The life of a Third Culture Kid therapist

Third Culture Kids and decisions - it's a topic that comes up a lot and here I work with the distinction between a decision deciding the kind of person we are versus knowing the kind of person we are making sense of our decisions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Authenticity has become a tense word for many Third Culture Kids. It seems to invite us to choose one way of being, one part of our selves to declare as our true self, and condemns us to a kind of consistency of being that can feel claustrophobic. In this episode I explore how we can work with our many selves, negotiating the internal mobility that we need to express them all in fluid freedom. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Inspired by a client recently, I've been pondering how we work with the edges of our maps - more precisely, what do we do when we step off the maps we've walked so far, and start exploring where known self and world are uncharted? After all, as they put it, "There be dragons"... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I talk a lot about how we can process our story so far to understand better the chapters we want to write next... but what happens when we can't write those chapters where we want to? Here I walk through a process I'd invite in these challenging circumstances. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dipping my toes into local civic processes this week - and exploring both my delight and curiosity in the 'local' given the TCK early exposure to 'global'. Join me as I ponder! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A meandering episode this week - where I reflect on how I tell the story of my week, and how my narrative echoes a hesitation I hear for a lot of TCK stories, and how hard it is to let the little things take up space. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Finishing up this mini-series on TCKs and Maslow with questions about what self-actualised actually looks like for us as TCKs? What does fulfilled and meeting our potential even look like? And I am, ironically and perhaps rather perfectly, recording this on a day where I don't feel at all 'my best self'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode tackles the self-esteem tier of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. I've spoken before about self-esteem and TCKs, but here I focus on the ways in which TCKs learn they are interesting... and are those things about us, or what's happened to us? And what difference does it even make? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we feel about the phrase, 'pleased with myself'? Very often we consider this feeling only allowed after very defined achievements - when we have done/completed/perfected something. This episode explores how this works when we've grown up with a sense of truncated time, and not feeling able to identify as 'complete'. How can we celebrate participation, rather than perfection? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So many of us orient ourselves around the question, "Where do I belong?" In this episode I ponder what flipping the script could do for us - "Where do I want to belong?" Join me and, as always, I'd love to hear your feedback so send that through to [email protected] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy 2026! In this first episode of the new year, I'm pondering how the TCK experience interacts with 'new year, new me' energy! I'm also wondering how the 'old me' might feel about that... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This year I've been encountering a new awful question - not 'Where are you from?' but 'What are your Christmas traditions?' In this episode I get curious about what I find difficult about this question - how traditions can be hard when you've seen and experienced so many different versions of this season, and yet what cultivating habits around this season can do for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And here we have the second instalment of our Maslow series... Safety Needs! What does safety and risk actually mean in our TCK stories? And how do we see these play out in our current chapters? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is an episode I've been pondering a while - how do TCKs perceive their own needs in terms of an internalised hierarchy? I explore where Maslow's ideas and my own observations around need-juggling and autonomy interact here - and specifically around our physiological needs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is pondering around how hard we work to create coherence, and my own experience this week of wanting to let incoherence be. TCKs often work so hard to prune and curate their stories, and I'm exploring here the relief I feel at not doing that today. Thanks for joining me! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What if we actually listed out our expectations of ourselves? What if we really allowed ourselves to acknowledge the many and competing ideas of how we 'should' be, the ones we have collected through our cultures and places - and sat with how utterly impossible they all are to satisfy? And then let go and grieve... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I felt fear this week - fear jumping over time stamps, into my now. How do we explain feelings that show up out of space and time, dislocated within our own story? How do we understand fear when we are safe? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This weekend I went to a print fair - and found a piece of art that triggered an unexpected TCK encounter. What is it about images that can press on those tender parts of our story so well?Check out the artist at www.beicreative.co.uk or on Instagram @_beicreative Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I had some soft slow sadness hit this week - and it took me a while to identify it as loneliness. This episode explores where and why loneliness might be a familiar part of our TCK story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I've just been to a wedding - and broke a few of my own self-imposed rules. Here I talk about the moment of choice - to sit back and wait and watch before acting, the context necessary for the risk I took, and the after-effects of the choice I made. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I observe the difficulty so many TCKs have with acknowledging their feelings - especially feelings of discomfort. Why is this, and what do these feelings have to contribute to our story? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, I found this episode I recorded way back in July! Excited to finally bring it to you - meandering though how TCKs might navigate birthdays and other celebrations when belonging is so often tied into the shape of those modes of celebration and traditions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back after a long summer gap - but reflecting on the processing there and on a theme showing up a lot this week - self-sabotage! This is an exploration of what are the stories we might be in when we watch ourselves deviate from our own goals and plans - TCK-style! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Reflections on how things actually going to plan - life doing what we wanted - can actually trigger anxiety in TCKs! Even finishing my to-do list... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing a new online group for TCK creatives! If you are a TCK who loves working creatively, join us via Facebook (just search 'Third Culture Kid Creatives') and discover how many TCKs are exploring their stories creatively, using these creative outlets to process their experiences. The link to the group on Facebook is https://www.facebook.com/groups/1431710724484174/See you there! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Inspired by a conversation with another TCK, I've decided to make tangible representations of all those losses that have felt so hard to name - especially the loss of things that we never had - and invite you to do the same. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What happens with perfectionism collides with a short internal timeline? This episode I'm exploring the way in which our TCK experiences can shorten our sense of timeline, keeping our focus on achieving 'completion' even with those aspects of life that are just never going to be 'done'... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So in this episode I'm exploring the ways in which we absorb different cultural ideas about what kind of life is supposed to make us happy - aka, are we allowed to be happy with something outside of that? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A shorter one today - This is me just finding myself wanting to sit and be, so I thought I would do it with you - pondering what it is to be still in the midst of spinning between the different facets of self... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've turned 40! So cue reflections on aging, the ways in which our cultures and places contribute to our perspective on age, and a poem. Thank you so much for being with me for so long, and I'm so grateful to have arrived here, with you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good at smoothing out social glitches? Feel desperately uncomfortable being 'demanding'? Welcome to the club! I hear so many of us struggling to tolerate the awkward... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I hear so many TCKs characterise themselves as 'control freaks'. Here I unpack what control might mean to us, given our TCK stories, and how our experience of control impacts our confidence around decision-making... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As TCKs we can spend a lot of time in other people's heads - looking at ourselves from their perspectives. What happens when we get back behind our own eyes? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's that time of year I get restless... actually, more like that time every four years... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is born of frustration - and I know it's frustration I share with other Third Culture Kids. This is my meandering offering this week - a honest glimpse at the process of making choices from what can feel like an impossible spinning carousel - who will this choice make me, express and what kind of me 'should' I be in this moment? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I missed talking to you all last week - because I was away on holiday! The most wonderful time, but also a good moment to reflect on themes that come up a lot for Third Culture Kids - travel, holidays, and coming home... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you struggle with feeling not-enough? Confused about which of your identities you are supposed to focus on and do 'properly'? We aren't alone - and I'm seeing these sensations show up for many of us. In this episode I explore the notion of growing up with identity archetypes, concentrated identities played out in short bursts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So many Third Culture Kids are dealing with deep reservoirs of grief. Present day loss has a habit of pressing the bruises of losses felt earlier through our story, and it can be devastating to our sense of safety. In this episode I walk through one way of creating space for this grief, via intentional space and ritual. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How big a part of your identity is 'helper'? And what happens when we find ourselves unable to help others, or even ourselves? What happens when we encounter helplessness? This episode ponders the ways in which our TCK experiences impact our experience of helplessness, and how we can meet it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many of us have been confronted with the question, "Is being a Third Culture Kid a good thing?" It's a question that feels to me to miss the point - and in this episode I explore why, and how we can better understand our traits and tendencies with nuance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As TCKs, many of us are aware of the nature of our representational or ambassador identities growing up. In this episode I explore how this early experience of identity by association could be impacting the choices around friendship or relationships we may be making in our adult lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In January, many of us are reflecting on various ways to improve ourselves. In this episode I'm exploring how often I hear TCKs struggling with the need to be extraordinary, and the fear of identities more mundane. I'll share my observations about what's going on here, and a poem I wrote today, on the Forbidden Fruit of being Ordinary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who is the narrator of your story? And is the voice a critical or demanding one? Or is it on the hero's side? In this episode I explore the impact and power of our narrative voices, and explore what these voices could sound like. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I loved this phrase I heard last week, "frivolous identity" - and wanted to explore it here with you. I've often pondered the way we manage an internal hierarchy of our many identities and this phrase put it's finger on a theme I see come up a lot! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many Third Culture Kids are busy deconstructing our stories? Or working to build identities from what often feel like disparate fragments? In this episode I'm pondering my own relationship with making and creating, and what it can do for us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Some feedback from last episode on purpose and TCKs really brought home to me another challenge faced by many TCKs around purpose - which this episode attempts to do justice to. How do we navigate our own values when we've not been told stories of values, just observable differences? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've been avoiding this episode - partly because I'm feeling how incredibly important it is. How does the experience of being a TCK interact with our purpose-seeking? And what do we do about it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Taking pause in this episode, a moment to notice, acknowledge and celebrate how far we've come! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Time! How does the Third Culture Kid experience impact our sense of time? It's often said TCKs are somewhat allergic to the 10 year plan - but why? And what about the impact on how we do relationships? Join me in this week's ponderings - I'd love to hear your thoughts too! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How many of us learnt that we could 'make ourselves safe' by offering certain behaviours - compliance, being a good listener, being 'interesting'? In this episode I'm exploring what we may have learnt we could expect back, if we could just find the offering to provide - the contracts we have entered into with our behaviours. "If I'm this, then you will be that" the rule goes. Except when the other party can't see and didn't agree to the contract we have signed up for... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.