The Empty Arms Podcast -- real stories of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss.

Fifteen years ago, Chris lost his daughter Madison, a loss that seemed unbearable yet quietly simmered beneath the surface of his life. For years, he felt the pressure of grief's unrelenting voice that told him he didn't suffer enough. That he hadn't truly faced the depth of his pain and that he should feel guilty for not being there when Madison died. He wrestled with shame, guilt, and the sense that he was "doing grief wrong." Over time, though, Chris discovered that grief is not a measure of suffering, it's a journey, unique to each person, shaped by perspective, patience, and self-compassion. He shares how the slow passage of time, the courage to feel, and the practice of honoring his emotions transformed his relationship with loss. What once felt like a relentless judgment became a teacher, guiding him toward healing, acceptance, and a deeper understanding of love and memory. Now, through his writing and work supporting others, Chris encourages those navigating grief to trust their own process, to feel what they need to feel, and to recognize that suffering is not a failure, but that it's part of a path that can ultimately lead to meaning, growth, and connection. This episode is sponsored by Bould Point Lakehouse. Check out their AirBNB here. Modern Lakehouse on Quiet Peninsula - Houses for Rent in Lakeville, Maine, United States - Airbnb

What does it really look like to survive the first year after losing your baby? In this deeply honest and tender conversation, Emlee shares the story of her son, Theo, who was stillborn at full term, a loss that shattered the world she and her husband knew. Together, they were forced to navigate not only unimaginable grief, but also the strain it placed on their relationship, their identities, and their mental health. Emlee opens up about the quiet, often unseen battles of that first year—the weight of each milestone, the loneliness, the questions, and the ways grief can seep into every corner of life. She speaks candidly about her mental health struggles, the moments she didn't think she'd make it through, and the slow, fragile process of finding her footing again. This episode is raw, real, and deeply validating for anyone walking through life after loss. It's about survival, love, and what it means to keep going when everything in you has been forever changed. This episode was sponosored by an annonymous donor. 

In this episode of The Empty Arms Podcast, I sit down with Emily Souder, LCSW-C, PMH-C and Mahaley Patel, LMFT, PMH-C, co-creators of Your NICU Story, a powerful journal to help families process their NICU stay. Together, we explore the power of storytelling in grief, the importance of naming experiences that often feel unspeakable, and how words can become a lifeline for families navigating loss. Mahaley shares the story of her daughter, who died in the NICU, and the profound heartbreak of loving a child in a space filled with machines, uncertainty, hope, and fear. We talk about what it means to parent in the NICU, to grieve within it, and to carry that experience long after leaving its walls. We are also incredibly lucky to have Emily's perspective. She is certified in Perinatal Mental Health and brings to the conversation a wealth of theraputic knowledge. Her professional insight on grief adds depth and understanding to the conversation, helping guide listeners through the emotional terrain of NICU loss and remembrance. Additionally, we dive into Emily's book, Birth Story Held for Loss, discussing how writing can provide a path toward healing and the importance of honoring every story, no matter how painful. This episode holds space for NICU parents, loss parents, and anyone who has been changed by a beginning that didn't go as planned, offering compassion, understanding, and the reminder that every story matters. You can find the books here!  Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience: Patel, Mahaley H., Souder, Emily E.: 9781734630930: Amazon.com: Books Birth Story Held for Loss: A Guide for Reflecting on Your Fertility Experience, Miscarriage, Abortion, TFMR, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss: Souder, Emily, Brandon, Jodi: 9781734630923: Amazon.com: Books  

After loss, joy can feel impossibly far away. But what if rediscovering joy isn't about moving on but about carrying love forward? In this episode, I sit down with Hannah Joy, a mother who has learned that the intentional search for joy can be one of the most powerful ways to honor her daughter's legacy. Hannah shares her journey through grief and the turning point when she realized she didn't want her daughter's life to be remembered only through sadness. With honesty and grace, she offers practical advice on how to begin picking up the pieces after loss, how time and perspective gently shift the heart, and how joy — even the smallest glimmers — can become a sacred act of remembrance. This conversation is a reminder that joy and grief can coexist and that finding joy again is not forgetting, but remembering with love. This Episode is sponsored by Mama Media. 

On this episode of The Empty Arms Podcast, Hailey shares her heartbreaking and deeply honest journey of loss, longing, and love. After years of trying to have a baby and multiple rounds of IVF, Hailey finally became pregnant with her daughter, Isla. At 26 weeks, she tragically lost her. The grief was overwhelming, compounded by previous losses, and left her living in a world without children, a place filled with invisible motherhood and quiet longing. Through her pain, Hailey has created Isla's Embrace, a project dedicated to meeting other loss families where they are, helping them feel seen, supported, and less alone. Her story is raw, heart-wrenching, and full of love for families who haven't yet received their rainbow. Hailey's honesty is a vital reminder that not every mother gets her rainbow, and some carry this grief forever. But even in that sorrow, connection and meaning can grow. This episode is brought to you by Black Bear Cinemas. 

In this episode, I sit down with Stacey — a woman who is no stranger to grief and has turned her own pain into purpose. Through her healing journey, Stacey discovered the incredible comfort and connection that therapy dogs can bring. She's since built a powerful therapy dog program through her local hospital, creating moments of joy, peace, and healing for patients, families, and staff alike. Together, Stacey and her loyal therapy dog partner, Koda, are spreading love and light in the most beautiful ways. We talk about how animals have a remarkable ability to connect with people on a soul-deep level, often offering support without a single word. Their story is one of resilience, hope, and the gentle power of four paws and a compassionate heart. This episode is sponosored by Harbor of Hope Counseling, owned and operated by Nathaniel W. Lutz, LCPC.

In this deeply moving episode, I am joined by five brave women who share their stories of ectopic pregnancy loss -- a type of loss that is not only emotionally devastating, but physically life threatening. These women open up about the intense physical pain, the medical emergencies, the surgeries, and the heartbreaking aftermath that followed.  For some, it was their first loss. For others, it was one of many hurdles in a long fertility journey. Each voice adds power to a conversation that is all too often left in the dark. Together, we shine a light on what it means to grieve a pregnancy that never had a chance to grow, and the toll it takes to survive it.  Whether you've experienced this kind of loss yourself, or love someone who has walked this type of pregnancy loss, this episode offers understanding, solidarity, and truth.  A special thank you to Meagan, Laurie, Misha, Alicia & Katie.  This episode is sponsored by Pierce Photo & Studio. 

In this powerful and deeply honest episode, I'm joined by five incredibly brave women who have all experienced early pregnancy loss. Together, we sit in the heaviness, the honesty, and the silence that so often surrounds early miscarriage — a type of loss that is common, yet still so misunderstood and rarely spoken about. Each woman brings her unique story — the moment everything changed, the physical toll their bodies endured, the emotional rollercoaster, and the isolation that often follows. We talk about the grief that shows up in unexpected ways, the anger, the guilt, and the question so many parents of early loss ask: "Was it enough to matter?" This episode is not easy. But it is necessary. If you've experienced early miscarriage, or love someone who has, this conversation is a reminder that you are not alone — and that your grief is valid, no matter how early your loss occurred. Listen with your heart open. Share with someone who needs it. A special thanks to Corinne, Kristy, Ashley, Sarah & Bethany. This episode is in loving memory of Cooper Anthony Black; deeply loved, forever missed.   

This week, I'm joined by Janel St. Peter—an incredible woman whose story is as heartbreaking as it is powerful. Janel opens up about her long and emotional journey through PCOS, ectopic pregnancies, and failed rounds of IVF. With raw honesty, she shares the grief, frustration, and isolation that can come with trying to conceive in a body that doesn't follow the rules. But Janel's story doesn't end with loss—it grows into advocacy. Fueled by her own experiences, she has become a fierce voice for women's reproductive rights and the right to be heard, supported, and believed. If you've ever felt alone in your fertility struggles, or if you care about the future of reproductive healthcare, this conversation will move you, validate you, and maybe even light a fire in you. This episode is sponosred by Downtown Charcuterie.

Mother's Day is a beautiful celebration — but for many, it's also a day heavy with grief. In this special episode, we hold space for loss moms who carry motherhood in their hearts rather than their arms. These brave mothers read letters written to their babies who have died — letters full of love, longing, and the kind of strength that only comes from living with unimaginable loss. This episode is a tribute to the babies who are forever missed, and to the moms who never stop loving them. You are not alone and your grief deserves a voice. This episode is sponosred by Breezy Photography. 

This week, we're joined by award-winning author and psychologist Dr. Jessica Zucker, whose groundbreaking book "I Had a Miscarriage" sparked a global conversation around pregnancy loss and grief. Jessica joins me on the podcast to share insights from her powerful new release, "Normalize It!" — a bold call to break the silence, challenge stigma, and embrace honest conversations about reproductive experiences. Tune in as we talk healing, storytelling, and how vulnerability can lead to profound connection and cultural change. You won't want to miss this one. This episode is sponsored by Breezy Photography.

This week on the podcast, we're joined by the deeply compassionate Lolo Paz, founder of A Soulful Sorrow. In this conversation, we walk through her powerful Instagram post, "5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself After Pregnancy Loss,"and unpack each of the five practices that can offer real comfort and healing after loss. From resting without guilt to honoring your loss in meaningful ways, Lauren shares wise, grounded, and deeply practical insights that every grieving parent deserves to hear. This episode is an invitation to give yourself the space, support, and care you need — and a reminder that you don't have to do it alone. Take a deep breath, press play, and let this be one small step toward tending to your heart. You are so worthy of that care. A Soulful Sorrow can be found here -- https://www.asoulfulsorrow.com. This episode is sponosred by Breezy Photography. https://www.breezy-photography.com/packages/

In this deeply personal and emotional episode, Kelly bravely shares her journey through recurrent pregnancy loss, experiencing the heartbreak of five miscarriages. She opens up about the physical and emotional toll, the hope that carried her forward, and the grief that often felt impossible to navigate. She describes the rollercoaster of emotions—the soaring hope with each positive test, the anxiety that crept in, and the devastating crashes that followed. The constant cycle of excitement, fear, and grief took a toll, leaving her wondering if she had the strength to keep going. Together, we talk about the ways loss reshapes us, the struggle of feeling out of control of our own lives, and the search for answers in a world that doesn't always have them. Kelly's honesty is raw and real, offering comfort to those who have walked a similar path and shedding light for those who are lost in the darkness of recurrent pregnancy loss grief. This episode is sponosored by Crossfit Bangor. 

In this powerful episode, Kelly shares her heartbreaking journey of losing her 4th pregnancy, a baby boy named Jonah, at 16 weeks. At a routine appointment, Kelly was told there was no heartbeat, shattering her world. But amidst the devastation, she found strength, healing, and meaningful ways to honor Jonah's life. Keeping Jonah's memory alive, both for herself and for her four living sons and husband, has become a huge piece of her healing journey. Kelly shares with us many ways in which she continues to honor his life.   Shortly after her loss, Kelly courageously became pregnant again with another baby boy, and today she holds him in her arms. This episode is about the courage it takes to carry again after loss, the heartbreak when life doesn't go as planned, and the incredible grit and determination to keep moving forward even in the darkest of times. Join us for an inspiring conversation about hope, healing, and the power of perseverance. This episode is sponsored by Farmhouse Coffee Roasters. 

In this powerful episode, I sit down with my dear friend and fellow board membe Jenna, a mother who knows the depths of unimaginable loss. Jenna's son, Tripp, was born after a terrifying delivery and spent ten days in the NICU before she faced the unthinkable—leaving the hospital without him. She shares how that moment went against everything biological in her body, how the weight of grief felt impossible to survive, and how she didn't just lose a baby—she lost an entire lifetime she had envisioned. But Jenna's story is also one of transformation. Ten years later, she continues to honor Tripp's memory through Tripp's 10 Days of Giving, sponsoring a classroom each year to represent the grade he would be in. She speaks about turning her grief into passion, using his name for good, and ensuring his legacy lives on. And in the most heartfelt ending, she shares the one thing she would tell Tripp if she could—"I would find you and choose you in every lifetime." This is an episode about grief, resilience, and love that never fades. Tune in for a conversation that will stay with you long after it ends. 🎧💙 #TrippsLegacy #GriefToPassion #InfantLossAwareness

In this podcast episode, Deana shares her heartbreaking journey of losing her son Rett to cancer at just 10 months old. Everett 'Rett' Cavan was diagnosed with a Malignant Rhabdoid Tumor at six months old. This aggressive cancer would take Rett's life in less than four months—despite having access to the best doctors and treatment plans available. She reflects on the emotional rollercoaster of receiving Rett's cancer diagnosis, navigating through his treatment, as well as the profound challenge of accepting that her son was not going to survive.  In the nine years since Rett's passing, Deana and her husband have channeled their grief into creating a non-profit organization. The non-profit offers holistic retreats and meaningful gatherings that foster connection, honor the grieving process, and emphasize the healing power of love. Deana's story is one of resilience, profound loss, and the transformative journey of turning grief into something that supports others. This episode is sponsored by Rett's Roost. https://rettsroost.org

In this episode, I sit down with Lindsay Dolloff, an OB nurse whose journey through loss has reshaped her perspective both personally and professionally. Diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, Lindsay was encouraged to start trying for a baby right away. She and her husband were thrilled to conceive quickly, but their joy was short-lived. Lindsay experienced a partial molar pregnancy, an incredibly rare and devastating complication, which resulted in a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Her loss was compounded by months of regular blood work and followup care.  Through it all, Lindsay found a way to channel her pain into purpose. She shares how her loss has made her a more empathetic OB nurse, allowing her to connect deeply with her patients. As a passionate member of Empty Arms, Lindsay has not only shared her story but has also played a pivotal role in creating a TTC (Trying to Conceive) support group, offering hope and guidance to others navigating similar struggles. In this episode, we explore the courage it takes to live your loss out loud. Lindsay delves into how openly sharing her journey has been an act of courage, allowing her to reclaim her story and find meaning in her pain. By speaking about her experience, she not only fosters healing for herself but also creates space for others to feel seen and understood. Living your loss out loud is about breaking the silence around grief, embracing vulnerability, and finding strength in community. Lindsay's story is a testament to the power of shared experiences and the hope that can emerge when we allow ourselves to be truly seen. This episode is sponosred by First National Wealth Management.

In this moving episode the love stays, Sara Rian shares her journey of navigating grief and transforming it into art and healing. A grief poet and therapist, Sara turned to poetry after the traumatic suicide of her mother, channeling her pain into words that resonate with countless others experiencing loss. Through her work, she highlights how grief, no matter its origin, connects us through shared emotions and the longing for what could have been. Sara also reflects on her role as a sister and an aunt, deeply affected by the loss of her niece, Sahara, who passed at 17 weeks. The parallels between these losses—though vastly different in circumstance—reveal the universal truths of grief: love, longing, and the need for community and remembrance. The episode explores how grief doesn't adhere to hierarchies or comparisons; instead, it carves a unique yet familiar path for each person. Whether mourning a parent, a child, or anyone in between, Sara emphasizes that the rawness of loss carries common threads: a yearning for connection, the challenge of finding meaning, and the power of honoring memories through creative expression. By sharing her poetry, her personal story, and the lessons grief has taught her, Sara invites listeners to see grief as both deeply personal and profoundly unifying—a space where we can all find connection and hope. The love stays is about exactly that; though the person you loved is gone, the love you shared always stays.

In this episode, we sit down with Emily Long, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, author, and fierce advocate for grieving parents, as she shares her story of unimaginable loss and the journey toward healing. Emily's life has been marked by deep sorrow, from the passing of her fiancé and their unborn child to the struggles she's faced with depression and grief. Yet through the darkest times, she discovered a powerful truth: speaking the unspeakable—the heartbreak we often bury deep within—can be a catalyst for healing. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to release the weight of silent sorrow and find strength through vulnerability. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, join us as we explore the courage it takes to honor our losses out loud—and the unbreakable hope that comes when we do. This episode is sponosred by True North Chiropractic. 

In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with two remarkable women who share an unimaginable bond. One day, co-coworkers. The next, loss moms walking this journey alongside of eachother. Just 12 days apart, they each lost their daughters in the third trimester of pregnancy.  Together, we explore their individual journeys of grief and how losing their daughters changed their lives forever. Their vulnerability shines through as they share the heart-wrenching moments of their losses and the strength they found in one another. This episode is a testament to the unbreakable connection that can form through shared experiences, no matter how painful. We also discuss the critical role community plays in grief, and how, by sharing the weight of their sorrow, they were able to heal just a little bit more. Their story is a reminder that while grief may feel isolating, finding someone who truly understands can be the first step towards light. This is a conversation about grief, connection, and the incredible strength found in the most unexpected of places. This episode is sponsored by Snowman Printing Group. 

In this episode, I had the profound honor of sitting down with Jaime and Gina, two incredible sonographers and loss moms who serve as a vital lifeline for grieving parents in our community. As professionals who work closely with bereaved families, they open up about the deeply emotional nature of their work and how their personal experiences as loss moms shape the care and compassion they bring to each family they support. Jaime and Gina provide powerful insights into the heartache of their profession—being with parents at the most devastating moments of their lives—while also sharing how, through their partnership with Empty Arms, they are able to offer hope and healing. They speak about the delicate balance between their own grief and the strength they find to help others, all while acknowledging the profound impact that loss has on the families they work with and on themselves as caregivers. Throughout the conversation, we explore how Empty Arms has been a key resource, allowing them to not only offer clinical care but also emotional and spiritual support to those navigating pregnancy and infant loss. Their stories are a testament to the importance of empathy, community, and shared understanding in the grieving process. This episode is sponosred by Downeast OBGYN.

In this deeply moving episode of "Unbreakable Hope," we delve into the extraordinary journey of one remarkable mother who faced unimaginable heartbreak and yet remained steadfast in her hope for the future. Our guest Alicia, a mother who has navigated the tumultuous waters of seven heartbreaking losses and three adoptions, shares her poignant story of grief, faith, and unbreakable hope. From the very beginning, her story captures the raw essence of what it means to endure profound sorrow. Each loss was a deep, personal tragedy, yet through the tears and despair, she found solace and strength in her faith. This episode paints a vivid picture of a woman who, despite the crushing weight of her experiences, never lost sight of the light that guided her—her hope in God and her belief in a future filled with promise. The journey through adoption added a new layer of complexity and beauty to her narrative. Each adoption was not just a new beginning but a profound act of love and faith—a way of embracing the future despite the shadows of the past. The way she describes these moments of joy interspersed with her ongoing sorrow offers a powerful reminder that the human spirit can find light even when surrounded by darkness. This episode is sponsored by The Learning Garden.   

Amber joins the podcast to talk about her daughter Nash, the precious one she lost at birth. Amber talks with me about her pregnancy, the devastating diagnosis Nash received while in utero, the ways she coped with navigating the grief that news brought as well as her experience delivering and ultimately saying goodbye to the daughter her heart longed to keep. Amber bravely talks about how her and her family continue to keep her late daughter's legacy alive in all the places her absence is felt so profoundly.  This episode is generously sponosored by Maguire Carpentry & Roofing. 

Jenny Davidson joins me on the podcast. In addition to making BBC's 100 Women in 2018, Jenny is a fierce advocate for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, human trafficking and aged-out foster youth. This passion for making the world a better place for the children that get to stay comes deep from within her own heart and soul as she too carries several babies in her heart and not her arms.  Through her experience of traveling the path of loss, Jenny openly shares with us the heartache she experienced through her sons Trisomy 18 diagnosis, the joy in his birth and the devastation she felt after he lived just 32 hours and 7 minutes. Her heartache didn't stop there as she continued on to have several miscarriages after the loss of her son. Through it all, Jenny clung to the hope that she could use her own tragic experience to make this world a better place for so many.  Jenny is the founder and current CEO of AcademySTAY, a non-profit dedicated to helping 18-24 year old aged-out foster youth who are trying to pursue a secondary education. Prior to this, Jenny was the CEO/ Executive Director at Stand Up Placer, an organzation committed to standing up and education communities against domestic violence, sexual assault and human trafficking. Jenny is a remarkable woman and I am so thrilled to have her on the podcast.  https://www.bbc.com/news/world-46225037 https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennydavidsonmba/ https://www.academystay.org https://standupplacer.org  

Misha is no stranger to the havoc pregnancy loss and infertility can wrek on a woman and a marriage. Misha joins me on the podcast to share her own experience of walking through storm after storm as her and her partner began the process of starting their family. After years of unsuccessfully getting pregnant on her own, she began walking through IVF, a decision that came with many reservations and lots of cultural shame.  Through it all, Misha clung to the hope that one day, her rainbow baby would be in her arms. As a hispanic woman, Misha found that throughout her journey, she longed for women's voices like hers to speak into the most dark corners of her journey. When she continually came up short and was unable to find those voices, Misha found her own and decided to write a book to both inspire and encourage the women of her culture and beyond.  During her years' long period of treatments to face infertility and pregnancy loss, Vargas wrote letters to capture her memories and deal with her intense emotions. Cartas A Mi Hijo No Nacido (Letters to my Unborn Son) reveals the vulnerability and complexity of experiences that are often hidden in public conversations about motherhood. This is the story of a young woman's unforgettable journey from desperation to hope, and –ultimately – to joy. https://www.penbaypilot.com/article/author-misha-vargas-discuss-cartas-mi-hijo-no-nacido-march-10/183664 Misha's book can be purcahsed here. https://a.co/d/0gG0u3W9  The episode is sponosored by Holly No. 7 Birthing Center in Bangor, Maine. 

Though Ryan came into this world at a mere 2 lbs, he sure took up a tremendous amount of space in his families heart. Deb Dilworth, a fellow loss mom and current board member of Empty Arms of Greater Bangor comes on the podcast and shares her story of navigating the birth of a child with Trisomy 18. Ryan lived 5 weeks and in that time, changed the course of Deb and her husbands life. Deb shares with us the joy in his birth, the heartache in his loss and the ways in which her family have navigated loss in the decades that have passed since his death. Clinging to her strong faith, Deb beautifully recounts Ryan's life and shares with us how her sons Trisomy 18 diagnosis impacted not just her but her husband and her living children. A beautiful conversation about life, loss, love and everything in-between.    This episode is sponsored by Ski Rack Sports in Bangor, Maine. 

This week, for a special Father's Day episode, I chat with Rob, Chris & Jay. These guys are the founders and the heart and soul of The Sad Dad's Club. The Sad Dad's club is a non-profit based out of Southern Maine that helps fellow bereaved fathers navigate life after loss by nurturing a supportive community and providing access to mental health services.  We talk about each of these guys' respective losses, gain insight as to the father's perspective through the grieving process as well as talk about the importance of access to mens mental health services through and after the loss of a child.  If you are a dad that has experienced loss at any point in your journey and wish to connect with Sad Dad's club, you can visit them on the web at https://saddadsclub.com or send them an email at [email protected].  This epsisode is in loving memory of Bella, Lila & Izzy. You girls are deeply loved and greatly missed. While you cannot be here in your families arms, your legacy continues to create profound ripples throughout the loss community. 

From the beginning of her career, Elise has been drawn to families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss. Her innate ability to nurture and comfort others in their grief has guided Elise through many different positions in the nursing field, including postpartum labor and delivery as well as working in the NICU. On this episode, Elise opens up about her experience with helping families navigate loss. She also talks about the sacredness and connection she feels when sharing the loss experience with bereaved parents. While always making sure her patients physical needs are met, Elise hones in on the emotional needs that arise when meeting families who have had to say goodbye too soon. With professionalism and a tender heart, Elise details beautifully her love for loss families and gives our listeners hope that healthcare for bereaved parents is improving because of loving and compassionate nurses like herself.

Loss mom, it has been an honor and privilege reading these letters to you this week. I am so profoundly touched at the love and hope so many loss moms wrote in with. I am so touched by the kindness and healing written from the hearts of moms who at one point in their journey didn't think they could take another breath. Loss mom, if nothing else sticks from this series, please let this stick. You are not alone.  I finish this episode with my letter to each of you. You are loved. Your baby is loved. You are not alone.  One of the letters read on this episode was taken from a beautiful book that we hold dear at the non-profit. The book is called "From Mother to Mother: On the loss of a child" and is written by Emily R. Long. The book can be purchased here https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Loss-Child/dp/0996555676/ref=asc_df_0996555676/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693685197992&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6685245597402821148&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9002695&hvtargid=pla-559221771581&psc=1&mcid=4871186681b43199b10b9f97e07ed7a8&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtW_Zx2aa--RFlU08FSj2Wuf7SJDnZU0vxElb2Jl1lDFjFedA5SYqbekhERoCYXMQAvD_BwE.

Today, we think about and hold tight the mothers who might be experiencing Mother's Day for the first time without her precious baby in her arms. I want to share with you some comfort that I have found along the way as you prepare to face your first mothers day without your baby. No matter how long or short you carried your baby in your womb or in your arms, you are that Childs mothers. Tune in as I continue sharing ways in which you can gently celebrate Mother's Day this year, followed by several love letters. One of the letters read on this episode was taken from a beautiful book that we hold dear at the non-profit. The book is called "From Mother to Mother: On the loss of a child" and is written by Emily R. Long. The book can be purchased here https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Loss-Child/dp/0996555676/ref=asc_df_0996555676/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693685197992&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6685245597402821148&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9002695&hvtargid=pla-559221771581&psc=1&mcid=4871186681b43199b10b9f97e07ed7a8&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtW_Zx2aa--RFlU08FSj2Wuf7SJDnZU0vxElb2Jl1lDFjFedA5SYqbekhERoCYXMQAvD_BwE. 

One thing that struck me about the letters that I received was how many I got from loss moms making special mention or thanking the loss moms who came before us. Today's episode is dedicated to the mothers who paved the way, the grandmothers who pioneered what it meant to be 1 in 4.  One of the letters read on this episode was taken from a beautiful book that we hold dear at the non-profit. The book is called "From Mother to Mother: On the loss of a child" and is written by Emily R. Long. The book can be purchased here https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Loss-Child/dp/0996555676/ref=asc_df_0996555676/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693685197992&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6685245597402821148&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9002695&hvtargid=pla-559221771581&psc=1&mcid=4871186681b43199b10b9f97e07ed7a8&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtW_Zx2aa--RFlU08FSj2Wuf7SJDnZU0vxElb2Jl1lDFjFedA5SYqbekhERoCYXMQAvD_BwE. 

Be sure not to miss this 6 part series as we lead up to Mother's Day. Surviving the loss of your child is a pain unlike most that people experience in their life. It is not only the tangible loss of your child but the dreams and hopes that you have for your life and that baby, gone too. Not many understand what it feels like to mourn the loss of a future but you do. You know what it feels like to measure milestones based on how many moments have been missed. You keep track of birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. You are acutely aware of how much time has passed since the last time you held your baby in your arms or in your womb. Loss changes us.  One of the letters read on this episode was taken from a beautiful book that we hold dear at the non-profit. The book is called "From Mother to Mother: On the loss of a child" and is written by Emily R. Long. The book can be purchased here https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Loss-Child/dp/0996555676/ref=asc_df_0996555676/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693685197992&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6685245597402821148&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9002695&hvtargid=pla-559221771581&psc=1&mcid=4871186681b43199b10b9f97e07ed7a8&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwouexBhAuEiwAtW_Zx2aa--RFlU08FSj2Wuf7SJDnZU0vxElb2Jl1lDFjFedA5SYqbekhERoCYXMQAvD_BwE. Thank you, Emily, for your beautiful letter. 

Be sure not to miss this 6 part series as we lead up to Mother's Day. I know this deep pain leading up to Mother's Day because my own arms ache in the absence of our babies that were taken from us too soon.  For three years, mothers day has represented emptiness on a day in which the fullness of motherhood is intended to be celebrated. Instead of immeasurable joy, I wake feeling insurmountable pain. The tears that stream down my face on the days that lead up to motherhood represent a grief unlike anything I've experienced. The letters I read on this epsiode are filled with love and hope as you, loss mom, prepare your heart for Sunday. 

Be sure not to miss this 6 part series as we lead up to Mother's Day. Loss is a thread that ties generations of women together. Our mothers before us, our friends and sisters beside us and our daughters ahead of us - none immune from loss. And because of this beautiful bond we share as loss mothers, I have asked our sisters and mothers and grandmothers amongst us to write us love letters. The letters I will read this week are filled with hope, with love, with heartache and healing. I hope these letters meet you exactly where you are at in your motherhood journey as you prepare your heart for Mother's Day. 

Join us as I - the host of the Empty Arms Podcast - share my story. Erin Hatch joins me and we switch seats as she interviews me and asks me deep questions about loss, about grief and about purpose.  After TWO heartbreaking back to back losses, I found myself in a place where I could either drown from the pain or use it to bring forth light and healing into the lives of others like me who hold a baby in their heart and not their arms. I spend time with Erin talking about my experience through both of my losses, regrets that I have as well as the direction my life has taken after my losses, including serving on the board as well as launching this podcast.  This episode is generously sponsored by Tiller & Rye. 

Taryn's daughter June was diagnosed with Stage IV HR MYCN amplified neuroblastoma when she was just 8 months old after many months of sleepless nights and a mother's instinctual worry. Taryn recounts the early days of the diagnosis, the rollercoaster of emotions she felt along the journey and then openly discusses the depths of grief she experienced after her daughters passing as well as the tumultuous healing journey she began when her daugther died and continues to walk.  And while her story is filled with heartache and loss - its also filled with tremendous hope, beautiful healing and a passion that has been ignited within her soul along her own healing journey. Her words are tender, her voice is soft, her openness is admirable.  Taryn has used written word to heal. And healing it has done. She shares her blog that she often updates that can be found here. https://carryingjune.com Her writing shows us that are seeking hope that it's possible to dance with grief and hope and to carry on to live a meaningful life after such devastating loss.  While pregnancy and infant loss is the primary focus of the non-profit, a mother's grief is the commonality amongst us all. It's the invisible string that ties us together. And while Taryn's story falls a little bit outside of the "norm" of content we typically stick to - her story is too beautiful and moving to not be told. Her story is too full of hope and encouragement not to share with all of you! I hope you leave this conversation as touched as I was.  This episode is generously sponsored by Rett's Roost. https://rettsroost.org  

Kayla's son Milo was diagnosed with a massive tumor on his neck while in utero. It was determined during testing that Dr. Christopher Hartnick, an Otolaryngologist who specializes in pediatric care, would be a part of the amazing team working to save the life of both Kayla and Milo.  While determining the roadmap in which to safely bring Milo into this world, it was decided that Milo had to make it to 32 weeks in order for Dr. Hartnick to do whats called an EXIT procedure. You can read more about the procedure as well as Kayla's story here in an article written by Dr. Hartnick called "Whose life do I prioritize? A choice no parent wants to make." This article was written on Aug. 30, 2022 and can be found here. https://www.statnews.com/2022/08/30/whose-life-do-i-prioritize-a-choice-no-parent-wants-to-make/ In a devastating turn of events, Kayla went into labor at 28 weeks and ultimately, Dr. Hartnick was unable to save Milo due to the fact that the tumor never allowed the proper airway to develop while in utero. Dr. Hartnick talks about what it's like to walk a loss family through this experience and the toll it takes on him as a human being having to witness such loss. Kayla and Dr. Hartnick tenderly replay what transpired with Milo and how the conversation around pregnancy and infant loss impacts the medical world. It is a beautiful conversation between a loss mom and her doctor.  This episode is sponsored by 207 Wellness. They can be reached at 207-949-6589.

Laura found out 16 years ago that she was carrying a son whom she named Willows. Her and her then long distance boyfriend (now husband) found out pretty early on in their pregnancy that Willows had a heart condition that would ultimately result in his devastating death. Through deep introspection and strength, Laura and Eric decided that they would carry this son to the end or whatever time that allowed and clung to hope that maybe the doctors and his diagnosis was wrong.  To everyones surprise, Willows not only survived pregnancy but gifted his parents with 30 minutes of life. His final breath was in the arms of his parents, a moment Laura talks about with tenderness. In those 30 minutes of life, he taught Laura and Eric so much about choice, love and loss. Laura spends time with me on this episode sharing the deep heartache of carrying a baby in her heart and the ways in which she had to grow and learn to live with Willows' absence. Even in loss, Laura has learned to live life with meaning, purpose and a deep sense of hope that she beautifully shares with our listeners.  Laura has so graciously offered her email address to anyone who might be going through a similar situation or are searching for someone to talk to who might understand this deep heartache. Laura can be reached at [email protected]. This episode is generously sponsored by Kindred Spirits Veterinary Clinic. Check them out at https://kindredvet.com. 

There is no world in which Alyssa could have imagined living in without her daughter, Mariana. But at 38 weeks pregnant, Alyssa had to say goodbye. In this episode, Alyssa talks about the moments leading up to finding out there was no heartbeat as well as the devastating process of delivering her daughter stillborn. Alyssa also talks about her incredibly traumatic birth and how that has impacted her in the years since.  Alyssa speaks with bravery and empathy for others who might be facing the unimaginable tragedy of losing a baby at birth. While so many questions remain unanswered, Alyssa couragously navigates life after loss with a peace that has come from healing and time.  This episode is generously sponosred by Stage Presence for Dancers located in Winslow, Maine.

After Brittney and her husband got married, they pursued starting a family like so many others. Little did they know that their journey to parenthood would be filled with several early misscarriages as well as the decision to medically terminate their daughter who was diagnosed with a terminal illness in utero.  Brittney talks with me about the early losses and they ways those impacted her early on their journey to starting a family. She then goes on to share that her final pregnancy would come to a devastating end with a terminal diagnosis and the subsequent decision to medically terminate their daughter who was diagnosed with Fetal Hydrops from a Cystic Hygroma caused from severe Turner's Syndrome. Her story is filled with heartache and love for her beloved daughter Ellie-Mae. While no parent could ever be prepared to make such a difficult decision, Brittney walks this path with courage and bravery as she shares her story with us.  This episode is sponsored by 207 Wellness. 207 Wellness is a local business in Veazie, Maine that specializes in helping clients meet their health goals. 

Deb Neuman joins me on the podcast! Deb is the President & CEO of the Bangor Region Chamber of Commerce. Her list of professional accomplishments is long and for good reason. Deb is a remarkable woman in the Bangor Region and has found success in leading others while serving causes greater than herself.    It's been 35 years since her losses and Deb still remembers the clothes she was wearing and where she was standing when she began miscarrying her first pregnancy at 14 weeks. And tragically, Deb would go on to miscarry once more, this time twins, again at 14 weeks.   Deb and I recount the losses, the unexpected twists and turns of life as well as the deep grief left behind by such precious love. Deb shares with us life after her losses and her surprising journey to motherhood which looked nothing like she planned but ended up being far beyond what she could have imagined. Though her losses were decades ago, Deb bravely opens up about her heartache and leaves our listeners and loss community with beautiful wisdom, perspective, hope and laughter!   This episode is generously sponsored by Amy's Gardens & Greenhouses. Amy's Gardens and Greenhouses is a female owned loval business that offers a variety of annual flowers, hanging baskets and organic vegetable seedlings. Find them on Facebook and Instagram for updates and announcements on the upcoming 2024 season. Thank you, Amy! 

In this episode I interview Kat Sodawasser. Kat is a two-time loss mom who lives in Nebraska. Many years ago, Kat and I crossed paths through a mutual friend. Nine years later we reconnect over two parallel losses and a rainbow baby. Kat opens her heart and shares with us the details of her first miscarriage along with the sadness that followed. Her and her husband would try for another baby and get pregnant with Charlotte in 2021. Kat would find out in her second trimester that she has Incompetent Cervix which would ultimately result in the tragic and abrupt loss of their daughter. Deeply loved and desperately wanted, Charlotte's loss would bring forth a grief unlike anything Kat had ever experienced. Through her babies short lives, however, Kat shares with us the lessons she's learned about loss and love, the sweetness of friendship and how to navigate this life without holding those precious babies in her arms. Always the mother to her first two babies and now the mother to her rainbow baby Jayden, Kat offers hope and love to other loss families who may be facing the same reality.  Kat shares with us the special bond she and her husband had with Kat's OB - Dr. Karen Lauer-Silva. She also shares with us that Dr. Karen Lauer-Silva tragically passed away just after the birth of their son Jayden in 2022. We collectively, as a loss community, pause and remember the incredibly kind and loving woman that Dr. Lauer-Silva was. We thank her for her tireless work in women's health and dedicate this episode to her in hers and Charlotte's memory.  This episode is generously sponsored by MECCA Visuals. MECCA Visuals is owned and operated by Travis Maynard who is the mutual friend of Kat and I - the one who brought us together so many years ago.   

In this episode, I spend time with Erin Hatch as together we tackle the unimaginable heartache that comes from carrying a baby in your heart and not your arms. Erin has walked through the loss of her twin boys, Mason & Marshall in 2015 with several subsequent losses thereafter. We discuss the suprise adoption of her son Maddox as well as the gift of her daughters and the rollercoaster of pregnancy after loss. We explore the deep feelings of grief while searching for hope around each corner of life. Erin Hatch is the President of the Board of Directors of the non-profit, Empty Arms of Greater Bangor. If you are curious about the non-profit or wish to be a guest on our podcast, please visit us at www.emptyarmsbangor.org.