07 Dentist!

ORIN When I was younger, just a bad little kid, My mama noticed funny things I did, Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head That's when my mama said CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON What did she say? ORIN She said, "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causin' things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist You'll be a success CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque! Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god! He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? PATIENT Oh that hurts! I'm not numb! ORIN Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come! I am your dentist PATIENT Goodness gracious! ORIN And I enjoy the career that I picked CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON Really love it ORIN I am your dentist PATIENT Fitting braces ORIN And I get off on the pain I inflict CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON Really love it ORIN I thrill when I drill a bicuspid CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON Bicuspid ORIN It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted And though it may cause my patients distress, Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me Oh, mama 'Cause I'm a dentist and a success Say ah! PATIENT Ah! ORIN Say ah! PATIENT Ah! ORIN Say ah! PATIENT Ah! ORIN Now spit!