073: How Expressing Your Anger Opens You to Real Love, with Tanai Milgram

In her "before doing the work" life, this is what Tanai Milgram said about herself: My whole life, I was so proud that no guy ever hurt me, that I was always the one to run away or catch the asshole before he hurt me.    She'd left a trail of dozens of broken hearts in her wake … but she felt more alone and angry than ever.    Like a lot of girls, Tanai grew up with the conditioning that it wasn't okay for her to express her full range of emotion. Being kind, sweet, and compliant was rewarded. But expressing things like anger, disappointment, deep sorrow, shame, or even ecstatic joy — these were on the "not approved" list.    In this conversation, Tanai and I get to the very heart of why we close off so much, the price we pay for our silence and withholding, and what miracles start to happen when we FINALLY give ourselves permission to be fully self-expressed.    I think you'll find SO much to relate to here — the anger and resentment, the pain of not holding good boundaries, the absolute terror of being seen, the ways our bodies are constantly trying to send us signals, and the wild journey we're all on.    Today, Tanai is a Women's Intimacy Coach, podcast host, and somatic trauma healer. She's helped hundreds of women be unapologetically self-expressed in their relationships, using different styles of coaching, somatic meditations, retreats, and feminine embodiment practices.   And in her "after doing the work" life, she knows that the key to finding true, lasting love is — paradoxically — allowing yourself to be heartbroken. Tune in today to receive this juicy wisdom!    In this episode, you'll learn: All about Tanai's exciting journey and how she got where she is today What happens in our bodies and our lives when we repress our anger How her pussy was trying to communicate with her — and what happened when she finally listened The moment on a DoF retreat that was the turning point for her Why sisterhood matters so much — even if your "issue" is with men The key to finally attracting the kinds of men you say you want   Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/ Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/ And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/   Connect with Aimee: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/   Connect with Ellie: Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie Connect with Tanai: Check out Tanai's Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/tanaimilgram Tanai's website: https://www.tanaimilgram.com/ Wild Ugly Beautiful Retreat in Mexico (with Rinsha Ballani) — happening this April! The Unapologetic Program   Resources mentioned in this episode: A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson Landmark Education