THE QUACK

‘Is there ever a time you feel more peer pressure than when you’re with your partner’s friends?’    This week is about friends and partners and those vital first impressions. Includes a facepalm moment involving Tequila.    Read | TheQuack.blog Sound/music | Soundstripe.com  Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites   Bad Dates Club is coming out in September 2026. Preorder it here.

'Biological clocks were ticking; hairlines were receding; we had no time for dating games. And yet, there were games. So many games...'   This Quack is about my rusty dating years and how that time inspired my second novel, Bad Dates Club.    Read it | Thequack.blog Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites  Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Preorder Bad Dates Club wherever you get your books. Coming 10th September     

'We were doing leg circles when a man farted so loudly that it disturbed my inner peace for days...'   This week, we go on my "Yoga journey" from a fancy Reformer Pilates studio to a hot-pod yoga tent in North London... and all the mishaps along the way.    Photos on TheQuack.Blog Follow my IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites Read my novel | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy  Sound and music credit | Soundstripe.com   The Quack is produced, written, recorded and edited by Mary Newnham 

"Oh! Maybe I should come as the Easter Bunny!' 🐰   On this week's Quack, I go back to the 90s, when the Easter Bunny didn't quite live up to my expectations. And all these easter eggs have me thinking about my own eggs...   Skip introduction | 4:01 Visit | TheQuack.blog (for photos) Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Buy my book - Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy   Subscribe for future episodes   

"We watched in awe as the husband emerged from the sea with his new wife on his shoulders..."   It's time for some winter sun. Roman and I went on holiday to a (not-so) inclusive resort in the Maldives and encountered a very interesting bunch of people.    Skip Intro: 3:00 Vist | TheQuack.blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound and Music | Soundstripe.com   Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy is out now!

“Can you sign this one for my personal trainer? Say thank you for looking after my dad.”   To wrap up 'The Story of Writing A Novel' series, I officially launch my debut novel into the world. To celebrate, I overordered merchandise and threw a book launch at INK&84 in North London.  Skip introduction: 2:25 Order| Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy at Ink Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

On the last episode of How to Author, I talk to Sunday Times Bestseller Laura Marshall. (Friend Request, My Husband's Killer, Kiss Marry Kill). We talk about her success as a thriller author, building a life around full-time writing, and question how important social media is for an author. A fantastic chat full of solid advice for any writer out there.   Laura's latest book, 'Kiss Marry Kill', is OUT NOW! My debut, 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy', is out THIS WEEK!   Follow @LauraMarshallAuthor @MaryNewnhamWrites   Read TheQuack.blog

"Drink water, compliment one stranger a day, travel to somewhere hot, travel to somewhere cultural, save the environment, and wear a red Slipknot mask..."   Happy 2026! This week's Quack is about goal culture. Is it me, or are we trying to achieve too much? Even the arts have goals now.    Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites   Sound | Soundstripe.com

On today's episode of the mini series, How to Author, I talk to romance novelist, Georgia Stone. (Friendship Fling, The Roommate Rule). We talk about Georgia's journey from Bookstagrammer to self-publishing her first novel, to signing a book deal with Hodder. We discuss writing routines, building author communities, and using social media effectively. It's a bubbly conversation filled with tips and tricks to help any new author.   Preorder Georgia's next novel - 'The Roommate Rule' (May 21st 2016) Preorder Mary's debut - 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy'   Follow us on Instagram MaryNewnhamWrites GeorgiaStoneWrites

In the first episode of the mini-series 'How to Author', I talk to best-selling novelist Fiona Gibson. ('The Woman Who Ran Away From Everything', 'The Full Nest', 'When Life Gives You Lemons'). We discuss Fiona's author journey, balancing family life, handling negative reviews, and her writing ticks. It's a lively conversation (lots of giggling) with solid advice for any writer.   Books You can preorder Fiona's latest book (February 20th) - 'The Woman Who Turned Her Life Around' NOW! You can also preorder my debut - 'Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy'   Follow us! @MaryNewnhamWrites @Fiona_Gib  and subscribe to Fiona's Substack - All Grown Up by Fiona Gibson.

“'This isn’t happiness' is about a woman’s inner turmoil when the intimacy vanishes from a relationship…” *Puffs cigarette*   On this week's episode, I try my best to be cool as I launch my book, 'This isn't happiness', in Germany.   Visit: TheQuack.Blog Buy: This isn't happiness (German translation) Preorder: Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy (UK version) Follow: @MaryNewnhamWrites

In the lead-up to the launch of my debut novel, Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy, I am asking three established authors for advice about the author life. Join me here on The Quack for the first episode of HOW TO AUTHOR—coming Monday, January 5th.  Follow: @marynewnhamwrites Visit: TheQuack.Blog  

"I, an adult, had made some characters in my head, and now I’m in a boardroom, having a professional discussion with another adult about them..."   It's Part 4 of the Story of Writing a Novel, and some remarkable things are starting to happen. Includes a failed therapy session and the creation of a Liverpudlian stripper.    (Note: there is some swearing in this episode. Also note, some dialogue has been exaggerated for creative purposes.)    Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy Sound| Soundstripe.com    

"We paused in front of the bed, where there was a display of red and white balloons." 🇫🇷🎈 I had my first romantic getaway in Paris. I was so concerned about discovering unflattering details about my new boyfriend that I had completely forgotten just how tricky I could be to travel with.   Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy

I couldn't risk wasting time on real men when I had fictional men to worry about.   This week, we continue the story writing the book. This is the part where I try to get an agent and fail at dating — also known as 'The Cringe Era'.   Listen to Parts 1 and 2 before this episode.   Visit | TheQuack.Blog  Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Skip Introduction | 3:15 Sound | Soundstripe.com   Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon

"I should have kids with names and a strong opinion on Peppa Pig, but somehow, at 34, I have found myself back in London..."   This week is about my move back to London as a 34-year-old. After leaving with a bad taste in my mouth at 26 (which inspired me to write a terrible poetry book), I never thought I'd come back to live in The Big Smoke, but here I am... maybe it's where I was supposed to be all along.      Visit | TheQuack.Blog Preorder | Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy Follow | MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary, how do you expect to be a published author if you can't even score a high grade on a short story?"   This week on The Quack, we continue the series 'The Story of Writing a Novel.' I head back to university to do a Master's in creative writing. There is a drama involving my Metamorphosis book and a sharp learning curve about verbs.    Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy. Visit | TheQuack.blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound | Soundstripe.com Link to Guardian article   

 'That’s right, I thought in my haze, I have a boyfriend now.' On this week's Quack, I celebrated my 34th birthday by taking my new boyfriend to his very first spa. Unfortunately, it was not the relaxing experience I had promised...   Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY 

This month has been a bit chaotic, so I will be returning on September 17th with more facepalm stories. Thank you guys! x

It seemed barbaric, and yet, she was so casual about it, as if she were demonstrating how to season a chicken.   With the help of Reddit reviews, I'm choosing my next birth control method. This episode also includes some seriously great ideas for male contraceptives.    If you want to know more about birth control, click here.   Skip Introduction| 2:04 Sound | soundstripe.com Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog   Pre-order my debut fiction book, AMY ELMAN DOESN'T FEEL SEXY, on Amazon.   

"It would be called Can of Worms. Sunday Times Bestseller list, here I come."   In this first episode of the series, I am going back to the very beginning when I attempted my first novel.    Skip Introduction | 2:21 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com Preorder Amy Elman Doesn't Feel Sexy on Amazon and other popular book stores. 

I made the mistake of asking Dad, “But do billboards actually work?” I may as well have asked if Tottenham Hotspur was a synchronised swimming team.   This week is about growing up in an 80s advertising family and working out what my dad did for work.    Skip Intro | 2:11 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrites Sound| Soundstripe.com

"The turnout was 50 girls and 10 terrified boys..."   This week is a flashback to my 2010 school prom...which wasn't anything like the ones in the movies.    Skip Introduction | 2:27 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com    

"I then remembered it wasn't football, so these grown-ups could be trusted not to punch each other in the face..."    I went to the rugby final on Saturday, which made me reflect on my football upbringing.   Skip Introduction | 2:05 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | TheQuack.blog  

“STOP! I LEFT THE CHEESE!” We twisted around and punted back to the boathouse to collect the cheese. 🧀   It's Hermione's birthday, and this year we all went punting in Oxford. I made the mistake of getting in the wrong boat....   Skip Introduction | 1:38 Follow | @MaryNewnhamWrite Read | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"I was biting into my vegetable kebab when I received a message from the Hinge bloke. I read the top line and rolled my eyes..."   It's been over a year since I've been on Hinge, but I'm now back on the dating horse. This is the story of my first online dating experience of 2025.    Skip Introduction | 1:50 Read | TheQuack.blog Follow | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"I did wonder, as I was walking around the Eiffel Tower in a red dress, whether, perhaps, I had watched too many movies..."   This week on The Quack, I reflect on the face-palm moments from my recent girls' trip to France. Includes a desperate scene of me trying to create a romantic moment by the Eiffel Tower, a game of charades with the Airbnb host, and an AI song about tariffs.   Skip Introduction| 2:09 Follow me|  @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com

"3 days into the challenge, I realised I wasn't the dazzling compliment giver I originally thought I was."   For Lent, instead of giving up cherry cola Tic-Tacs, I challenged myself to compliment 40 strangers in 40 days. Today, I have the results of how it went. (Not well).   Thank you for continuing to support. I have a few deadlines coming up, and so for now, The Quack will be coming out once a fortnight until life gets a little less crazy. On the plus side, I have some exciting novel news, which I will announce very soon. MN x   Visit | THEQUACK.BLOG Follow| @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com

"Have sex with them. I find they stop laughing at your jokes once they've seen your nipples."   The sun is out, and couples are uncuffing, ready for their hot single summer. As an expert singleton, I have a few tips to share...   Skip Introduction | 2:22 Visit | TheQuack.Blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"Are you literally carrying around a focaccia?” Last Thursday night, I went out with my science friends. It was a typical night for any friendship group in their 30s, except (as this is The Quack) there were some face-palm moments.    Skip Introduction | 1:28 Follow me | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.Blog Sound | Soundstripe.com If you're in London, you must watch News Revue | Link here  

"I watched with astonishment as boys clumsily worked out that the humour which impressed their mates wasn't necessarily the humour that impressed us girls..."   As it was April Fool's this week, I thought I would explore the differences in humour between men and women, particularly when pranking.   Skip Introduction | 2:01 Follow me on the Gram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit | The Quack Sound | Soundstripe.com

"Like reaching for a diet book when you’re unsatisfied with your body, I leaned into self-help because I was frustrated with my personality."   This week's muddled observation is about the self-improvement industry and how I used it during my quatre-life crisis.    Skip Introduction | 3:13 Follow Me on Instagram | @marynewnhamwrites Visit Me | THEQUACK.BLOG Sound | Soundstripe.com     Sources https://www.zionmarketresearch.com/report/self-improvement-market

“Let me show you something that will make your ovaries twerk.”   This week on The Quack, I contemplate motherhood and whether it is right for me after being traumatised by my 90's singing doll. Also, I take the time to admire the hot dads of the world.    🎈 HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO AUDIO QUACK 🎈   Skip Intro | 2:21 Follow me on IG @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit and subscribe to The Quack Blog Sound credits | Soundstripe.com  

"I bought a horse in a car park!" Dad texted.   It's Cheltenham Festival! I will not be going, but my Dad certainly is. This week is about being an outsider of a horse racing family, and witnessing a hobby that gets out of hand....🏇   The Guardian article | https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2011/dec/30/tony-mccoy-fractured-ribs-taunton Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.blog Follow me on IG | www.Instagram.com/MaryNewnhamWrites Sound Credit |  www.Soundstripe.com    

Nobody wants to be the heavy-breathing stalker who whispers to someone, "You have nice long spine."    Today's Quack is a muddled observation about complimenting strangers...and why we avoid it.    Vist | TheQuack.blog Follow me | @marynewnhamwrites Sound | Soundstripe.com    

If it wasn’t tricky enough to try and lure a man away from his life of freedom, football, mates and Camden Hells, try adding a brace.   This week on The Quack is about the trauma of wearing braces as a teenager, and again as a single woman in her thirties.   Follow IG | @MaryNewnhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com    

“DON'T YOU DARE SAY JUST. THAT’S THE WOMAN’S CURSE WORD. IT’S JUST…. IT’S JUST...”   This week in the Quack, I tell the story of doing a home makeover and all the characters I met, from the Hang Man to the angry sofa man.    Skip Intro | 1:38 Sound | Soundstripe.com Follow me | @MaryNenwhamWrites Visit | TheQuack.blog 

“I can’t stay any longer. I’m sorry, it’s just not my cup of tea!”    This week on The Quack, I reflect on all the times audience members (including myself) have not behaved in the theatre.   Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read Here | TheQuack.Blog Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com  

"I had a striped shirt on because I thought that's what people wore to offices..."   In today's Quack, I reflect on the years when I was building up my CV with work experiences...Some experiences were better than others.    Read and see photos  | TheQuack.blog Skip Introduction | 1:55 Sound & Music | Soundstripe.com Follow me on The Gram | @MARYNEWNHAMWRITES  

“You want him to have the pick of the bunch, but he picks you,” Sausage said, waving her fork in the air.  Four school friends have brunch and discuss being single in their thirties.  Skip Introduction | 1:35 Visit| TheQuack.blog Music | Soundstripe.com

🎶Oh, look what I have…. another emotionally unavailable man. 🎶   A passion for musical theatre but without the talent. This week on The Quack, Sex-Ed Tom and I go to see the musical Titanique. And it brings back memories of when I dropped out of theatre school...

She can list the names of Farrow & Ball paints as if they were her nephews and nieces... This week on The Quack, I'm decorating my bathroom with Hermione. 👯‍♀️But will my interior designer mum approve of the colour? 🎨👩 Find me on TikTok @MaryNewnham for an attempted ‘before and after’ time-lapse video Skip Introduction | 1:35 Blog | www.TheQuack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

"By 5 pm, I was such a hangry goblin that I could have jumped on someone’s shoulders and ripped their head off like the vampire in Twilight." Gym-uary is here, and everyone is pumped! I may groan, but it's far better than the Size 0 trend that was around when I was a teen.  Skip Introduction | 1: 54 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Sounds & music  | Soundstripe.com

"I realised that if I was ever going to achieve my goal, I either needed singing lessons.... or alcohol."    Happy New Year! Today, I am reflecting on my New Year's resolution to try to gain enough courage to perform karaoke while sober.     Skip Introduction | 1:30 Read The Quack | Www.TheQuack.blog Music & Sound | Soundstripe.com Book recommendation | This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol by Annie Grace.     

"If you want to attract attention to yourself, I highly recommend walking around with a tree."   This week's episode features a history-ish lesson about the Christmas tree and a very dramatic journey carrying a tree. Check out The Quack for photos of the journey.    Skip Introduction | 1:38 Visit | www.TheQuack.Blog Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Contact | [email protected]

"I’m relieved Spotify Wrapped was not around in my school days because my delicate ego would have been smashed to pieces."   This week on the Quack is about Spotify Wrapped and how it exposes your true cringe-worthy self.   Skip Introduction | 3:05 Visit | www.thequack.blog Sound | Soundstripe.com  

 If David Cameron were to peep out of his curtain, he would have seen a blob of tangled fairy lights running down the street.   The Christmas season is here! 🎄 Today's muddled observation is about how the office Christmas party has changed over the last decade. Featuring a facepalm moment about my first office Christmas party.   Skip Introduction | 1:45 Music & SFX | Soundstripe.com Visit The Quack | www.TheQuack.Blog

Clementine glared at me as if to say, “Please give her a grandchild.”   Today I tell a story about the time Mum adopted an old Cornish Retriever named Clementine. 🐕🦴🌊☀️   Skip Into | 1:50 Sound | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.blog

"DO NOT join a running club!" 🏃‍♀️   Redownloading Hinge. Deleting Hinge. A rejection from RAYA. How to attract someone without the apps?    Skip Introuduction | 2:10 Soundtrack and SFX | Soundstripe.com Blog | TheQuack.Blog

He took great joy in telling me that the word ‘avocado’ translates into ‘testicle’. A muddled observation about the differences between millennials and boomers.  Skip Introduction 2:00.   Sound | Soundstripe.come Visit the blog | www.thequack.blog