The Winds of Time: A Wheel of Time Readthrough Podcast

In which our heroes make decisions about the future

In which our heroes kill time. Mike blows everyone’s mind with a callback. Amal is a Dreamer. James has parenting advice. Isaiah gets angry at Mike. And everyone is shocked and surprised at the incredible identity reveal

In which our heroes have different conversations in different combinations Mike is an old man. Amal’s contempt for the Forsaken is spreading to the Black Ajah James is the original party animal Isaiah is super sincere and not at all sarcastic. And everybody argues about Mazrim Taim.

In which our heroes settle in for a nice relaxing evening and absolutely NOTHING TERRIBLE WILL HAPPEN. Mike won’t play in that space. Amal has had enough of The Joke. James is in a race between the entirety of the Wheel of Time and Alchemized. Isaiah gets kicked off the podcast. And everybody talks. At LENGTH.

Mike didn’t do his homework. Amal randomly rates everything. James is a habitual outlier. Isaiah has subjective feelings about Moraine that are objectively wrong. And everybody takes a side tangent into Project Hail Mary

In which our heroes fulfill their destinies Mike ditches the podcast. Amal is attacked by a grolm. James sees Agents of the Dark everywhere. Isaiah takes over the Amal Contempt role for this episode. And everybody learns about giant Pakistani lizards

In which our heroes converge EVEN CLOSER Mike sings opera Amal has nothing but contempt for the Forsaken James gots dirty jokes Isaiah stuffed his craw with raw fish and rice And everyone has super realistic hopes and dreams for the finale.

In which our heroes wrap up their book long journeys Mike has Reanimal PTSD Amal gets free books James gets his overthinking shut down Isaiah is the Birthday Boy! And we have our shortest episode ever!

Mike corrects the record Amal has returned! James corrupts the youth Isaiah gets nostalgic And everyone is creeped out by Zarine

In which our heroes begin to converge Mike triggers James Amal doesn’t trigger anyone cause she’s sick James triggers Mike Isaiah tries to trigger everyone And everyone goes about 50/50 on the various prophecies.

In which our heroes make some new... friends? Mike has no interest in Dune Amal is skeptical James is a recovering sicko. Isaiah likes him a sad boy And everyone is DEEPLY suspicious of High Lord Samon

This episode sucks. Like, it's bad. My voice was on the mend, but still super rough, the recording software decided it didn't want to do its job, and everything is garbage and it sucks and I hate it.

In which our heroes continue to uncover intrigue   Mike wants the metric system. Amal locks up. James jumps seven episodes ahead to the book recap. Isaiah DNFs for the very first time. And everyone learns about Möbius strips All about Möbius strips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj3HqRtC-T8 Today's Lucky Ten Thousand: https://xkcd.com/1053/  

In which our heroes have awakenings Mike IS NOT MANSPLAINING. Amal has a different book. James drills down on familial relationships. Isaiah is a Hawkwing Stan. And everyone has recovered from last week’s little bit of narrative dip.

In which our heroes learn about intrigue Mike is concerned.  Amal takes James’s role. James ruins the magic. Isaiah makes THE OBSERVATION. And nobody likes Siuan’s turns of phrase.

In which our heroes follow on the trail Mike rants about Jurassic Franchise Amal dips out early James fights the e-reader revolution Isaiah gets an “Oh, SNAP.” And the Green Bay Packers are a continual thread of discussion throughout the episode.

In which our heroes go camping, and you're gonna watch. Mike tries to foment relationship discord, and quite rightly, nobody goes for it. Amal’s derision for the villains is spreading. James is a year older, but not an hour richer. Isaiah lovingly engages in casual bigotry. And the San Francisco 49ers are a continual thread of discussion throughout the episode.

In which the newbies just... really dish out the hate. Mike brutally shuts down the possibility of guest panelists (except Brandon Sanderson who can come on anytime he wants) Amal just… REALLY HATES Ba’alzamon. James gives an answer expected by nobody Isaiah hurts both hearts and souls. And people go places, they do things, and stuff happens.

In which our heroes converge and ALL the Chekov's Guns go off. Mike drops what he thinks is an earth-shattering revelation, but no one else really cares that much. Amal is doomed to impatience. James overthinks Isaiah has strong feelings about Ingtar And everyone is blind going forward

In which our heroes continue to converge Mike gets it wrong multiple times Amal refuses to take the bait James picks a fight with Kate Reading Isaiah summarizes a chapter perfectly And half the episode is spent talking about one chapter

In which our heroes converge, and desperate times require desperate measures. Mike rants. Amal declines a point she didn’t receive. James slanders Bela. Isaiah gets skeeved out. And everyone fears the Seanchan more than Ba’alzamon.   The image of Liandrin referenced: https://images2.minutemediacdn.com/image/upload/c_fill,w_2160,ar_16:9,f_auto,q_auto,g_auto/shape%2Fcover%2Fsport%2F9008c48ec1012154f4b5297a3d560f84441712f5fe695cc3879410909c74ecfa.jpg

In which our heroes go to a party Mike cleanses himself of his sins. Amal gets her turn. James is a stranger to the subtle art of seduction, as performed by married noblewomen of the Cairheinin nation. Isaiah doesn’t do names. And American Thanksgiving is completely forgotten about until the very end and then only glossed over.

In which our heroes chase, get chased, meet new people, and just royally screw up. Mike gots jokes Amal tries to spoil the ending of Shogun James gets weirdly antagonistic toward coffee Isaiah admits that Mike is right And nobody fears or respects the Forsaken 

In which our heroines gain some knowledge Mike is enervated James is in mourning Amal is sick Isaiah's hamster power electrical grid fails And there are so many tangents there's no way to follow anything.

In which our heroes make new friends Mike is once again confused by Canada, and all things Canadian Amal’s lack of fear of Ba’alzamon is spreading James keeps getting interrupted Isaiah sticks to his guns And everybody agrees that that b*tch from the next chapter is Lanfear 

In which our heroes get a restful night's sleep. Mike calls out Steven Erikson on his naming bullshit Amal is caught unawares James doesn’t know Shakespeare. Isaiah prepares ye the way of the Malazan And absolutely nobody makes note of the fact that this is the twentieth episode.

In which our heroes set off on a sizeable chase Mike subjects everyone to family dynamics. Amal opens the Robert Jordan Stock Phrases can of worms and spills it all over the podcast. James drills down on everyone’s ages, again. Isaiah subconsciously ships Rand and Nynaeve. And everybody sucks at doing accents

In which our heroes make mistakes Mike draws parallels to geopolitical conflicts. Amal has nothing but disdain for Ba’alzamon. James snubs his wife on their anniversary. Isaiah is disgusted. And for the first time in the podcast’s history, nobody makes a Tolkien or Harry Potter reference.  

In which our hero runs around like a chicken with his head cut off. Mike is forced to defend Shakespeare’s honor Amal’s fury outburns Ba’alzamon’s. James, for all of the reading he has done, does not recognize one of the most FAMOUS AND IMPORTANT LITERARY DEVICES OF ALL TIME Isaiah would be more evil And nobody knows what [Spoiler] knows.

Mike loses his mind editing. Amal and Isaiah team up to craft a theory. James dips out to go to a wedding Isaiah is sick of the swords And everybody  is excited to start the second book.

In which our heroes go there and back again. Mike RAFOs everyone and everything forever and ever world without end, amen. Amal runs with a theory in exactly the wrong direction James demands answers Isaiah does a dramatic reenactment And everybody gets to have their first experience with the Big White Book of Bad Art The Horn of Valere: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot/images/8/85/Horn_of_Valere.JPG The Fisher-Price Toys-R-Us lookin’ piece of shit: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot-prime/images/4/4d/Horn_of_Valere_infobox.jpg Thom Merrilin: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot/images/e/e7/Thom_Merrilin.JPG Egwene al’Vere: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot/images/6/64/Egwene_al'Vere.JPG Galad: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot/images/b/bb/Galadedrid.JPG The White Tower: https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/wot/images/b/ba/White_Tower.JPG  

In which our heroes hear stories Mike gets reductive about Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons (yes, I had to look that up because Ice and Fire is BORING and I DNFed halfway through the first book). Amal is original style James tries to explain sports Isaiah leaves out a VERY important word And everybody gets in-depth about the show

In which our ways take a lovely constitutional through a horrific miasma of darkness and soul sucking wind. Mike puts an end to the funny funny colloquialism Amal gets needlessly nihilistic James reads into and overthinks things too much Isaiah steals the Tolkien reference from James And everybody, once again, takes a Spontaneous Last Minute Digressionary Interlude

In which our heroes are reunited, and it feels so good.   Mike stomps down on a theory before it gets profligately out of hand Amal refuses to suspend her disbelief James learns some new stuff Isaiah fails to make the joke Everybody fixates on an ultimately unimportant plot hole, and just… GOD I hope you all like “The Girl from Ipanema”.

In which our heroes reach their various destinations Mike once again completely forgets about Isaiah Amal frees us from the torment of the Three-Pronged Leaf James just… really loves his Tolkien, doesn’t he? Isaiah is annoyed by the chapter icons and everyone is getting sent to The Hague for the actual legitimate criminal crime of not laughing at one of the funniest jokes ever told.

In which our heroes flashback to a flashback Mike goes off about dreams Amal gets deep into logistics James gets pouty Isaiah finally manages to get a correct guess for the future (If you know, you know) and not a single living soul realized this was the tenth episode, so no special parties were had.

In which our heroes get in all sorts of trouble Mike loves the sibling dynamic of his newbies Amal doesn’t back down James sticks to his guns Isaiah is eternally wrong and everyone gets hyped for the next four chapters

In which our heroes are all meandering their way across the continent. Mike is rawdoggin’ this episode Amal is broiling James cooks up some conspiracy theories Isaiah has feelings towards Aram and the real Wheel of Time is the friends we made along the way.

In which our heroes learn new things about themselves. Mike lets his newbies have their delusions. Amal ships Lan and Nynaeve. James replaces Tolkien comparisons with Star Wars comparisons. Isaiah called his shots, and he’s sticking to them. and the newbies are all suspicious of Mike, who is ONLY TRYING TO ENHANCE THE EXPERIENCE OF READING THE SERIES AND MAKE IT AS GOOD FOR THEM AS IT CAN BE CAN YOU JUST HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME.

In which our heroes, after an argument between the two leaders of the group, enter the mines of Moria, one of them is a fool of a Took, they get separated, are told to fly you fools, and… wait… hold on… Mike goes squeaky Amal gets, just, REALLY passionate James finds shades of Tolkien everywhere Isaiah hates Florida drivers and no one knows how old Thom is.

In which our heroes have their first taste of a "Big City." Mike isn’t even a little bit bitter. Amal is once again SO CLOSE and yet so far. James locks in on everyone’s age Isaiah is off riding the Trolls Trollercoaster and you really don’t want to know how much time I spent trying to find the Girl From Ipanema clip.

In which our heroes reach a new town, and we get twelve megatons of lore dropped right on our unsuspecting heads. Mike defends Wicked’s honor, Amal considers genetic breeding programs, James triggers Phantom Menace PTSD, Isaiah drags the podcast back from the brink, and everyone is just gonna have to read and find out.

In which our heroes set forth in to a brave new world. Mike IS Little Miss Moffet, Amal is kinda right, but exactly wrong about multiple things, James spins a spontaneous but still very thoughtful theory, Isaiah triggers Malazan PTSD, and NOBODY understands the cover art. Email us: [email protected]

In which our hero takes a leisurely stroll through the woods.  Mike considers renaming the podcast. Isaiah has a theory about trees. Amal is suspicious. James asks questions to which he absolutely is not getting answers. Email us! We'd love to hear from you! [email protected]

In which our heroes James, Amal and Isaiah set forth on a perilous quest. To read through the entirety of The Wheel of Time book series, led by a Wheel of Time veteran, who is extra smug about his knowledge.  Mike is a smug secret-keeper. James loves Tolkien. Isaiah lets everyone know what it's like to be 17. Amal has definite feelings about wind.