PODCAST · tv
Wheels Up
by Wheels Up
A Criminal Minds Podcast. Two best friends watch all 300+ episodes of Criminal Minds (and Evolution and the spinoffs) to bring you a deep dive into the BAU. We Love It. We Hate It. We're Doing it. Join Us.Contact us: wheelsup[at]brightcrownmedia[dot]comSocial: WheelsUpPod on twitter, insta & tumblr
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122
18x01 - Swimmers and Chainsmokers
There's a new season of Evolution in town, and Sheriffs James and Bee are on the case! This week, they're talking about open water, teeth anxiety, scattershot pop culture, and reusing plot points! It's Criminal Minds Evolution Season 18 Episode 1 - Swimmer's Calculus!
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121
05x08 - An Intricate Balkan Backstory
James may not be a Balkan Scholar or a Neurologist, but they know something about doing research. Criminal Minds, however, does not. Join James and Bee as they unpack some revisionist history, cultural insensitivity, and general behavioral foolishness. It's Criminal Minds Season 5 Episode 8 - Out Foxed!
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120
Interview with Joe Mantegna
Today, we're joined by none other than Papa Pasta,,, JOE MANTEGNA! We chat with Joe about the origins of David Rossi, why Rossi ended up thrice divorced, and if he actually knows how to cook like Rossi does.You can watch Season 18 of Criminal Minds starting on May 8 on Paramount+!
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05x07 - Just Google It!
This week, James and Bee talk about Vampires, Freak Flags, and Bush. Sorry it's late! Hopefully, our in-depth analysis of Vampire lore and freaks makes up for it!Join them as they talk about Season 5 Episode 7 - The Performer!
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05x06 - Representation Win: This Killer is Autistic!
Gotta take the unfortunate wins where you can get 'em, I guess. Join James and Bee as they talk incredibly specific fetishes, a Saturday morning cartoon of a man, and eyes. Just genuinely so many eyes.
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05x05 - The Return of Doubting Derek
This week, James and Bee discuss Fetal Microchimerism and other horrors of pregnancy. Join them as they navigate the dark dungeon of Doubting Derek and childbirth. It's Season 5 Episode 5 - Cradle to Grave!
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116
05x04 - [Suspension Sound]
Join James and Bee as they talk about Structural Walls, Real Life Contract Work, and Gentrification(?). This Criminal Minds episode was bad! That's why the Wheels Up episode is nearly three hours long!Join us for Criminal Minds Season 5 Episode 4 - Hopeless
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115
05x03 - Like a Sad Clown at a Child's Birthday Party
We're not watching the good therapist solve problems show. Join James and Bee as they discuss Jacobean tragedies, Oscar Wilde, and sad, sad clowns.
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114
05x02 - Take Your Meds!
This week, Bee and James discuss the importance of taking your brain meds and the lingering legacy of the KKK. They also talk a bunch of shit about Hotch's Male Pain. Join them for Criminal Minds Season 5 Episode 2 - Haunted.
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113
05x01 - It Would Have Been Less Gay To Just Have Sex
This week, James and Bee talk about Emily's slutty little boob buckle, Foyet's intricate rituals, and Criminal Minds maybe being good? Is Criminal Minds a good show now??Join them as they talk about Season 5 Episode 1 - Nameless, Faceless
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04 x BONUS - Backstreet's Back!
It's a bonus episode and you know the drill by now. We rank our favorite episodes! We rank our favorite BAU agents! We rank our favorite seasons! Hell, we'll even rank your dog if you send it to us! Join us for a very special (and very late) season 4 bonus episode.Season 5 starts next week.
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111
04x25/26 - [Underlying Tenseness]
It's the end of the season! Can you believe it? James and Bee suffer through the Pig Farm episode, crack as many jokes as they can, and stan Kelly forever. Join them as they wrap up the season with Season 4 Episodes 25 and 26 - To Hell... And Back
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4x24 - The Anthrax Trolley Problem
This week, James and Bee discuss Hotch being a bad father, Emily being a tragic heroine, and JJ being haunted by her (maybe) dead boyfriend and child. There's a lot of American history in this one, so buckle up!! We're talking Criminal Minds Season 4 Episode 24. If you want to send in questions for our bonus Q&A, message us on tumblr, twitter, or instagram!
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04x23 - It's Just Chainsaw Trucks
Listen there's not much we can say about this one that you can't gleam from the title. The jemily implications here go CRAZY.
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04x22- Perfect Estimation of a Bread Plug
Finally, a case that makes Aaron Hotchner go "this could've been an email." We're introduced to a weird little guy who is a freak at the beginning, and a freak at the end and frankly? I do not care for the damage he is doing to the reputation of little freaks everywhere.
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04x21 - Evil Declan
This week on Wheels Up! James and Bee find it difficult to goof, but they still manage to find some giggles. Bee barely knows about Jon Benet Ramsey, James explains French Society, and they both rag on bad parenting! Join them for Season 4 Episode 21 - Shades of Gray
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106
04x20 - Unsettling Rizz
Trans rights or trans wrongs? Neither! She's just some woman! Join James and Bee as they discuss Season 4 Episode 20 - Conflicted! (Blaze It)
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105
04x19 - Sorry, Tommy. Incest is Bad.
James is having a crisis, Bee took the notes, and Garcia is forced to profile! This week has some sort of energy (but we won't tell you what kind!) Join us as we talk about Season 4 Episode 19 - House on Fire.
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04x18 - KNIFE = DICK
It's honestly a miracle Aaron Hotchner turned out as normal as he did, being that he's the ultimate child of divorce. Rossi doesn't respect bus drivers, Derek does a good toxic masculinity, and James has a wild hatred of blueberries. All this and more on this week's episode of Wheels Up!
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17 x BONUS - JJ's Divorce Arc
Surprise! We have a bonus episode full of predictions for you about season 18. Join us as we talk JJ's impending divorce arc, Luke's impending bisexuality, Emily's adopted 22 year old psychopathic daughter, and Penelope's nonbinary partner.
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102
17x10 - We Were Right About Everything!
It's the season finale! This week, James and Bee talk about how they were absolutely correct with all of their theories. It helps that Criminal Minds Evolution is really good! Join them as they discuss, terrible fandom takes, amazing writing choices, and Criminal Minds Season 17 Episode 10 - Save The Children!
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17x09 - Jade's Dead Wife Montage
CONTENT WARNING: this episode of criminal minds included a fairly graphic sexual assault scene. We don't talk about the scene in a ton of detail but we do discuss what it means for characters. This week on wheels up: EQUALITY! Jade gets a dead wife montage, James says "it's interesting" approximately 42 times, and Emily is just the gandalf big naturals meme.
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100
17x07 & 08 - Fuckass Saw Trap
James and Bee are catching up in this combined episode! They talk about Aisha's directing brilliance, PeePaw's romantic side, and JUSTICE FOR JADE! Join them as they discuss Season 17 Episode 7 - Piranha and Season 17 Episode 8 - North Star.
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17x06 - AWOOO!
This episode? this one's For The Girls* (*you don't have to be a girl to be one of The Girls, y'know? do what you want.) Join James and Bee as they cash in on their correct guesses, make some new theories, and ask: what does that MEAN??
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17x05 - MKULTRA is The Water Boy
This week, James and Bee discuss how right they are about almost everything ever and how much Tebecca is growing on them. Tynelope? Trash! Tebecca? Everything! Join them for Criminal Minds: Evolution Season 17 Episode 5 - Conspiracy vs. Theory
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17x04 - Gaslight. Gatekeep. (G)enucleate.
This week on Wheels Up, we meet the most normal woman in Nevada! Emily Prentiss gets outta the FBI and into the WNBA! And Holly does a little bit of a patricide!
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17x03 - Knock Luke Alvez Up 2024
This week, James and Bee talk about MPreg, being a woman, and boomer conspiracies. Join them as they talk about Criminal Minds Evolution Season 17 Episode 3 - Homesick.
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95
17x01 & 02 - Saw Trap of the Mind
Rebecca's in a saw trap, Rossi's in margaritaville, JJ is in... jail? What a wild premiere for season 17! Join James and Bee as they talk "Gold Star" and "Contagion" Follow us on socials: WheelsUpPod
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94
Interview with Breen Frazier
We shot our shot and it... worked? Join us for a very special interview with BREEN FRAZIER, writer and executive producer of Criminal Minds: Evolution. We chat our hopes and dreams for season 17, queer representation, and how dang hot Paget Brewster is! Just what is the mysterious Gold Star and is James' out of this world guess ACTUALLY RIGHT? You can watch Season 17 of Criminal Minds right now, on Paramount+!
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04x17 - God's Favorite Princess
Emily Princess is a tragic, Byronic heroine in this one and also SO Pretty! Join James and Bee as they talk about Emily's wet dog energy and her need for hot soup. This one is 3 hours long, so strap in! We're talking Season 4 Episode 17 - DEMONOLOGY
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04x16 - Pro Divorce
Can you believe we did an entire episode bout how the criminal minds writers were just out here using quotes dot com completely irresponsibly? wild. Join Bee and James as they talk daddy issues, hedge funds, and weirdly anti-feminist feminists. It's season 4 episode 16: Pleasure Is My Business!
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04x15 - David Rossi's Goodreads
We're on the case to find the world's most normal looking 7/11 customer and we think we've got it! Join us in Cleveland as Bee and James talk serial killer branding, Rossi's ever-changing number of books, and Shannon Woodward.
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04x14 - The Return of Jennifer Jareau
Come crack open a cold one with Bee and James as they discuss Season 4 Episode 14 - Cold Comfort. This week, they talk about gothic horror, Rossi's bad attitude, and JJ's bad haircut.
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04x13 - Grandpa's Rave
Jordan Todd isn't having a good time this episode and neither are we! Bee and James talk Romani stereotypes in media, the impending doom of Criminal Minds: Evolution, and Emily finally getting to play good cop!
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04x12 - Rent Lowering Gunshots
This week, James and Bee say a fun little gay word about 75 times. Listen, if we didn't say it, CM would! Join the gang as they talk about omegaverse, gay discourse, and CM's lack of nuance. In other words, it's a normal episode!
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04x11 - You're Stupid and Bald, Norman
This week James and Bee discuss early 2000s patriarchy! Join them as they talk about season 4 episode 11 - Normal
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86
04x10 - Stolen Twink Valor
James made up an entire story arc (that honestly makes the whole episode better) and Bee has a vendetta against Ayn Rand! Join them as they talk about Season 4 Episode 10 - Brothers in Arms
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85
04x09 - Another Media Liaison Murders A Man In Cold Blood
Like JJ, Jordan is very good at murdering men in front of Emily Prentiss! As is her right! James and Bee discuss Jordan's mean girl (affectionate) vibes, Emily's Big Dyke Energy, and the creep factor of wearing sunglasses in a club. Join the gang as they talk about Season 4 Episode 9 - 52 Pick Up!
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04x08 - Rat Bitch Baby Boy Loser Ass Bitch
A white man in a white suit talking about Eugenics? What could go wrong? Join James and Bee as they talk about math, bitch boys, and the way Jordan makes Emily blush! It's season 4 episode 8 - Masterpiece!
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04x07 - The Spencer Reid Event Horizon
Reid's facing his daddy issues head-on and the fallout is, quite frankly, devastating. The boys experience The Horrors, the girls experience The Horrors, and they are, somehow, different horrors.
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04x06 - Return of the Daddy Issues
This episode is a long one, but it's worth it! James and Bee discuss Criminal Minds' take on motherhood and mental health as they explore Reid's past and JJ's future. There's some silly James lore and Bee is actually really funny this episode!
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04x05 - Derek Morgan's Self Inflicted "Kick Me" Sign
This episode could be so good if it was actually good. Meta Golding come back home please the kids miss you. Derek puts a "Kick Me" sign on his own back. The BAU is doing cute bestie things! Bee and James talk a lot about society's big issues and in the end they don't solve anything but they do have a good time talking about season 4 episode 5 "Catching Out"!
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04x04 - Secret Bathhouse Orgy Time
Local Wheels Up cohosts are outside your window on a cold winter's day holding up a sign that says "that's wil wheaton to me" and I will not be explaining further. Join James and Bee as they talk season 4 episode 4 Paradise!
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79
04x03 - The Orphan They Made
In this cult installment of Wheels Up, James and Bee pick out metal lines and hidden references! Reid's bearable, Rossi's likeable, and Emily is punchable. Join the gang as they talk about Season 4 Episode 3 - Minimal Loss.
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04x02 - LA-itis
Bee's got it on lock with a surprising amount of statistics off the cuff, James's door kept yelling at us so if you hear beeps that's why, and this episode of criminal minds is good, technically, but kinda boring.
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77
04x01 - There's A Catheter In My Skiddileepop
We're back!!! We said we'd be back in January, and it's still technically January! Unlike Criminal Minds' season premieres, we keep our promises. Join James and Bee as they talk about Season 4 Episode 1 - Mayhem!
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76
Season 3 Bonus Episode
You thought we were done just because Season 3 was? Never! In this bonus episode, James and Bee rank the episodes, rank the characters, and just go crazy!
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03x20 - How Many Behaviors Until It's A Pattern?
This week on Wheels Up, James and Bee discuss the season finale! They talk about Will's psychic ability to understand Jennifer Jareau, Emily's gay ability to profile, and Derek's inability to let a woman lead. Join them as they talk about Season 3 Episode 20, Lo-Fi!
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03x19 - Profiling is Just Astrology for Cops
On this episode of Wheels Up, Bee and James get real philosophical. Are we real? Do we exist? What's up with Derek's hair in the flashback? Join us for our penultimate episode of Season 3, Tabula Rasa!
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03x18 - can serial killers be girlbosses? discuss
Bee and James discuss the hard hitting issues like third wave feminism, who is technically the mother of the BAU team, and how many people we know on this week's episode of Wheels Up!
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
A Criminal Minds Podcast. Two best friends watch all 300+ episodes of Criminal Minds (and Evolution and the spinoffs) to bring you a deep dive into the BAU. We Love It. We Hate It. We're Doing it. Join Us.Contact us: wheelsup[at]brightcrownmedia[dot]comSocial: WheelsUpPod on twitter, insta & tumblr
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Wheels Up
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