watching slow motion footage of birds having practical, procreative sex. And for lovers of pens, here is a picture of all of the pens (and one IKEA pencil) from the small pocket in Andrew's man bag.

Richard's back! For one day only! So we present a brand new, topical podcast, Number 154 (numbered after the excellent 1979 album by the post-punk group Wire, one of Richard's favourites). Rather than dwell on the horrible geological events in Japan, we turn instead to the last two weeks of Richard's tour and go through his diary looking for interesting stories to tell. While he was away, battling Christians and Psychic Sally, Andrew had the quietest birthday ever and experienced the most emotionally draining week of his professional life, while accidentally keeping up with the money bid on his much more successful colleague on Twitrelief, a charity initiative misunderstood by some idiots. Also featuring: a guest star from the world of insects: this possibly radioactive ladybird, followed by its tiny son or daughter.

While Richard is away on tour, braving the threats and prayers of Christians who've seen his poster, we present a special, non-topical, 'pre-recorded' Podcast 153, based upon the one-word themes suggested by the nerds of Twitter two weeks ago. The words that inspired and stumped us include: revolution, fish, robots, liberation, ennui, boobs, nostalgia, schadenfreude, weddings, proxyglossaryisis, dreams, hedgehog, blue, Olympian and lactose, to varying degrees of light entertainment. We also unveil Andrew's First Theorum Of The Initial Letter B. Plus, for Fist Of Fun fans, we hold up the very book that gave Simon Quinlank his name.

Will Andrew get through the whole of Podcast 152, recorded the night after the Oscars, without finding out who won? He is attempting, Likely Lads style, to avoid the results all day so that he can watch the ceremony on Sky+ and fast-forward through the adverts and the rubbish bits in the studio in Isleworth about the dresses. This high level intrigue very much powers the podcast, which is otherwise dominated by Richard reading out his tour dates and trying to find something interesting to say about every town he's visiting before we next get the chance to kick glasses of water over onto archived items of sentimental value in his post-apocalyptic attic. Colin Firth! Aaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh! // Due to Richard's Macbook - an apparent 'Pro' - the last three minutes are cut off, right in the middle of a revealing passage about the film Croupier. Sorry about that. If we can recover the extra minutes, we will put them out.

In Podcast 151, fuelled in Richard's case by a variety of different caffeine sources, we celebrate the Royal Engagement Gold Plated Photographic Coin, available for 39.99 plus 3.99 postage and packaging but only three per household, the impression of a bloated spider being pulled off currently by Colonel Gadaffi, the demise of Masterchef, the sexual allure of Russell Kane in a dress and its significance towards a utopian future in which all men and ladies have the same equipment, and we mark the sad passing of Brigadier Letherbridge Stewart off of Doctor Who (1969-1989).

Richard's back from Maldives International with some colour in his cheeks, a whiff of seafood curry about his pores and some exciting seabird knowledge, Andrew's back from Braintree Freeport railway station with far too much information about David Cameron's Big Society and a casting-couch pass, and we're back in the attic for Podcast 150, a good-natured catch-up after two weeks' break from each other in which we discuss the malleable nature of xenophobia, the etiquette of squirting lagoon water out of your mouth while honeymoon couples are eating and the sweetness of Larry the Downing Street cat. It goes a bit weird at one point, but we rise above it, despite jetlag.

Even though Richard is still in the Maldives, or an adjacent morgue, wearing a Sombrero or whatever people wear in the Maldives, here is another bonus podcast, this time with an historic and even archeological twist. Think back to the end of 2006, when podcast were still a new-fangled invention, and Andrew had his own weekend show on 6 Music, on which Richard appeared each week as a guest, for half an hour. This is the 'pretend podcast' version of one of those guest appearances, badly mixed in Richard's favour, and full of bonhomie and reverence. We hope you enjoy this memento and that it makes you feel that you have turned back time.

Bonus! Even though Richard is drinking a pina collada in the Maldives with his imaginary girlfriend, or lying dead in the sea if his plane went down, we bring you Podcast 149, which was recorded (contrary to what we say in the intro) on October 29, 2010, in Richard's VW Golf on the Eastbound M4 from Bristol to London. We hope you enjoy it, and especially the names on the sides of lorries that Andrew feels the Rain Man-style need to read out. There's a very exciting bit where Richard has to stop to fill up the car with petrol. Another bonus podcast next week, even though Richard will still be in the Maldives, or the sea.

Recorded in a carefully constructed television set designed to look like the post-apocalyptic attic flat of a sad, lonely old man who collects electronic equipment, Podcast 148 - the closest you'll get to our THIRD BIRTHDAY PODCAST!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!!! - is our subtle riposte to the Andy Gray/Richard Keys sexism scandal: an hour-long tribute to women linesmen everywhere, and their basic human right to have a 'vagazzle' and have Premiership footballers 'hanging out of it.' You'll have to listen to it to appreciate the full extent of our political correctness.

Phew! Having almost broken both this podcast and the 6 Music show since last week, we finally start to mend things. Richard suggests introducing a 'safe word' to our sado-masochistic faux-marriage: GEOFF LLOYD. So, whenever Richard goes too far in his violent, psychotic bullying of what he believes to be a fictional character, Andrew can say 'GEOFF LLOYD' and Richard must stop. You can hear this in action in Podcast 147, where we discuss the morality of comedians doing adverts - again! - and the danger of sounding like you're jealous of Paddy McGuinness on Twitter when you are not. Richard also fantasises about being an undercover policeman in the 1970s. And, spoiler alert, Andrew only has to say 'GEOFF LLOYD' once.

In this, our 146th podcast, we emerge from an aborted first go, which descended into over-caffeinated shouting, but we kissed and made up, Andrew had a boiled egg, and we started anew. (You wouldn't have liked it.) Thus, it's conventional podcast satire ahoy, with a sideways look at Kenneth Tong, Colin Firth, Greg Davies, Edward Woollard, Simon and Kenny the guinea pigs, Sarah Palin, Steve Coogan, and the unfortunate but avoidable accident Richard had with a glass of sentimental value. It's great to be back.

Our first podcast of 2011 finds us in a reflective but ultimately positive and upbeat mood, filled with hope and good cheer for the new year and all the challenges and opportunities for change and self-improvement and spiritual fulfillment it may bring: perhaps an unnecessary and expensive hair transplant like the already financially unstable Gordon Ramsay, or an unhealthy, slightly creepy obsession with a murder case like the tabloids, or a documentary about yourself on Channel 4 like Britain's Fattest Man, or the living nightmare of a vast, intricately staged Truman Show-style illusion in which your so-called life is populated by actors on a loop whose job it is to make every development in your existence here on earth seem like a cruel and ironic joke designed to drive you to nervous breakdown or suicide or the decision to sell your house and go and do missionary work in India or at the very least a few sad Tweets. But despite all this, we vow to carry on doing the podcast. If Richard's stupid Mac 'disk' lets us. (His disk is all part of the Truman Show, too, of course.)

It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did, like a last little burst of Christmas fairy magic: Podcast 144, recorded on the eve of New Year's Eve 2010. It's a very special kind of Review Of The Year, in which we barely mention the year, or review it. No Chilean miners, no coalition government, no X-Factor autotuning scandal! But hey, you can have the year reviewed anywhere. And where else would you get discussion of this intellectual caliber about fat balls, Hilary Kay and The Truman Show? Happy New Year, one and all!

In a tradition that now stretches back to 2008, we join festive forces with the heavily bearded Messrs Phill Jupitus and Phil Wilding for a Festive 12: that is, an overmanned Christmas edition of their now rarer-than-a-corncrake Perfect 10. In this special, extended, laptop-recorded version of what will be an exquisitely studio-recorded and probably edited audio event, offers pretty much the same, except with about 15 minutes at either end of us getting into character in an airless booth in Central London. If you prefer a more professional podcast, download it via USP or iTunes as Phill and Phil's Festive 12. If you prefer Andre 'the Towel Thief' Vincent's stings to be heard via our headphones ie. not at all, you've come to the right outlet. There's stuff about bad behaviour and awful Christmas films and heartache and abuse, and it's the perfect way to get into the Christmas mood. Merry Christmas, one and all, from all of us.

In Podcast 143, or Podcast 202 according to the Tugwell Scale, or Podcast 203 depending on whether you include the most recent 6 Music podcast which actually became available while we were recording this one, we endure more Mac-based laptop misery when Richard's 'much better' MacBook packs up censoriously just before Richard describes in detail what he saw when a plumber showed him video footage of what was in his blocked toilet waste pipe. We can never recapture the magic of that section again, so we move on, with some frankly less scintillating material about cables, John Harris, the Duchess of Cornwall, Frankie Boyle, Stewart Lee, Helen and Olly off of Faber's Answer Me This podcast book and God. Once again, we decided to stop podcasting, but probably won't. May as well push on to Podcast 144 before we both keel over. Merry Christmas.

Is it Podcast 142, or is it, according to rogue podcast counter Graham Tugwell, Podcast 200? It's Podcast 142, although it may well be our 200th podcast, if you include 6 Music podcasts and other ephemera, as Graham Tugwell has done. It's a celebration either way, as Richard regresses to smutty schoolboy state and creates yet another brilliant dystopian sci-fi movie pitch based on, shall we say, geometry and biology. The Wikileaks story might dominate were it not for more pressing matters such as the return of the Times Cryptic Crossword Book 13, the tagline for Ken Follett's latest novel, Mark Watson's Hurt Locker, and the incoming Loaded Lafta award nominations, in which this podcast is beaten to the shortlist by a number of podcasts that aren't even regular podcasts. Note: this podcast was recorded during a localised, nostalgic power cut and while you listen to it, you should imagine the battery bar of Andrew's laptop inching perilously close to the left. It's on 18 percent power as Andrew types this. Exciting!

In Podcast 141, we face death, in the face, and not just Bernard Matthews'. Not to mention the extortionate costs of hiring a people-carrier with a ridiculous name that most people would be too embarrassed to ask for on the phone, the intricacies of our close showbiz pal Jason Manford's career-change (actually, this bit is cut off in the middle, due to a fetish fridge magnet somebody sent us as an act of sabotage), the confusingly fragrant nature of middle class female student rioters and its impact on the Daily Mail, the counterintuitive behaviour of people who vote for people who are rubbish on TV reality and talent shows, and the coming potato famine in Ireland. Do not put a magnet near this podcast, as it might make it disappear.

In Podcast 140, or 192 if you're counting, probably, and somebody is, inaccurately, we celebrate the forthcoming Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton by recreating their now iconic pose in our photograph, even though there's no chance of us ever seeing our own engagement through to fruition, or appearing on I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here, unless the producers reconsider the rules of remuneration to include Richard's Kate Middleton-based caveat. With a weight off his shoulders, and elsewhere, Richard - used the supernatural powers of his Cursed Ring - attempts to claw back his comedy crown from the newly-insane Andrew - does he succeed? Or does he just muck about on the Internet while not paying attention? And could he answer questions on Celebrity Mastermind on the specialist subject of Anything Andrew Has Said On Today's Podcast? You decide.

In a burglarious return to Richard's attic after an extended period of podcasting in theatres, Masonic lodges, BBC studios and VW Golfs, Number 139 has a lot to process: the last ever ridiculously long and boring list of dedications to people who have given us 50p for sponsorship (yes - the last ever; deal with it); Richard's recent experience of having his life changed by an appearance on Celebrity Mastermind, a specialist subject about which we are sworn to secrecy and thus go on and on about for roughly 20 minutes but without SPOILERS; recent abuse on the website and Twitter; the withdrawal of Stephen Fry from public life; our radical and suitable change of sartorial style; and, of course, the amorphous geographical nature of Nadine Coyle's accent. This is the last ever podcast we will do*. Bye bye. (* Until next week)

God save the Queen! From the unusual, slightly spooky and arcane, Da Vinci Code-style environs of the Masonic Hall in Cardiff, we present live podcast 138, which was also filmed, by Chris Evans Not That One for future inclusion of the next CH podcast CD (which we had recorded during the day: four brand new, exclusive podcasts, plus some teen poetry). This meant two things: one, that Andrew had performed a milk-it final version of Secret Dancing as the first half and was emotionally drained by the time we sat down in our thrones to do the podcast, and two, we had the house lights up and could see the whites of the eyes of even the back row of a frankly terrified and easily offended Cardiff audience. You can see their frightened faces below. It was tremendous fun, if a little light on the news, due to neither of having much time to read any, and a certain air of tension and madness pervades. And there was a portrait of the Queen watching us throughout, from the back wall.

Collings and Herrin Podcast 137, belated, comes from the Bristol Old Vic Jam festival. Recorded in front of a patient and helpful audience at the Studio, not the main theatre, because we were 'in the round' we opted to move around, a quarter at a time, every 15 minute, so as to spread ourselves out over the full circle of the audience. It was a lovely audience, a real living 'hive mind' Wikipedia - whose knowledge actually stretched to a man called John explaining the answer to Andrew's cryptic cross word clue (after the podcast), and man we called London Irish explaining everything else, including rugby. We had fun with the smiling San Diego hippo, Paul the octopus, the Guardian's arcane Paul The Octopus headline, Richard's insistence on imagining Tony Blair's signature on Cherie Blair's tits, the actual derivation of 'Bristol Jam' and the unexpected arrival of an actual Bristol astronaut. It's all great fun. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

A surprise, unbilled, bonus, you-lucky-people podcast 136, recorded once again in the soundproof booth at 6 Music, once again with the red light on the wall mysteriously coming on halfway through. It's a funny one, and not necessarily in the ha-ha sense of the word. Andrew is in a very grouchy mood, and nothing Richard can do - call him an idiot, mock him, belittle him, argue with him, berate him for liking Stewart Lee - will lift his gloomy cloud. Except for one thing, which Richard does right at the end. You'll just have to listen to the hour and ten minute that precede it, to really appreciate the shift in tone. That means stuff about Michael Gove, Raoul Moat, Jonathan Franzen, Stewart Lee, the horrible smell at Victoria Station and the strange goings-on at 6 Music, which have yet to be resolved. Oh, and Richard's got a DVD out. Go to Go Faster Stripe to get the best deal. It's got a misplaced apostrophe on the box: can you find it?

In Podcast 135, recorded live at London's Bloomsbury Theatre, we began the show with an almost empty front row, which, after the interval, filled out a little bit, giving us some purchase on the audience, who were remarkably sweet, only booed Andrew twice, Tweeted heckles about our physical appearance, allowed us into their worlds, made 'some noise', and only one of them seemed to be concealing a weapon in a rustly carrier bag. Subjects ranged from Nazi helmets on sale in Turkey, Jeremy Clarkson's practical pump advice, Ed Milliband's look of constant surprise, the difference between a vague thought about the M40 and a theory about the M40, a certain advert for breast augmentation that's on Smooth FM, Richard's radical job interviewing technique for youth workers and the prospect of romance in a Chilean mine. Clearly, those who made the effort and paid 15 pounds had hours of exclusive content, but this is the meat and potatoes.

As if a week has passed, which it hasn't, since Podcast 133, here's another one, mostly devoted to Michael McInytre, but not in the way you think. In fact, in order to save up all the Opik-style funnies for Monday, when we take the podcast to the Bloomsbury Theatre in London, we make today's a serious discussion about fame, recognition and the comedy industry, at the top of which sits the blameless and actually very nice and funny Michael McIntyre. Fuelled only by half a lasagne, we also build an entente cordiale between Richard and Dom Joly, make a token joke about Vince Cable, ask whether it's in good taste for the Daily Mirror to photoshop lettuce onto Myra Hindley's face and consider the veracity of the breast-feeding/non-stoat teeth theory.

In Collings and Herrin Podcast 133, recorded in a professional BBC studio at 6 Music, but not on it, after our Saturday morning show, is a curious affair, moving inexorably between the Pope, Kenneth Kendall, The Inbetweeners, Dolly the sheep, breast feeding, stoat teeth, Jamie Oliver's new baby, Jack Black, Richard's new look, the fact that we are both falling apart, hessian vests, the etiquette of meeting your old tuturs, the etiquette of asking a complete stranger to take your trunks off in the changing rooms and the worrying sight of a red light coming in in the studio partway through the podcast, suggesting perhaps that our words actually went out to the nation.

Refreshed after a two-week break, we reconvene, reunite, restore, restart ... sorry, we have become obsessed with the Times cryptic crossword, and everything now feels like a clue ... back in Richard's attic for Podcast 132, an anagram of 123, and despite his decision to wear a suit for the occasion, a relaxed, chat-show vibe permeates our low-key reunion, rematch, revival, reupholstering ... sorry. There is Wayne Rooney's poor choice of prostitute to discuss, plus his poor grasp of cigarette prices; the ethics of sharing a hotel room with your advisor, or Billy Bragg; and Tony Blair's sex life, which the former prime minister and animal lover can date precisely. Most of the podcast is us trying to unravel the cryptic clues to Crossword Number 2 in The Times Crossword Book 13. Don't write in with the answers. And if the sound quality is compromised up until about minute 43, we're pretty sure Christopher Johnson was probably recording it from inside Richard's cupboard, so we'll have a replacement out within three weeks.

LOST PODCAST 123 UNLOST - WARNING AUDIOPHILES: quality is useless. For completists only. A fuzzy bootleg of the legendary lost Collings and Herrin podcast has suddenly come to light. What kind of lunatic would bootleg a podcast that was being recorded and distributed for free and then keep it to themselves for 3 weeks before sending it in? Christopher Johnson, that's who. And we are grateful to him. And only a little afraid. So now alas you will get to hear, if you listen very carefully, that we were lying to you when we said this was the best ever podcast. But there's some funny stuff in there. And some good impressions.

Edinburgh Extra! Andrew is in London, but that doesn't stop Richard pumping out another podcast. This one is a recording of him reading from and discussing his book, 'How Not To Grow Up' at Word Power bookshop, West Nicholson St, Edinburgh (it's really great there - do go if you can). There's 4 extracts from the book, plus some discussion of the themes and how it was written and then a question and answer session with the audience. Richard may have been using his phone voice in this one, because he is an author. If you like what you hear and you haven't done so already then why not buy it. Thanks to the people at Word Power for their hospitality.

In the final live Collings and Herrin Podcast from the GRV in Edinburgh, we go out in a significant lack of style. We should have ended it after 130, but no, it was almost as if we were committed to do 131, and treated it as just that: an obligation, with no joy or narrative denouement whatsoever, despite a big pile of prizes for the nicest audience members, including a Millie's Cookies loyalty card, an Apostrophe (whatever that is) loyalty card, a McDonald's loyalty card and a Piemaker loyalty card. Andrew gets booed again for mentioning the name of M*ddy - par for the course, now - Richard is sexually frustrated by the lack of women in the front row and is forced instead to imagine having a strawberry tattooed in a private place and smearing it with clotted cream, and we unearth a single X-Factor fan in our audience, and four Top Gear fans, one of whom is female. It's either the best one yet, or the worst, and certainly our last for a long, long while. So tuck in.

Family entertainment is the order of the day for live podcast 130, live from the GRV in Edinburgh, where David Milliband's banana is gazed upon with wonder and confusion. Richard Herrin was eclipsed by the much nicer Richard Herring, who was not only nice to the entire tattooed family in the front row, he offered his own hand in marriage to the mum, so that he could be a thoughtful stepfather to her children, and her son's girlfriend. Meanwhile, Andrew accidentally says the rudest thing, and is booed once again under false pretenses. ('Please make the pain stop.') There is a scientific biscuit survey, an impression of a giant reading a tiny newspaper, and an impromptu version of Mr and Mrs. It's almost suitable for the afternoon.

A mood of niceness prevails over Podcast 129, seventh out of ten live shows at the Edinburgh Fringe, except for the bits about golden showers, which means 'playful' Richard is full of compliments to at least one couple in the front row, gives another couple a relatively light grilling - mainly because one of them is carrying a big stick - and actually admits to Andrew that his solo show is 'quite good'. We have harmless family fun with the Wankdorf stadium in Bern, Switzerland; Posh and Becks Beckham and their drive to appear more sympathetic to people who are out of work in the recession; Alex Jones' magic pants; Kings Of Leon's pigeon shit nightmare; and the increasingly fishy giant rat scam in Bradford. Also, why a man at the Daily Mail wants to kill his own pet. They hate animals, don't they?