010: You Shall Not Pass!

In this episode of How to be a Terrible Daughter, we expand on a topic we touched on in previous episode, and it's a BIG one, boundaries —a concept that might as well have been a foreign language growing up with narcissistic parents. Boundaries weren't just discouraged; they were often trampled over, leaving us with the difficult task of figuring out how to set them as adults. Whether it's about personal space, emotional needs, or your work environment, boundaries are more than just a defense mechanism—they're essential to your well-being. We explore why these invisible lines are so crucial, the common misconceptions that surround them, and how you can start recognizing when and where you need to draw them. We also share the reality of what happens when boundaries aren't respected—or worse, when they're outright ignored. We illustrate how failing to set or enforce boundaries can leave you vulnerable to continued emotional invasions. But it's not just about the doom and gloom; we also discuss the very first steps you should take before setting a boundary, the importance of solitude in recognizing your needs, and how to approach these tough conversations without feeling like you're asking for too much. Spoiler: You're not. Finally, we look at the surprising benefits of boundaries—because, yes, they're not just about keeping people out. In fact, boundaries can be a form of intimacy, allowing you to connect more deeply with those who respect them. We wrap up with some practical tools you can use to protect your emotional space and examples of mantras that help reinforce your sense of agency. If you've ever felt like your boundaries are constantly being tested, this episode will give you the armor you need to protect your peace—and maybe even find some comfort in the process.  FYI – this is the last episode of season one. We've so enjoyed (over)sharing our stories with you. We'll be back for season two soon. Stay tuned! And stay away from your mom. PS: We still want to hear from you even though we're working on things behind the scenes. You're our new bestie, so don't be afraid to reach out and say hi!   We're so happy to be here with you. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to automatically get all of the new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at [email protected]! What We Cover In This Episode:  •    The need for boundaries in all three different areas: person, environment and occupation [3:58]  •    What boundaries are and a common misconception that exists about them [8:40]  •    Specific signs that Elizabeth received from their body and the role that being in solitude helps in recognizing these signs [10:14]  •    The very first step to take before you set a boundary [10:48]  •    Examples of what a boundary can look like and verbiage you can use to have agency in these situations [16:29]  •    Certain agency mantras Elizabeth had to learn and the ways in which self-abandonment differs from sharing [25:12]  •    A cautionary tale from Megan of what can happen by not asking for help [31:19]  •    Actionable tips for approaching the conversation on boundaries, plus strategies for checking in with yourself when you're feeling uncomfortable in the situation [36:08] •    Elizabeth's "Mini Crazy Mom Off" story where their right to privacy was taken away in such a demeaning way [44:06]  •    Megan's "Mini Crazy Mom Off" where a clear and defined boundary with her mother was violated [49:26]  •    Helpful tools that we used this week, with one related to boundaries around devices and another that showed how a boundary can actually be a form of intimacy [57:00]