09 | She Loves Me, He Runs Away: The Push-Pull Cycle In Relationships

Have you ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same kind of relationships—one person craving closeness, the other pulling away? It’s not just bad luck—it’s a cycle.In this episode, I’m breaking down the Love Addict & Love Avoidant cycle—a dynamic that explains why some people chase love while others run from it. Based on Pia Mellody’s post-induction therapy model, this framework will blow your mind as you start seeing patterns in your own dating history.💡 What You’ll Learn:✔️ What a love addict is and why their biggest fear is abandonment✔️ What a love avoidant is and why intimacy makes them feel suffocated✔️ The cycle that keeps these two types attracting each other (and ending in chaos)✔️ How childhood trauma and unmet emotional needs shape these patterns✔️ What to do if you recognize yourself in this dynamicIf your relationships feel like déjà vu, it might not be a coincidence—it might be you. Let’s figure it out together.Let's connect:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datingdejavupod/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DatingD%C3%A9j%C3%A0vuPodcastTimestamps:00:00 Intro00:10 Introduction to the love avoidant, love addict cycle00:22 Recognizing relationship patterns and self-awareness00:43 Pia Melody’s post-induction therapy model explained01:14 The Meadows and its influence on relationship dynamics02:06 The love addiction cycle and its connection to attachment styles02:21 Explanation of the love addict’s greatest fear and trauma response03:17 Unrealistic expectations and emotional highs in love addiction03:48 Childhood neglect and its role in love addiction05:02 The cycle of clinginess, fear of abandonment, and resentment06:24 The love addict’s struggle with facing reality08:16 Emotional withdrawal, obsession, and attempts to regain attention09:16 The repetitive cycle of seeking new partners for validation10:11 The impact of love addiction on dating behavior12:04 Steps to heal from love addiction and develop self-worth12:36 Introduction to the love avoidant and their core fears13:30 How love avoidants feel overwhelmed by intimacy15:02 Personal story of developing love avoidance tendencies16:22 Love avoidance and detachment strategies18:25 How avoidants cope by turning to external distractions19:05 The love avoidant’s cycle of duty, resentment, and withdrawal21:19 Healing love avoidance by learning to ask for help24:09 The push-pull dynamic between love addicts and love avoidants26:15 Recognizing triggers and working towards conscious awareness26:55 Coaching and support options for breaking these patterns27:56 Outro