07: Creating a New Happily Ever After

Disclaimer: This particular episode has an Explicit Rating, and is not meant for younger ears.   Today, I'm so excited to bring you yet another sponsor of the upcoming Shine Retreat, Gaelyn Rae Emerson.   Have you ever struggled with moving forward in the aftermath of a failed relationship? There's trauma associated with the complex emotional process of disintegration. Gaelyn understands first-hand, and being able to see a way to serve and help others in the midst of her own pain was a powerful awakening and an asset to her healing. Please join us today as we dive into some profound matters of the heart, and the process of working through them.   Gaelyn is madly, passionately, head over heels in love... with her job. :) As a professional life, relationship and divorce recovery coach, Gaelyn dedicates her working hours to helping her clients survive and revive - whether or not their relationships do. Gaelyn is credentialed by the International Coach Federation, with advanced training in relational trauma for survivors of abandonment, abuse, addiction, betrayal, deception, divorce, infidelity and more. Gaelyn coaches clients around the world, through her online private practice, Women Ever After. Gaelyn is known for (and lives by) her collection of meaningful, expressive and well-timed quotations. Her current favorite is this quote from the Baal Shem Tov: "Let me fall if I must. The one I will become will catch me."   Mari Lee, my co-host for the upcoming Shine Retreat for Women, and I would like to extend a personal invitation for you to join us September 27th - 29th, at this restorative women's retreat, the ultimate self-care weekend where every woman is welcomed. You will be among friends! I encourage you to email me or Mari Lee at [email protected] to receive a $50 discount code off registration. Shine Retreat is limited to 40 women, and it's filling up fast, so be sure to register at https://www.shineretreatforwomen.com/.     Show Highlights:   Divorce is traumatic even when it's also a necessary act of self-preservation.  The act of divorce does not end the trauma but compounds it by adding another layer of trauma. For many women, divorce often involves an increased opportunity and risk for relational abuse. There's a prolific shift in your support system post-divorce. Some women adapt to the trauma, manage that trauma, by becoming used to that standard of fast and furious, turmoiled emotions. Transitioning to a life that is not about constantly dodging the fast and furious assaults can be its own interesting transitional period. When a relationship is terminally wounded, you still have to survive, even when the relationship doesn't.  There are many more resources for assistance today than there were even a decade ago. "Roadmap Gap" - Gaelyn explains that the roadmap gap is when you reach a screeching halt in the standard guidelines for how to heal because you're doing without the cooperation of a partner, and with the additional layer of trauma induced by the separation or divorce. The end result is that you feel marginalized.  Learning how to simultaneously (or in adjacent or successive seasons) cherish everything that was good, while you're grieving and detaching from everything that wasn't. Giving permission to miss the beautiful life and love you shared with someone, even amidst of despising the uglier parts of the abuse or the abandonment. Labeling aspect of how you see yourself in the aftermath (survivor? victim?). Self-Discovery: Defining who you are outside of the relationship and the experience. According to Gaelyn, working through relational trauma is difficult, and some days you're going to be flattened. . .and you will get up. . .and the next day, you grow wise.     Resources:   Her Life Unscripted Facebook Page, give it a LIKE!  https://www.facebook.com/herlifeunscripted/   Gaelyn's Website: https://www.womeneverafter.com/   Special Invitation: Shine Retreat is coming up September 27th - 29th, 2019!!    Registration at: https://www.shineretreatforwomen.com/   Email me at [email protected] to receive a $50 discount code off registration.   You can also reach me at [email protected].   "Shine Retreat" is limited to 40 women.