080. Ninety Pound Pendulum

I was an anxiety-ridden child. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and felt as if I just never fit in. Looking for relief, I made food my solution. I hoarded food, stole food, and stole money to buy food. Graduating to other substances, I was smoking cigarettes at eleven years old, and using alcohol and marijuana by sixteen. When my doctor prescribed diet pills and then more diet pills, I was rocking the world. Finally, I didn’t have that insatiable need to eat. I was animated! I was fun! But every time I lost a large amount of weight, it would always come right back on. For years, even after my marriage and the birth of my daughter, I was miserable and in a deep hole of despair. When I finally came to a Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous meeting, sick, tired, angry, and resentful, I felt something I hadn’t felt before: hope. Today, I’m grateful to be in a healthy, right-sized body, with a beautiful network of friends who understand what I’ve been through. I’ve found a loving Higher Power and a life of peace and serenity. I’m a “satisfied customer,” and I’m going to keep coming back.