088: How Do I Choose The "Right One"

What if choosing “the right one” for marriage is actually the wrong question?In this eye-opening episode of the Marriage of Greatness podcast, Evan and Susan Money upend one of the most common questions about relationships: “How do I choose the right one?” Their surprising answer reveals why this mindset could set you up for disappointment—and how it’s rooted in irresponsibility and a victim mentality. Instead, the secret isn’t about finding the right person, but becoming the right person. With candid personal stories (did you know Susan didn’t even have a “growth mindset” when she met Evan?) and practical wisdom, they share the mindset shifts and character traits—like integrity and accountability—that create marriages that thrive, not just survive.You’ll also hear:Why “growth is happiness,” and how a growth mindset can magnetically attract amazing people into your lifeThe myth of “the one” and how the journey of marriage is about continual growth, not arriving at a destinationWhy taking responsibility (not blaming) is the real path to a pain-free marriageHow Susan surrendered her list of partner qualities—and what happened next might surprise youA bold, actionable tip: the best interview question to ask a potential spouse before saying “I do”What Rolls Royce has to do with passion and commitment in marriageThe bonus question—“How do I know I’m ready for marriage?”—and Evan’s game-changing answer about readiness as a decision, not a circumstanceFull of encouragement, humor, and raw “aha!” moments, this episode is perfect for anyone seeking to elevate their marriage, or those preparing for that pivotal lifelong commitment.Timestamped Overview: 00:00 – A shocking take on “How do I pick the right one?” 01:09 – Welcome and introduction to the Marriage of Greatness philosophy 02:48 – Why searching for “the right one” is rooted in victimhood 04:50 – Attracting what you are, not what you want 05:19 – The myth of “the one” and the journey of becoming 06:06 – Susan’s growth mindset story 07:08 – The #1 trait to look for in a partner, and practical character traits 10:11 – Susan’s “list” and surrendering outcome in finding a spouse 13:11 – Growing versus dying: thriving versus surviving marriages 14:05 – The metaphor of Rolls Royce, and outworking the average 15:31 – Practical tips: screens in the bedroom & healthy boundaries 16:59 – Bonus Q: How do I know I’m ready for marriage? 17:31 – The only decision you need to be ready—for marriage or for happiness 19:27 – Challenge to listeners and closing thoughtsTune in for a fresh and empowering take on love, growth, and what it really takes to build a marriage of greatness!