024: I Know What You Did in Your Last Relationship

This week we are wading into the murky, sparkling, and occasionally shark infested waters of romantic relationships. You know, the ones everyone insists are supposed to feel like a cozy partnership except yours somehow keeps echoing the greatest hits of your childhood. In this episode we talk about why your adult dating patterns are not accidental, they are often emotional reruns of the relationship you had with your parents. And yes, we apologize in advance. We'll get into the relationship red flags, tell-tale signs that you are in a dynamic that is less partnership and more "emotional escape room." We also name the quieter red flags, the ones that do not scream but slowly pull you back into old patterns before you even realize you have crossed the line. We look at how real healing often means rejecting the traditional relationship roles we were handed, the ones that ask you to perform smallness, swallow needs, and call it love. We talk about the difference between a partner who gets curious and a partner who gets defensive, and why that single distinction can tell you almost everything you need to know about the health of the relationship. And because no episode would be complete without a little maternal chaos bingo, we share more of our Crazy Mom-Offs. Including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner is not paranoia, it is strategy. It's boundary setting as a survival sport. We round things out with the tools that helped us through a very intense week, including one simple technique that interrupted the anxiety loop before it could spiral into an Olympics level mental gymnastics routine. If you have ever wondered why relationships feel like the final exam for a class you never attended, this one is for you. Thank you for joining us here for another season of the podcast! If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast app to make sure you get new episodes as soon as they drop. Unlike the narcissist in your life, we'd love to hear your stories and how they affected you. Email us or DM us on Instagram, @terribledaughterpod or at  [email protected]!   Before you go, did you know we're also on YouTube? You can watch what we're up to HERE, or if TikTok or Instagram is your jam, we're there as well and would love for you to join us!    What We Cover In This Episode:  ●       Some of the ways in which the romantic patterns you repeat as an adult are echoes of the childhood relationship you had with your parents [2:51 ●       How healing from trauma often requires rejecting traditional, patriarchal relationship roles that are inherently rooted in narcissistic power dynamics [7:0 ●       The "litmus test" for a good partner and the specific questions you can ask yourself to help gain clarity around this [11:57] ●       What them displaying curiosity over defensiveness will tell you about whether the relationship is a healthy one for you [13:26] ●       Warning signs and red flag to watch for that will reveal you are in an unhealthy relationship dynamic [22:34] ●       Our thoughts on romantic love being used as a replacement for women's dreams [37:47] ●       More of our "Crazy Mom-Offs", including why keeping your narcissistic parent away from your partner and your relationship is a critical strategy for protection and survival [40:39]   ●       The tools we each used during this challenging week and one in particular that was effective in stopping the "anxiety loop" from repeating [28:16]    Links & Resources:    Check Out Our New Etsy Shop & Get Your Very Own Too Tired to People Scent-Free Soy Candle!   Follow Us on YouTube & TikTok    023: The Fine Art of the Fauxpology