038: How to Keep it Sexy in a Long Term Relationship: Esther Perel’s 4 Things to Foster Erotic Desire

Elle and Vee dive into the work of Esther Perel, a relationship expert, on relationship dynamics, how to keep things sexy and how to foster erotic desire:When your partner is in their element and confident.Surprise.Seeing your partner though the eyes of another.Longing and absence.Who is Esther Perel and what is she about?  (0:38)When you ‘have’ something it takes away the wanting, and how the lifestyle helps with this. (2:47)When do you  feel most drawn to your partner? (6:46)Desire requires focusing on your own pleasure. (9:15)The balance of neediness in a relationship. (10:24)In relationships, certain behaviors bring out contrasting behaviors in the other. (11:51)Two types of people in a relationship: one with the fear of losing the other and one with the fear of losing themselves. (13:50) Relationship dynamics develop around security and freedom and also self reliance and interdependence. (16:19)How the lifestyle supports admiration and surprise. (20:30)When you see your partner through the eyes of someone else. (23:54)How absence and longing helps with desire yet sometimes has a paradoxical effect in the lifestyle group of friends. (25:15)Sameness kills desire: Elle and Vee share how they keep it spicy. (29:05)Forget 1-on-1 First Dates: Try this alternative first date scenario and learn why! (33:32)PSA: We’re taking a break next week! See you in October!  Support the show______How to Support the Show: 💰 Donate Here 💋Linktree: https://linktr.ee/girlsgonedeep 🎧 Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod🛍️ Merch: girlsgonedeep.com/shop  — wear your kinks proudly.🍑 Woo More Play: Shop with our affiliate link — support the pod while you stock up on your favorite pleasure essentials.🪄 WAANDS™:  Crystal Pleasure Products HERE. Get 15% off with code GIRLSGONEDEEP🔮 WHOREible Life: Get 10% off your game deck with code GONEDEEP at whoreiblelife.com  IG: @wlthegame🔥 Naughty Disco’s Sexy NYC Dance Party: code GONEDEEP69 for 15% off any event ticket  IG: @naughtydisco💌 Contact: [email protected]© 2025 GGD Alchemy, LLC. All Rights Reserved.