[019] Heartbreaks, Fluidity, and the Learning Curve of Desire

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Masaki catches up with Kinoko, who has just returned to Fukuoka and is processing a fresh emotional heartbreak. Kinoko opens up about ending things with a married partner after half a year due to his refusal to be honest or transparent about his situation. This leads to a candid discussion about the stark difference between genuine polyamory and simple infidelity, as well as the emotional toll of unfulfilled promises.The conversation naturally shifts toward the complexities of human attraction, sexual fluidity, and relationship structures. Masaki shares his own personal evolution from demisexuality—where attraction was tied strictly to personality and presentation—to learning how to appreciate physical form. Together, the hosts explore how sexual orientations and desires can shift over time, dissecting everything from open relationship dynamics to the hilarious cultural learning curves of navigating new dating spheres.Polyamory vs. Cheating: Kinoko reflects on ending a half-year relationship with a married partner who claimed to be “polyamorous” while actively hiding it from his spouse. Masaki and Kinoko clarify that polyamory requires consent, openness, and sincerity, whereas secrecy is just cheating.The Weight of “Insincere” Relationships: Kinoko discusses the frustration of partners who live strictly in the “here and now” without respecting plans or boundaries, emphasizing that going with the flow shouldn’t be an excuse for being insincere.Awkward Social Boundaries: Navigating shared community spaces after a breakup. Masaki defines the term “awkward” using a funny karaoke room analogy to explain the subtle discomfort of bumping into exes in tight-knit social circles.Demisexuality & Evolving Attraction: Masaki opens up about his journey from demisexuality (attraction based on personality rather than physical bodies) to intentionally training himself to find physical form attractive.Fluctuating & Fluid Orientations: A discussion on “zigzag bisexuality” and how sexual and romantic orientations can evolve over time. The hosts agree that while sexuality shouldn’t be forced, allowing oneself to adapt and change naturally is part of life.Idiom Spotlight - Learn the Ropes: Masaki introduces the phrase “learn the ropes”—meaning to learn the basics or procedures of a new task or environment—while discussing what it feels like to step into unfamiliar dating territories.Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse!Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvAHer interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196