#028: Did You Just Gaslight Me? With Shannon Higgins, M.A., LPC-S

Have you been told you’re insecure, crazy and jealous,and started to doubt your own reality and sanity? Did they insult you and follow it up with “it’s only a joke, you’re too sensitive!“? Well then you’ll want to listen to this.Shannon Higgins, a Licensed Professional Counselor is herself a survivor to thriver of narcissistic abuse from her ex-husband, this took place well after she specialized in her field of abuse. This can truly happen to anyone.*Content note: this episode discusses abusive relationships, discretion is advised, if you experience any unease from this, please contact a local mental health helpline or a Trauma Trained Therapist*We go over:// What is a narcissist? There’s a spectrum, including the healthy kind.// What is gaslighting?// I read your submission of real life gaslighting stories both at the beginning & at the end of the episode.// You don’t have to have had a toxic childhood to be a target of gaslighting.// Not all gaslighters are narcissists, they can simply be toxic people but not actual narcissists.// Is gaslighting always intentional, even when parents do it?// How & why people become gaslighters.// How to deal with a gaslighting parent.// Complex PTSD.// Why we think it’s our fault when we’re being gaslighted.// The signs that you’re being gaslighted.// The Human Magnet & Trauma Bonding Syndromes.// Why gaslighters thrive on targeting successful people.// Abuse amnesia and cognitive dissonance.// The importance of not throwing the label out ‘just because’ someone doesn’t cater to our every whim or just isn’t a very good communicator as it invalidates those who really go through such a destructive ordeal of being emotionally abused and vilifies those who simply lack a skill but aren’t malicious.// The difference between pushing back because we are secure versus gaslighting.// Why some find it harder to ask and express what they need which in turns enables a toxic relationship.// What specialist therapies Shannon recommends if you suffered from an abusive relationship (be it intimate or from a parent).// It doesn’t always look like a big deal (but it is!) & why the outside world does not understand your situation and often blame the victim to be the instigator.For current therapies, you can look up a Trauma Trained Therapist that uses one or a combo of these therapies:// Brain Spotting is phenomenal and has long term benefits.// Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.// Somatic Experiencing Therapy.// EMDR.// Brainspotting.Shannon’s recommended resources:// "Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths and Other Toxic People" & "Whole Again" Jackson MacKenzie.// “Why Does He Do That?” Lundy Bancroft.// "Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse" Shannon Thomas, LCSW.// "The Empath's Survival Guide" Judith Orloff, M.D.// "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" George K. Simon, Ph.D.// "Shadow Daughter: A Memoir of Estrangement" Harriet Brown (about a daughter with a mom who has a personality disorder).// "Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists" Sandra Brown, M.A.// "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden, Emotional and Psychological Abuse" Debbie Mirza.// "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" Pete Walker, M.A.// choosecourage.orgFind Shannon at https://unlockingfortitude.com/ & on insta at shannonhigginslpc✨ Don’t be a stranger:🎙️ Thinking about starting your own podcast? My membership at getyourpodcastdone.com will help you actually do the thing - without the overwhelm.📬 Want the good stuff I don’t share anywhere else? Hop on my email list❤️ If this episode made you think, laugh, or roll your eyes (in a good way), you can support the show here. It helps keep the mics on.The podcast host I swear by: Captivate💌 Old school and want to just say hi? Contact me here*Affiliate link alert: I get a tiny kickback if you sign up. Think of it as buying me a fancy coffee. ☕️