The Perfect Mess Podcast

When delivering a message or should I say when delivering a difficult message it is very important to make sure there is some truth some love and some accountability attached to it. It’s important so your message gets through clearly and then it is up to the person you’re telling it to on how they receive it. This goes for parents and for coaches. Hell, it even goes for bosses at work.

Some of the biggest lessons, young men will ever learn won’t come from what you say they’ll come from how you react. Especially when things get heated. Because when you’re a leader… A coach… A father figure… You’re being watched in the moments where it would be easiest to lose control.

I know I know I know I have been gone a little while, but it is baseball season and those are you who know me know that I’m a baseball coach and I am knee-deep into a baseball season. So please forgive me, but I am checking in with you guys to say hello to tell you that I miss you and I hope you are all doing well.

“Nobody really talks about what a father goes through when divorce hits him out of nowhere.One day you’re a husband, a dad, a provider, a protector—and the next day, the ground disappears beneath your feet.No warning. No countdown. Just loss… and responsibility at the same time.”“Today, I want to talk about the divorce a father never saw coming—not from a place of bitterness,but from a place of truth.”

“There’s a specific kind of pain that comes with loving someone deeply… and realizing you can’t give them what they need. Not because you don’t want to. Not because you don’t care. But because you’re simply not capable of it.”We don’t talk about this enough.We talk about effort.We talk about sacrifice.We talk about “if you really love someone, you’ll find a way.”But what happens when you can’t?What happens when you want to fix it, provide it, heal it, protect them from it—and you just don’t have the tools?Today’s episode is about accepting that truth without turning it into guilt, shame, or self-hatred.

There comes a point where dating doesn’t feel exciting anymore.It feels exhausting.Not because you don’t want connection…but because you’re tired of the games, the small talk, the ghosting, the almosts, and the emotional whiplash.And if you’re listening to this thinking,“Man, I’m tired—but I’m not bitter,”this episode is for you.Because being tired of dating doesn’t mean you’ve failed.It might mean you’re finally getting honest.

Let me say this upfront—Words are cheap. Presence is not.Everybody says, “I’m here for you.”Everybody says, “You can count on me.”But when life gets uncomfortable… when it’s inconvenient… when it requires effort… most people disappear.So today, I want to talk about what it really means to call someone a friend—and why real friendship is proven by action, not language.

Graduation feels like the finish line—but for young athletes, it’s really a crossroads. Too many walk away for a year thinking they’ll figure it out later… and later never comes. Today we’re talking about why momentum matters, why continuing your education and athletics keeps doors open, sharpens discipline, and protects your future. Because talent fades when it sits still—but purpose grows when you keep moving.

Some of the hardest pain in life isn’t failure.It’s disappointment.It’s when you did the work.You showed up.You prayed.You waited.And the thing you wanted… still didn’t happen.

Most of us walk around pretending we’re better than we are. We clean it up. We filter it. We hide it behind good intentions and social media quotes. But the truth is this: every single one of us since daily. Not occasionally. Not, when things get hard. But daily. And that does not make you evil. It makes you human.

“Nobody tells you this part.They tell you to level up.They tell you to grow.They tell you to ‘become your best self.’But what they don’t tell you…is that becoming your best self means saying goodbye—over and over again.”“Goodbye to people.Goodbye to habits.Goodbye to versions of yourself that once kept you safe… but now keep you stuck.”

Men – especially fathers – aren’t wired for comfort. We are wired for responsibility, challenge, and mission. When a man loses his purpose, he doesn’t drift… He deteriorates. And when fathers lose their edge, families feel it. If you are a man who feels stuck, bored or restless… This is for you. If you are a good dad, but you feel empty inside and you have no real challenge pushing you anymore and you feel like you’re just surviving instead of building… This is for you. I hope you enjoy and if you do, please share it.

There was a time when the holidays didn’t feel peaceful at all. They felt heavy. Loud. Forced. Smiles on the outside, chaos on the inside.This year feels different. Not perfect – but peaceful. And what I’ve realized is… Peace hits different when you’ve learned it.Not when life is easy. Not when everything goes your way. But when you’ve done the work. When you’ve healed what you’ve avoided. When you stopped chasing things that were costing you your sanity.This episode isn’t about pretending life is great. It’s about recognizing growth. You didn’t even know you were building. And if you’re ending this year, feeling calmer – but not loud about it – this one’s for you.

I’ve prayed for a long time for God to not let everything that I’ve gone through in my life to not be in vain. I have often prayed for him to use my life and give me the courage to speak about the things that have hurt me the most so that I could be of service to others. And boy is he working… Let me share a story with you.

Prayer without any work just doesn’t work and I’m going to explain to you why. Sometimes God blesses you in ways you don’t expect. God will always give you what you need, but not always what you want. On this episode, God did both for me and I am super thankful. Let’s talk about it…

It’s time we had a real talk parents. It’s time we understood how important it is to protect our babies and take a pass on some events that we’re invited to and people we allow our children to be around whether it be family, friends or acquaintances.

There are a lot of coaches that coach and then there are coaches like myself who not only coach between the lines, but Coach you in life as well even when you don’t want it or you feel like you don’t need it.

Just a simple, thank you to everybody who believes in me and what I do. From the podcast, to TikTok, to coaching, to mentoring, to everything in between… Thank you.

Tricks are for kids and unfortunately it seems there are still adults who like to play kid games. Let’s talk about it!

There are too many young kids who are being taught not to own their shit. Too many kids are being taught to point a finger and look for an out. There are not enough kids who are learning to be disciplined and who are learning how to CYA. And what is CYA you ask? Cover your own ass because if you’re going to be a complainer or point fingers you better be covering your own ass. Let’s talk about teaching ownership.

Coaches this one’s for you. More often than not what we do that makes the biggest impact is what happens outside the lines not in between the lines. Let’s talk about it.

There is something about being in that zone as a man who is only concerned with his mind, body and spirit, his finances, his health and his children, and you know you’re in that zone when a woman approaches you or walks by you and gives you a compliment and you tip your hat tell her thank you and you keep it moving. You’re in a zone of no longer wanted to be part of the swipe culture and no longer chasing anybody that compliments you You are now in the zone where you expect more from anybody you encounter not just a simple hello.

One of the biggest problems I see with today’s society is that we struggle to have difficult talks. Anytime someone has a different opinion than ours. We get really defensive combative and we shut everybody out. The most damaging thing that we do is we stop talking. There are no solutions that have ever come from people not talking. You have to be able to communicate with people who don’t agree with you or see the world like you do. Let’s talk about it.

Keep playing the game…watch what it leads to. A wise word to those people who are “So Busy” but are looking for love.

Is it ever enough? Like is it ever truly enough for someone to stay with someone?

I have no problem admitting that I am in a storm smack dab in the middle. It’s a very tough moment for me, but notice I said moment. I will get through this somehow someway and I will keep faith in God. But sticking to the script I am going to share with all of you so those of you going through the same Know that you are not alone and are encouraged to push through.IG: @itsraymolinaTIKTOK: @itsraymolina (Live: M-F • 9:30pm/11:30pm)YouTube: www.youtube.com/@theperfectmesspodPayPal: @itsraymolinaVenmo: @itsraymolinaCashapp: $itsraymolina

This little thing this little adjustment helped me have such a better coparenting relationship with my ex-wife. And if you can get there, I promise you it’s beneficial for you and your children.

You know when you’re chasing a dream in life… All you can ask for is a chance. A chance to give it your best shot and let the chips fall where they may. Today, one of those chances showed up. And I’m excited for the opportunity. My son has. So let’s talk about it.

Do you struggle with apologizing to your children when you fly off at the handle sometimes or when you realize you made a mistake? Did you deal with that as a kid like I did let’s talk about how to get past that and work through it so you don’t make the same mistakes

My son is about to start driving…lord is life moving fast. Let’s talk about it Yall!

I apologize in advance or should I say sorry not sorry… But this episode had to be done. So I hope you listen with an open mind open heart and open your ears. Let’s talk about dating and all of the chaos going on around it now.

Sometimes no matter how easy you make it for some people they continue to make it difficult.

Where have I been? Well it’s the year and for the school and that means my kids are moving up in grade and my youngest is now attending high school school. I’ve had graduations. I’ve had parties, I’ve had award ceremonies… You name it. So let’s catch up what’s been going on with me and my kids… Have a wonderful day God bless.

If we took time out of our day to help people every now and then I think it would make a little bit of a difference. Maybe I’m wrong but it’s worth a shot.

You only fail if you stop getting back on the horse. Stay in the game and when you stumble, pick yourself up and get back on the horse.

You ever feel like one of your gifts and your curses is doing stuff for people at Lil to no cost and those same people just not doing the same for you? You ever feel like things are just not happening fast enough in your life? Let’s talk about it because that’s where I am right now.

It’s somewhere in there. What is it? That dog. That fight. That grit. Too many are passive today and we’ve got to fix it.

Let’s catch up real quick. It’s been a minute. I forgot to talk to you about Arizona and my trip out there with my youngest son. And let’s talk about Life as a high school baseball coach in the JV division. I hope you guys have a wonderful day and thank you for following and sharing.

I can’t stress to you how important it is for you to be aware of your surroundings at all times nowadays… Let’s talk about it

Sometimes your plan takes a turn that’s unexpected and you just have to run with it because it just makes sense. Let’s talk about it.

Be thankful for even the littlest things…

Ep. #211 - Shoot Straight #raymolina #theperfectmesspod #podcast

Fall back… #raymolina #theperfectmesspod #podcast #fallback

What an absolute whirlwind of a month it was been. Baseball kicked off and it’s been fun and already wild ride. But then here comes…you guessed it: TIKTOK…(wait what?) yea, let’s talk about what is going on with my TikTok and my Lives. Wow…so much to talk about.

We all have them and if we go searching we will find one to get us through doing something we know we should be doing.

Everyone in our life has a role to play. You have to love them for that. Let me explain.

Sometimes we envy the wrong things

Since you asked. Here’s my thoughts on the protesting going on. Let’s talk about it…

Sometimes you need to remind yourself to take a break and to give yourself a personal time out from all the BS going on in the world.

There is no in between, either we are getting better or we’re not.