TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Dr. Ross Greene’s work has profoundly shaped how so many of us think about kids’ behavior and what they actually need from the adults in their lives, so I’m thrilled to welcome him back to the show to talk about his brand new book, The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. Together, we explore the urgent need to reimagine how we support children in schools, especially as mental health concerns continue to rise. We dig into the importance of recognizing developmental variability, why meeting kids where they are is non-negotiable, and how current behavior-focused systems miss the real problems underneath. Ross also highlights the role parents and caregivers can play in advocating for meaningful change.

Today’s conversation is a candid, honest look at what it’s really like to parent while navigating ADHD yourself. My guest is Laura Key, Vice President of Content Strategy at Understood.org and the host of the award-winning ADHD Aha! podcast. Laura was diagnosed with ADHD at 30, and she brings both professional insight and lived experience to this conversation as a mom raising two neurodivergent kids. Laura and I talk about the emotional labor so many mothers carry, the unique challenges parents with ADHD face, and why self-compassion is not optional—it’s essential. We dig into shame, burnout (both the quiet, everyday kind and the big, overwhelming kind), communication with partners, and the pressure that can come with framing ADHD as a “superpower.” This episode is an honest exploration of the joys and struggles of parenting with ADHD, and a reminder that you’re not alone in any of it.

Today, we’re talking about aggression, specifically in boys, and how we as parents can respond with understanding, connection, and compassion instead of fear or shaming. Joining me is Tosha Schore, a powerful voice in peaceful parenting and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. Tosha is also the creator of the Out With Aggression program and co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. She’s spent decades helping parents shift the way they relate to their kids, especially when big behaviors show up.In our conversation, Tosha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys, and how it’s so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration. We explored how society often mislabels boys as “bad” when they make mistakes with little room for second chances. Tosha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Laura Markham to unpack the often messy world of sibling dynamics—especially when one or more kids are neurodivergent. We talk about why peaceful parenting starts with connection, how to handle those inevitable “it’s not fair!” moments, and how to repair after conflict. Laura shares thoughtful, practical strategies for supporting each child’s unique needs while nurturing more positive sibling relationships, even when things feel really hard.

This is a fascinating conversation about a straightforward and powerful tool for communication with our kids, especially if we’re stuck in conflict cycles over differing needs. Clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Kline join me for a deep dive into motivational interviewing—an approach to communication that helps parents move from fixing and convincing to connecting and collaborating. We talk about how to have hard conversations (think: hygiene, responsibility, and independence) in a way that respects our kids’ autonomy and actually opens the door to change.

IFS, or Internal Family Systems, is a powerful and compassionate therapeutic framework for understanding the different “parts” within ourselves—like the inner critic, the protector, the people-pleaser. Through IFS, we can learn how to befriend and heal those parts so we can show up more fully as our true Self. I’m pretty fascinated by IFS and have seen how transformative it can be in helping people truly heal and find more peace in their lives. In my research, I came across a therapist who not only feels the same but has fully stepped into the intersection of IFS and neurodivergence.In today’s episode, you’ll meet Jude Carn, a certified Level 3 Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapist, international consultant, and passionate advocate for neurodiversity. Jude walks us through the core concepts of IFS, explains how this framework can be especially healing for neurodivergent people, who often grow up feeling misunderstood, judged, or exiled, and shares insights on how IFS offers a respectful, empowering approach to trauma that allows each person to move at their own pace. Jude explains that recognizing and befriending one’s own parts can lead to deeper self-acceptance and a better relationship with ourselves.

I’m thrilled to share this conversation with Dr. Stephen Porges and Karen Onderko about the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), a therapeutic approach grounded in Stephen’s groundbreaking polyvagal theory. Stephen, a Distinguished University Scientist and originator of the polyvagal theory, has spent decades helping us understand how our nervous system shapes behavior, connection, and healing. Karen, who was instrumental in bringing SSP from the lab into clinical practice, has been a tireless advocate for expanding access to polyvagal-informed care around the world.In this episode, we dive into the origins of SSP, the science behind it, and what makes it such a powerful tool for supporting emotional regulation—especially for people navigating trauma and neurodivergence. Stephen and Karen share stories from real-life applications of the protocol, explain how co-regulation plays a central role, and highlight the many ways SSP can foster connection and resilience. Whether you’re new to polyvagal theory or already familiar, this is a hopeful and inspiring conversation about what’s possible when we work with the nervous system to support healing.

Today we’re exploring EMDR—Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—a therapeutic approach that’s been shown to be highly effective in treating trauma, including for neurodivergent individuals. My guest is Dr. Naomi Fisher, a clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma, autism, and alternative education, and an expert in EMDR. Naomi will share her journey into EMDR and explains not just the mechanics of how it works, but also what actually happens in a session. We talk about the importance of understanding trauma in children, particularly those who are neurodivergent, and why flexibility and attunement are so essential for therapists in creating a truly supportive environment.

Today’s episode an expert visit with Dr. Mel Houser—family physician, autistic PDAer, and founder of All Brains Belong—about the realities of navigating healthcare systems with neurodivergent kids and teens. Mel shares how their clinical work and lived experience have revealed predictable patterns in the “constellation” of intertwined neuro-immune conditions many autistic and ADHD people experience, why traditional medicine often misses them, and what families can do to get safer, more informed care. This conversation is packed with practical tools, system workarounds, and hope grounded in community and bottom-up change.Note: This is a special release of an expert conversation held inside the Differently Wired Club. Enjoy!

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by beloved Australian parenting expert and author Maggie Dent to explore what it really takes to raise resilient, emotionally healthy teens in today’s ever-changing world. Drawing on her experiences as a high school teacher, mother of four boys, and trusted voice in the parenting space, Maggie shares practical, compassionate guidance for navigating adolescence with insight, humor, and heart. We dive into the realities of the teenage brain, how the digital age is reshaping childhood, and why curiosity, connection, and unconditional love are more important than ever in building strong, supportive relationships with our kids.

Today we’re talking about one of my favorite topics — what it really means to connect, collaborate, and let go of control as our kids grow into themselves as they enter the transformative teen years. My guest is Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist and parent coach who helps overwhelmed parents raise confident, emotionally healthy kids and teens, and the author of the brand new book, Love the Teen You Have: A Practical Guide to Transforming Conflict Into Connection. In our conversation, Ann-Louise shares insights from her book and offers a powerful reframing of what it means to parent through the teen years. We talk about shifting from control to curiosity—especially when raising neurodivergent kids—along with individuation, cognitive dissonance, and why living a fulfilling life as a parent is one of the best ways to model healthy behaviors for our teens. She also reminds us that it’s never too late to repair, reconnect, and love the teen we have right now.

Today I’m talking with Jacqui Byrne, the founder of FlexSchool, a pioneering educational model designed specifically for 2e students. Jacqui is an award-winning educational leader, a sought-after speaker, and a passionate advocate for neurodiverse learners. She’s also a parent of 2e kids herself, and she built FlexSchool not just as an educator, but as a mom determined to find a better way for her own children, who were struggling at school. This is Jacqui’s second time on the show—the last time was six years ago (and I encourage you to listen to that episode too). I wanted to bring Jacqui back to talk about what she’s learned and observed in supporting the learning and growth of twice-exceptional kids over the years.We get into all kinds of topics in this conversation, including the story behind FlexSchool’s creation and the philosophy that drives it, the power of talent-based learning, and how teachers and schools can become places of trust, safety, and joy for 2e kids who have often felt like misfits. Jacqui also shares insights into how behavioral issues in 2e students are often identity crises, and what it means to support their growth across the full arc of their lives.

Today we’re diving into the ways our own trauma can shape how we show up as parents, and how we can begin to break those inherited cycles with Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, a clinical child psychologist, trauma treatment expert, and author of Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be. In our conversation, Robyn shares insights from her book, including the concept of “secret ACEs,” the “trauma app” that can override our instincts, and the different subtypes of post-traumatic parenting. We also talk about how to recognize our triggers, the importance of self-care, and the role of the inner child in this work. Robyn’s approach blends research, clinical wisdom, and lived experience, and she offers practical hacks for navigating the challenges of parenting when trauma is part of our story.

In this Parent Lean in episode, Margaret and I answer the following question from a listener:I’m a single parent, neurodivergent myself and in burnout. I’m trying to manage my two neurodivergent kids following a divorce from their much beloved but profoundly limited ex -husband. I’m trying to create a safe, stable household and support my own fragile mental health and grief while working full -time. Self -care sounds great and whereas I understand deeply that it’s the only way forward, it feels impossible. (Context: Two children, ages 9 and 11 year old. They take out their anger on each other and the household feels explosive.)

Everyone faces big, difficult challenges at some point in life — it’s part of being human. And when we encounter these challenges while parenting, it’s up to us to help our kids make sense of things in healthy ways that foster resilience. But how exactly do we do that? My guest, author-illustrator Sara Olsher, is a strong advocate for talking to kids honestly about the big things happening in our families. She speaks from her own experience, having navigated difficult conversations with her daughter during a messy divorce, followed shortly by a cancer diagnosis. Despite her fears about using the word “cancer,” Sara knew it was important for her daughter to understand what was happening with accurate information. As Sara explained in our conversation, “Developmentally, the whole world revolves around them. So if you don’t talk with children about these things, they’ll invent a story that centers on them, and they may conclude it’s their fault.”I love talking with people who take their personal experiences and hard-earned wisdom and turn them into tools to help others feel more supported and confident. That’s exactly what Sara did, and today, she shares her journey with us. You’ll hear how she navigated her divorce and used her daughter’s anxiety as an opportunity to learn the power of visual schedules and open communication in helping kids cope with tough situations. She also discusses the series of children’s books she’s written to help parents tackle heavy topics like chronic illness, hospice, cancer, and emotions. One thing that really stood out to me was how going through hard times can actually prepare our kids to live with uncertainty.

In this Parent Lean-In episode, Debbie answers a listener’s question about how she restores, recharges, and makes time for herself while balancing parenting her neurodivergent child and running Tilt Parenting. She shares her best practices and ideas for prioritizing activities and ways of processing emotions that support overall well-being and filling her emotional and energetic reserves.

In this episode featuring a listener question, executive function coach Seth Perler joins Debbie to discuss how to prepare a fifth grader for the transition to middle school. They emphasize the importance of proactive planning and open communication with the child, provide strategies such as creating a study space, using calendars and planners, touring the school, setting up meetings with teachers, and decluttering and organizing, and discuss the possibility of homeschooling certain subjects. 

In this special Parent Lean In episode, I’m joined by Margaret Webb to answer a listener’s question about a challenge so many parents face—when your child seems to hold it together at school, only to fall apart at home. We get into what might be going on under the surface, including masking, the toll it takes, and how things like routines, 504 plans, and even spoon theory can help. We also explore ways to support smoother transitions from school to home and share ideas for helping your child conserve and replenish their energy throughout the day.

Today we’re diving into a topic that’s not just timely but that can transform education for all students: creating neurodiversity-affirming schools. Joining me to share their vision for what’s possible in education are two extraordinary advocates and experts, Amanda Morin and Emily Kircher-Morris who have collaborated on a wonderful new book on the topic, just out today in fact, Neurodiversity Affirming Schools: Transforming Practices So All Students Feel Accepted & Supported.In today’s episode, we explored why embracing neurodiversity in schools benefits every student, not just those with IEPs. Amanda and Emily unpacked the barriers to change in education, including stigma and fear, and introduce how strategies like Universal Design for Learning (UDL) can be used to create inclusive classrooms. We also discussed the Neurodiversity Affirming Teacher’s Compact, a framework for educators to embrace diverse learning needs, and finally, the importance of fostering self-advocacy skills in neurodivergent students. As you’ll hear in the conversation, this is not about calling teachers and schools out, it’s about calling them in and working together to make education serve each individual student. Enjoy this conversation with Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin.

A few months ago, I had my friend and colleague Cathy Adams on the show to talk about her book Restoring Our Girls and raising daughters to be emotionally healthy in a complicated world. I knew then that I wanted to have a similar conversation for a future episode, but this time, focusing on boys, specifically about why many teen boys are struggling right now and what we, as parents, can do to support them. I also knew exactly who I wanted to bring on the show to talk about this — Dr. John Duffy, a clinical psychologist who has spent the last 25 years working with adolescents, young adults, and families. John’s been on the show before to talk about his Parenting teens in an age of anxiety, but this time we’re going to get into the concepts he explores in his book Rescuing Our Sons: 8 Solutions to Our Crisis of Disaffected Teen Boys. In this conversation, we talk about the unique mental health challenges boys are facing today, from increased isolation and anxiety to the messages they are getting from society that are leading to self-doubt and emotional struggles. We also discussed how the pandemic intensified these issues and why paying attention to the media they are consuming is key to connecting with them. John also shared how neurodivergent boys may experience these challenges differently and shared practical strategies for fostering emotional resilience and self-worth. If you’re raising a boy and you are worried about their emotional well-being or feel unsure about how to support them in a rapidly changing world, this is a powerful listen.

If your child has extreme food aversions, anxiety around eating, or struggles with a very limited diet, you won’t want to miss this conversation. Today we’re diving into ARFID — Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder — or as my guest calls it, “picky eating on steroids.” To talk about ARFID, I circled back to Zoë Bisbing, a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in treating eating disorders and body image concerns with an affirming, neurodiversity-friendly approach. In this fascinating conversation, Zoë broke down what ARFID is, how it differs from other eating disorders, and why she sees it as a form of neurodivergence in its own right. We talked about how sensory sensitivities, anxiety, and even trauma can contribute to restrictive eating, and how the pandemic exacerbated these challenges for many kids. Zoe also explains why traditional eating disorder treatments often don’t work for ARFID and why a child-centered, individualized approach is key to building a positive relationship with food. If you’ve ever felt frustrated, worried, or unsure about how to support your child’s eating challenges, this episode will give you some practical strategies and some new affirming perspectives that might change the way you’ve been thinking about these issues.

Today we’re unpacking a topic that so many families struggle to understand—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD—especially when it shows up in children. My guest is Dr. Tamar Chansky, a clinical psychologist and author of the newly updated and revised edition of her seminal book Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. In our conversation, Tamar and I talk about how our understanding of OCD has evolved over the past 25 years, what intrusive thoughts really are, and how parents can recognize and respond to them with compassion and clarity. Tamar walks us through her five-step approach for helping kids manage OCD effectively, and she offers a message of hope—reminding us that with the right support, children can learn to take charge of their thoughts and lead full, joyful lives.

This week I’m joined by Zach Morris for a thoughtful conversation about the challenges of parenting neurodivergent teens who are approaching adulthood. We dig into a listener question about an almost-18-year-old who’s still really struggling, despite years of support. Zach and I explore the pressures parents face, the grief that can come up, how to hold boundaries with empathy, and why we need to rethink what success and failure actually mean. We also talk about the importance of understanding each child’s unique developmental timeline—and how to give ourselves and our kids space to pause, regroup, and keep going.

Today we’re diving into one of the most tender and complex stages of parenting—launching our neurodivergent young adults into independence, or more accurately, interdependence. My guest is Penny Williams, a parenting coach for neurodiverse families and the award-winning author of four books on ADHD, including Boy Without Instructions. In this episode Penny and I talk about the emotional challenges parents face during this transition, how to redefine what success and independence really look like, and why interdependence is often the goal that best supports our kids’ thriving. We also explore the healing and acceptance this stage asks of us as parents—and how, even in the uncertainty, there’s so much possibility for connection, growth, and joy. Also, this is part one of a two-part episode — listen to the rest of the conversation on Penny’s Beautifully Complex podcast, which you will find here. 

I’m thrilled to welcome back two favorite podcast guests and just all around wonderful humans, Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. You might know them from their bestselling book The Self-Driven Child, which I often refer to on this show as one of the most important resources in my parenting life. Well, Bill and Ned have a new phenomenal resource that I can’t wait to share with you — a workbook based on their beloved book called The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child. Today’s episode features a rich and deep conversation about some of the concepts they support parents in navigating in their new workbook, like why fostering autonomy is key to motivation, emotional well-being, and long-term success, why connection matters more than control, how to support our kids without trying to change them, and ways we can create a home environment that builds confidence and trust. They also share practical strategies for effective communication, including how to guide our kids through challenges without adding pressure or anxiety. As parents, it is scary to let go of control and to trust our kids to navigate their own problems, but as you’ll hear in this conversation, this is exactly what they need to be motivated. We know we can’t change them, but we can support them in finding the reason to change for themselves.

In this episode, I talk with psychology professor and author of the new book 10 to 25, Dr. David Yeager, about what really fuels motivation and a sense of belonging for our kids—especially neurodivergent ones. We unpack the different mindsets adults bring to the table—like enforcer, protector, and mentor—and how shifting into a mentor mindset can help kids feel respected, understood, and more engaged. David shares powerful insights about what helps adolescents thrive, and we explore how things like trust, connection, and belief in a child’s potential can make all the difference.

Today we’re taking a fresh, much-needed look at screen time—one that moves beyond fear, shame, and power struggles and into something far more nuanced and humane. My guest is Ash Brandin, also known as TheGamerEducator, and the author of the new book, Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. In this episode, Ash and I talk about screen time through the lenses of social equity and moral neutrality, and why empowering kids with skills, not control, is key to navigating technology well. We also explore practical strategies for managing screen use, how engaging with kids around their interests can change everything, and what a truly collaborative approach to technology can look like inside families. This is a grounded, compassionate conversation for anyone feeling stuck or conflicted about screens and modern parenting.

Today we’re digging into executive function — what it really is, why it matters so much for neurodivergent kids (and adults!), and how we can better support these skills without judgment or overwhelm. Sarah and I talk about how awareness around executive function has evolved, why self-regulation is foundational, and how different skills — emotional, cognitive, and behavioral — are all interconnected. She shares her supportive, nonjudgmental coaching philosophy, along with practical ideas for helping kids with lagging executive function skills and navigating resistance when it shows up. Most importantly, Sarah reminds us that there is so much hope here: executive function skills can grow, and there are concrete steps we can take to help our kids thrive.

Today’s show is all about navigating the school system when your child has disabilities—and how to do that with clarity, confidence, and a whole lot more support. My guest is Stacey Shubitz, author of the new book Make the School System Work for Your Child with Disabilities: Empowering Kids for the Future. In this episode, Stacey shares her journey as both an educator and a parent, and we dig into what parents really need to understand about special education, effective communication with schools, and the IEP process. She offers practical, empowering strategies for advocating for your child, managing the complexity of the system without losing yourself, and finding moments of joy and meaning along the way, even if (or when) the path feels overwhelming.

Today we’re talking about dyslexia—what it is, what it isn’t, and how parents can best support their children after a diagnosis. My guest is Rebecca Bush, a Certified Academic Language Therapist, Licensed Dyslexia Therapist, and founder of Lead Changes, a private practice that supports children with dyslexia, as well as the author of the new book Dyslexia and Your Newly Diagnosed Child, a compassionate, step-by-step guide for families just beginning this journey. In our conversation, Rebecca shares the myths and misconceptions parents often encounter, and the critical importance of early intervention. We talk about the early signs to look for, how language and advocacy shape outcomes, and the support systems that can make all the difference. Rebecca also offers practical, reassuring advice for parents navigating the emotional and practical realities of raising a child with dyslexia.

Today’s episode is a deep dive into tactile defensiveness and sensory distress, especially around clothing. My guest is Kathryn Hamlin-Pacheco, an occupational therapist who helps kids and families understand their brains and bodies through everyday neuroscience. Kathryn will break down what’s actually happening in the brain and nervous system when children experience tactile defensiveness, and why clothing can feel so overwhelming for some kids. We talk about the role of co-regulation, how parents can help create positive associations with getting dressed, and practical strategies for supporting children in navigating their sensory experiences with more safety and less stress. This episode is a grounding, compassionate look at sensory processing—and a reminder that when we understand what’s underneath the behavior, everything shifts.

Today I’m talking with Dr. Megan Anna Neff, a clinical psychologist, the host of the Divergent Conversations podcast, and the creator of Neurodivergent Insights, where she creates and shares fantastic, well-researched, and accessible resources for the neurodivergent community. Megan Anna is also the author of Self-Care for Autistic People, which we talked about in a previous episode, and her newest book which we’re talking about today, The Autistic Burnout Workbook. We’ll explore what autistic burnout is, how it shows up (especially in kids), and why it’s so often confused with depression. We also get into the realities of recovery, the importance of understanding each person’s baseline, and how to support kids through burnout in ways that are truly helpful.

In this episode I’m talking with Julie Green, author of the memoir Motherness, a powerful exploration of generational autism, parenthood, and radical acceptance. Julie, who was late-diagnosed herself and is raising an autistic child, takes us inside her journey of self-discovery and diagnosis, and we talk about the emotional complexities of coming to understand our own neurodivergence while parenting neurodivergent kids. We explore the healing power of writing, the importance of storytelling and compassion, and the challenges many families like ours face along the way. Julie’s memoir is a testament to these shared experiences, and this conversation is a deeply honest look at what it means to parent—and to live—with radical acceptance.

Today’s conversation is all about understanding and supporting autistic identity—how it develops, why it matters, and the ways parents and educators can help nurture it. I’m joined by Rebecca Duffus and Lyric Rivera, two incredible advocates doing powerful work in this space, and the authors of the new Autism, Identity & Me workbook for kids, and the accompanying professional and parent guide of the same name. In our conversation, we talk about the importance of identity development for autistic young people, the current state of neurodivergent education, and how parents and caregivers can foster a positive, affirming understanding of neurodiversity. We also dig into the “superpower” narrative—when it helps, when it doesn’t—and how to use Rebecca and Lyric’s Autism, Identity & Me workbook as a practical tool for ongoing conversations about identity, acceptance, and self-understanding.

Today we’re talking about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a deeply emotional experience that affects many individuals with ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence. My guest is Dr. Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist who has spent over 30 years working with neurodivergent children, teens, adults, and families. In our conversation, Sharon breaks down what RSD is, how it shows up in daily life, and why understanding it can be such a game changer, for both kids and parents. We talk about the emotional and psychological impact of RSD, practical tools for managing it, and how to cultivate self-compassion and resilience in the face of painful rejection or criticism. Sharon also shares strategies for helping kids navigate social situations with more confidence and less overwhelm, and for supporting ourselves as parents along the way.

This episode digs into the evolving understanding of ADHD and what it really means to parent with collaboration, connection, and support at the center. My guest is Cindy Goldrich, an internationally recognized expert in ADHD and executive function support and the author of 8 Keys to Parenting Kids & Teens with ADHD, a compassionate, research-informed guide that she’s just updated for today’s families. In our conversation, Cindy and I talk about why traditional approaches to ADHD often fall short and how parents can shift from managing behavior to building skills and connection. We also explore the challenges so many families face, what kids with ADHD are actually communicating, and practical, supportive strategies parents can start using right away.

Would you define your family as an ADHD family? Today’s guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, and the author of the book You, Me, and Our ADHD Family: Practical Steps to Cultivate Healthy Relationships, says that ADHD isn’t an individual experience – it’s a relational one. And the ADHD dynamic affects the entire family system. I know many listeners would identify as members of an ADHD family and so I’m excited to share this conversation and Tamara’s work with you. In our conversation, Tamara shared her personal and professional insights on what it really means to live in an ADHD family, from the emotional rollercoasters to the quirky dynamics that might feel familiar to you. We talked about how ADHD deeply affects relationships, communication, and emotional regulation across the whole family system. Tamara offered creative, relatable metaphors that help make sense of ADHD behaviors, and she emphasized the importance of self-awareness and revisiting our own childhoods to parent with more clarity and empathy.

In this conversation, I talk with clinical psychologist and author Dr. Naomi Fisher about self-directed education, and why it can be such a powerful approach for neurodivergent kids, especially those with a PDA profile. Naomi shares why agency is so important in learning, how traditional school can chip away at a child’s self-worth, and what it looks like when we truly support demand-avoidant kids in ways that work for them. We also get into the challenges parents face when stepping outside the norm and why keeping the parent-child relationship at the center is key.Things you'll learn from this episodeWhy agency in learning is essential for neurodivergent children to build confidence, reduce anxiety, and stay engagedHow self-directed education supports children—especially those with PDA—by minimizing pressure and honoring their natural paceWhy respecting a child’s right to say no is foundational for creating a safe, trust-based learning environmentHow understanding the cycle of demand avoidance helps reframe “bad behavior” as a response to overwhelm, not defianceWhy shifting away from rigid definitions of academic success can open the door to more authentic growth and capabilityHow prioritizing the parent-child relationship and finding community support helps families confidently navigate less conventional pathsResources mentioned⁠Dr. Naomi Fisher’s website⁠⁠Naomi Fisher on Substack⁠⁠A Different Way to Learn⁠ by Naomi Fisher⁠Eliza Fricker Talks About Parenting a Child with PDA⁠ (Tilt Parenting Podcast)⁠Eliza Fricker’s website⁠⁠The Family Experience of PDA⁠ by Eliza Fricker⁠Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook⁠⁠Changing Our Minds: How Children Can Take Control of Their Own Learning⁠ by Naomi Fisher⁠What Can We Do When School’s Not Working: An Illustrated Handbook for Professionals⁠ by Naomi Fisher⁠Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model

In this week’s episode, I’m talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, a mom of four, the former editor of the New York Times’ Motherlode column, and the author of the new book, How to Be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. In our conversation, KJ shares what she learned about happiness while writing her book, tells us what she believes is getting in our way and prevents us from finding happiness in the day to day (even when things are hard), and shares some strategies for building more happiness into our daily lives. I hope you enjoy our conversation!  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:Why being “happier” is a worthy goal for all parentsHow leading with our kids’ deficits shapes our experienceWhat’s getting in our way from being happier as parentsHow to make small changes to address challenges and weave more happiness into their daily lifeThe importance of zooming out and getting clear on our big, personal goalsRecognize how “in choice” we are in our parenting livesKJ’s thoughts on how to make screen time policies work better for familiesWhy it’s okay (even good) for us as parents to be happy even when our kids aren’tKJ’s strategies for training our brain to go down the happiness path

In this episode of Tilt Parenting, I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to itThe importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnoutWhy moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dadsWhat recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takesHow to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset

This week I'm talking with Jonathan Fields, a mega-firm lawyer turned award-winning author, serial entrepreneur, and expert in applied personal development and human potential. Jonathan is also the man behind the Good Life Project podcast, which is consistently ranked as one of the top podcasts in the world with more than 1,000,000 downloads/month and large global audience. I am one of those million listeners, and it was through listening to Jonathan’s podcast many years ago that I got connected to his books and a program he ran called Revolution U. Rev U was actually a significant support in helping me when I was first developing what would become Tilt Parenting. Jonathan’s most recent book is How To Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom, and so today I asked him to talk with us about his book and what we as parents raising different wired kids can learn about creating more purpose and meaning in our daily lives, even when we may sometimes feel as though we don’t have the bandwidth or energy or wherewithal to do so. I hope you enjoy our conversation!  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:The impetus for Jonathan’s book How to Live a Good LifeWhy the 3 main “buckets” for living a good life are connection, contribution, and vitalityWhy nurturing ourselves and connecting with our purpose is a key part of being able to show up for our kidsHow learning how to “own the unknown” can eliminate much personal sufferingWhy early intervention with differently wired kids is so criticalThe power of cultivating more compassion in our livesWhat parents can expert in their journey of supporting their kids

We’ve been talking a lot on the podcast about the current pandemic and all the ways it might be affecting our kids, and how to support and help them through it. But today, my fellow parents in the trenches, it’s time to talk about US. I’ve heard from many of you in the last few months, and I can certainly speak for myself as well, that we need support and help too! So, today I’ve invited parent coach Sheryl Stoller to the podcast to talk about the idea of getting grounded and reintegrated with ourselves. And as an uncertain and unfamiliar school year looms ahead for most of us (and our kids), this seems even more critical to discuss. I love Sheryl’s compassionate approach to mind and body awareness, something she has no doubt gleaned as the mother of three differently wired children herself. In our conversation, we talk about the surprising ways that the stress of our current situation might manifest, the ABCs of Integration and what that means, specific ways to reconnect with yourself, and much more. I gained so much from this conversation and I hope you do too.  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:Sheryl’s background and how she came to this workHow the culmination of stress over our lifetime can manifest in our bodiesThe importance of re-integrating within ourselves, and reconnecting with our bodiesWhat are the ABCs  of Integration: Awareness, Body, CompassionStrategies and tips for implementing body awarenessSheryl’s words of wisdom for re-entry to school and new routines

I’m excited to bring to you a conversation that every parent needs to hear, and especially parents of differently-wired kids, and especially at this moment in time. The topic is self-compassion and my guest is Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, and the author of many academic papers as well as the books Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook. Kristin also co-developed a training program called Mindful Self Compassion and is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.In our conversation, Kristin shares what she has learned about self-compassion, both through her research and her own experiences parenting an autistic child. She goes deep into what self-compassion really looks like,  why we are often more compassionate to others than ourselves, and shares some strategies for strengthening that self-compassion muscle both for ourselves and our kids. This is a powerful conversation and I promise you will finish this episode feeling uplifted, empowered to be more gentle with yourself, and perhaps most importantly, reminded that you are not alone. There is nothing we need to hear more right now. I’m so grateful to Kristin for sharing her wisdom and research.   THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:How Dr. Neff got into the work of self-compassion researchWhat it looks like to practice self-compassionWhy we judge ourselves so harshly and what keeps us from being a better self-friendWhat it means to practice self-comfortStrategies parents can use to accept and BE with their sufferingHow to teach kids and teens about self-compassion

Would you like to have tranquility by Tuesday? My guest, author, productivity guru, and mom of 5, Laura Vanderkam, is going to tell us how. Laura is the author of several time management and productivity books, including the one we are discussing today, Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters. I’ve long been a fan of Laura’s books, and so I was excited to talk with her about Tranquility By Tuesday, and honestly, since reading it, I’ve started incorporating some of her strategies into my world as I try to be more mindful and aware of how I spend my time. The results have been pretty great. I know so many of you are dealing with overwhelm and burnout — my hope is that you’ll take away one or two nuggets that you can play with in your daily life to move the needle closer to tranquility.During our conversation, Laura shared her definition of tranquility, the common myths that get in the way of building more peace in our lives, and why it’s so important for families to have adventures together. She also shared multiple strategies that I promise are easy enough to implement. And again, even though they might seem like small shifts, they can have a big impact in your world. Things you’ll learn from this episodeLaura’s definition of tranquility and pushing back against the perception of not having enough timeAdvice for parents who want to better manage their energy and find tranquility by TuesdayThe barriers and myths that get in the way of building peace and tranquilityStrategies to poke holes and reframe the stories that we tell ourselvesWhy it’s so important for families to have adventures togetherSimple “rules” or guidelines that can be game-changers in your daily life

A concept we have explored a lot on this show and in the Tilt community is agency — and always in the context of how to scaffold and support our kids in developing agency or helping them have a bigger sense of control and autonomy in their lives. But guess what? We — the parents and caregivers in our kids’ lives — we need agency too. And in this conversation, we’re going to be exploring how to expand our own sense of agency and personal choice so we can show up more intentionally to our daily lives as parents.And to talk with us all about this is Dr. Amy Hoyt, a mom of five children, three of whom are differently wired, and an author, podcaster and speaker passionate about helping others learn skills that allow them to parent and live with intention and agency. During this conversation, you’ll hear us talk about what agency and choice look like in the context of parenting and how micro choices can help us develop an internal locus of control, which is critical for us to have. Amy also gave us a few short, easy practices we can do that will help us strengthen our sense of agency, as well as reset our nervous system, which for so many of is us in need of support, especially if we tend to operate in a more hypervigilant state due to stressors in our parenting lives.And because Amy is an expert in trauma, we actually begin our conversion by talking about how residual trauma in adults can be triggered by our parenting journey and how it might show up, especially when we’re raising differently wired kids and we may be differently wired ourselves. And on that note, a quick trigger warning – in the beginning of this conversation, Amy shares why working in trauma is something she felt called to do, and as part of that, talks about abuse she experienced as a child. So please take care of yourself if that’s a subject that is difficult for you. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat trauma is and how it can show up in our lives and bodiesWhere to start if you want to get to know and work to heal your own traumaWhat a physiological sigh is and how you can use it to reset your nervous systemWhat agency is in the context of parenting, and why it’s so important to haveWhat it means to be “in choice” in our parenting lives, and how micro choices can help develop an internal locus of controlHow agency and trauma are connected

For this episode, I sat down with mindfulness mentor Hunter Clarke-Fields, host of the Mindful Mama podcast and author of the book Raising Good Humans, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness for parents. I love Hunter’s empathetic and research-oriented perspective on the intersection of mindfulness and parenting, and I wanted to share her insight with listeners as I truly believe these practices are equally important, if not more so, for parents raising differently wired kids. In our conversation, we talk about the difference between mindfulness and meditation, using mindfulness practices to re-train our brains to handle difficult emotions, and the importance of not just self-care but self-compassion for parents.  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:Hunter’s story and how she became interested in the intersection of mindfulness and parentingWhat is mindfulness and how it can help parents What is the difference between mindfulness and meditationWhy most of us block our emotions or become flooded by them and what mindfulness teaches us insteadHunter’s best strategies for parents whose kids have big big big feelingsWhy self-compassion is so important and how it helps us to raise good humans 

Today, I’m happy to be sharing a rich conversation with strategic parenting coach Heather Chauvin about the plight many mothers of neurodivergent kids find themselves in — prioritizing everyone else’s needs over their own and why it’s so critical that we get out of this pattern. This is a deeply personal topic for Heather. The way she describes it, by living in survival mode as a parent to her three kids, she was robbing herself of joy, robbing her kids of joy by not being a present parent, and robbing her loved ones of fulfilling relationships. And then in 2013, the universe got her attention when Heather was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Going through that unexpected journey pushed Heather to take a deeper stand for change and explore how cultural expectations sabotage our dreams. I wanted to bring Heather on the show for this conversation because I hear from so many mothers who are in various states of struggle in their parenting lives — pouring everything into their kids, running on fumes, sacrificing so much, putting incredible pressure on ourselves to do it all and do it well. Yet, as much as we love our kids and want to be their safe place, we can’t do that unless we are being that for ourselves first. Through her work, Heather has helped women realize that their needs are just as important and that 10 minutes daily can make a difference if you’re open to change. Lastly, even though this episode is framed for mothers, it’s a good listen for anyone who is a caregiver, especially if you’ve been feeling like your energy is low or frantic and that has become the norm.  Things you’ll learn from this episodeHow motherhood and one’s priorities change as our kids get olderHow trusting in yourself and your intuition can be a powerful ally in motherhoodWhat “dying to be a good mother syndrome” is and why so many mothers are living in that spaceHow Heather helps moms take the first steps toward choosing themselves and what it actually looks likeHow to approach choosing yourself if you don’t think you have the time

In this Parent Lean-In episode, Debbie answers a listener’s question about how she restores, recharges, and makes time for herself while balancing parenting her neurodivergent child and running Tilt Parenting. She shares her best practices and ideas for prioritizing activities and ways of processing emotions that support overall well-being and filling her emotional and energetic reserves.

This episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast features a conversation with Allison Carmen, a life coach and business consultant and the author of The Gift of Maybe: Finding Hope and Possibility in Uncertain Times. I discovered Allison and her work while doing research for my book, and her message of embracing possibility and uncertainty deeply resonated with me. I have a feeling you’ll have the same reaction when you listen to our conversation.During our talk, Allison and I look at the very real toll of being addicted to certainty, especially for parents raising differently-wired kids, which, as we all know, comes with absolutely zero guarantees and certainty when it comes to what the current path or the future might look like. Allison shares her thoughts about how embracing just one simple word—maybe—can completely transform the way we’re experiencing our everyday lives. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:The importance of getting clear on our biggest fearsHow our state of mind helps create our child’s state of mindThe positive side-effect when children can embrace the power of maybe, hope, and possibility rather than perfectionWhy it’s important to have a gratitude practiceHow to stop projecting into the future

This is one of only a few solocast episodes I’ve made over the past several years, but I wanted to talk one-on-one with you about self-care. If you’ve read my book or regularly listen to this show, you know I am a big proponent of self-care—I don’t think it’s even close to optional for parents raising atypical kids. And, I also recognize that it can be a hard thing to make time for and prioritize. I get asked a lot about what my self-care looks like, and so today, I’m sharing with you twelve strategies and ideas for creating a sustainable, doable self-care practice. These are all things I rely on and, I give you my word…they work. I’ve also created a printable PDF cheat sheet of these strategies in case you want to print them out and post them somewhere where you’ll regularly see them and be reminded of the importance of prioritizing YOU. To get the PDF, scroll down! Things You'll Learn from This Episode:How Debbie defines self-care12 ideas for incorporating more self-care into your daily life