You're listening to Women Infused Radio, where women in the marketplace connect with purpose and spirit, where the conversation covers all things women, business and fascinating fame. And now, your host, Kristi Lynn Olson. Welcome to Women Infused Radio. This is episode eight, and we're going to be talking about becoming visible.
As women working in the marketplace, experts and leaders, it's time for all of us to start becoming visible, finding our voice, our strength, and to boldly stand up and embrace the beauty of our purpose, or what I call your beautiful power, to stop hiding, to become visible. But when you think about becoming visible, I think we oftentimes start listening to all the things that are wrong with us. And you think you have to wait until you are perfect before you can step out, right? Until you've fixed all those things, or until circumstances change.
I want to introduce to you a new idea today. How about becoming a woman of influence who is flawed and fabulous? Being perfect is not possible. Being flawed and fabulous at the same time is.
So many women wait until everything is perfect and never get anything accomplished. Now, sometimes it's fear, fear of not being good enough, smart enough, accomplished enough, and the list goes on and on and on. Being flawed and fabulous is the true beauty of a woman of influence and a leader of change. Now, I didn't say hurt, broken, angry, and out of control.
I said flawed and fabulous, and there's a difference. If you're hurt, broken, angry, and out of control, the conversation has to be different until you get into a place where you can be healed and whole. You're going to hear me say that a lot. You know, I've always wanted to start a radio call-in show called Girl You've Got Issues.
And you have to say it just like that. Girl, you've got issues. Now, seriously, because we all have issues, whether we think we do or not. And I've run into some crazy women in my lifetime who just spend from one toxic relationship or situation to the next.
I actually think they must get something out of all that craziness or else they would get off the crazy train and settle into their purpose finally. Believe me, God wants you to walk in your inheritance in righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. So, girl, if you're listening to this and you're feeling like your life is out of control, let me know and I might feature you on my call-in show someday when God gives me the go ahead to do that. But let's go back to being healed and whole.
Wholeness is in your identity of who you are in the eyes of God, free to be who you are, not all out crazy because of the price that Jesus paid for you by his death on the cross and then by his resurrection three days later. I want you to bring you life, to bring you freedom, and to bring you wholeness. But reality is, because you still struggle with issues of the soul while on this earth, you are flawed but oh so fabulous. Now, I want you to think of yourself as a butterfly.
Imagine a butterfly with four wings, and each wing is an intricate part of the whole. The four wings may be different shapes or different sizes and color, but all four are needed in order to be whole and functioning at your maximum capacity. Each wing represents a part of who you are at your very core, and when you're becoming healed and whole and fully functioning in your brilliance, you sometimes need to take a step back to reassess and reevaluate who you are and where you're headed. Remember, you will never be perfect on this side of eternity, but you need to embrace your authenticity, which is living out 100% who got designed to be in his image, not all crazy broken out of control, because we know that God is a God of order.
And then become vulnerable to take a risk and change in the process, to become all you were designed to become. There are four areas, or what I call wings, you need to get control over to fully function in your fabulousness. The first wing is what I call the body wing. This wing is where you remove barriers and limiting beliefs that may still be hanging on.
It's where your basic needs, a protection, provision, and acceptance lie. It's where you work on the physical things that might be keeping you from moving forward and leading others. It's where you are vulnerable and transparent with other people. It's where you need to not only decide what you want and what you want to take a stand for, but it is where you decide what you will no longer tolerate or settle for in your life.
Now, this could be a relationship that is less than satisfying or supportive, or one you don't maybe trust anymore. It might mean getting a new circle of friends. It's where you define the life you want to build or nurture in key areas, including physical, financial, professional, personal, etc. I really think it's all about character development, because who you are and how you act on the inside influences who people see on the outside.
I've taught about eight character traits that I think can be stumbling blocks for so many women in our common areas that we all struggle with at one time or another. These are also the eight character traits that Katie Brazleton talks about in her book, Character Makeover, which I use with a lot of my clients as a resource. The first one is humility. That's all about being God-focused.
It reflects being honest, being teachable, not tearing yourself down, or anyone else along with you. Now, if you're struggling in the area, the opposite of that is usually pride and arrogance. The second character trait that I think can be really be a stumbling block if we're not honest with ourselves is confident. We need to learn to be God-confident.
Being who you are becoming because of God's grace, not your own power. In the Bible, Zechariah 4 verse 6 says, It is not by force nor by strength, but by my spirit, says the Lord of Heaven's armies. We need to remember to be God-confident, not by our own power. That's when we really start to shine.
Character trait number three, courage. And that's all about having faith in God. The opposite is being insecure and God's love for you. The bottom line is that opposite is fear.
And we have to learn, do we want to be on fear or do we want to be on faith? Because if we're in faith and we're living what God has for us out of faith in God, fear cannot exist. We can start operating and being secure with ourselves and then we can be secure with other people around us. The fourth stumbling block that I think trips a lot of us up to is called self-control.
It's putting yourself under God's loving guidance and in his will for your life. He always has a better plan for us than we can even imagine. The opposite of self-control is anger. So if you find yourself getting frustrated a lot, getting angry with the people around you, it really is a self-control issue.
The fifth character trait is patience. And by that I mean waiting on God's perfect timing in all things. It's really the conversation now that I think about it about Cairo's time versus Chrono's time. Now both of those words are Greek words that mean time, but they imply totally different meanings.
Chrono's time refers to minutes and seconds. It refers to time as a measurable resource. Cairo's time, the opposite of that, means add an appointed time or an opportune moment or do season. Now, Cairo's is the word used for time in Ephesians 5, 16.
It says look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time. And there's the word Cairo's, not chronos, but the Greek word Cairo's is there. So I think what we probably need to do is maybe step back and I'm just thinking of this. We need to get a biblical view of time when we're talking about being patient and waiting on God's perfect timing.
A lot of us I think need to hear this. And we have to make a mind shift from Chrono's time to Cairo's time. And we don't want to miss the wisdom of the Bible. Everything we need to know is in the Bible.
But we can be so single-minded that when we're talking about time we can end up running down a path that we think is correct. Not being attention to the details or even the signs that God sends us. And we can just get further away from where we really should be in the first place. Now the Chrono's mindset, think of it as having 24 hours in a day.
Most of us define our work weeks probably by the number of hours that we work. We work 40 hours, we work 20 hours, we work 30 hours, we have lists, we have checklists of things to do, and only so much time to get everything done. But if we start being conscious of our minutes and seconds, that is a good thing. And we should number our days as the scripture says.
Our time on earth is so brief and we do want to be good stewards of every second that we have to bring God's glory on this earth as we walk out our kingdom purposes. But ironically, this Chrono's mindset, I think it can make us miss the point of Ephesians 5. We are told to redeem the Kairos to pay attention and take advantage of those opportune seasons or do seasons. So we need to make that shift and we need to have what you call a Kairos mindset.
Let me give you an example. We only have a limited time to guide our kids when they're still young children and still actually hanging around with their parents. Or when a friend is going through a crisis, we have a brief window of time usually in which to reach out to them for that moment. Or when a business opportunity or a career change comes our way, we need to use wisdom, but then act on it right away if we get the go ahead from God because that window of opportunity may only be for a season.
That's having a Kairos mindset. So try changing your mindset from being on Chrono's time to being on Kairos time. Now I wish there were an Apple Watch or Kairos time. Maybe one of you brilliant geniuses out there can work on that for me and I would be your first customer.
But not every second holds the same worth. And I'm just thinking out, well here's some moments are more valuable than others. The five minutes that I have a chance to stop and talk to a neighbor while I'm out walking my dog is probably a far more valuable five minutes than if I'm listening to my voicemail, walking my dog, trying to go get my mail and not even aware of the fact that my neighbor just walked by me. So use your minutes wisely, but it's not only about putting your head down and plowing through all the work you have in front of you.
Instead, actually listen to the Holy Spirit who resides in you as a believer of Jesus Christ and tune in to the opportunities and moments right in front of you. I call that being present in the moment. See your situation from maybe an eagle's perspective. Always on the lookout for where God is at work, preparing away for you, customized just for you.
So the real question might be, do you want to plow or do you want to soar? Okay, no someone must have needed that word because it wasn't in my notes to talk about, but I guess it is a real life example of being in a moment. And sharing a word that God has really put on my heart to share with you. Let's see, where was I?
All right, contentment. That's the next, the sixth character trait that I think God wants to refine in us and take away as a stumbling block. So contentment, it's all about being thankful to God in all things. Did you catch that?
All things. Not being envious of others or what they have or what they appear to have. Things aren't always greater on the other side. Stop spending so much time on Facebook.
It can be like being in junior high again if you let it get to you. Everyone looks so perfect and so accomplished on Facebook. And they all tell you how perfect and accomplished their spouses are, their children are, even their pets. Okay, so I admit I've done the last thing a little bit.
Put stop really, we need to just stop. Be real. I want you to be authentic to me and I'm going to try and be authentic to you when I'm on social media. A friend of mine even wrote a book called The Comparison Prison and How to Unshackle Yourself from Comparing and Being Envious of Others.
It's a great read. It's a short little read. It has a lot of little action steps and journal prompts there. So go ahead and Google it.
I think it's on Amazon.com. Number seven, generosity. Now generosity is the opposite of greed. And it also includes how you spend your time, your talents, and your resources.
At the heart of it, it's about being service minded. How can you help and serve instead of saying, why is no one serving me? Your calling is not about you. So don't let this trip you up.
Be generous with your talents and your resources. It doesn't mean don't have any boundaries. Use wisdom. But God gave us those things to serve others, not just to sit and be happy with ourselves.
The eighth and the last character trait is perseverance. We need to power through because the opposite of that is quitting. So we need to learn perseverance and powering through with God, holding us up, giving us the energy and the power we need. Not quitting just because something or someone got in our way.
Now you might have to course correct, but don't quit on your calling. Now all of these eight character traits that could trip you up are also the things that will carry you up as you soar in your calling. It's just a matter of balance. It's a matter of not falling on the shadow side of any of those character traits.
And then refining the ones that give you the most trouble. So don't be overwhelmed. Don't think you have to work on all of those at once. I suggest just pick one or two that you want to work on and keep pressing ahead on your dreams.
The second wing is your soul wing. Now this is the mind, will, and emotions wing. It's where you often have questions of self-worth, image, and identity, asking questions like who am I anyway, maybe even apart from my spouse, my children, my job, my business. And what value do I bring to the table?
And am I even invited to the table? And I struggle with that one a lot. There's nothing worse than feeling like you're not invited, like your abandoned, rejected, or left out. The enemy's greatest weapon is to convince you that you're not valuable or worthy of your calling.
Not worthy of God's love. And it's a lie from the pit of hell, literally. Which is why you will have to put on the mind of Christ and press on and fight for your calling. But remember, Ephesians 6 verse 12 says, For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in heavenly places.
When you start exploring or excavating your soul and finding out the real you, the enemy is going to rush in and try and start lying to you right away. But you're going to find yourself becoming more empathetic towards others. I really believe this as we refine that whole identity of who we are in our soul. And of the faults, we're going to start looking at faults as just part of the human condition.
This is where you can transform yourself into healers from a place of understanding of others. You know because you've been there. I know because I've been there. You've done the work.
I've done the work. And when we as leaders can make peace with our soul, we can become transformative healers to women who feel less than, less than fabulous and more flawed than normal. When you can be in a place to feed the souls of others, help strengthen their mind, their will, and their emotions, then you have this great opportunity to pour in new life to others, into organizations, and to communities, or maybe even your workplace. As generous and soul-filled women, you are gorgeous.
You are compassionate and you are giving. You find joy in bringing out the best in others and their abilities. It's up to each of us to hold here that space and potential for others to affect change in their families, their workplaces, and the world. One small act of kindness can be a catalyst for big change down the road.
Now the third wing is what I call the spirit wing. And in my experience, the unique thing about women of influence who truly affect change in the world for the next generation, they have a belief in God. And they allow him to be a presence who is fully and intricately involved in the details of their lives. They are women with a kind spirit, they're inclusive, and they have a desire for the good of all.
No woman left behind. I think that's my new motto, no woman left behind. They are women who are grounded in the relationship that they have with Jesus Christ, and they understand what it looks like to lead and love, and they have the freedom of who they are in Christ because of what He has done for them, to freely and fully operate in their giftings, regardless of gender, the full expression of who God created them to be. They are guided by the Holy Spirit.
They understand and know how to hear His voice. They live in peace and joy, regardless of their circumstances. Now if you're not sure that you have that, or you don't fully understand what it looks like to have that type of intimate and personal relationship with Jesus, I'm going to provide a link in the show notes to give you a resource so you can explore that a little more. Or you can go to, I think it's peacewithgod.net, but you'll definitely have the link in the resource here.
Now these women that I've encountered in my life that I think exhibit this have an unconditional love for people. They spend time alone with God, and in His words, so they have boundaries, but they're doing that so they can seek truth and seek wisdom and seek answers, and they impact lives as they intersect with one another. They believe in a grand plan, and they know that they are part of that plan. This sense of spirit is going to guide you and give you wings to fly.
It'll keep you going when things get difficult. It's going to become your big why. The passion that fuels your purpose. It's going to be why you do and what you do all along knowing that you are a small part of something much, much bigger than your spirit.
And this is where your vision is born and your soul and body are sustained, nurtured, and fed. That's why it's so important to work on this spirit wing. This is the intangible, the sacred, and what I call the quiet revelation of truth. And it's God's truth for you.
Not your own truth on your own understanding, but God's truth for you. You see God loves you so much that He has handcrafted a unique plan just for your life based on how He designed you and all the pieces of your life were meant to connect and fit together for His bigger kingdom purposes. So constantly renew your spirit and gather refreshment that you need from God's word. David said in Psalms, Psalm 51 verse 10, Create in me a clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires.
Don't toss me aside, banished forever from your presence. Don't take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me again the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you. You see that's all He wants.
God wants to give us a clean heart. He wants us to be willing to obey all of the principles that He puts ahead of us. And He does that because He has such a bigger plan for us. Now the fourth wing is the purpose wing.
This is where your vision comes alive in the mission and the message. This is where you, a woman of influence, combine everything you have and all that you are and lead with grace, ease, and intentional purpose. Kingdom purpose. You take action to step into your highest calling.
You craft and hone in on your brand image. Everybody has one. You need to work on it. And your spiritual gifts, because your spiritual gifts as a believer of Jesus Christ are a direct clue to your calling.
And I can prove that out. Your motivational gifts tell you how to show up. And your ministry or vocational gifts tell you what to do to walk that out. And by harnessing that, you bring about change in the marketplace or in the realm of influence that you've been given.
And I think this is my favorite wing. It's where I do most of my professional work as a teacher and consultant right now because it's my sweet spot. You've heard people say, oh, and you're in your sweet spot. That's when things really happen.
And I totally believe that. Now probably it's where I initially struggled the most and always felt that there was so much more in life than just existing. I've been on my own quest for purpose for so long and started coming into my own once I figured out what my purpose and higher calling was. I remember when I hired someone to help me figure out what my purpose was and I had my own life plan experience with a coach.
I had been struggling to figure out all the pieces on my own. I thought it was making way too long. I was frustrated. And I even remember her asking me what I thought my purpose was right from the beginning.
I was very salty, very frustrated and irritated at that question right out of the start because it shot to my very core of the struggle. I answered her by saying very emphatically, I don't know. That's why I hired you. So please tell me what it is.
Now I wish it were as simple as someone just telling you what it is. But I still had to do the work and you are too and you're going to have to go through the process. It's a process of peeling away the layers of confusion and then beginning to take a new look at how God wired you. And I had to take a look at how God wired me not be ashamed of it, not be uncomfortable with it, but to embrace it because he wired me to be me and no one else.
And it was through this exact process plus a lot of trial and error with other things that I created my vision for the work that I do today called the master's plan. Discover who you are and discover what you love. And it will save you a ton of time if you're willing to activate your calling. In these two-day intensive personalized what I call one-on-one retreats, I get to be part of walking with another woman through all of the pieces that God has either created or led her through so far, then connect the dots through a few assessments and deep personal work.
And with a lot of Holy Spirit led, aha moments in prayer. We then craft a personalized mission statement that embodies all of who she is and directly lay out your mission, your vision and your calling in life. And most time, to be honest, it really just affirms what you already know in your spirit. But we work through any confusion and create clarity and focus and then an action plan to get you started.
Now, sometimes I found that you just need to view your life from a different vantage point in order for things to finally become clear. And clarity of purpose is key to your success. Truthfully, I get more excited about doing these than anything else that I do. It's a front row seat to the most beautiful purposes I've ever seen.
We discover, release and launch you out into the wonderful world of kingdom calling and purpose opportunities. In this beautiful wing of purpose, this is where you engage on purpose and make plans to change your world and maybe some of you even though world. And this is where big dreams take root. You need this wing to complete the picture.
This is where you grow and you can no longer be hidden or be kept tucked away on a shelf because if you ignore all of these plans for purpose, you're actually being disobedient to the calling God has placed on your life. And because of free will, God will go out and find someone else to accomplish his purposes if you consistently choose not to get on board with him. In Matthew 6 verse 15, the message Bible says, if you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. And God's part is where the blessing is, people, it's the abundant life that John 1010 life that the Bible talks about.
I don't know about you, but I really don't want to miss out on my blessing. And this is where we can join forces. Yes, you, yes me. And we join forces with God.
We connect with each other and that's where we create a bigger vision. It's one that will impact a generation, your generation. You see the generation you're living in right now? This is your generation.
It will impact your generation and generations to come. So how do you start? I think that you start by telling your story. You don't wait for it to be perfect, healed and whole.
Remember, I talk about being healed and whole, but you don't have to be perfect. You stop hiding and you start becoming visible. That's how we do it. So let's start telling our stories.
Women who influence, lead and change the world know that the most important life lessons that they get are probably caught rather than taught. You've probably heard that before. I think we have to walk and talk together, do life together by investing in one another. We need to take advantage of teachable moments and divine opportunities in due season.
Remember our Kairos time talk. And then we can influence those around us in ordinary ways that I believe are going to have extraordinary Kingdom impact. And if we dare to become vulnerable and telling our stories, I think we can create an invitation for others around us to get to know us better. The real woman, not the one who pretends everything's just fine.
I did that for many years. The fabulous and the flawed parts. When we invite other women into our lives, we are giving them an opportunity to observe our interaction with our family, our co-workers and our friends. So maybe it just needs to start with you.
Invite another woman into your life. I think some of the best lessons that I've learned were just simply from walking and talking with other women and listening to them tell their story. I love listening to women's stories. I've gone to so many women's conferences and you probably have to.
And while the content might be good, what always makes it great for me is when it's woven in with the speaker's personal story. Some of you might be asking, well, how do you start sharing your story? There are so many ways that we can start telling our stories today. Blogging, Internet radio, self-publishing a book, podcasts like this one, YouTube, article hubs, associations, community events for a cause, even Internet TV, live streaming videos going to be huge.
Tell us seminars, webinars, and the list goes on and on. Our world is within reach today. Truly. Our world is within reach.
And watch for the Women Infused App. That's coming. It's going to be a global media platform. And the cool thing about that is we can reach women around the world.
We can text each other. We can share videos. And we can grow and learn together by telling our stories. Look at how simple cell phones have changed the course of entire countries and their histories because someone was able to tell their story or record a video of it.
We are a very visual generation and telling our stories using any technology we can is going to be impactful. But don't forget the old fashioned way too. Simply have a conversation with another woman in line of the grocery store, wherever you connect. Tell me bedtime stories to smaller children in our lives.
I actually have a friend who is an artist. She painted her guest bedroom with a painting of the state fair. And each year she takes her grandchildren to the state fair. And then she comes home and adds another picture to that story wall.
And then they spend time each night retelling the story of the wall. Isn't that brilliant? Talk about leaving a legacy. Now I have recently realized that through a series of events that I am now the older woman.
And yes, I'm doing that in air quotes. And that one of the greatest gifts I have to share is to invest my time in connecting with younger women. The word mentoring means so many things to so many people. So I don't know what the right word is.
But what I'm talking about is using mentoring as a way of walking and talking together. Mentoring for me is not to create a cologne of myself, but a way for me to share my experience in various situations. And when asked, read by example. Truthfully, when I fully embrace this mentoring concept and connect with younger women and older women, I view it as an even exchange.
I love seeing life through their eyes and usually standing off the accomplishments, vision, and determination that I see in these women. It inspires me in return to be a better woman and to retire. But it can't be forced. And I've had bad experiences with mentoring too, with people who just wanted to create an exact replica of themselves and they expected me to do everything they said.
That's not mentoring. That's dictatorship. I don't know what that is, but to be honest. But mentoring has to happen naturally.
So you can't just pick names randomly and say, okay, you two are going to be mentoring to each other. I don't think that works. At least it hasn't in my experience. But you'll naturally connect with people.
And if it's a mutual connection, it'll just kind of assume over them all to itself. Now, no two mentoring relationships are going to look alike. So some of you might jog together. Some of you might paint together.
Maybe you just are in a Bible study together. But I believe the next generation of leaders are counting on us, the older women, to be available and fully engaged. You know, there is nothing about retirement in the Bible. So some of you who think you're easing out on the edge of retirement, I think that's where God is really going to ramp up what he wants you to do.
At least I'm experiencing that in my own life. And he really is going to want our wisdom and our experience to fully engage with this younger generation. And when you invest in the lives of others on purpose, young and old, I think you celebrate together all of that personal growth and confidence in your ability to contribute to something bigger than yourself. I've talked about that a lot.
You are all the older woman and the younger woman at the same time. Think about that. There's always someone younger than you who could be in maybe a mentoring relationship with. And there's always someone that's going to be older than you who can pour wisdom and vision into your life.
It's the circle of life. So I'm thinking, let's worry a little less about what people think of our flaws and let's Hakuna Matata our way through life a little bit better. In this pouring out and pouring in and mentoring season of life. So don't worry about where you've been.
You're just in the process of transforming and becoming all God designed you to be. And like the life of a butterfly that we've been talking about, you will successfully emerge from your cocoon when God's timing is perfect and begin a new life in Christ. Galatians 6 verse 15 tells us what counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. It doesn't say whether we're perfect, but that we are fabulous in his image, flaws and all, just transformed body, spirit, soul, purpose into a new creation.
But you have to do it for yourself. Ladies, don't die in the cocoon because you're scared or because you think you have too many flaws to be used in the kingdom. There is a lot of kingdom work to be done and you have a very unique piece that God needs you to do. And I also think that I have to do my piece of the kingdom puzzle so that someone else can then be positioned to do theirs.
Think about that. And maybe I'm waiting for you to do your thing because that might be just what I'm waiting on to fully release the next mission in my life. You see, it's all connected. Nothing is random when it's ordained by God.
A girl, it's time to fly. This has been Women Excuse Radio, connecting women around the globe with purpose and spirit. And we want to connect with you. Get your free gift, unveiled voices, six things you need to do to define your value, voice and vision.
For more information on the free gift and links to join the conversation on social media, visit us at christylinnalson.com