096. Foxhole Prayers

At a young age, I was completely focused on food and how to get it. Gaining weight by third grade, I went on my first diet – with my mom! By twelve, after a painful friendship breakup, I was binge eating and purging in secret. In college, despite quitting drinking, smoking, and pills through sheer willpower, bulimia was a battle I simply couldn’t win alone. College amplified my struggles; the affluence of my peers left me feeling inadequate, and my father’s death during my sophomore year led me to more unhealthy behaviors and depression. Feeling completely ungrounded, I found daily tasks difficult, and my life was truly unmanageable. I spent my days literally going from dining hall to dining hall, eating my way through the pain. A turning point came when I heard a recording from a recovering alcoholic that mirrored my story with food and how I ate. This realization led me to Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), where after several starts and re-starts, I am grateful to now have over 20 years of abstinence from food addiction. This freedom has transformed my life, allowing me to leave grad school (the right decision!), start a business, share in a wonderful marriage, and embrace motherhood thanks to a profound change in my attitude. Through my recovery in FA, I have found a spiritual path, a peaceful foundation, and a life I never could have imagined.