WFYM Talk Radio

My aunt is thicker than the wicked bible and a brick put together and her monstrous caboose is slowly colonizing Mohegan Sun from the inside and all they can do is sell her fake Swisher Sweets that are just fly paper filled with flies and honey. David Blaine did a fake trick to a dog with balloons but he was behind the door lifting him up and everyone thought it was Criss Angel and David Copafeel. Donkeys deserve respect   https://www.patreon.com/posts/157998302

Once more we return to the topic of geese. The beast not the band but they will be at Bonnaroo this year and apparently you can sneak in boxed wine in a baby stroller and fireworks in a guitar case and say you might be asked to fill in for someone onstage because that happened when Keith Moon passed out at a Who concert after drinking too much boxed wine out of a baby stroller. But, as Maury Povich knows, it's not your father's concert.

Do you spin or does the duck spin? How much torque do you need? Duck Dynasty refused to tell us because it was a trade secret and they actually preferred Medium Fish with No Teeth. Definitely not a sturgeon. The Dexter of Molesters is a HERO and Sonic is the Burlington Coat Factory of former roller skate restaurants   https://www.patreon.com/posts/156696327

Work boots are a great place to hide just about anything and it works even better if the person is deaf, dumb and blind but most people they teach you were deaf dumb and blind were actually faking. We need Carlos Mencia to come back as the ChudPunisher but he better not get nervous like Ron White. Brought to you by The Dirtbag Network

We used to have Elvis Presley and now we have no pressies but we do have Mr Beast making a human centipede so big that he can beat Wilt Chamberlain's body count in under 40 minutes. No one knows what they meant by 3 6 9 but it was probably two parking meters halfway through being cut off and then Cloaca Luke is beside them bent over getting a cloacoscopy   https://www.patreon.com/posts/155647827

Nancy was poppin bloops listening to Peep in her Unalive Boys hoodie and every time you overhear two uncs they only ever talk about that but lesbians have no test for it. If you go to the dog park and have to step over something so big you have to use a shop vac and never clean it out you know it was left by someone with mental health 🎼Unalive - Dream Baby Dream

Sorry the next one will be a day or two late because we are partying in HOLLYWOOD with A-listers   Keep an eye out for the 350 bit and the Drippy Louis Bluey Back Bling season of Fortnite. 7/7/7 was the luckiest day ever but no one invented scratch tickets or getting a UTI from the Reverse Shocker yet so it was basically useless for all intents and purposes. Then 7/7/77 happened and we were all too young for that one so what gives

This one is brought to you by acetominophen and hydrocodone. Do NOT take too many because the Tylenol is bad for your liver and really the whole thing is bad. Get addicted to something positive like camping out in front of the Pokemon vending machine at the store. Just slide my plate under the door because yes it is Thanksgiving but I am very busy reading the audiobook for I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and was Shot by the Taliban. Mott the Hoople and Nazareth vinyls are in the house of everyone who dies   Full episode at https://www.patreon.com/posts/154455167

Original Four Loko is back but without the caffeine or the alcohol. Eminem is going to jump Machine Gun Kelly after a show and put him in a medical bed with LED lights that help your nose and butt. Life is like High Point University because getting high is the point and they have a steakhouse. If you went to Planters Academy you get in by default

Sorry we got Nightlagged and thought Daylight Savings Time was today and it went back 12 hours. It gets confusing because several of us work for three letter agencies and have to commute from Arizona to the Navajo Nation to make sure no one is planning to occupy Alcatraz again. Have you ever noticed that the first thing that gets worn out in a new car is the clock   https://www.patreon.com/posts/153400421

Lawrence Welk is only good if your mouth is stuck open permanently for birds to make a nest in. Buying JAV magazines owned by Richard Ramirez is cost prohibitive unlike suggestively-shaped waffles at the Icelandic prick museum. If you eat there and learn at the same time they would call that hitting two flies with one slap. In Poland they would call it roasting two pieces of meat on one fire which is considered a daunting task

Lunch lady ghost kitchen would go crazy if you kept running into dead ends where there were synapses missing. Proximity to lesbians means Alison Bechdel is learning how to play Fast Car outside your dorm room. Ask your parents before using cooking wine or smoking the wine flavored blunt wraps. Silly sexual comments are once again allowed but only about ProJared   Full episode at https://www.patreon.com/posts/152492908

Rodman Philbrick is a demon or a dementor and we hate how he made his little liar character use big dum dums as homemade wheelchairs. A whetstone can be a wet stone if you get Paleolithic enough at summer camp. Milk is a shield and believe it or not the actor who played Ziggy was 47

We figured out what happened to Nancy Guthrie and it was either a botched wellness check, going through an MRI after swallowing 5 pounds of ball bearings, drowning in the lake after drinking flat soda, or someone kidnapped her to spend Thanksgiving with so they could go viral.   https://www.patreon.com/posts/151358764

You might turn 360 degrees and walk away from this one but unless you take your earbuds out it would still be playing. Saying the heartagram looks like a ass or that the real song is called Wings of a Butterfly is a grave insult to the seriousness of Love Metal. Good Time had a Young Don Vito situation but the bad kind not when the right side of the car hydroplanes. Painting a bowling ball like a soccer ball and throwing it onto the field is a harmless prank that can be deadly 🎼Minutemen - Corona https://www.instagram.com/wfymradio/

The bellybutton holds a dark secret. In the Commonwealth giving a moonie to a speedie can get you thrown in gaol like a common bogan. You never see male mosquitoes because we are the male mosquitoes once fully exposed on Zionist Pervert Beach. The phones they sell at the bodega come with a stock keyboard that has a picture of your coworker as the background and a set of emotes of his face and a lock screen of you standing behind him holding your cock   https://www.patreon.com/posts/150293324/

If you accidentally get the Paris Hilton cologne all over down there do NOT try to clean it off with Old Spice and then try to wash it all off in the shower at a house party. Just go down to where the Golden Retrievers are sleeping and get your coat and your shoes off the porch and go home   https://www.patreon.com/posts/149947440

The only thing worse than getting to a proto-Vrbo and realizing you have no way to Netflix and chill is getting stuck in the yellow jacket tunnel at Payless Shoe Source with a bag full of rotting apples and the extra large condom you brought isn't big enough to catch them all #BarLife #AnkleMonitorLife   https://www.patreon.com/posts/149615999/

Never snipe or use the Italian wizard spells like Boom Boom Pow or Bang Ding Ow. Katt Williams fought a 17 year old pool supply store owner because they designed him a 3 ft deep pool shaped like a vibrator with balls on it

We finally got around to covering the untimely death of Adam the Woo who has left a hole in all our hearts and his wife Brianna a widow. The waves at the Outer Banks are insufficient for surfing. If you take your parents' sibling stoppers and turn them in at a Catholic condom buyback you can make enough to buy an airsoft gun with the orange tip colored over and go out like Adam the Woo   https://www.patreon.com/posts/148637882/

Babe come over BurntPeanut and Steve Lookner both went live at the same time and we can watch them on my two TVs and you better not break up with me or AI Kratos and AI Yoda and AI Batman are going to give me motivational speeches about it

Teaching children to talk and read is basically like podcasting and it also involves a lot of AI and YouTube and Roblox. In the 1990s two out of your five friends were named Lingo and Wheels and you were probably Kid Vid. Batman canonically has really sore elbows from smacking them together for exercise. Guard dogs suck because they give you away   🎼Kraftwerk - Computer Love https://www.patreon.com/posts/147598050

The VeggieTales lore contains just enough information about the in-universe sexual and racial politics to leave you wanting more like a tomato in heat with a big blossom end rot waiting for Sully to give you a mouthful like Mike Wazowski. Being the Andy Dick Show Boy ruined my life. "Bonnie" "Prince" "Billy" is pretty good for a guy with a girl's first name.

The Format went on Big Desk and the results were unbelievable and people are even calling the new singer the White Black Eminem. Getting the unalive at KFC is both easier and harder than ever but the mix always ends up brown. And yes, we have bologna sandwiches for Sunday dinner   https://www.patreon.com/posts/146319048

Leather hackysacks are for Republicans and all GameStop managers poop their pants at the counter because using toilet paper at work is technically theft. Sum Ting Wong is one of the worst pilots to ever work for Ticketmaster. The whole class took some bad molly and the classroom smells like the third pig

Keep an eye out for the 350 bit and the Drippy Louis Bluey Back Bling season of Fortnite. 7/7/7 was the luckiest day ever but no one invented scratch tickets or getting a UTI from the Reverse Shocker yet so it was basically useless for all intents and purposes. Then 7/7/77 happened and we were all too young for that one so what gives   https://www.patreon.com/posts/145477935

We are working on a Dave Matthews biopic called Crash about the time they crashed their tour bus and the spaghetti they were eating hit the ceiling and ruined the upholstery and also it knocked the cap off the sewage tank and it spilled on a boat and when they tried to have it fixed the mechanic just used it to do Uber and then unalived in the driver's seat. The sequel will be called Crash 2: Electric Boogaloo once Grantland can actually figure out who was the first to make that reference and if it was Dave Barry or not   🎼Jesus and Mary Chain - Darklands

Sorry for the thin gruel this month   Season 4 of Doug was weird because they did the Martin Lawrence arc and half of it was about Didi getting bred and his name was Caillou but they made him look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. Jay-Z clearly never saw Squid Game or Get Out in 2010 or he would have mentioned Young Hee

Make sure your hollowed out turkeys are hung by the fireplace so you can get presents from William Bradford or Massasoit or whoever does that holiday. Planters Academy will be opening soon for those of us who want to continue the tradition of our beautiful offspring being able to enjoy Nutter Butters and Reese's Pieces at school and yes we know how it sounds and yes not everyone will be let in but technically anyone can go and our rival school is run by the Pringles logo   https://www.patreon.com/posts/144493861

Basically it would be a found footage gonzo horror movie where a guy overdoses in an abandoned Burger King for a YouTube video and then Solsbury Hill starts playing and he comes back to life and nuts hands free. Jack Black would do a great job in the Chris Benoit biopic and the doctor said I can make dirty rice clean. "A clean behind is a terrible thing to waste."

What comes after 345? China loans us pandas and we give them celebrities as collateral. They found Amara and it was the friends we made along the way. The ants had a crumb crush on the way to Matthew Perry in the hot tub and then the crumbs attracted moon bears which are level 2 or 3 bears and then He Touched Me and it felt incredible.   https://www.patreon.com/posts/143379708

Everything will be back once and for all once Stephen Miller is seen driving a low rider and next Halloween will be incredible. The electric shock game they make for kids becomes a completely anhedonic experience once you have tasted the unbeatable thrill of motocross. Rule34dle is too hard if you are not one of the people who dates cartoons   🎼Live - I Alone https://www.instagram.com/wfymradio/ https://www.patreon.com/c/ChapoFYM  

Our sons Shootar and Stabbar that we got from the sperm bank tricked us into eating a candy called Wiener Zucker and saying it was good so we brought them back. Barstool Milking Factory on a Kindle Fire is the new Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Dr Witnesser is right about Christmas but wrong about Saturday. We need to find Amara and find out what it is as well 🎼Big Sean - A$$ ft Nicki Minaj   https://www.patreon.com/posts/142523645

Everyone from a GIF will be live in person at a convention center once we figure out how to rent it. Gore-themed birthday parties go crazy but the ARG is too hard. Dark triad style individuals such as Andrew Milonakis are leaving out poisoned cat poop for the neighborhood dogs to ensure that they never become the Jodie Foster in someone's Taxi Driver fantasy. Arby's meat nuggets are pretty good but later in the bathroom it might be a four-tiki-torcher plus a fire pit and a Febreze cloud that gets ignited. The guy in The Terminal was so lucky until he got turned into CGI and had to drive a Christmas train. China has a skeleton law and Perm is by the Urals.

On this one we teach you about ambassadors and how to gaslight a cop and convince him he has BPD so you can evade a ticket for selling loose handfuls of Reese's Pieces in an alleyway. My aunt is Egyptian and she has a cat for a head and she makes me chop cheese the aunkhy way. At the McDonald's in Times Square they have passenger pigeon nuggets to save money because you can buy passenger pigeons on Klarna. McDonald's is spiritually Israeli.   https://www.patreon.com/posts/141531385

Where did you go Joe DiMaio? And Katt Stevens, whatever happened to him after he gave up secular music and started performing on BET ComicView? Peanut oil vapes come in handy when you need to ensure your child never develops a peanut allergy that excludes them from dinner at a Norwegian style household. Dog oil works on the same principle. Travis Kelce is going to be in the new Hennessy ad campaign dressed like Cole Campbell

Everywhere you look all you see is Labubus and Dubai chocolate and when you try to get an education at a reputable Boston school the janitor just writes some nonsense about how you dubaidubai the legs and multiply the fun on the board. Go to Mar-a-Lago and tell them you want the whackmodololo longdubaidubai magicjohnson minthoneyhoney badbunny labubu or the Big Game Halftime Show is cancelled   https://www.patreon.com/posts/140628026

Baseball stadiums frown upon using the nicest pumpkin you ever felt to catch a baseball even if you have a Trump Card and Pete Hegseth is busy doing Edward Fortyhands on his lunch break. There is a restaurant where they serve poop but the guy never lets you have it. Chihuahuas are small but Great Danes are big. Durango is Spanish for The Range

Season 4 of Doug was weird because they did the Martin Lawrence arc and half of it was about Didi getting bred and his name was Caillou but they made him look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. Jay-Z clearly never saw Squid Game or Get Out in 2010 or he would have mentioned Young Hee   https://www.patreon.com/posts/139589436

Sir you cannot pass the HOA vibe check until you find the Ziggy Marley station on SiriusXM and to be perfectly honest you should have it in your first bank of presets. Check out ThinkGeek for geeky gifts for the geek in your life like an air freshener shaped like a foot that smells like feet or an air freshener shaped like a poop that smells like poop. Next year 9/11 is going to fall on the 13th

The sauce is robust and Celebrity Rehab is a bust. Howard Stern tried to fake us out with Andy Cohen but no one fell for it. The man with a calcified onion penis is in a White Zoo being used as a garden implement. Diddy had unforgivable hustle but he unforgivably misused his powerly and check out Fat March on TV   https://www.patreon.com/posts/138831526

Boll weevils are bigger than ever and they have new skins. Ethel Cain and Lana Del Rey are having fewd together in a car to squash the beef. All edibles are laced with weed and uncontacted tribes use feet to fish because fish don't have any feelings and there are no bugs yet and no Mary who smells like powerbait because ya gotta wash up down there bud. Guinness is handing out records for people who sail down the Mississippi with a scoby up their butt or holding a tiny pumpkin. Reverse Tintin was incredible 🎼Weird Al - Le Funk Dos Memes

Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could eat it because he was as fat as Rizzler Sr. who would never Benoit anybody unlike AJ Befumo or Jerry Sandiddy but it made him sick since it was refurbished. If you crashed your car driving to work listening to the Theo Von Rizzler interview because it lowered your IQ to the point that street signs became illegible you may be able to join a class action lawsuit if we can figure out how you do one   https://www.patreon.com/posts/137833489

God is gay because his wife left to join a sorority in 1200BC which is why he had to make Steve who has a leaf over his gape. Woke took cigarette lighters out of cars and we have to buy new ones to put in there. Theo Von is gayer than God because he drinks Celsius and sucks on Zyn but Zyn sucks because the points will never get you a waterbed to chew cigars on. Make sure to eat all your corn because your mom will find out later in the toilet   🎼Asher Roth - I Love College

A new God of War has been born but no one cool is from Naperville. When you ride past Telluride To Hell You Ride because out there they let their kids have gas powered RC cars and pee in the sump pump whenever they want and if they forget to go trick or treating they go around asking their neighbors for makeup candy and offering to shovel their driveway before the first snow   https://www.patreon.com/posts/136812090

There are facts about matadors and bulls to learn everywhere for those with the willingness to think of them. Tom runs Akron and Youngstown because Dave Grohl is busy. Wendy's is dishonoring Dave Thomas by renaming their burgers in Vegas. Old chairs have either a fart grater or a spaghetti strainer or a hole for a wormy tendril

Once they add an option on the soda fountain for a suicide you guys better not cause infinite recursion by making a suicide that includes the suicide syrup or this could get out of hand very quickly. Pickup trucks and garbage men should switch names. Never mix Ripits with whippits or you could end up MIA   https://www.patreon.com/posts/135832344

If you walk up there with gum or a Zyn you can add a minty spin to a Catholic classic and if you suck you can pop in a Bit O' Honey from the liquor store to ruin it. Actors have to retire next to an alligator and a lion so they never want to stop working. Kittie is the Pussycat Dolls of Canada and metal but if you remember them you weren't a real fan. Howie Day is not gay and even if he was it would be fine. Dean Dreayton would be fine to do Netflix and chill with but you have to buy your own return ticket. Landis 4 Time 6 is the only good Landis 4 Time movie.

Wrong – it's not Tallahassee, Florida. It's the home of Dealer's Choice frontman Roger Clinton. Trump is jealous of Bill Clinton's annoying brother which is why he hired Jeffrey Epstein to be his annoying brother. Grok wants people to hit on women with a Jar Jar Binks impression and Mike TTV is angry with us. I think there might have been hydrogen peroxide on the back of this picture frame and it bleached the wall.   🎼Bob Marley - Hotel California (MIDI Version)

I shatto my dick and my dick trickle. Jack-o-Lanterns are so scary that even baked into a pie you can taste their devilish smile. WasabiCon is dead but Bigo lives. God is a man with a flared base not unlike Richard Head the Shakespeare of innuendo who used to hang out with L Kent the Romano-British rapper who sells AQVAMINERALIS. Use promo code HONEY to sign up for Acorns