#1 - Leadership Lounge - How to Communicate Like a Hostage Negotiator

Leadership Lounge - How to Communicate Like a Hostage Negotiator About This Episode In this episode, we learn from a master negotiator about how to communicate more effectively through building cultures founded on emotional communication, active listening, and relationship-based negotiations. It doesn't matter if you are left-brain dominant, you can learn the right-brained skills necessary to become a better communicator. Dan talks about how every conversation is a negotiation, why storytelling is important in communication, and finally, he provides some practical advice to start developing and implementing these skills immediately. Series Summary In the Leadership Lounge hosts Tiffany Vorhies and Ryan White have conversations with business coaches and share ideas to elevate your team. Have you ever wondered how a skilled coach might be able to help you or your firm? Well, you're in the right place! In each episode we sit down with a business coach who shares their tools, insights, and practical tips. From personal coaches to strategy planning specialists and even a hostage negotiator who coaches on listening. We will explore topics like the ROI of coaching, how investing in coaching pays dividends beyond the balance sheet. Effective execution, how coaches can help your team stay on task and complete those lofty goals. Innovation igniters, unleashing creativity within corporate walls. Culture crafting, shaping cultures that attract and retain your top talent. Together, let's go on a journey of insight, inspiration, and impact. Remember, success in business is a team sport. And our coaches know how to write a game plan for business victory. About Our Guest Dan Oblinger – Consulting Negotiator/Leadercraft Dan Oblinger is a hostage negotiator commander, author, international keynote speaker, and consulting business negotiator. He specializes in working with architects, engineers, and construction managers. Whether speaking at conferences, facilitating workshops for active listening and negotiation skills, or coaching and consulting with companies to build strong agreements, Dan loves to share his craft and enhance culture. As a workshop trainer, Oblinger is a cornerstone of emerging leader programs for American Council of Engineering Companies chapters in Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Michigan, Ohio, North Dakota, New Jersey, Iowa, and Georgia. He regularly speaks for NSPE, ACEC, AIA, SMPS, AGC, SEI Reunions, Surety/Risk Management, and other specialty design/build audiences. Our Hosts Tiffany Vorhies, NACE CIP-2, PMP – Principal/Vice PresidentSME Project management professional with twenty-five years of experience related to the built environment. Tiffany manages a department that specializes in weld and concrete reviews. A large part of what they do is related to fabrication oversight prior to construction. Then they also follow the life cycle of the structures through the building phase, and into the maintenance phase. From lighting structures and sign trusses over the highway, to culverts and bridges underneath it, we work with owners to protect their assets. Tiffany's specialties include program management of multi-year projects, including contract and scope negotiation, laboratory/field testing, data collection, and quality assurance of data. Our projects typically include Certified Welding Inspectors, nondestructive testing specialists, Prestressed concrete specialists, engineers, and laboratory technicians. Ryan White, PE, GE – Principal Geotechnical Engineer/PBS Engineering and Environmental Inc. As PBS’ Principal Geotechnical Engineer, Ryan is regularly involved with all aspects of geotechnical projects, from exploration through construction, with wide-ranging scopes and complexity. Ryan leads the PBS geotechnical engineering team, bringing over 27 years of experience in successful project management and engineering in areas such as shallow and deep foundation design; slope stability evaluation, monitoring, and stabilization; shoring; retaining wall design; stormwater infiltration; pavement design; and seismic evaluation. Ryan’s project experience includes multi-story commercial developments, schools and universities, municipal facilities, utility alignments, water and wastewater facilities, bridges, roadways, and industrial facilities. Lessons Learned: WARNING The story of threatened self harm (with a positive outcome) [29:48 - 35:06] Introduction [2:03] Negotiating value [3:53] Every conversation is a negotiation [6:29] Get comfortable talking about money/payment [10:10] False attribution bias [11:31] Relationships, what are we talking about? [14:21] Emotional intellegiance, right-directed skills for left-directed thinkers [18:38] Do you avoid? [22:37] Storytelling [24:18] Virtuous cycle [27:11] Importance of discovery [38:00] The client lied to me [39:36] If you want to be lied to, ask a question [41:42] Don't ask a question, make a gentle observation [43:23] Even transactional relationships benefit from active listening [46:45] Industry outlook [51:02] Life or Death Listening: A Hostage Negotiator’s How-to Guide to Mastering the Essential Communication Skill The 28 Laws of Listening: Best Practices for the Master Listener Negotiation Mythbusters: Rethinking Everything You Know About Building Strong Agreements Calls-to-action: Connect with Dan Oblinger: LinkedIn | Website Visit the GBA Website at https://www.geoprofessional.org for other training resources and reference materials and/or to become a member. Visit https://www.gbapodcast.com for future Podcast Episodes Contact us at [email protected] with any podcast-related questions or comments Subscribe Subscribe to the GBA Podcast https://www.gbapodcast.com/subscribe This episode was produced by the following GBA Members: Tiffany Vorhies, NACE CIP-2, PMP – Principal/Vice PresidentSME Ryan White, PE, GE – Principal Geotechnical Engineer/PBS Engineering and Environmental Inc.