089 | How to Slay Your Giants: Why Avoidance Isn't Freedom and What to Do Instead

What if the things you've learned to live with… aren't just affecting you? What if the "giants" you've tolerated—fear, anxiety, bitterness, unforgiveness—are quietly shaping the lives of the people you love most? In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, pastor and author Angi Jeffcoat shares her personal journey of confronting the giants that had taken up residence in her life—and the freedom she found on the other side. "We think we're okay," she says. "But those giants are taking up space in our lives… and they're going to impact the people around us whether we want them to or not." From growing up in a home marked by verbal abuse and abandonment, to carrying hidden bitterness toward her father while preaching forgiveness from the pulpit, Angi reveals how easy it is to believe we've healed… when we haven't. "I thought forgiveness was doing him a favor," she admits. "But really, I was the one in bondage." Her story takes a sobering turn when she feels God ask her to reconcile—and delays. Just days later, her father unexpectedly passes away. "I never got to reconcile on this side of heaven." What follows is a journey through grief, counseling, and the painful but freeing process of facing what was really in her heart. Through it, Angi uncovers not just bitterness—but anxiety, identity struggles, and patterns she didn't even realize had become her normal. "I didn't know who I was without anxiety." This episode is both a warning and an invitation: • A warning that avoidance is not freedom • An invitation to identify the giants you've normalized • And a reminder that healing is available—but it requires honesty If you've ever said "I'm fine" while something still lingers beneath the surface… If you've struggled with forgiveness but justified holding on… If you've assumed your internal battles only affect you— This conversation will challenge you to look again. Because the giants you don't confront… don't just stay with you. Key Takeaways 1. The Giants You Tolerate Don't Just Affect You—They Impact Everyone Around You Angi's central insight reframes personal struggle as relational responsibility: "Even if we think we're okay… they're going to impact the people around us." Her unforgiveness toward her father didn't stay contained—it affected her children, her peace, and her relationships. The episode teaches that internal battles are never truly private. What you carry shapes how you show up. 2. You Can Preach Freedom While Secretly Living in Bondage One of the most striking admissions: Angi was teaching on forgiveness while still holding bitterness. This exposes a dangerous disconnect—knowing truth versus living it. The episode challenges listeners to examine where they may be spiritually informed but emotionally unfree. 3. Forgiveness Isn't for Them—It's for You "I thought forgiveness was doing him a favor… but really, I was the one in bondage." This shift is foundational. The episode teaches that unforgiveness doesn't punish the other person nearly as much as it imprisons you. Freedom begins when you stop viewing forgiveness as justice for them and start seeing it as release for you. 4. Delayed Obedience Can Close Doors You Thought You Had Time to Walk Through When God said "reconcile," Angi hesitated—and her father passed away days later. This moment carries weight: sometimes the opportunity to obey is time-sensitive. The episode doesn't manipulate urgency—but it does reveal reality. Not every door stays open forever. 5. You Can Live with a Giant So Long That It Feels Like Your Personality "I didn't know who I was without anxiety." This reveals how normalized dysfunction can become. Anxiety, fear, low self-worth—these can feel like identity rather than intrusions. The episode teaches that just because something feels familiar doesn't mean it's meant to stay. 6. Healing Is Bo