007: The Subtle Difference Between Livestock and a Blushing Bride

In order to fully understand the courtship of Fleurrie & Sven Spocket, we dive into an epic 10-strip sequence. Do we also talk about a handful of strips that we're not supposed to be talking about? Of course we do. Is their "romance" as disgusting and needlessly horny as we expected? Sadly, it is even more so. Yeah. We weren't happy about that either. Speaking of not happy, Brooke promised Jeff "4 or maybe 5" comic strips and then brought TEN to the table, making Jeff angry before he even looked at a single panel. Of course, Sven is slightly clueless about Fleurrie's intentions, because he's a male character in this godforsaken comic strip. But it's more than that. We discover that Sven is also a virgin who has been saving himself for his wedding night. We revisit Brooke McEldowney's habit of referring to sexual inexperience as a "new car smell." Which is so very, very gross. Only this time, it's a woman saying it about a man! So...hooray for equality? We don't subject you to the wedding, but we do dive into the honeymoon. Which is gross. Because: What else would it be?! Is there a strip that basically shows Fleurrie & Sven fucking? Like actually in the middle of fucking? You bet! It's supposed to be romantic, but it's obvious that Sven would prefer the company of livestock. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: The first two are here. The boner trilogy can be viewed here. Dumb Sven on his wedding night is here. The fucking and the weird aftermath are here. This episode's extra horny journey includes: SIM cards The Girl From Ipanema Denmark Diet Coke Brach's Autumn Mix Candy Corn McEldowney Ellipses GU Packets Harvest Mix Walgreen's Bananas Fleurrie & Sven Spocket French Rococo Paul Lynde Australian accents Human Kite Chicken fights Marriage proposals Docks Drill team routines Deflated balloons Queen Harry Caray Thermos G-strings & Speedos Boners Amos Silhouettes Deltoids (but we meant trapezius) More boners So many ellipses Virgins & the "new car smell" Implied beastiality Honeymoon Animaniacs The Vet-lise Dutch Angle Karate Gi Bowl cut The Thousand-Yard Stare Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers Show Notes The Girl From Ipanema Paul Lynde on Hollywood Squares. An actual Australian accent. "Another One Bites the Dust" How to carry livestock. The Dutch Angle is only ever used to show that something is wrong. The best of Gadget Hackwrench. Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE