010: Don’t Tell Me I Can’t: Sandra James on Sobriety, Reinvention, and Self-Belief

In this episode, Parul speaks with Sandra James, founder of Private Eyes Background Checks and author of Don’t Tell Me I Can’t, whose life has been shaped by hardship, reinvention, and an unwillingness to let difficult beginnings define what comes next.Sandra reflects on growing up on a farm as one of nine children, where work started early and survival often came before emotional safety. She shares how addiction entered her life young, how she spent years searching for belonging through substances, and how sobriety forced her to confront the pain she had spent years trying to outrun.What followed was not a clean transformation. It was years of rebuilding through discipline, risk, and relentless consistency. From starting her first business with a $10,000 loan and no credit, to scaling Private Eyes after landing Coca-Cola as a client, Sandra built her life through long hours, repeated setbacks, and decisions made without certainty.She also shares how motherhood, entrepreneurship, and financial collapse unfolded at the same time, forcing her to keep moving even when she was close to losing everything. The conversation explores accountability, resilience, and what happens when someone stops seeing themselves as a victim of their past and starts taking ownership of what comes next.The result is a grounded discussion about self-belief, endurance, and the quiet confidence that forms when you survive enough difficult seasons to trust yourself through the next one.Explore the Conversation00:00 Building a Life Without a Safety Net02:39 Growing Up on a Farm Where Work Came First04:55 The Closet Bed and the Power of Perspective06:49 A Grandmother Who Rewrote Her Own Future11:00 Addiction, Belonging, and Escaping Pain Early12:12 Dreaming of More While Living in Survival Mode14:40 When the Words You Hear Become the Story You Believe16:18 Sobriety, Survival, and Starting Over in Arizona21:15 Hitting Bottom, Relapse, and Choosing Sobriety Anyway 24:35 Building a Business Without Credit, Credentials, or Certainty28:55 Chasing the First Million and Redefining Success31:19 Motherhood, Marriage, and Starting Again From Scratch34:30 Winning Coca-Cola Before Feeling Ready38:21 Standing Your Ground in a Room Built to Intimidate You42:35 Scaling a Company Through Exhaustion and Invisible Labor45:33 Choosing Yourself When Nobody Else Will47:45 Losing 85 Percent of the Business Overnight54:36 What Changes After You Survive Enough Hard ThingsExplore more:Connect with Sandra James on LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/in/pebackgroundchecks/ ]