You're listening to Women in Fuse Radio, where women in the marketplace connect with purpose and spirit, where the conversation covers all things women, business and fascinating faith. And now, your host, Christy Lynn Olson. Hey, it's Christy. And before we dive into today's episode, I just wanted to give you a little commercial for something we've got going on that I think you want to be part of.
I want to invite you to join our Summer Mentoring Audio Series available only on the Women of Fuse app. During the month of July, I'm recording a daily dose of inspiration for you to listen to you as you start your day, and be inspired on how to use your keys to the kingdom, fight back the enemy of your soul, and unveil your voice with your unique voice. So if you haven't already done it, download the free Women in Fuse app today. I can't wait to meet you there and share a little summer fun together.
Make sure when you're there that you comment and let us know that you're listening. We'd love to meet you. Okay, so now let's get on with today's show. Hello, and welcome to episode 33 of the Women in Fuse podcast.
Have you ever questioned whether you're qualified to do what you do, whether you're in the right place, and whether what you're doing makes a difference? Well, you are going to love today's interview with Brenda Siosis. Brenda is a self-proclaimed business potentialist and a leading expert on clarity, confidence, courage, and belief. She's finally known by her clients as the Connector of Dreams for her ability to draw out what's best within each of her clients, to inspire, empower, and transform them, but also to move them into action.
Brenda recently released a book, Courage to Bloom, Reclaim Your Identity, Release Your True Potential. Her mission is to empower individuals in business to realize their full potential as leaders in life, business, and entrepreneurship. Brenda and her family of six emigrated from South Africa to Australia in 2009 after a traumatic life event. It was then that Brenda decided to start her own consultancy, working from home while caring for her four children.
She lives by a simple philosophy. In life or business, you need to stand for something, and Brenda stands for authenticity. She wants everyone to feel connected and courageous with absolute clarity of purpose. She wants them to know their own value and communicate it with confidence.
I loved interviewing Brenda for so many reasons, but primarily she has an incredible story of resilience and perseverance, and I think every woman needs to listen to this to understand even if you feel like you're not qualified or you're not ready to transition or you don't even know how to transition, she is going to be able to help you through some of the tough spots of that transition. But her story is amazing and she is an incredible woman of God, which is what we love here at Women and Fuse, because we talk about women, business, and fascinating faith, and the journey is that so many women have been on that can inspire us and equip us to do the thing that we are called to do. So I want you to listen into my interview today with Brenda, and her information is in the show notes if you want to get a hold of her, but I love the fact that God can just connect women around the world and we can hear each other's stories and find encouragement and empowerment, even if we're on a different continent. So listen in and I hope you enjoy today's interview.
Brenda, I want to thank you today and welcome you to the Women and Fuse podcast, and it is truly a treat to have you join me on the show, and I just think you have a lot of wisdom to share with other women around the world, and so thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It's really exciting. I know that it's late evening with you in early morning, yes, so it's going to be a good day for me, I think.
It will, it will, and thank you for taking the time. You know, you have a new book that your official book wants, you were just telling me is in July, but we're excited to be able to get kind of a sneak peek, I think, especially here in the States about your book. And what I wanted to do is I want to start kind of in the hard part of the story, but you started out your book talking about a very poignant, transformational experience that literally changed your life and the life of your family. And so I was wondering if you could just tell us a little bit about that story, share from your heart, what happened, and how that started this transition to a whole new life, because I think that's key for so many women.
We think we're the only ones going through transition, but yours was a very difficult transition. So could you share a little bit about especially that day that you had to make a decision? Well, Krista, you've read the book obviously, and for those who haven't read the book, I'll give you just a little sneak peek, but it was really a home invasion that started this whole transition, you know, without giving way too much of the story, because I love people to read it to themselves. And it was not the first time it had happened, and this specific evening, which was six months after we moved into our very beautiful, brand new home, you know, a testament that on the banks of the river, who was stunning, it was five bedrooms, five bathrooms, and marble staircases, you can just imagine it to marble floors, beautiful walk time, you know, it finishes everything, everything that, you know, my daughter calls it the mansion, and it was the mansion, and we used to live on this beautiful property, it was huge, two hectares, which is about four acres, and on the banks of the river, and you can imagine weeping willows and beautiful river views in front of you.
And I had my mother and my mother and my mother were living on the same property as well, and one night, one of my sons friends had come over to come and visit us, and tragically, well that evening, we were broken into at about two a minute in the morning, and you know, as mothers do, you wake up sensing that something is just not right, so I woke up to it and have a look to see what were these two young men doing, because, you know, teenagers, well, we've got to go and check up on them, I suppose. And ran downstairs and saw them watching TV in the TV lounge and said, hey, what is it that you're doing? And even my sons were just finishing off at 2am in the morning, and it was like, okay, well, don't be too long, go to bed, and as I turn around to go upstairs, you know, up you can imagine this beautiful long winding staircase to the top landing, I just heard the screaming from downstairs, and I rushed back downstairs to have my son grippy from behind and say, don't go in there, don't go in there, and he was holding me so tight in his bedroom, was really on the lower level. And I said, what are you talking about?
And I knew instantaneously what it was that we were being broken into. And, you know, I shouted loud for my husband, who, you know, in South Erika, you sleep with a gun under your pillow, basically, and my little two girls at that stage were shining and the screaming and the commotion was going on, they had woken up, my son, who was 12, my girls were 18 months and two years old at about that stage, and so it's like everything is happening all at once, you know, the commotion is like, it's just terrible, you know, you're trying to be in all places, you're trying to be with your son, you're trying to be with your young children, you're trying to get your husband, you know, up and awake, and you're not sure where to go, you're not sure where they are. So you can just imagine the bit of hysteria that was going on in this home at that stage. Needless to say, my son's friend who was visiting Dean at that stage was shot through the stomach, and seeing somebody fall down in front of you and then, you know, lying in this pool of blood, and you know that it's not your child who's got a call, the parent, to tell them, your son's just being shot, you know, at my house, what do you do, is it's a terrible feeling, and my son as well, being outside 17 year old teenagers, the adrenal and that rushes through those little bodies is huge, and you know, they thought that, oh, we'll just got big and tough and chase them.
And ran outside with shots being fired at my son, and as he turned around, ran back to the home and straight into the glass sliding doors that led back into home. Obviously he was a little injured as well, and that was a big wake up call for me. So as I was sitting on the floor next to this child who had been shot and waiting for his mum and the ambulance to arrive, the thoughts that go through your head are, you know, ones that just sort of like get you thinking about, is this what life is all about? Is this what our future looks like?
I can't live here with my children anymore, it's unsafe, I need to do something. And with that, it started the transition of us looking to integrate Australia, we've never seen Australia, we had only just researched it online, my husband had found a beautiful place to stay, we had actually made the decision that it doesn't matter what we want to do in Australia, we will be cleaners, we will be garbage collectors, we will do whatever it takes just to get my children into a safe place. And so he applied for a position at an abattoir really, you know, a small town called Wagga Wagga, which is, I think it's a cool place of the crows, and it has the Wagga, the Maran Bijibir running through it, we had never been there, we had no idea what we were going to be letting ourselves in for, all I know is that I knew my husband would not make it for an abattoir, he has a very sensitive stomach and we still joke about it today, and I just don't know how he would have been able to make it. So I said to him, look, I don't know what we're going to do, but I don't know if you cut out for the abattoir stuff, and so he said, you know what, let's just do some research, our visa had been approved to go to Wagga Wagga, and one day he just woke up and he said, Brenda, can you remember the trade show that we went to where we actually met up with the Department of Trade and Tourism from Tasmania, and he said, look, I just found in a box, and he'd taken out this tiny little Rubik's Cube, and the little Rubik's Cube was a little puzzle that you put together and it formed Tasmania, the island that we're on now.
And he said, what is it? And he said, it's Tasmania, I think I'm going to research it, and so he jumped on mine and started doing his research, and he said, guess what, I found the church, it's a church identical to the church that we're currently in back inside Africa, I think we're going to Tasmania. And I said, we can't do that, we've already had a visa approved for Wagga Wagga, you know, if you're going to follow around with our visa right now, and they cancel it, we're stuck in South Africa, and I just don't know if I could do this, I said, if you fill up with it, I'll kill you, if obviously it's approved, you know, joking. And he just said, Brantir, you have to have faith.
And so I said, well, right now, I think you've got more faith than what I have, and he contacted the Department of Trade and Tourism, and they said, you know what, with your skillset, we have a shortage of your skills of your, would you mind if I set you up for an interview? And he said, please go ahead, it wasn't even a week later, he said that we were set up by Skype, and with an interview, the person interviewed us, loved what he saw, and the other husband position in Tasmania. We applied for our visa, and it took us two and a half years to get the visa approved for Wagga Wagga, and within four days we had a visa approved to come to Tasmania. And we had no doubt that God's hand was in this move.
It was almost like a divine intervention, and it wasn't all noticed, it was. And we packed our bags up and sent the container, which had already been shipped to the mainland of Australia, and had to go through Mauritius first to get to Australia. When it got to Mauritius, we let the note please change direction, and just start heading towards the southern port in Tasmania. And so that was us moving to Tasmania, and the rest is history as they say, but it wasn't the end of the journey.
I think it was just the beginning. Absolutely. And I love how if we're following this story, it was all God. I mean, to think, oh, remember that trade show we went to?
Oh, let me get this little Rubik's Cube. I mean, every piece you were talking, I'm like, oh my gosh, that's God. Oh my gosh, that's God. It's like, he's super naturally increased the time and the process and was able to do in a very short amount of time, but we know that that's the favor of God.
So thank you so much for sharing how he can take what most would consider a tragedy and shift it around inside out for his glory and say, I'm moving you to here. And not only am I going to bless you, but I'm going to super naturally intercede. I'm going to bless your move. And that's thank you so much for sharing that.
And just I can't imagine what it would be like to make that kind of transition, let alone go through a home invasion, but then take that part of the story and say we're leaving. And I'm assuming you you were leaving a corporate job, your husband's leaving a business. That's an entire lifestyle. That's not just trading up or trading even.
You know, that is literally saying, God, we will do anything. Get us out of the situation is what I heard you say. Exactly. And you know, Kristi, you know, people don't realize how much you really give up.
When you do something like this, you know, I don't think we realized how much more. We were giving up when we made this decision. I think we thought that would be a will move and it's going to life will continue on the other side. That's what we thought.
But what we had to do was, I mean, we had to put my mother in our home because she couldn't continue to live on our property. We had to tell my mother and my dad and my sick dad who were living on our property that they no longer had lifelong rights on our property that we actually broke our promise to them and that they would need to move that we couldn't take care of them for the rest of their lives and had their head to find another place. And we, I couldn't take on the promotions that I was offered in my career because I was a new, I was going to be leaving. And inside me, it's like everything that you know changes.
So you don't stop changing from the outside. You start changing from the inside. And what happened to me was I stopped living in South Africa two years before I moved. We stopped making friends because we thought, why should we even make any friends thinking about it?
Now we were just stupid thinking like that, really. But we stopped making friends because we thought we would have to give them up. We stopped drawing near to people because we thought our hearts would break when we had to say goodbye. And you know, I couldn't take on the preeminence position that was offered to me because I knew that it would be unfair for me to take it on when I could be stepping out and allowing somebody else that position who would stay there and make a difference to the community and organization.
You know, we couldn't take on any more contracts in my business because we knew that we wouldn't be able to full those contracts because there was a due date we'd be leaving. So there was so much that goes into that class. We had to sell every single thing and pay off our debt and living the last dollar we lived in South Africa with the positions that we had. We were living above our means, you know, and so we had a lot of debt.
We had to sell a lot of stuff. And you just say when I moved in my book, I think I mentioned that we moved with 240 kilograms of luggage and a container finish which on your right two months later and you know $3,000 that was it. So we started a new life with $3,000 and coming over here, it was like, oh my goodness, how far will $3,000 go? Well, let me tell you, it doesn't go very far.
You know, thank goodness my husband stepped into a position immediately and he could start earning dollars, which was still less than what anybody else in his position could earn because as an immigrant, you don't earn the same initially. You've got to prove yourself. And you know, so it is. Many people take advantage of the immigrants here still.
For me, it was, oh my goodness, I wasn't able to find a job. I didn't want to go back into corporate. I had two little girls and a son who was 12 and my 17-year-old turned 18 in, who was, yeah. And so I thought, well, what do I do?
I can't, daycare facilities are so expensive over the year. Every single bit of money that I earned would have gone to pay for the daycare. And so I stayed at home with him for that first year. And that first year was a huge eye-opener, as you know.
Wow. Well, and that kind of leads me to my next question in chapter two of your book. You called it Ironically Picking Up the Pieces. And so tell us a little bit.
You said your faith wavered and you found yourself questioning more than just your lost status. So you had to kind of do some soul searching. What kind of tell us what kind of steps did you go through to go through that process of finding who you were and what your place was in this new place? I can think of it almost.
I used two metaphors for this. One of them is playing a, well, my business is really like playing an arcade game or more an online game that the teenagers play these days. And we'll get back into that later. But for me, this is almost like getting married and going on a honeymoon.
You know, before you get married, everything is just so sparkly. It's so bright. You're getting to know everything. It is wonderful.
You get married and your honeymoon period is fantastic. You're sickling in, you're making a home, you're filling up your pictures, you're building your house. That's what it felt like for me. It felt like I was buying on this huge adventure.
Something new, a new place, new fruit, new vegetables that I'd never seen the quality of in my entire life. And a beautiful home on the banks. Actually, I mean, it's starting to throw. Twinking it away from the ocean.
I could walk out of my front door, take 20 steps and I'd be right on the rocks on the ocean. It was amazing. And it was like, oh my goodness, this is where I am. This is a new life.
But you don't stop to think that you've given up one for this new life because everything is new. You have people meeting you everywhere. And everybody's like, tell me your story. Tell you your story.
And so you're involved in making you friends and connecting with your church and telling your story and getting your children settled and buying uniforms and trying to figure out the shops. Where is everything? What is similar? Because you try and find products and things that you would normally use in South Africa.
You try and find the similar type of product because you don't want things to be so different that you feel like lost in the shops. So you try and look for things while you aren't shopping. That gives you that sense of, okay, honey, I'm home. And after, you know, while I sent my children to two of them that could go to school, you know, would go for a day or two.
And then all of a sudden I was in high school at that stage, which he wouldn't have been back in South Africa. He was studying primary school. Yeah, he was in high school. So he had to adapt as well.
My eldest, I was increasing. So unhappy. He just said, I hate it here. I don't know anybody.
I cannot make friends. They are so different. I hate it. I want to go.
I want to go back to South Africa. It seemed to me back. And I said, sorry, you can't go back because we're only on a 10 previous year. If you go back and during the time that you're there, we have to apply for our permanent visa.
And we get it. You will never be allowed back into Australia without you having to do it in your own name and apply for a visa. You know how we struggle to get it. Please give me a favor.
I'm prepared to do whatever it takes. Let's try and get you a ticket. You fly to the mainland and you see if you can just work your way. It's your main age.
Go on an adventure. And so he spent 10 months on the mainland, found a move with the South African that he met there, that he knew from the same town, believe it or not, that we came from. Oh my goodness. He moved in with a friend who had come from New Zealand and he happens to be marrying her soon.
So they've been together since last week. But for us, it was that real me stepping back and thinking, well, do you know what? I've moved. But the person who's moved has changed.
Nothing is the same. Yes, my family is the same. I'm still the same, basically, but I don't have corporate anymore. I don't have my become.
I don't have my status. I don't have my title. I don't have my friends or my support network. Well, if everything is gone and I struggle to find a job anyway, because the way that in which jobs were key, I was talking different to what I'd known, who am I?
Who am I? And what is it that I really and truly want? You know, I found that was a question that I said with a very long time. And I do think that anybody who goes through a transition gets to the point in time when they realize that the person who was is no longer, but you're not quite where you want to be it.
And that could take anything from a week, six months, three years, ten years to fully. And I wonder whether we ever really get to that place where we can say, I am the person I want to be or I am the person who I was created to be. Because we are working progress. We are always changing.
God's always doing something new. He's always refining. He's always bringing up something that we have to deal with and to work with. You know, to say, there's this that you haven't noticed.
Have you noticed this in yourself? Oh, my goodness. No, I haven't. Well, does it serve you?
Well, not really. All right. Well, maybe we should do it. And down you go again on your knees, you know, and saying, well, help me to remove whatever it is that that's not serving my family.
That's not serving me. That isn't helping me to become the person who God created me to be. And I think for me, it's that it was the trying to find out who I was and establish my identity that took such a long time for me, you know, until the day that I eventually realized. But it's not me who defines that.
It's God who does. My identity. My identity is who God says I am. And he says, you feel free.
If you're not, if you made, he says you're uniquely formed. He says, I knew you before you were forming your mother's womb. He said, you are, you're incredible. You're perfectly the apple of my eye.
You are my child. You know, all of those things. And I can't tell you how many times those words have caused me to absolutely break down. Really.
And just, you know, sometimes you feel like you want to fight against it, but deep down on the inside. Oh, my goodness. I can't begin to tell you how many days have held onto just those words and just, you know, just held on because there was nothing else I could do. But hold on for those ways and trust.
Yes. And as a woman of faith, you, you definitely had, I think, a little bit of an advantage. But when I hear your story, I think you really went from favored status in the world. I mean, you definitely have favored status as a daughter of the king, but from favored status in the world to immigrant status.
And the process of just trying to normalize your life for you and your children and your husband, and then to add this extra layer of God who am I. I just think that it takes time. And it also for women, you know, you've also mentioned that a lot of times we don't ask for help. And so we try to be so strong for our family.
We try to be so strong and independent. And you specifically listed the word you tried to be bulletproof. So over the years, you became bulletproof. Why do you think that we as women worked so hard to be bulletproof?
And what has to change with that paradigm in your experience? And, you know, Christie, for me, I think my bulletproof came and my bulletproof, I can put it that way came when I was a very young girl. And as you know, most things happen, you know, we are we form our identities and our personality. And all our behaviors formed and our beliefs between the ages of North and 7, I'm fresh and I'm fresh and all years.
And for me, you know, my bulletproofness was connected to my lack of vulnerability or not wanting to show my vulnerable side. And I can't remember whether I put this in the book. I think I may have was a story about my dad when I was a very young girl aged five and six where I really, my grandfather passed away. And my dad and my grandmother very staunch English, you know, and Brits.
And you know how they are, they have the stuff up. Basically, my grandmother had invited me to go with the funeral, I'm conditioned that you do not cry. And so it was like, okay, yes, this little five, six-year-old who's going to a funeral, she's never been to one in her life before, is curious as heck to see what's going on and does not expect what she sees. And, you know, so I'm standing in the church and my dad on my right hand side, my grandmother on my left hand side, I'm in the middle and I have my grandfather being wheeled down, you know, as you know, in the what do you call it?
It's the casket. Yes, the casket. Yes, the casket. And down the thing and suddenly a fearless, overwhelming amount of emotion, well, I put my tiny little body so badly that it felt like I had a tennis ball.
I'm stuck in my throat. So that my ears, you know, in the 11, and the pain, or the sourness of the 11 pulls behind your ears, or when you want to cry and you withhold with tears, your ears feel as if they're going to explode. It hurts so badly. Well, that was me standing in that church that day.
But as I looked up at my grandmother and as I looked up at my father and I saw them with their poker faces, I made the decision right then and there that I would never cry, that I was a big girl, and that I would be strong and capable just like them. And so my whole entire life doesn't matter what I did. I was a capable teenager. I was a capable toddler.
I was a take capable and, you know, young adults. I was a capable woman. And it just got stronger as I grew older. And it was more reinforced by the, you know, even in my corporate career that there was no place to witness.
And for me being vulnerable was classified as weak, you know, and if only I'd known that then what I know now is that it takes so much courage to be vulnerable. It takes so much to be able to say, do you know what I need help? And it takes a brave woman to be able to say, I can't do this on my own. I need the support.
It takes more courage than anything else to be able to say that. And, you know, I think that we form this belief that we need to be able to prove, that we need to not show our vulnerable sides because we are so afraid of being hurt because there is an expectation in the world that we need to be strong and capable and all with it, all the time. Also with a new feminist movement, and look, I love my woman in my group and I love working with women. That's what I do.
And I have two beautiful daughters myself, you know, and I am all with my friends. And I am all for women. I do think that things have changed, that the stronger women feel that they need to become, the more we, you know, we tend to want to display that, I don't need help. And sometimes I think it can work to, you know, it can work to the detriment of women.
And let me just give an example as I saw on Facebook, which, you know, I love Facebook, I'm always on it. And I saw a picture where there were three men sitting in a train and a pregnant woman was standing up and there was a caption that said, having a beer doesn't make you a man. And they just lifted it up. And it was up to you to try and discern what that image was really about.
And I read through all the comments and many comments were saying, do you think that by empowering women, we have actually reversed, reversed, we may no longer feel like they need to stand up for women, men no longer need to stand and give the seats to women or open a door for women because women don't want to have that help anymore. We don't expect men to open up doors for us. We don't appreciate the chivalry that, you know, that gentleness that was in the olden days. And I don't have the answer to this, you know, this is all just, you know, me thinking.
But I think that we become bulletproof because we have learned that we need to do things for ourselves. Sometimes it's been enforced on us to do things by ourselves. So we just end up being capable women of not showing our feelings of believing that vulnerability is a weakness. And we need to be tough in our careers.
We try and not compete with men, but we try and become equal to men in a career, which means that we actually need to do whatever it is that they do. And that means logical thinking, that means stepping into the masculine energy as, you know, the secular world recorded. And, you know, as we know as well, we try and become a lot more forceful. And sometimes that's not really the right thing to do.
We can still work in our corporate careers. We can still do and still be gentle and kind and vulnerable and ask for help. Asking for help does not necessarily mean that we are weak. Asking for help just means we acknowledge that this specific thing I'm not able to do on my own right now.
And that support would be great. And then to have a courage to go up and say, Hey, you know what, can I have your help, please? I'm not having a good day today or this is too heavy for me to pick up. Or I need you to hear me.
Would you would you look at me and just listen. One of those things, you know. So in terms of where did it come from? I often think that it's come from culturally and our belief system, which we've created in books about us, plus society that enforces it on us.
And how can we get rid of it? I think slowly understanding the concept that we actually have within us the ability to be able to say I'm not going to conform to the norm and that I am still going to be feminine in my approach. I'm still going to be vulnerable when I need to be. I'm going to share my heart and ask for help no matter what people think.
We are here to support each other, whether we're male, whether we're female, we are here to stand by each other and support each other. We don't need to put on the group. We don't need to protect ourselves from the outer world. As a matter of fact, the more we isolate ourselves and put on that vest, the more we tend to shy away from connection.
And I think that it's connection that makes the world go around in my personal. Yes, absolutely. And I love how you said, you know, being vulnerable because I really believe vulnerability brings transparency. And when we can be transparent in relationship, in business transactions, that brings the greatest reward.
Truly, I think that brings profit. So when we can operate who we are, so then it really goes back to identity, which is what you started talking about is how do we as women, we have to go back to our identity and be okay with our femaleness and be okay with how God created us and then work side by side with a man instead of thinking we have to mirror what that man does. So we said, I heard you saying, and that's what I've had conversations with other women, especially those of us all speak for myself who are a certain age. When we were starting in corporate, we really did have to dress like a man act like a man and you certainly didn't want to become pregnant because you didn't want to be shut out because they would literally shut you out knowing you weren't going to be there in nine months.
So I think as we learn to be vulnerable, have these conversations and go back to our identity. That is where it does take a lot of courage. So thank you for sharing about courage. And you know, as you talked about the transformation you went through personally, you also came to this new country and started developing new relationships.
And you went through this new country and started developing your own business. And one of the things you talked about is developing a clear and compelling vision for a business. So as you're trying to do it for yourself personally, tell us a little bit about how did you start building a company? How did you use the resources that were available to you?
And how did you learn to dream big? Because part of what I know your story is about not only having courage, but to dream bigger in that place small. You even missed about so many people censoring themselves. So you had a big dream.
How did that play out and how did you develop the business that you have today? Well, my business started out by default to the truth. And I was really looking for a job and I couldn't find one. And so I thought that I could stay at home and do nothing.
I really need to contribute to my family's finances. I'm also very high achievers. So I'm an A-type personality. I need to do something.
And I need to feel like I belong and contribute some way. So for me, it was like, as I was soul searching and trying to find out who I was, what can I do, where I'm at strength line, what are my skills, what am I passionate about. I thought, well, let me see what's on the what's online. And I happened to find a coaching program.
And so I thought, oh, my goodness. And this will help me to figure out who I am and where I'm going and what I want in life and all of those things. I'll go and sign up for this. And so it was made to be just a certificate or in life coaching basically.
And it ended up a whole lot more than that. And so I actually flew to Melbourne the mainland for the weekend, did my intake and then completed a whole year worth of coaching, which included my advanced practitioner and a whole lot of other stuff as well and did a diploma for coaching. And came back and felt like, oh, my goodness, I love this process. I loved being able to look at where I am now and where do I want to go and what are my options available and then put into place the steps that can actually get me there.
Perhaps I can bring this in and help other people to do this as well. And so I've started to start a business called the lifestyle strategist, which is no longer in existence. And it was a pure life coaching business. And being a little naive at that stage, I said at home thinking, well, I'm a low-earth coach.
I have a website and that means that people find me and they'll stop looking for coaching. And it doesn't happen like that. There is no such thing as you know, you build it and they will come. That's not only in the movies.
It doesn't happen in real life. You have to go out there and you have to make it happen. And so for me, it was like, well, what do I do? How do I get myself out there?
How do I connect with people who may need what I have? Not thinking that perhaps maybe it's the other way around. And so I started networking that was one of the bigger things that I started doing. I started networking and connecting with people.
But for me, I always knew. I've always known that God has got something bigger for my life. And it has never been more parents than after my move to Australia. And I think back in South Africa, my dreams and aspirations were really done.
And my time in the corporate ladder was really done on my own steam. It was really done through push, push, push, push, push, and strive, strive, work hard. Show people that you can attend courses and improve yourself and do all that. And I'm not saying any of that is wrong.
It's hard. It is really hard when you're trying to push things into place all the time. And for me, I thought, well, I love the concept of working with women. Initially, I didn't.
I actually was there for everybody and worked with male and female. One of my first clients was a male and did extremely fantastic. You did such a good job with him. And the fulfillment that I got from it was amazing.
And so for me to start my business was like, all right, well, I've got to be able to see it happening. And as you know, God spoke the world into being. But he must have seen it first for him to be able to speak it into being. And so for me, it was like, that's what faith is all about.
Faith is seeing something before it's even happened. And then taking action and walking that what you see out. How do I want my business to look? How do I want it to feel?
Who do I want to work with? And I started building the vision of everything that I wanted my business to be. My dream to this day and you would have read it in the book is still to be able to speak, to travel the world and speak internationally. I want to also box.
I want to be able to work with women, you know, all over. Not just women, but you know, any brave man who's not able to work with me as well. And help them to realize their potential to uncover their own skill sets, their strengths, their identity and to put it together and to map it with those things that they do really well or that they're really are passionate about. And I think that's where my business started.
And I think the vision came from just understanding that even in the Bible, it says, you know, we need to write the vision. So that those who are running may see it. And so it's like, what does that mean? What does that mean?
What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?
What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean?
So that even while you are running past it, even though you are doing your thing, you can see it. It needs to be visible. It needs to be there in front of your face. So what I did every year was I sat down and I took a note pad and I broke my life up as I saw it into various categories, which was my relationships with my husband, my children, my family, my everybody around me.
That you know, my community. And that was when I did my family and I did my career. I did my business. I did my health and everything.
And all these little pockets. And I sat down and I thought, if money was no object, if this was the perfect scenario, what is it? How would I like my life to look, to feel who would be in it? What would I be doing?
Where would I be going? You know, all of those things. And in my book, I share a tiny little piece about my business, just a little sliver. And I turn it into a story, almost as if I'm writing it as if it has already happened.
So I'm calling what is to come into being right now, which is a political principle. And so, you know, to me, it's that, all right, well, it is December 2018, you know, what's due to December 2020, you know, I'm sitting on, you know, my deck overlooking the ocean. I can hear my children laughing downstairs. They've brought all their friends to come and celebrate the 21st birthday party, you know, sitting next to my husband amazed that all this has taken place, loving the fact that we can connect that we can share our lives, you know, all of that stuff.
And I write it with passion, I write it with emotion. You know, when I read it back to myself, I literally feel like I want to burst into tears because it feels so alive, it feels so real. And I do this for all parts of my business. And then from there, I take it and I actually create a vision board from it, you know, and in the center of my vision board, and I think I posted it somewhere as well as always, God is at the center, you know, and based on it.
And from there, I think my favorite verses, I place that all around and one of them is, you know, which I absolutely read again today is that to wait on the Lord and he will prize you up like, you know, wings of an eagle, you know, those who wait on him will run and not go, go, go, go, wear it. You know, and I've placed all of that around it. That is the center. That is my call.
That is what keeps me on the true path because say, seek the kingdom of God and all of these things will be added unto you. And from there on outwards, I start putting things in like my health, like my, you know, my family and my relationships and my business, what they all look like, you know, and so I can see it on the run. You know, it's not just written. It's now in picture format because God's given our senses.
He's given us the visual component, you know, in coaching. We learn about the VAKAD, you know, the visual component we learn by seeing, you know, we learn by hearing. So we hear, you know, we learn by feeling, could be tangible. It's feel it, you know, so if it's in a book in front of me, I can page through it, you know, and see it and experience it by looking at and creating those emotions.
You know, the AD is to self talk. What am I hearing myself say, you know, God says, we need to renew our minds. We need to take hold of those thoughts that we think. So if a thought comes in and it is not, it is not, I thought that is serving me in any way.
I need to capture it. I need to take hold of it. And I need to push it out with something that he wants me to focus on, you know, according to his will. So that is the visioning aspect of it.
And I know that, you know, with our vision, people perish. We need to have a vision for our lives. We need to be able to know where it is that we're going because it provides that hope for us. And that's where we anchor, you know, we have to anchor ourselves in that hope, especially as women of faith.
And you have given us some great suggestions, like specifically how to create a compelling vision. And I love that you said, to call big dreams into being. And we know that that is a Christian principle. And so I'm excited that I saw this shift in you instead of pushing your own agenda.
You started believing God for his agenda. And one of the things you started the book by saying, every woman has a story and as a woman of faith in the marketplace. Let me ask you this, because we here at Women Infused love to talk about all things, women, business and faith. What if anything has challenged you to live out your faith in your work?
And how do you think it's impacted your influence as a light in a world of darkness at times? And Christy, I think we spoke about this earlier, just before we popped on that. And I'm going to repeat it again because I believe that it is so important. And for a Christian woman, I have, I was born and brought up as a Christian.
So to me, I can't think of one specific moment where I have that, you know, epiphany of, oh my goodness, you know, this is me getting my life to you. This is me getting my life to the Lord. I have always been brought up in a Christian home. So some say it may be easier.
I actually found it more difficult. I think that when you convert from a secular world to a faith-based world, you know that there is a time and a date where your life changed significantly. There was never that time and the date for me. That's just how it's always been.
So coming to Australia, it was almost like, you know, I had backslid and not in my life. I had done my corporate career. Yes, I've gone to church. Yes, my children were being brought up in the church and you think, but you know, you become a new one Christian.
And it's only when you go through trauma tribulation that you are put into a position where you need to choose either, or you cannot be a fixer. And so coming to Australia was that day for me. I think it was almost like that half-time moment where it was like, do you know what I can't continue my life the way it was? I am totally different, but God has always been a very, very major part of it, but I want more.
And so for me, it was like, oh my God, I'm building this business. What do I need to do? And for me, in 2014, that's the reason I started that first chapter with Every Woman Has A Story was because my story really started from me in 2014. I woke up one morning with the words, build a faith-based business in my mind.
Whether I had dreamt it, whether I was just thinking it, whether I had, whether it was a God impression, I have no idea. I'm believing it was God. And for me, it was, and I immediately thought, oh my goodness, I can't do this God. I cannot build a faith-based business.
I do not have the strength of conviction to be able to do this too hard. I know how persecuted Christians can be. I'm not prepared to step out and be persecuted yet. Okay, please don't do this to me.
And for six months, I felt like the next morning I woke up and God said, yes, sir. And so it was like, oh no, no, no, God, you're not doing this for me. I'm quite comfortable doing what I'm doing. And I have a group on Facebook.
It's not a secular group. It's an ex-group. It's a mixed group. It's called, and it's going to change its name soon, but it's currently called Business by Design for Women in Business.
And everybody got, how can I be a light if I'm not there for everybody? Jesus, we're not into the world. He didn't pick and choose. He was friends with.
He was next for everybody. He wasn't particular. I'm not particular God. I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing.
And, you know, while I was studying, oh my goodness, her story revealed so much to me. It was amazing. I felt like I was Esther. I felt like I was every part of my story from the, you know, taken from where I was, you know, obscurity.
I have no idea. Nobody knows me. I am an immigrant. I don't even have a job.
I don't have any income. I don't have any of that stuff. You know, people don't know who I am or my past. I'm obscure.
And how he's turned that. And he's put me into a place of prominence. You know, I'm part of the Rotary Club. I've been nominated first and actually was a finalist in Osmanpreneur Awards.
I've been nominated again this year for the Osmanpreneur Awards. I've been a book and become best selling author. You know, part of my, you know, in my church, I'm involved in community. There are so many things.
And it's just, oh God, but God, you know, couldn't have been without him. And I think to myself, you know, in terms of my whole entire journey, I've never wanted to be their bright shining light. We've seen you so visibly for God. I wanted to be a bright shining light.
We've seen Brenda for Brenda. You know, oh my goodness. Look how great she is. Look what she's achieved.
Oh my goodness. Look at her house. Look at this amazing. You know, all of that stuff's so significant.
And I'm, that doesn't happen. And it was like, oh my goodness, God, you have disappointed me. You're not putting me where I think I should be. I need to be on a pen of wool.
I need to be on a pen of wool. I need to be on stage speaking. Why are you not dating my light shine? And I think God has done all the chemistry to say you're light is shining, but not in the way you think it's shining.
And it's like, okay, God, I'm in your hands now. I'm your ester. You're going to set the timing for me. It is for such a time as this.
And that's where every woman has a story comes from is because my story is that why I struggled so much to believe that you've got to want to meet all that to me to be able to build that faith based business. I also realized that there was purpose in it. God needed me to see that there was more to my business than just going out there and pushing hard to make ends meet every single month. God needed me to trust him.
I built this business on faith. They have been months where I have wondered where is my next dollar coming from. There have been months where I have said I don't want to do this anymore. God take this business from me.
I give up. I cannot. I cannot do this anymore. I don't want it.
It's too hard. There have been days where I have said I don't want to be different to anybody else. Can you just let me go and live in a secular world and do what the secular world does and just let me just create my wealth and my everything else because being a Christian business woman is hard. I have been deleted from groups.
I have been unfriended on Facebook. I have been not invited to events because of my belief, because of my faith. My current coach who actually helped me write the book and posted in Facebook, Missing Judge for Me The Other Day, she said to me, you need to make a decision. Who is it that you are going to be working with?
Are you going to be working with a Christian business woman teaching them business principles? Are you going to be working in the secular world and bring your faith in quietly like that? Because you are going to have to choose. If you don't do that and your marketing is very faith based, you are going to isolate.
You are going to alienate and she says many people will want to work with you because of your faith they won't because of your beliefs they won't. I had a sit with this over the past couple of months and think to myself, what I want God, what is it that you want? If you want me to work with a Christian woman because you want me to teach them Christian business principles, how are we going to do that? It is tough.
It is called polarization. That is what it is. You polarize your audience. As a Christian business woman, you polarize whether you like it or not.
Even if I didn't have to say that I am going up the two markets to Christian business woman, but all my messages are infused with faith based principles. Those who are not aligned with my message would immediately be repelled by it. That is called polarization. Ultimately, I would attract only those who are attracted to my message of faith, of building a faith based business, of having kingdom principles as a foundation for your business, of establishing your identity in Christ first before you can go out there and be a successful business woman.
Those type of people who are seeking that message and seeking that kind of business would be attracted to me. So you would polarize the markets. It would happen by default anyway. That is fine.
I can just tell pays and that by making the decision and then taking action on putting my things out on social media a lot more openly. But it has been difficult because we have the fear of man-quisty. We network in circles and then we wonder, well they think of me. If I mention that, Jesus Christ died for me.
Well they think I am weird. If I say that the Holy Spirit guides me, well they think I am totally weird. And what does it do? It is human to question that.
We do feel a little bit afraid to put ourselves out there. We do fear what man says, but the thought comes back to. Are we going to be more afraid of what man says about us and what God thinks of us and who he has created us to be? He has created me to be who I am.
And that is the printer. I am a Christian woman of faith, a believer. And for me to be able to hide that light would be doing God a huge injustice. Plus myself, why would I want to do that?
We need to take a stand ever so more. And we don't have to be loud and say, you know what? Judgmentally not approach to everybody else who does not believe. We need to be a shining light.
We need to love the people. We need to go out there and build up a business full from faith. We need to trust that God is going to come through for us. That He will provide us in every single need.
That the next step is there and it will unfold because His light shines on it. You know, all of those things. And as we do that, have people say, oh my goodness, how did you do that? Oh, my goodness, how incredible is this?
You know, my book, I mean, come on, best selling all things to our powers. How does that happen? You know, only God, it's because you trust and you know that He has you in the palm of His hand every single moment of the day. And please don't think when I speak like this that it's perfect in my life.
He isn't. And for those of you listening to this as well, it isn't. They are. We falter.
We fall every day. I mean, every morning I wake up with the wobblies. Every morning I wake up and think, oh my goodness, I don't want to do this. It's too difficult.
I just want to jump. Give me a job. You know, that type of thing. But you know what, you go out there knowing that you already are a conqueror.
You go out knowing that you are already the overcomer. You go out knowing that God has really paved the way. And you trust that whatever it is that's going to happen today. Okay.
God has got it all in control. If it didn't work the way in which you wanted to work, don't worry. It is another day. A day before yesterday, Monday morning I woke up and I'd take my girls to school and I'm deviating slightly now.
But I think it was important to know. I said to them, hey, do you know what, today I have heightened sense of expectation. Like younger school, she's 12. I said, what does that mean?
And I said, today I am professing that everything that is good is going to happen in my life. And I'm already calling forth those clients who need to work with me. And I'm saying that God is already lining them up for me. Okay.
And as I had said, the nations will come to your light. I said, so I'm calling this force. And I'm saying, do you know what, the contracts that I'm desiring are on its way. God is preparing them.
God is preparing the hearts of the people to come to me. He is creating opportunities, connections for me. Last night, Tuesday night, she came to me. She said, oh, mommy, by the way, did you actually, did you get the contract that you had that expectation for on Monday?
And I said, no, I didn't. But you know what, I'm not worried about it because it's on its way. You know, and it is because I believe it is. And I believe that God wants to give me the designs of my heart as well.
You know, he does, you know, you, I'm actually very rarely speechless, but I think you have done such an eloquent job of bringing this full circle. And you truly have lived an Esther story. And I see that even as you were talking, I could feel that more and more as you started talking about everything Esther went through and how it definitely parallels in a lot of cases with your life. But, Brenda, I am so encouraged now to dream bigger and to dream with more confidence.
But also, I think you've inspired all of us here and everyone listening to brightly shine and do what God wants us to do, but in his timing. And so I'm so thankful that you could just come on the show and be transparent and authentic with your journey, but also give us such a feeling of hope and encouragement to walk out this thing we call life in faith. And in faith with a God who loves us so desperately and so dearly that he wants us to just come to him and say, daughter, what can I do for you today? And I think as your story is in my mind, almost just beginning yet again as you make another transition and shift your business.
And I believe we talked about there are more books that you're going to be writing, but I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this interview, but also for being a part of God's daughters who really want to affect change in the world. So thank you so much. And is there anything that you want to say or I know, tell us, we're going to put links to this, but can you tell us your website if someone wants to get a hold of you? Absolutely.
So, and I just want, before I even do that, I just want to say thank you to you because really and truly I love this conversation. I really didn't even feel like it was being on a podcast or anything like that at all, I like having a conversation with a really good friend who really just gets walking life out with God by who side and you're an encouragement to everybody else, especially with the specific, you know, and program that you're doing. I know that it is your love project that is your heart project and just, you know, I just want to just pray and just say God bless, bless the split, just go out and touch and change lives too. So thank you so much.
I can be found more often than not on Facebook. So my Facebook is obviously Brenda and Siosis. My website is www.brendersis.com and it is currently being revamped. So a brand new beautiful look is going to be up in about a month's time, but it is there currently for anybody who wants to go and have a look at it.
It is going to change slightly with the new changes. They're not taking place, but you're more than welcome to go and take a sneak peek and visit me there. I'd love you to. Thank you.
Well, I'm sure people will and they would love to connect with you. So again, yes, blessings to you and thank you so much for just spending this time with us on your beautiful Wednesday morning as we're experiencing Tuesday night. So it's just been my pleasure. Thank you so much.
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