1. When Old Habits Don’t Die…

Hello and welcome. Thank you for clicking and thank you for listening. I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus, a podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along, the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic phrases are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Picture this, a rectangular box that fits in your hand, covered in plastic. Pull the little tab that excises the top protective plastic covering off the box. Now you can flip the top of the foil cigarette box open, the first smell of tobacco overtakes me. I pull out one of the little paper tubes of tobacco, putting the filter side to my soft lips between my index and middle fingers, with my other hand, I strike the lighter and make fire, pulling the flame closer to my face, pulling in everything that makes the world ok for that moment and that moment alone. I’ve breathed in fire and smoke and released dopamine in my brain. I did this over and over again, daily, several times a day… in many, many places. You could say, I know something about it. Our first week in 2023, so far so good. Promises may have been made on New Year's Eve, as it is not only a night for partying, you might have made resolutions and wishes. Now we have to get them done. Sometimes they imply breaking cycles, correcting bad habits, addictions. Sticky, tricky, addictions. You might want to quit smoking, get out of a bad relationship, start a project, get fit, find a different job, make a new friend, or learn something new. If you think about it, as long as you have air in your lungs, you can build towards what you want. Air is the operative word today. I am reminded of when I wanted to quit smoking. Let me rephrase that, I had to quit because I couldn’t breathe anymore. I was at a crossroads, live or die, it was up to me. By the way, that is not always the case. This was truly a special moment, as life gave me a glimpse into the future, is this the death I wanted for myself? I have a whole other Musing Interruptus for that one… bear with me. The hospital had a world-renowned program to help in the process. I did it because I thought I would have access to better doctors, I never had the intention of actually quitting. Two weeks before the program, I quit smoking, and my plan was to pick it up again when I felt better. That was 9 years ago and I haven’t had a cigarette since. You could say I quit cold turkey, because I just did it. However, the program is what really did it for me. They educated me on my brain chemistry and laid out strategies to deal with withdrawal syndrome. Honestly, not being able to fill my lungs was enough for me. That was scary. I did the program with and older gentleman who pulled an oxygen tank around, he was doing the program so he could kiss his daughters before he passed. He didn’t want his last kisses to be stinky. He was in the final stages of emphysema. Another participant, maybe 15 years my senior, a man set in his ways, vociferating he had absolutely no way of changing his habits or routines (this was a recommendation, alter the order in which you do things). As I heard him say it was impossible, I noticed my own inflexibility cheering they guy on, left fist in the air. No, I won’t change! This works for me you stupid motherfuckers! My insides were going all John McClane on me. Cont. Reading