063: Isle of Misfits

Podcast: Subscribe in iTunes | Play in new window | Download Authenticity is a collection of choices we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. –Brené Brown Courage begets courage.  That was my experience of Nancy Carmichael when she invited me to share a conversation on her podcast, Isle of Misfits. Her podcast predominantly serves a tribe of women; and truth be told, of the over 40 podcasts, interviews, radio shows, and events I’ve been invited to participate with regarding the launch of Becoming a King, Nancy was the only woman to bravely and boldly extend me an invitation.  All of the other communities, organizations, and tribes have been hosted by men.  Of course, on the surface, this ratio makes sense: Becoming a King appears to be a message for men.  Yet experience tells me it's more than that. My sense is that the lack of invitation reflects the aggregate negative impact of fallen masculinity upon women. Many women—perhaps especially those who have fought hard for a voice and presence as a cultural influencer—have been failed not only by the individual men in their lives, but also by long-standing cultural structures that, rather than holding esteem and respect for female influence and power, have brought contempt. Many women, if given a choice, would just as well choose to steer clear of masculinity.  Why would a woman risk opening her heart to masculinity when she has been failed for so long on so many levels? As the Spirit has been opening my eyes and allowing me to begin to see the depth and breadth of the degrading, harmful, and disempowering impact of broken masculinity upon women, what comes up for me is deep sorrow and a desire to be a part of what God is doing on the earth to turn the tide. I have seen many of your lives. I know you stand with me in wanting to be a humbled and strong-hearted portion of the restoration of all things, particularly as it relates to masculinity. Instead of unconsciously recirculating contempt and debasement, my desire is to take the lowest seat, hear from women, and listen and learn—then partner together to help restore masculinity as it was meant to be.  The privilege of engaging with Nancy and the Isle of Misfits was catalytic in my own relationship with God. In the hope of passing on what I recieved, I wanted to bring this episode to Become Good Soil for our mutual strengthening.  Here is Nancy’s reflection on the work of Isle of Misfits and on the conversation that we share in this episode: If you’ve hung around these parts for any length of time, you know that we hold dearly to our core principles, beginning with the dearest of the dear: the clarion call to “Own Your Awkward.” I gotta tell you, though, in this particular episode with Morgan Snyder from Wild at Heart and Become Good Soil, that little value of ours was put to the test, and I was tempted to edit the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks out of it. Don’t get me wrong. It was a great conversation, not just about Morgan’s new book, Becoming a King, but about, oh, a lot of things. The “new normal.” God as “genderful.” Acknowledging wounds and healing hurts.  There is deep insight, let me tell you. In fact, so much so, that at one point in the conversation it took a turn toward the vulnerable, and I had to make a choice as to whether I’d keep that part to myself or share it with you all.  In the end, I decided not to edit it out, ‘cause, well, sometimes a little vulnerability makes for a much more interesting conversation.  Friends, let’s dare greatly together and dive in. For the Kingdom, Morgan