PODCAST · comedy
We Are Douchebags
by CJ Squilliam
The show where we are douchebags
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45
SEASON ONE FINALE OF WE ARE DOUCHEBAGS: PREMIERES WHENEVER THE F*CK I WANT TO UPLOAD
It has all lead up to this.We here at We Are Douchebags, LLC. greatly appreciate your listenership; and hope to maintain a beautiful relationship with our fans moving forward.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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44
Superman Is The Greatest Superhero, And Is Much Greater Than The Flash
This week Matthew joins our show in one of our greatest episodes yet so that he can edge having a stroke.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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43
Do Not Use This Episode to Judge the Rest of Our Show
This week Andre made the spreadsheet so in typical fashion for his people, it was not the greatest work.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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42
We Are Douchebags Pride Month Special Part 2
Welcome to part 2 of the pride month special! Unfortunately our stellar cohost from last week suffered a horrific and unpredictable accident; so we are back to suffering through episodes with Pave :/.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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41
Streets Speak 11
Streets Speak Episode 11, Baltimore Bridges falling down and Diddy is fleeing the country. This truly may be the fall of the West. Will the West be able to recover from this? Find out today on Streets Speak.Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWAD
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40
We Are Douchebags Pride Month Special Part 1
This week we are very proud to present our brand new cohost, Pavel! Also, we found Pave's gay journal.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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39
Streets Speak 10
blahhhhhh
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38
Pave Accidentally Admits to his Secret Addiction and CJ is a Horrible Man; Andre is Neutral
I'll let the audio speak for itself...Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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37
We Are Going To Replace Pave
We once again spend a whole episode shit talking Pave because he FAILED TO SHOW UP. AGAINNNNNNNNN. Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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36
STREETS SPEAK 8 OOPS I MEAN 9!!!!
On this episode of streets speak we discuss all types of chicken, ranging from Cane's to Andre's shitty home cooking. Which chicken spot is the best rated? Find out today on Streets Speak.Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWAD**CJ WILL RESPOND QUICKEST ON IG AND THEN MAYBE TWITTER IDK HE MOSTLY REPOSTS WHITE SUPREMACIST STUFF ON THERE.**
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35
The Epic Return Of Mike The Accountant From We Are Assholes
CJ was a pussy and got sick again and uses that as an excuse for having a shitty show lol, but aside from that we have the 2nd biggest guest we've ever had return on the show. The first was sadly fucking Nugget of all people somehow.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWADShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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34
The Legendary Return: Streets Speak 8
streets speak episode 8, the crossover episode. Featuring everybody's favorite furry faggot, Pave as in pavement. Today We discuss very hot topics such as femboys and shootings. Is there a connection between the two? Find out today on Streets Speak.-SosaOur stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowhttps://twitter.com/PavementWAD
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33
We help Pave Find A Job So He Doesn't End Up Like Matthew
This week we have beef with a certain guest. Also we help Pave make his way out of poverty..Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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32
Nugget/ Women's History Month Spectacular (Pave failed us again)
Once again Pave has failed us. This is why Pave will remain an UNPAID editor. He has sent the episode late and CJ has failed us by not uploading it on time either. He has also failed by not punishing Pave cuz he is a little faggot who bullies Pave for his fetishes to compensate for the fact that he also jerks off to depraved things online. Also he trauma dumped but you will have to pay for that in the future so plz share so we can get big enough to have a Patreon <3 thxsiessssstik tok: editsdelanuggetdiscord username: nuggetlovesmilfshttps://www.youtube.com/@nuggetlovesgilliananderson/shortsMatthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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31
Douchebags Discuss The Best Ways to Get Women
This week CJ and Matthew both discuss the problem that has been plaguing their lives the most; a severe lack of hoes. Because of this issue, they recruited two experts to help them reignite the hoe getting spark.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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30
CJ is sicky ;(
CJ was sicky during this recording, but because he is so handsome and brave he was able to pull through.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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29
STREETS SPEAK 7
ahhhhh back at it again. I gave you an extra week to step ya game up playa and u still aint shit. I don't even have words for it anymore. How you can remain such a doofus is beyond human comprehension. At this point i might have to find a new co host because cj squilliam is cj lame-iam. -Sosa I can't take Sosa's bullying anymore, may end it soon- CJ
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28
This show is heading downhill fast.
Yeah so I fucked up. So what I did the same spreadsheet twice huh? My shitty cohosts didn't remember either so what of it. You guys can go fuck yourselves too. No matter however, this week we make sure that it'll never happen again.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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27
You Can Skip This One Honestly The Whole Thing Was A Mess
Pave's bitch ass took a break again and it fucked up our chemistry lol the next one is already recorded and it was a lot better than this except for all my talk about shitting myself.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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26
Streets Speak 6 lmaooooo FUC I'M LOSING IT GUYS HGAHHAHAAH
you already know what the fuckin deal is. That's right, another fuckin episode banged out on time. How does it feel living in my shadow, constantly wondering if you'll ever get your big break? Well you can stop wondering, because you won't. Nothing you do could ever eclipse the amount of swag I have. You will never be as famous, tall, or good looking as I am. Sometimes people just need a reality check, and if you have half a brain this should serve as one. Oh yeah P.S. You're still a fuckin doofus.- SosaIf I kill myself just know it was cuz sosa was fucking cyberbullying me and I couldn't take it anymore :(Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshow
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25
STREETS SPEAK 5? MORE LIKE STREETS PEAK 5 CUZ WE EATING EVERY WEEK LET'S FUCKING GO RAHHHHHHH
Here's another fuckin episode dweeb. I know i'm a fuckin rockstar pumpin these episodes out on time, something you could never even dream of doing. Oh yeah, did i forget to mention that you're still a fuckin doofus. I'm tired of carrying this show on my back. Everybody knows the white sosa, who tf knows cj squilliam or andre. Two no name fuckin doofuses leeching off my success. If you ever get tired of being number 2 and want to know what it's like to be THE MAN then hit my line and maybe i can teach you a thing or two. Until then enjoy ridin my wave and lookin up at me from my shadow.- The White SosaHonestly I'm thankful he does this shit every week cuz that means I don't have to do anything for show notes.Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshow
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24
STREETS SPEAK EPISODE 4
Finally an on time episode. Too bad at the end of the day ur still a fuckin doofus. Fr I ain't neva heard not one nigga say "yo put on that new cj squilliam" you goofy faggot. Why do you even try any more. You might as well go on ahead and KILL YOURSELF. Fuckin lame ass nigga. -The White SosaOur stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshow
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23
Doug From Who's Right Podcast Ghosted Me Like A Woman
As the title somewhat explains, I've been trying to get Doug from Who's Right on our show but he is being a little gay boy. That's okay though because Anthony is the better half of that show anyways.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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22
STREETS SPEAK EPISODE 3 LET'S GOOOOO
streets speak episode 3 lol sorry for the delay i been fuckin bitches and gettin money you doofus. Maybe if u got rid of that ol yee yee ass haircut you would get some bitches on ur dick. Matter fact tanisha would call yo dog ass if she ever stop fuckin wit that brain surgeon or who ever she fuckin wit. NYYYYIIIIIGGGGAAAOur stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshow
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21
We Tell Lies for an Hour Straight (Or Gay)
Didn't listen back to it yet so this is the best description I got for now. :3Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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20
Streets Speak #2
Episode 2 of Streets Speak that I didn't upload on time out of pure laziness :)Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshow
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19
The Best Episode of We Are Douchebags (So Far): Into the Epstein files, Names and Lists
I think we may have crossed the line in a few different spots this time. (It was worth it.)To any future employers I would like to clarify that any and all content heard on this show is satire and is not meant to be taken seriously. (Except for the stuff we meant 100% like Andre being a p*doph*le)“It’s hard to watch, and you’re gonna be hard while watching.” -Direct quote from Pave.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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18
We Are Douchebags Presents: The New Year Special
This time we talked about the highlights from 2023. I don't remember much about the episode because I stopped listening back to them and you probably should too lol.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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17
We Are Douchebags Presents: Streets Speak World Premiere
Join CJ, Andre, and The White Sosa as we venture into topics we have no authority to speak on whatsoever in the new spin-off show: Streets Speak.Make sure to follow our shit same as the other show.Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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16
We Are Douchebags First Annual Christmas Special
This year gather around the fireplace to celebrate our late Christmas Special that I was too fucking lazy to upload. Currently going through it but that's okay cuz it's Christmas and I have new Lego.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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15
Douchebags Speak to their Hero and Idol: Mike the Accountant
This week, Mike from the Nitwits Podcast, Insanime Podcast, and guest of Who's Right Podcast joins us to argue about something called We are Assholes.Mike: https://x.com/NotWaaMike?s=20Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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14
Douchebags Help A Friend Recover from a Traumatic Event: How to Help Someone Cope with Extreme Trauma
CJ just recently went through a life changing traumatic event. His two friends Andre and Pave help him to find the best way to cope given proven research and facts.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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13
We Are Douchebags Thanksgiving Special: What We're Oh So Thankful For
This week, we talked about what we're thankful for in our lives. We have much to be thankful for.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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12
We Are Douchebags: Pave Returns; We're so Fucking Back
Pave has returned from his EXTENDED VACATION. This means we are back to normal, and that includes the normalcy of his severe mental retardation. The intro is fucked up because he accidentally used the same audio clip I used in my Scarface review. Because of this I used an intro clip that more suited him. Please enjoy.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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11
CJ Reviews: Scarface
This week CJ is by himself again and has to review Scarface by no choice of his own. If you think CJ should start recording on his own, let him know by messaging him on Instagram.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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10
CJ Reviews Barbie and Bradley
This week Pave is at Disney or some shit. So I am once again forced to continue with the show on my own. I decided to review Barbie and leak fan dm's,Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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9
Douchebag Reviews Five Nights At Freddy's and Pave Couldn't Edit
I didn't want to go a week without uploading so here is my review of Five Nights at Freddy's. Movie was shit. Not good. I am taking my anger out in the description because now I feel bad about all the shit Pave has to edit. Fuck you Pave but you truly are an American hero. God damn I'm frustrated. I am a boomer who doesn't know how to use computers so this was a lot for me.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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8
We Are Douchebags Halloween Special: Costumes and CJ is rarted
This week we attempt to do our Halloween Special. This is ruined however, by the fact that CJ is retarded and fucked up his audio. What a guy.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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7
Taylor Swift, Spooky Things, And Buzzfeed Quizzes Raise Your IQ
This week we rank Buzzfeed Quizzes and then take some of them at the end of the show.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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6
Douchebags Speak on Racial Inequality in the Modern Justice System: Crime and Punishment
This week we talk about crimes and how the justice system deliberately provides harsh punishments for menial crimes in order to profit from low income neighborhoods as well as our favorite people of diversity.Check out these links and share our shit!Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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5
Andre's Punishment
On this daring episode of We Are Douchebags, we punish Andre for his heinous crime of skipping last week's episode. He shall surely regret his horrific mistake.Matthew aka Intro Guy:https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuff:https://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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4
We Discuss Racial Inequities with Matthew and The White Sosa
This week Andre decided not to show up again so we had on TWO black guys to make up for it.Matthew's SoundCloud (Intro guy)https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuffhttps://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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3
Douchebags Speak on Disabilities and Ableism with a Real Life Autistic Person
This week we talk about several disabilities and those who struggle with them in society with our dear friend Matthew.Matthew's soundcloud (Intro guy)https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuffhttps://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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2
The Douchebags Rank The Douchebags
Fuck Pave AND Andre. They're actually retarded. This episode we describe why they are retarded. Matthew's soundcloud (Intro guy)https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuffhttps://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowShow heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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1
Douchebags try to make sense of Religion
Welcome to We Are Douchebags, the show where we are douchebags. This episode we make fun of and rank religion so CJ can convert.Matthew's soundcloud (Intro guy)https://on.soundcloud.com/D6iEhPtzqu4CybVY9Our stuffhttps://instagram.com/wearedouchebagsshow?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==https://twitter.com/WeareDbagsshowPodcast heavily inspired by We Are Assholes*
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
The show where we are douchebags
HOSTED BY
CJ Squilliam
CATEGORIES
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