1 Nephi 14 This is Pure

Smith gives an invocation to our Lord Liam Neesons. The guys discuss laziness versus efficiency. Smith tells Joe about calculated mediocrity. Joe tries to start a rumor that eating a lime will make you lie. He also tells us about his stake president growing up (Guilt Swirly) who may or may not have propagated the rumor that he could tell when someone was telling the truth in an interview. Smith reminds us that general authorities get paid by the church. Smith sums up some of the thoughts he’s had while recently studying about BY and the early days of the church. The guys agree that Michael Ballam is definitively the sexiest Satan in the endowment room. The guys decided to hold off on FX’s Under the Banner of Heaven (aka Garfield) until all of the episodes are out. Smith reminds Joe about the Alicia Silverstone bird thing. Smith has an idea for a JS re-enactment at his family reunion. The guys realize that they are putting off reading this week’s chapter which reminds them of putting off reading the BOM in their earlier days.  Joe comes back from the break too early for Smith. The chapter starts off pretty boring and kinda repeats the same note over and over again throughout. Joe and Smith remember some ill-timed boners while doing the work of the Lord. Do you belong to a different church? Guess what? It’s a whore, no further questions. The guys come back from the 2nd break a little early too. Joe and Smith wonder what it would be like to be a fly on the wall for a meeting with the church’s PR firm. The guys notice that JS uses this part of the BOM to summarize all of human history until the second coming (not the good kind) of Jesus. In other words, nothing historically important happens from 1830 until whenever Jesus comes back because that time period is unaccounted for. Smith pitches a wonderful fan fiction idea where JS was actually a prophet, and the smear campaign against him was just really successful. Full circle?    The Valets Love Liam Neesons - Key & Peele https://youtu.be/hhfHu6IHBiI Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price Ph.D. https://www.amazon.com/Laziness-Exist-Devon-Price-Ph-D/dp/1982140100  Mormon Temple Endowment Movie - Cast and History from The Salamander Society http://www.salamandersociety.com/media/movies/templemovie/    Alicia Silverstone Feeding Baby Mouth-to-Mouth Video Spurs Debate, Is it Safe, Healthy? https://youtu.be/ZvySMbNA2zc    Why Bible Accurate Angels Are So Creepy https://youtu.be/40KcrrfbJ6o  Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org Email us at [email protected] Remember who you are and what you stand for