1| The Milk-Chugging Contest is Mandatory

Did you hear what happened to Larry the Crocodile? It was so tragic. Don't forget to fill your kid's backpack with milk for the contest! Picture day approaches—remember what we talked about. Don't go into the teacher's lounge. I'm sorry, but did you just say the kindergarten classroom caught fire again? Dangit, I owe Mr. Stanovich twenty bucks. I sure lost that bet. Thanks to our sponsors Thcrabble as well as Yogurt Lidz. This month's parody song is Chasin' Girls: started out, just a hobby. Chasin' teenage girls through a darkened alley. I'd laugh, and they'd shrie Itk. It was the funnest game of hide-and-seek. Minutes passed, I wouldn't hear a peep. Hiding by the dumpster with my machete. Until I would hear her cellphone ring. I'd say, "You can run, but you won't get far. You wanna know how I got this scar?" She'd scream and try to unlock her car. Chasin' girls, what a job. Wanna sniff them and sleep in their bed with them. Suck their toes and cut their curls. Chasin' girls, great to catch, hard to hold, wondering how you got into their home. I climbed in through the attic window. Chasin' girls. Caught my breath, and got a look at a teenage heartthrob in a coffee shop. Standing there I could see my girl chasin' days were just beginning. And then she handed me a black coffee. I said, "Tell me, tell me where's the sugar and cream? And can you give your home address to me?" And now it's: I see you hidin' behind the couch. I wanna cottonswab the inside of your mouth. Let's get married, I already wrote my vows. Chasin' girls, I'm alive. There is nothing more exhilarating...than watching them run around in circles. Chasin' girls, break the latch to her room in the lighting of the moon. Watch her in silence and say, "Soon." Chasin' girls. When you wake up from this nightmare feeling safe as you can be, I'll burst through your closet door and chase you into the street. Oh no, yeah. Chasin' girls, I play fetch. They're the bone, as I dig them their own hole. They're the Pokemon of my world. Chasin' girls. Chasin' girls.Please share this with anyone that you think may enjoy it. I don't know where to find my audience! :|