034: What's Your Style? Parenting on Purpose

Does your day start with gentle good mornings and end with drill sergeant vibes? If you find yourself swinging from the Permissive Parent at breakfast ("Eat your breakfast, okay?") to the Autocratic Parent by bedtime ("Get in bed, NOW!!!"), you aren't alone. In fact, many parents find themselves caught in this pendulum swing, trying to be kind but eventually losing their patience when things don't get done. In this episode, Marjie and Paige explore the four parenting styles and how they shape the roles our children play. The Four Styles at a Glance: 🍭 The Permissive Parent (The "Feel Good" Approach):  High warmth, low limits. We prioritize harmony and happiness. While it feels nice in the moment, we might accidentally treat our kids like "guests" in the home, leaving them without the life skills they need. 💂 The Autocratic Parent (The "Look Right" Approach): Low warmth, high limits. We prioritize order and obedience. While things might look "right" on the outside, it often trades long-term connection for short-term compliance—and can leave kids struggling to find their own voice. 📱 The Distracted Parent (The "Hands-Off" Approach): Life is busy, and sometimes we just let them figure it out. However, without our presence and coaching, kids can miss out on the vital training and connection that fuels their growth. 🛠️ The Encouraging Parent (The "Do Good" Approach): The sweet spot! This is High Warmth + High Expectations. We stop trying to "fix" our children and start solving problems with them through mutual respect.   This Week's Home Play: The Detective 🕵️‍♀️ Before we change a single habit, we have to see them!  Don't change a thing yet—just observe. Keep a shame-free log of your default moves: Which style did your own parents use? (We often repeat what we know or swing to the opposite extreme). When do you step in to "save" them? (e.g. forgotten lunches, tied shoes, or managing their big emotions for them). When do you find yourself on repeat? (e.g. shoes, chores, or the "one more minute" screen-time battle). Join the Conversation: Your ideas and questions matter. Let us know your Parenting Style! We'd love to hear your ideas and answer your questions. Share your thoughts on Instagram or drop us an email at [email protected]. 🙏Subscribe & Rate: If you're enjoying the podcast, please take a moment to rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.  ⁉️Questions/Suggestions/Feedback: Your feedback helps us continue bringing you helpful and insightful episodes every week. Please email us at [email protected]   Hosts  Marjie Longshore, Founder of Family Leadership Center Paige Trevor, Parent Coach   Special thanks to editor Max Cotter and Wendy Tracy   Resources 🤓 Read Paige's PEP blog: To Change the Walk, Start with the Talk describing that clay exercise 🎧 Listen Again: 032 Family Play ♥️ Book a 20-minute Free Parenting Consult with Paige 📚 Explore more on parenting styles in this FLC blog: All About Parenting Styles 🧰Pick up a Family Meeting Toolkit if you don't already have one!   Join our community and share what happens when you look for strengths and share them with the children in your life!   Stay Connected 📝Subscribe to the Family Leadership Center newsletter ⚖️Subscribe to Paige's newsletter