The Gay Relationship Podcast

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Andrew Gurza (they/he), an award-winning disability awareness consultant, author, and podcast host of Disability After Dark. What happens when desire, disability, and queer identity intersect? In this conversation, Andrew shares an unfiltered look at dating, intimacy, and ableism in the gay community. Together, they explore why so many queer men struggle with connection, how bias shapes attraction, and what it really takes to build intimacy beyond surface-level desire. This episode is an invitation to examine our assumptions, expand our understanding of sexuality, and rethink what it means to feel wanted, seen, and connected.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Andrew: Andrew Gurza is an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant and author of the book, Notes From a Queer Cripple: How to Cultivate Queer Disabled Joy (and be hot while doing it!) Andrew uses they/he pronouns and identifies proudly as severely disabled. He was the subject of an award winning National Film Board of Canada Documentary “Picture This”. Andrew has guested on a number of podcasts including Dan Savage’s Savage Love. They have spoken all over the world on sex, disability and what it means to be a Queer Cripple. They were also a Production Consultant and Actor on the Queer As Folk reboot in 2022. He is also the host of Disability After Dark: The Podcast Shining a Bright Light on Disability Stories which won a Canadian Podcast Award in 2021, was a Queerty Award nominee, and was chosen as an Honoree at the 2020 Webby Awards. The show is available on all platforms. Andrew is also the creator of the viral hashtag #DisabledPeopleAreHot. You can find out more about Andrew and hire them by going to andrewgurza.ca Connect with Andrew: Website: www.andrewgurza.ca Book: Notes From A Queer Cripple: How to Cultivate Queer Disabled Joy (and Be Hot While Doing It!)Podcast: Disability After DarkInstagram: @andrewgurzaConnect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Rick Miller (he/him), a pioneering psychotherapist, author and film maker with over 40 years of experience working with gay men and couples. They explore why the relationship between gay sons and their mothers is often uniquely close, the historical harm caused by blaming mothers for their sons’ sexuality, and what Rick’s research and documentary Mom, I Have Something to Tell You reveal about love, protection, and resilience. The conversation expands into modern gay relationships - why communication around sex, money, and intimacy is so difficult, how shame still shapes gay men’s inner worlds, and what it actually takes to build trust and connection. Rick also shares how his work with hypnosis and mindfulness helps clients reconnect to their strengths, and why therapists need to lead with presence and belief in their clients rather than focusing only on pathology.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Rick: Rick is a clinical social worker in private practice in Boston and on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. He has served nationally and internationally on faculties at a number of universities and conferences, including the faculty at Harvard Medical School, Department of Psychiatry, Yale Hospital and Health Systems Keynote Speaker for Diversity and Inclusion, Simmons University School of Social Work and faculty member for Esther Perel’s Sessions programs.He was awarded the 2018 National Association of Social Workers’ Greatest Contribution to Social Work Practice award in recognition of his unique contribution to the body of knowledge that has never previously been studied or published in professional literature.Most recently, Rick was a speaker at TEDx Provincetown: Hyperlocal, sharing his experiences with Gay Sons and Mothers through his talk, The Mother Factor: Acceptance Works Both Ways. He has established trainings for MH professionals that facilitate knowledgeable interventions which allow LGBTQ+ populations to feel understood and affirmed, and developed mindfulness techniques specific to gay men which has never been done by anybody else.Connect with Rick: Websites: gaysonsandmothers.org and rickmiller.biz Book: https://a.co/d/01UvVtXs Podcast: Modern Couples: What Your Therapist Never Told YouInstagram: @gaysonsandmothers, @rickmillerlicswTikTok: @GaysonsandmothersConnect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this interview, Tom Bruett(he/him) interviews Paula D. Atkinson (she/her), a queer, liberation-focused psychotherapist based in Palm Springs. They discuss Paula's journey to claiming her queer identity later in life, the gatekeeping she encountered along the way, and why she believes binaries in sexuality, in relationships, and in therapy itself are a lie. Paula shares her philosophy of "infinite permission," her 20-year unconventional partnership, and why connecting to what you actually want is the foundation of everything, including good couples therapy. They also explore body liberation, the Artist's Way, and Paula's podcast, What If Nothing's Wrong With You. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Paula: Paula D. Atkinson is a queer, woo-woo desert witch and a liberation-focused psychotherapist. She has been working for over 15 years with those who suffer from disordered eating, food obsession, exercise addiction, and body hatred. For many years she taught courses on the history of fat phobia and our culture's thin worship as a professor of Weight & Society at George Washington University. She trains professionals, clinics, and organizations in doing less harm in a thin-obsessed world. She has been interviewed for various articles, podcasts and broadcasts, including on NPR, and co-hosts a podcast that explores how psychotherapy conspires with the many systems that cause mental suffering. She is a second-generation yoga teacher, a psychic witch, an artist, and an aspiring DJ! Paula grew up in the Bay Area, lived in DC and NYC for over 20 years, and recently relocated to Palm Springs CA where she is grateful every day for the dry heat, big sky and the desert vibrations.Connect with Paula: Website: https://www.pauladatkinson.com/ Instagram: @pauladatkinsonYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@WINWWY/featured TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pauladatkinson5 Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Tom Bruett interviews David F Khalili (he/him), a queer licensed marriage and family therapist and board certified sexologist based in San Francisco and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness. They discuss David's mission of "Shame Less, Love More," his journey into sex therapy, and the unique challenges faced by queer Middle Eastern men navigating identity, family, and belonging. David shares his perspective on bi erasure, the cost of masculinity for men across the gender and sexuality spectrum, and why helping clients simply feel comfortable talking about sex is often the most powerful first step. They also explore therapist burnout, the importance of community for isolated private practice clinicians, and David's growing Rouse Academy training program for therapists.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About David: David F Khalili is a queer licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness, a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco focused on helping queer, kinky, and poly folks have their best relationships. Offering trainings and gatherings at Rouse Academy, David brings together couples and sex therapists seeking community and continuing education. He also authored the recently published Mental Health Workbook for Men to enhance their relationships with others.Connect with David: Professional Websites: rousetherapy.com, davidfkhalili.com Training for Therapists: rouseacademy.comInstagram: @rousetherapyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@rousetherapy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rousetherapy Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Tom Bruett interviews Mickie Kennedy(he/him), a gay poet whose work reflects on his experiences living through the AIDS crisis and the complexities of intimacy and relationships. They discuss the emotional journey of writing poetry, the impact of societal issues on personal creativity, and the importance of documenting the history of the LGBTQ+ community. Kennedy shares insights on vulnerability, authenticity, and the healing power of art, while also addressing the ongoing challenges faced by the community today.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Mickie: Mickie Kennedy is a gay writer who resides in Baltimore County, Maryland. His work has appeared in Prairie Schooner, POETRY, The Threepenny Review, The Southern Review, The Sun and elsewhere. His first full-length book of poetry, Worth Burning, was published by Black Lawrence Press in February 2026. Follow him on social media @MickiePoet or his website mickiekennedy.com.Connect with Mickie: Website: https://www.mickiekennedy.com Instagram: @mickiepoetNew Book: https://www.mickiekennedy.com/worth-burning Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this insightful conversation, Michael Pezzullo, LMFT (he/him), explores the complex dynamics of pretty privilege, aging, and self-worth within the gay community. He discusses how external validation impacts mental health, the cultural obsession with youth, and practical ways to develop inner strength and authenticity.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Michael: Michael Pezzullo is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Michael runs his own private practice in West Hollywood, CA. He specializes in LGBTQ+ affirmative psychotherapy, substance use disorders and trauma. Therapeutically he practices EMDR, ketamine assisted psychotherapy and internal family systems. He offers coaching to gay men internationally.Connect with Michael: Website: www.michaelpezzullo.com Instagram: @michaelpezzullolmftYouTube: @Therapy-for-Gay-MenTikTok: @michaelpezzullolmft Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Dr. Miguel Toribo-Mateus(he/they) shares his personal journey with ADHD and autism, discussing the importance of diagnosis and medication. He explores the intricate relationship between nutrition, gut health, and neurodivergence, emphasizing how these factors can influence ADHD symptoms. Miguel also highlights the unique experiences of queer individuals in relation to neurodivergence and offers practical advice on nutrition and self-care. The discussion touches on the significance of reframing ADHD as a natural neurotype and the challenges faced in relationships where one partner is neurodivergent.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Dr. Miguel: Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas is a queer clinical neuroscientist, applied microbiologist, and nutrition researcher specializing in nutritional psychiatry and the gut–brain axis. His work is influenced by both scientific training and lived experience of navigating identity, relationships, and nervous system stress in a minority body.With over 20 years of experience bridging laboratory research and clinical practice, his work explores how diet, the gut microbiome, stress, and emotional regulation shape behavior, relationships, and wellbeing, particularly within minorities such as neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ communities. He is especially interested in how early experiences, shame, and chronic hypervigilance affect our body needs and desires, as well as patterns of relating.He is the author of ADHD Body and Mind: A Compassionate Guide to Rewilding Your Nervous System with Neuroscience, Nutrition, and Gut-Brain Health, published by Jessica Kingsley in 2026. His research has appeared in journals including the BMJ and BMC Psychiatry.An Honorary Research Fellow at Cardiff University’s School of Psychology and Senior Lecturer at the University of West London, Miguel is known for translating complex neuroscience into language that helps people understand their bodies, soften self-judgement, and build more sustainable relationships with food, themselves, and others. His work places self-compassion, interoception, and nervous system safety at the center of emotional and relational health.Connect with Dr. Miguel: Website: https://drmiguelmateas.com Book: https://mybook.to/ADHDbodymind Instagram: @drmiguelmateas Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Ed Bell (he/him), a gay dating and relationship coach, shares his journey from being a musician to a coach, discussing the importance of authenticity, the challenges of modern dating, and the impact of dating apps. He emphasizes the need for community and real-life connections while addressing issues like biphobia and the evolving culture of gay dating. Ed offers some practical advise for how gay men can date in this modern world more authentically. Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Ed: Ed Bell is an award-winning dating and relationship coach working with gay and bi men. He's the host of the Better Gay Dating Podcast and, under the pen name Max Thomas, the author of the book "Boys Who Like Boys." He works with queer men to help them build stronger and more meaningful relationships.Connect with Ed: Website: www.bettergaydating.com Podcast: www.bettergaydating.com/podcast Book: www.bettergaydating.com/bwlbInstagram: @bettergaydating Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Dr. Roger Kuhn(he/him) discusses the themes of connection, cultural identity, and the importance of vulnerability in healing. He emphasizes the significance of understanding one's cultural background and how it shapes our experiences and relationships. The discussion also explores the concept of soma-cultural liberation, the impact of trauma on our bodies, and the necessity of pleasure in the healing process. Dr. Kuhn invites listeners to redefine their understanding of culture and identity, particularly within the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, and to embrace the journey of liberation through connection and joy.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Roger: Dr. Roger Kuhn is a Poarch Creek Two-Spirit Indigiqueer soma-cultural sex therapist, sexuality educator, writer, activist, and musician. Roger’s work explores the concepts of decolonizing and unsettling sexuality and focuses on the way culture impacts and informs our bodily experiences. He is a community organizer of the Bay Area American Indian Two-Spirit powwow, and a board member of the Two-Spirit & Native LGBTQ+ Center for Equity. His first book, Somacultural Liberation, is available in both paperback and audio. His music can be streamed on all digital platforms. Connect with Roger: Professional Website: www.rogerjkuhn.com Music Website: www.rogerkuhn.com His Book: https://www.rogerjkuhn.com/academic-and-publishing Instagram: @rkoughenrConnect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) speaks with Finn Deerhart (he/him), an AASECT certified sex counselor and coach, about his journey from ministry to sex counseling, the importance of writing in his life, and the complexities of navigating sexuality in urban environments. They discuss the significance of embodiment, community, and the impact of religious trauma on sexual identity. Finn shares insights from his workshops, the role of fantasy in sexuality, and the importance of ethical porn. The conversation emphasizes the need for open dialogue about sexuality and the ongoing journey of self-discovery and healing.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Finn: Finn Deerhart, is an AASECT Certified Sex Counselor, writer and group facilitator. Through his courses, workshops, retreats, and private sessions, men learn tools to confront their limitations, unravel internal narratives of shame, and spark deeper human connections—grounding themselves into a deeper experience of life. Finn also creates educational erotic content and provide on-site erotic coaching for various organizations, including Himeros TV, an online service that provides explicit educational content for queer men. He co-hosts the weekly Himeros Backstage podcast which can be heard on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Podcasts.Connect with Finn: Website: www.finndeerhart.comSubstack: www.finndeerhart.substack.comInstagram: @finndeerhart Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this engaging conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Dr. Ty (he/him), a sex therapist and advocate for the kink and leather communities. They discuss the integration of personal and professional experiences in therapy, the importance of consent in relationships, and the need for mentorship within the kink community. Dr. Ty shares insights on navigating stigma surrounding polyamory and kink, and emphasizes the significance of self-acceptance and empowerment in sexual exploration. The conversation highlights the evolving perceptions of kink in therapy and the importance of finding supportive professionals in the field.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Dr. Ty: Dr. Ty (he/him) is a clinical sexologist, certified sex therapist, and owner of Southwest Psychotherapy Associates in Houston. He specializes in working with the Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Diverse (GSRD) communities, including altsex practices. As Mr. Texas Leather 2024, he founded the 1,900-member international K!nky Book Club, and co-founded the Texas Leather Generations Project. His work bridges clinical care and kink community leadership, with features on TV, in The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, and more. He’s active in national leather organizations and is building an international kinky mentorship program to expand access to networking, education, and belonging for the entire community.Connect with Dr. Ty: Website: www.tdlcounseling.com Instagram: @tdlcounseling @drtyleatherman Connect with Tom: website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com Instagram: @queerrelationshipinstitute Get his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this interview, Tom Bruett, sex and relationship therapist, interviews Cator Sparks, a life coach for gay men. They explore topics like loneliness, connection, intergenerational friendships and relationships. About Cator Sparks: Cator Sparks is a life coach for men based in Atlanta, Georgia, and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) through the Co-Active Training Institute. He came out at 18 and has been living openly and proud ever since—though the journey hasn't always been easy. For years, he used drinking, drugs, and sex to fill the holes that bullying and shame had carved out. Working with his own life coach changed everything. He began to heal and discovered the transformative power of this work. Today, Cator runs a private practice, coaches for Boon Health, and founded GBTQ Retreats—a long weekend for queer men to connect more deeply with themselves and their community, free from alcohol, drugs, and the pressure of hookup culture. He also hosts a weekly Zoom call for the GBTQ+ community to go beyond small talk and really connect.Ways to Connect with Cator: His Website: https://www.catorsparkscoaching.com/GBTQ Retreats: https://www.gbtqretreats.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catorsparks/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@UC_Sntx--6SalbrACo2tguJw

In this conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) interviews Nick Wolny (he/him), an author and columnist for Out Magazine, about his new book, Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future. They discuss the unique financial challenges faced by the queer community, the emotional connections to money, and the importance of financial literacy. Nick shares insights from his research and personal experiences, emphasizing the need for a more inclusive approach to personal finance that resonates with queer individuals. The conversation covers topics such as inherited beliefs about money, the impact of debt, budgeting strategies, and the significance of estate planning for queer people.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Nick: Nick Wolny is an author, host, and finance columnist for Out magazine. He writes Financialicious, a personal finance newsletter tailored toward queer readers, and his new book Money Proud: The Queer Guide to Generate Wealth, Slay Debt, and Build Good Habits to Secure Your Future was recently recommended by The New York Times.Connect with Nick: Get his book: https://a.co/d/0eAqJq0C Financialicious newsletter: https://nickwolny.com/newsletterInstagram: @nickwolny Youtube:  ⁨@Nick-Wolny⁩  Connect with Tom:website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.comInstagram: @queerrelationshipinstituteGet his book: https://a.co/d/0gtUEAC5

In this interview with Tom Bruett, LMFT, CST, interviews Dallas Bragg, a Chemsex Recovery Coach. The interview talks about some of the devastating ways that chemsex is ravaging the gay community. More importantly, there are tips for what to do if you or someone you love is struggling with sex and meth addiction. Dallas Bragg is the Founder of Recovery Alchemy, a 1:1 and Group Coaching Chemsex Recovery program focusing on men who have sex with men who are using crystal methamphetamine and want to quit. He is also the creator of The AfterMeth Podcast, dedicated to supporting gay and bisexual men in recovery from crystal meth. With 7+ years in recovery, Dallas offers a unique blend of lived experience, compassionate guidance, and practical strategies for transformation. Beyond just "quitting," Dallas advocates for a holistic approach to recovery that embraces your authentic self and highest potential. His work focuses on identity transformation rather than mere abstinence, helping men rebuild their lives and discover who they truly are beneath the addiction.Connect with Dallas: Learn more: www.drdallasbragg.comYoutube:  @Drdallasbragg ​

In this conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) speaks with Zach Taylor (he/him), a fitness coach specializing in helping men over 40. They discuss the changes men experience as they age, the importance of mental health and body image, and the impact of social media on self-perception. Zach shares his journey through various careers, his passion for teaching, and the significance of community in fitness. They also explore the challenges faced by queer men in fitness environments and the importance of addressing mindset and relationship dynamics in coaching.Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards About Zach: Coach Zach helps gay men in mid-life reclaim their potential by building strong, confident, muscular bodies through simple, sustainable training and nutrition. He cuts through the Instagram and AI garbage to teach men how to actually look and feel amazing after 40. Through Zach Taylor Fitness, he’s built a powerful community where guys shed fat, gain strength, and rediscover their confidence, proving that our best bodies aren't behind us - we're just getting started.Contact Zach: Website: https://zachtaylorfitness.com/Instagram: @zachtaylorfitnessContact Tom:website: www.queerrelationshipinstitute.comInstagram: @queerrelationshipinstituteYoutube: @queerrelationshipinstitute

In this interview we talk with Dr. Luke Wilson about his story surviving conversion therapy and the new book that he has edited which compiles the stories of other survivors out there. Dr. Lucas Wilson is a SSHRC Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Toronto Mississauga and was formerly the Justice, Equity, and Transformation Postdoctoral Fellow at University of Calgary. He is the editor of Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy and the co-editor of Emerging Trends in Third-Generation Holocaust Literature. He is also the author of At Home with the Holocaust: Postmemory, Domestic Space, and Second-Generation Holocaust Literature, which received the Jordan Schnitzer First Book Publication Award. His public-facing writing has appeared in The Advocate, Queerty, LGBTQ Nation, and Religion Dispatches, among other venues. He is currently working on a new edited collection about queer experiences at Christian colleges, universities, and seminaries (under contract with University of Georgia Press). Shame-Sex Attraction: Survivors’ Stories of Conversion Therapy: https://a.co/d/aOVFiU6 Stay connected to Dr. Wilson:TikTok: @lukeslamdunkwilsonInstagram: @lukeslamdunkwilsonBluesky: @lukeslamdunkwilson.bsky.social X: @wilson_fw

In this conversation with Andy Scahill, we explore the intersection of queer culture, film, and community building. Andy shares his journey of creating Rainbow Cult, a platform for queer film screenings that fosters a sense of belonging and interaction among audiences. They discuss the importance of in-person experiences in an increasingly digital world, the challenges of archiving queer history, and the evolution of queer media representation. The conversation also touches on modern relationships, the Denver arts scene, and Andy's future creative projects, highlighting the significance of art in navigating identity and community.About Andy: Andy Scahill is a queer film professor, author of book on evil kids, and creator of Rainbow Cult, where community, camp, and cinema make out behind the bleachers. A writer-performer and cultural critic, he explores desire, monstrosity, and queer kinship across page, stage, and screen.Connect with Andy: Instagram: @andymightAndy's Website: www.professorandy.orgRainbow Cult: www.rainbowcult.orgGet your FREE set of relationship discussion cards: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards

Get a free set of 48 discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards Tom Bruett, LMFT, sex and relationship expert for gay men interviews Brian G. Murphy about his new book, Love Beyond Monogamy. This interview explores the intersection between love, polyamory, spirituality and the gay community. Brian G. Murphy  @thisisbgm  is an author and certified relationship coach who helps you clarify your values and then build right-fit relationships and exciting sex lives in line with those values through Relationshift, his private coaching practice.Brian is also the co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, online community, and the longest-running LGBTQ spirituality podcast, which supports queer people in healing from religious harm, rebuilding community, and reigniting fulfilling spiritual lives.He is author of Love Beyond Monogamy, which was published this fall, and co-author of Reading The Bible Through Queer Eyes, which will be published in fall 2026 by HarperOne. His work has been featured in Vice, BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Upworthy, and NBC News. Brian is based in New York City.Get a copy of Love Beyond Monogamy here: thisisbgm.com/bookLearn more about Brian's relationship coaching work here: relationshift.us

In this conversation, Keegan Hirst (he/him) shares his journey from being a professional rugby player to becoming a coach for gay men. He discusses the importance of community, the impact of representation in media, and the unique challenges faced by gay men in personal development. Keegan emphasizes the need for a holistic approach to coaching, focusing on mental, emotional, and physical well-being. He also highlights the significance of personal accountability and the importance of feedback in growth. The conversation concludes with insights into the future of gay men's coaching and the ongoing evolution of the community.About Keegan: Founder of Gay Man's Coaching the world's premier personal development service for gay, bi and trans men, former professional Rugby League Player. Connect with Keegan:Instagram: @keeganhirst @gaymanscoaching Youtube:  @gaymanscoaching  Website: https://www.instagram.com/keeganhirst/?hl=en, https://www.instagram.com/gaymanscoaching/?hl=enTiktok: @keeganhirstGet your FREE set of relationship discussion cards: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cards

Get your FREE set of relationship discussion cards for gay men: https://www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com/cardsIn this conversation, Tom Bruett (he/him) and Dr. Matthew Brinkley (he/they) explore the importance of authenticity in therapy, particularly within the queer community. They discuss the challenges faced by queer individuals in navigating their identities and the need for therapists to be open and relatable. The conversation also touches on the diverse approaches to therapy, the significance of community building, and the role of joy and empowerment in the queer experience. Additionally, they address the ongoing issues of racism within the queer community and the necessity for open dialogue about relationships and sex.About Dr. Brinkley: Dr. Matthew Brinkley, PsyD, LMFT, (he/they) is a passionate and dedicated genderqueer LMFT, weaving threads of compassion through the fabric of mental health. As a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Southern California (USC) and a licensed psychotherapist in private practice, Dr. Brinkley’s journey is marked by a resolute commitment to fostering understanding and support. Beyond his therapeutic pursuits,Matthew is an ICF-Accredited Certified Life Coach, Certified Thriving Relationship Coach, and Certified Science-Based Dating Coach. and is the owner of his life, relationship, and dating coaching business, AuthenticiTea Coaching & Consulting LLC.Connect with Dr. Brinkley:Website: www.theauthenticitea.comChapters:00:00 Introduction to Authenticity in Therapy03:01 Navigating Queer Identity and Therapy05:57 The Role of Coaching in Mental Health09:03 Creating Community for Queer Individuals11:56 The Importance of Joy and Authenticity15:02 Building Connections and Overcoming Loneliness17:55 The Journey to Becoming a Therapist22:47 Creating Safe Spaces for Queer Individuals24:10 The Journey to Becoming a Therapist25:53 The Need for Queer Representation in Therapy26:50 Conversations on Relationship Styles30:28 Navigating Monogamy and Non-Monogamy35:14 Addressing Racism in the Queer Community40:05 Connecting with Dr. Brinkley

What are gay men actually craving in bed—and why doesn’t porn, hookup culture, or Instagram perfection satisfy it? In this deep, honest conversation, sex and relationship therapist Tom Bruett (he/him) sits down with porn performer, intimacy coach, and podcast host Vance Hedman(he/him) to talk about authenticity, masculinity, porn myths, body shame, loneliness, sobriety, and the kind of intimacy gay men are starving for—but rarely taught how to ask for. We explore why so many gay men feel disconnected from their bodies, why “being hot” doesn’t translate to good sex, how porn quietly trains us to perform instead of connect, and what real pleasure actually looks like when safety, slowness, and consent are centered. About Vance: Vance is a certified somatic practitioner based in Toronto, Canada. With a passion for connection and intimacy, he works with queer people socialized as men to work through shame to be their authentic selves. Vance is a porn performer and the host of the podcast "Mask Off for Masc." Connect with Vance: Website: vanceintimacycoaching.com Instagram: vancehdmn Youtube:  @MaskOffForMasc ​Chapters00:00 Inspiration for Starting the Podcast08:19 Overcoming Insecurities and Self-Improvement14:18 Learning About Sex and *beep*20:12 Craving for Meaningful Sex and Intimacy27:29 The Importance of Safety and Boundaries32:32 Consent and Communication38:30 The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness

The conversation with Owen Schiller provides insights into the Easton Mountain Retreat Center, highlighting its impact on the queer community and the diverse experiences it offers. From overcoming initial apprehensions to establishing connections and relationships, the retreat center fosters personal growth and community building. The chapters cover the introduction, mission, visitor experience, inclusivity, geographic reach, history, personal growth, advice, and events at Easton Mountain.TakeawaysCommunity BuildingInclusivity🌈 About Owen Schiller: Owen is an eighth grade teacher and education speaker. He has a passion for renovating curriculum to share queer stories where there have previously been none. Owen has spoken to teachers and school communities about the deadening effects of institutional education and adjusting to methods that honor individual humanity. Originally from Colorado, he grew up riding horses and performing in local theater before he moved to New York in 2017 for a short lived career performing Shakespeare. He now lives in Manhattan with his two cats. 🌈 About Easton Mountain Resort: Nestled in a picturesque mountain valley in upstate NY, Easton Mountain is a retreat center, community and sanctuary founded by John Stasio and a group of gay men in 2000. Our events provide opportunities for social engagement, relaxation, personal growth, and learning. In addition to our own events, we provide a venue for groups and organizations aligned with our mission. Sign up for one of our events or host your next retreat, conference or workshop with us! 🔗 Connect with Easton Mountain: Upcoming: Easton Mountain Spring Fling, Thurs Apr 23 - Sun Apr 26th, 2026 Website: https://www.eastonmountain.org/Instagram:@EastonMountain YouTube: ⁨ @EastonMountain Chapters00:00 Introduction to Easton Mountain Retreat Center08:28 Clothing Optional, Sex, Alcohol, and Drugs at Easton Mountain14:24 History and Evolution of Easton Mountain Retreat Center21:08 Advice for Those Considering a Retreat at Easton Mountain32:26 Events and Activities at Easton Mountain Retreat Center

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) sits down with Dustin Oliver(he/him), the creator of boy meets therapy, to talk honestly about what it really takes to become a therapist - especially a queer therapist building a career in today’s mental health landscape.Dustin opens up about the messy, beautiful, and often overwhelming process of entering the field, why accessible mental health content for queer people is desperately needed, and how his podcast came to be. Together, they explore why using real language in therapy matters, how social media shapes modern mental health conversations, and what it’s like to learn, research, and grow in real time while creating content that actually resonates.If you're a queer person interested in therapy, an aspiring therapist yourself, or someone who loves meaningful conversations about mental health, you’ll want to watch this one.🌈 About Dustin:Dustin Oliver, MHC-LP, MA, is a Brooklyn-based therapist whose fascination with people and his own transformative therapy journey led him into the mental health field. He holds a BA in Psychology from Georgia State University and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from the University of Kentucky. His training includes research on alcohol and domestic violence in LGBTQ+ couples, studying Positive Psychology in Copenhagen, and clinical work in trauma-focused intensive outpatient programs and boutique private practices, where he supported clients navigating trauma, substance use, dissociation, personality disorders, and sexual health concerns. Dustin created his podcast, boy meets therapy to offer honest conversations between clinicians and to make complex mental health research accessible and relatable for everyday listeners.🔗 Connect with Dustin:Website: www.boymeetstherapy.comInstagram: @boymeetstherapyTiktok: @boymeetstherapyyoutube: @boymeetstherapy

In this episode, Tom Bruett (he/him) sits down with the brilliant and wildly creative Jayden Aubryn (they/them) - a therapist who blends movement, art, somatics, kink, and community care into a transformative approach to trauma healing. Together, they explore what holistic healing really looks like, why therapists must do their own internal work, and how joy, play, and embodied expression can become powerful tools for liberation. Jayden breaks down the impact of systemic oppression on mental health, the unique challenges faced by queer and BIPOC communities, and why traditional talk therapy isn’t enough on its own. They share practical insights on building trust, cultivating safety, and making healing not just possible - but pleasurable, spacious, and fun. If you’re a therapist, a healer, or someone on your own growth journey, this conversation is a must-listen. 🌈 Meet Jayden Aubryn:Jayden Aubryn (they/them) is a Black, Indigenous, queer, non-binary, AuDHD, and ethically non-monogamous psychotherapist, personal trainer, and consultant. They are the founder of TISE Consulting and Therapy and the co-founder of Chaotic Healing. They specialize in holistically healing complex trauma by integrating mental, physical, sexual, and spiritual health. They aim to make healing fun my using movement, food, music, art, and BDSM. 🔗 Connect with Jayden Website: tiseconsultingandtherapy.com Retreat: https://tiseconsultingandtherapy.com/retreatTwerk to Release Trauma Course: https://jayden-s-site-4bdf.thinkific.com/products/courses/twerk-to-release-traumaInstagram: @tiseconsultingandtherapy ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Jayden Aubryn 03:23 Holistic Healing and Trauma Recovery 06:04 Integrating Arts and Therapy 08:40 Supporting Therapists in Their Journey 11:22 Systemic Oppression and Its Impact 14:23 The Decision to Move Abroad 17:11 Building Trust and Self-Confidence 19:51 The Reality of Healing 22:25 Making Healing Fun 25:02 Retreats for Healing and Growth 28:00 Relationships and Trauma 30:46 Finding the Right Therapist 33:18 Connecting with Jayden Aubryn

The conversation delves into the complexities of body dysmorphia, exploring its roots in early trauma, societal conditioning, and personal experiences. It also highlights the impact of steroid use and the transformative effects of psychedelic healing. The importance of embodiment, intimacy in relationships, and creating supportive environments for healing are also discussed.TakeawaysBody dysmorphia is influenced by early trauma and societal conditioning.Psychedelic healing can be transformative in addressing body dysmorphia.Creating supportive environments and embracing embodiment are crucial for healing.Chapters00:00 Understanding Body Dysmorphia09:23 Steroid Use and Its Effects16:17 Psychedelic Healing Journey34:29 Embodiment and Intimacy in Relationships40:45 Creating Supportive EnvironmentsAbout Daniel O'Shaughnessy: Daniel is a nutritionist, breathwork facilitator, and mindset coach with a Master’s degree in Trauma and Transpersonal Experiences. A Certified Functional Medicine Practitioner, he is known for pioneering work at the intersection of LGBTQ+ health and holistic medicine, and is the author of books on LGBTQ+ wellbeing and body dysmorphia. Bringing both academic expertise and lived experience of neurodivergence and trauma, Daniel’s work weaves science, breath, and transpersonal practice into spaces of safety, belonging, and the kind of deep personal reflection that nurtures long-lasting change. Connect with Daniel: Website: www.danieloshaughnessy.com Instagram: thenakednutritionist TikTok: thenakednutritionist Get His Book: Letting Go of Perfect, A Gay Man’s Guide to Healing from Body Dysmorphia: https://a.co/d/3PbZg8i