020 Why you have confidence all wrong

Here's a common desire in so many men - "I want to be more confident" which, if not obvious, follows the proclamation "I'm just not confident enough" - or words very close to that effect. They're the words of men focused on a story they have around confidence - that they don't have it and they need to find it. But it goes beyond that, it extends into this idea I have that some people have it, they're doing things I'm not, and because they have it and I don't, there must be something wrong with me. And that story - or line of internal narrative - is what not only perpetuates the belief that we don't have confidence, therefore, don't feel it, but it is the creation of not feeling confident in its entirety. Confidence is a subject we have butchered for so long, like many others in the realm of personal development such as motivation, will power or discipline.What it requires is a deeper assessment, some curiosity to see what is really playing out here. If I want to feel confident in something yet my fear around the lack of confidence - in reality, my insecurity about not looking competent - is stopping me from doing the thing to gain the confidence I get from doing it, I am creating and perpetuating my own misery cycle. This is so common it hurts. And so, that's what I wanted to cover in this episode of the podcast.   In this episode: A while ago I did a short video on my social media channels exploring this idea that most men have confidence all wrong. In this episode, I wanted to take that video and expand upon it. So you'll hear the introduction for the podcast and me introducing the topic, then you'll hear the audio from the original video backed up by an expansion on this idea. From here I'll take you into not only why and how we have confidence wrong, but how to actually gain real, legit, lasting grounded confidence. It's not some magical thing, there is no confidence fairy that will sprinkle you with confidence dust on you one night - it comes down to the stories you tell yourself, caching the BS ones mentioned above, and then in the actions we take.   A hint to what is covered - get used to the idea of sucking and becoming more competent. If you can consistently apply yourself to the simple act of improving your competence in what you wish to be confident in, you will become that. Not the other way around.   This might be a knock to your balls as I shatter a long term belief about confidence and the fruitless actions of countless men trying to build their confidence. If that's the case - good, I hope it works and that you can receive it with the respect for you that it is intended. This really is just the beginning of this conversation, as it can and does need to go even deeper. Exploring and really uncovering your confidence story, both what and how it is anchored in your psyche and, therefore, how we get out of it. This is central to the first and third pillars of the work in my major coaching program the EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY. If you want to find out more about that and when the February 2021 intake - find out more here or email me today [email protected] I have spots filling fast and fact-finding calls with me filling even faster.  As always, if this lands, please share this episode with a man you know could benefit from it. If you haven't, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.  Remember - DO something with the lessons in this podcast. Let me know you're listening and how you're applying it in your life - tag me on socials @mikecampbellmc on Instagram or @Mike Campbell Man Coach on Facebook. Other links:  EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY - find out more here   Other ways to consume this podcast: On Mike's site On Apple On Spotify On YouTube Read transcript (Coming soon)   Get involved: Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Follow on Spotify Sign up for Mike's LEGENDAILY Texts to help you with a daily shot of loving straight talk direct to your pocket COACHING: Book your 'Make My Shit Make Sense' Strategy call with Mike to explore Everyday Legends coaching Academy here.