It's creep show meets Homeward Bound. Follow the newest Cat and Creature game as played through Stephen King's Cat's Eye, this week on King Me. Hey! Oh!
Holy shit! Yes! This is gonna be a raunchy drive time affair. Oh!
Oh! Fuck my dick! Into a powder! Oh, space!
Hold on, what's that? Is that the moon landing? No! That's my dick!
Two dish bags in the morning? No, misogynist and the worst misogynist. Like no straight man playing? Isn't that how morning zoo goes though?
I guess. That's like the dissolution of vaudeville. The two men team has come undone. We have not progressed socially.
It's like a horse that's just an ass at each end. Constantly running in toward itself. That's a Stephen King movie. This summer, a horse with two asses instead of a head and an ass.
From the twisted fucked up mind of Stephen King's brother. It's just a guardian king. What is his name? Goldie.
Yeah, but it's short for Goliath. He said Goldie. Oh, Goldie King. I like that too.
Oh, this week on King, wait, hold on, King me. King me, baby. I don't think we did it. I don't know.
Weird vibes so far, huh? Yeah. So this week on King me, we're talking about Cat's Eye. 19-85s.
Cat's Eye, written by Stephen King, directed by Lewis Teague. Sound familiar? Bitch! I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it. It does sound familiar because he was the same fuck. That same fuck boy. He directed Kuzhou.
Oh! The dog movie. Yeah, yeah, that dog movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All dogs go to heaven. Can you be typecast as a director? Yeah. Right?
Like, Mike the Bay, he's got his thing. Teaguey directs his horror movies. Kuzhou's in this movie. Let's do it.
Let's fucking get into it. I like this energy. Thank you. You know what I'm making up for a last time?
Listeners don't know this, but I showed up to the open mic that we host very lugubrious, I think. Yeah. Is that the right word? I think so.
Yeah. And I feel bad. And also maybe the coffee just hit. Yeah.
So now I'm mixing it with liquor. Right. And I'm going to be the funnest boy. Oh, firing on all cylinders.
Oh, sorry. Let's get into it. Oh, sure. When you say it, it's a good idea.
Opens on a cat walking around. Just straight walking around. And it runs into Kuzhou. Oh, straight up Kuzhou.
Straight up Kuzhou. Yeah. It wasn't the Kuzhou. Yeah.
Guitar legend and racist, the Kuzhou. Bat Scratch Fever. Right. Yes.
I came up with that yesterday. Bat Scratch? Bat Scratch Fever. We were talking about it.
I don't know why I feel compelled to maintain transparency. I'm not a journalist. But I am a soothsayer. Do you feel that way about us?
Yeah. We tell it like it is. No holds barred. Yeah.
Second sight. Yeah. There's a bit of that in this. Yeah.
Well, sort of. The cat. I don't know. Rob.
All right. For the listener. We usually just watch the screen while we're talking to see how much time is elapsed. But for some reason, the cursor isn't following the timeline in the audio program.
So I'm keeping time on my phone. Well, I just wanted to make sure that we are recording into these beautiful microphones. I kind of hope not. Wouldn't it be nice just to have a conversation?
Oh, no. Nope. No. It always got to be a point.
Yep. It's got to be a product. So we have to make content. Oh.
I do that for a living now. And I feel no desire to do it outside of work. So this is a chore for me. Right.
You're making me work for free. Yeah. Cat's Eye. Baby.
Joe. King me. Let's just keep saying the names of movies we've already watched. Yeah.
So Koo-Joo chases this cat right down the street. And then it almost gets hit by Christine. Yeah. Which now has bumper stickers on it.
And seems to have grown up a lot since we last saw it. The bumper sticker says, watch out for me. I'm pure evil. I am Christine.
You know what though? Part of me is like, I wish it hadn't said that. It's a bit on the nose. But the other part of me was watching this movie with my mommy.
And my mommy was like, what's going on? I was like, that's Christine. She's like, what the fuck are you saying? She didn't say that.
She did. She put out a lit cigarette on my arm and said, tell me what you're saying. Tell me what you're saying. Tell me what you're saying.
My sister tried to intervene. And she was like, you go back in your hole. So she did. Yeah.
Because she's a good daughter. Right. Yeah. She loves our mom.
We did just jump straight into this movie. But you had never seen this movie before. No. But I've seen James Woods before.
OK. Yeah. Well, that's close. You have two cats.
I do have two cats. Four eyes between them. Yeah. In a set.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One is three.
The other is one. Right. Pre-master. It's real fucked up.
Guess which one we like more. There's no obvious answer. Yeah. So why did you remove that one cats I'd give it to the other cat?
To assert dominance? I guess over both of them. Yeah. An act of kindness and an act of cruelty.
Hi. I'm Mike Milligan. Welcome to King me. Right?
Pretty good. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's a thinker. Wait, let's take a moment to let everyone catch up.
Take a sip and. All right. Great. I'm excited about it before we watched it.
Yeah. I love I love a good horror anthology movie that you do. I think as far as like horror anthology movies work, I think the best. Like comedy like sketch comedy movies.
They're good. But like I don't know even my Python is an hour for something completely different. Right. Which like the greatest hits.
Yeah. It's good. But it's not the same as flying circus. Right.
Do you think the issue though is that it had been performed live before they committed it to film? I don't know. So like the performers are expecting a certain reaction. Well, maybe but I I saw an hour for something completely different before I saw any other Monty Python thing.
Right. And I liked it. It's obviously it's really funny. Is it easier to understand what they're saying?
I have trouble sometimes. So that's 70s British television audio, which I love. It's a bit difficult. Yeah.
It forces you to really hone in. And a lot of times it's just references to fine art. Yeah. I don't always get it.
I showed it at this point. Yeah. But by the end of the movie, you're kind of like you're a little spent. As far as like paying attention to like new sketches and having the same like level of enjoyment.
Yeah. Well, I think and we've talked a lot about the similarities and differences between horror and comedy on this show. And I think that's why people listen. Right.
I think they listen because they're my close personal friends. I think that's the real reason. Yeah. I Jacklin, hi TJ.
Hi Kelly. Three people I know who have all told me they like the show. Hi guys. Hey, three of you.
But I think the reason is like comedy kind of relies on like hitting you with a barrage of things. Yeah. And horror relies on withholding until you're about to come with blood. Not blood.
I was going to say anticipation. Nope. There it is. Oh god.
Yeah. Yeah, right. Not in your stomach. Yeah.
Yeah. Also bad comedy as part of the issue. Dead silence on the air. Oh man.
I want to I can't wait to look back at the audio file of this and just fixate on that gap. Welcome to fixating on the gap. I'm a misogynist. Oh Jesus.
Five gap or the gap where the penis should be. Yeah. Yeah. That one.
Yeah. Oh, that one. Yeah. The one you conquer.
Oh god damn it. This isn't that kind of show. No, it's really becoming it. Yeah.
It's a horror show. It's a show called King Me. All right. This isn't your boys club.
Some day we might have a female guest. I hope to. I hope to. You know, and I'm all about dismantling the patriarchy.
I feel like I've kind of made that clear on the show. I think you have. It's a bit much, right? Yeah.
Oh, come on. We started with a weird misogynist vibe with the morning disc jockeys. Yeah. And now I don't protest too much.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Kat's right, right?
Yes. Koojo chasing a kitty down the way. Do we want to get into it or do we have more pre-limb than we want to? No, I think that's pretty much it.
Are there any actors like character? We talk a lot about how there are like great character actors scattered throughout that Stephen Kingology. Yes. Were there anyone you were excited to see when you were like, oh, that fucking guy or girl.
Well, we did just watch Firestar with Drew Barrymore. And she's in this. Yeah. Playing several roles.
And I was interested to see how that how her acting, how her clumps were. She had very good clumps. She's too young for me to be talking about her clumps. Yeah.
What are you? I'm not going to fuck me. All right. Wait.
I want to know what you were going to say. No. No. Okay.
I refuse. If you think you know what Rob was going to say, I want you to write in at kingypod at gmail.com. I don't know. Or just text me.
Jagglin, TJ, Killeen. Okay. Just shoot me online. Drummy line.
All right. Shoot me a text, guys. So we need our cat with the eyes. Yes.
That's our linchpin holding all these stories together. And there's no real like with creature. There was like the bookend story with the family. This had a through line.
It has a through line, but no bookend. It's just we're following this cat. Yeah. Right.
That's basically it. So first story. What smokers in corporate. You really like that.
I'm sorry. Quitters and quivers. Yes. Quitters.
Yeah. I love this one. Again, I haven't seen this movie in a really long time. But this was when we were talking about doing this one.
This was the only story that I remembered from this. It is. It's pretty memorable for its weird message that I think suits present day James Woods. Basically.
But I know about him. The message being like, basically anyone who wants you to take care of yourself is a thug. A mafia thug. A dirty Italian.
Oh my god. It's a, I mean, I enjoyed it. It was entertaining. I don't agree with politics necessarily.
Well, that's the thing. Yeah. So we see this like, this is portly bald man, pick up the cat and bring it into like an office building. And that's where James Woods, who his friend drops him off.
He's like, these people will change your life. Promise. By just gone. Real quick though, before we, I want to skate over the fact that that man who grabbed the cat, hat was just driving around New York City with a cat box, like a carrying case.
Look at the cats. He was trolling for cats. Trolling for posts. I was going to say it.
And I was really proud of myself for not saying it. I punched my thigh. That's why I punched my thigh to stop myself from saying that. Well, didn't work.
Yep. No, it's out there now. Yeah, it is. Oh, wow.
You know what's weird? In a sense, Apple Inc signed off on that joke. Every joke that we tell. Huh.
Yeah. They're responsible. Yeah. Your Apple agreement that everybody disagrees to.
Yeah. It's in there. What I, but yeah, my point being, he was tasked with, they were like, go get a cat so that we can electrocute it. Yes.
Because that's what ends up happening. Yes. The cat gets electrocuted. Yeah, they put the cat into a room with like a, like a- An electrified floor.
Yeah. Yeah. Floor. Yeah.
And they play, what's the first one? Yeah. I'll look it up, but it's like, it's not the hippie-hippie shake. Is it?
No, it's not that. I, you might have just made that song up. I don't know that one. Oh, we'll get it.
We'll play that one. All right. Yeah. Oh my god.
That made me so uneasy that weird cover of Twiz and Shout. Yeah. Because it's like the uncanny valley kind of thing. Yeah.
Well, it's like, the way music sounds when you need to write music for like a dystopia. Yeah. Where like everyone enjoys themselves, but they're like super placid and subdued. Yes.
Yeah. And it's really just like- Like a soundtrack to THX. Yeah. So like, it's like, think of Ferris Bueller.
The Beatles doing Twiz and Shout. Got it. Okay. Opposite.
Right. Opposite of that. It's not a phrase. It's not a phrase.
Hey, Bell. It's sort of a parade. Yeah. They tried.
This is what it would sound like. Oh, god. Yeah. Like the legitimately tried.
Yeah. And they're so hardwired against enjoying themselves that they go on their ends. Such a bunch of sad signs. Yeah.
The other day I was talking to someone and they were we're talking about the band. You know, the band Real Estate? Yes. Great band.
Everyone checked out. We were talking about them and he was like, yeah, I want to see them a few years ago with- Oh, fuck. They were opening for- what are they called? And he was talking about Bell and Sebastian, but he couldn't remember their name.
And his description was like, they're British. They're like the softest band. I was like, I mean, like, Melo or just like weak of spirit. Yeah.
That wasn't far off. He's like same sort of thing, but more so. Go back. Go back.
I can't. I was going to do like the name of a Coldplay album. Oh. It took you that long to think of one.
Yeah. Which I think is a testament to like me, my character. Yeah, you're good taste. Yeah.
So, but James Woods goes sitting in the lobby of or waiting on. I really like that. Yeah. There's just a guy crying next to him.
There's something- He's filling out paperwork. This is like, this is an incredibly dark story. But it's so dark that it's funny in a lot of hearts. It's like black humor.
It's like so fucked up that you actually kind of have to laugh at it. It's like invaders him. It's like what invaders him? I don't know about it.
It's like a it's like the ultimate hot topic cartoon. Like kids who shop in hot topic love the cartoon invaders him. Okay. You ever see like the Green Alien with the big maroon eyes?
I think it's fine. Forget it. Great. Just gotta take my word for it.
Enough riddle tree as you were. Great. I'm just going to lean back from the microphone. I've got this.
So, so when James Woods is sitting there in the waiting room, right? And the guy there's a guy sitting next to him who has his head in his hands and he's just crying. Big time. Big time.
Really sobbing. And we're like, James Woods has like the little clipboard. He's filling out his information. And then his wife comes out from like behind like the doctor's office, let's say, and she is disheveled.
She's a shrieking dishrag, would you say? Yeah. Yeah. She's a real doable.
And then he like, you know, honey, honey, and he goes, like, grat, it consoles her and stuff. She starts whacking with her purse. Yeah. She's not happy about it.
And he says, he says something like these guys they'll, they'll change your life. Something like that. And James Woods is like, I don't want to do this. This is really fucked up.
I'm out. And before we can like get out of the building, the main guy, the head guy. Played by Alan King. Yes.
Comes out and he just grabs me. He's just like, Mr. James Woods. What?
Right this way. Oh, his name is Dick Morrison. I'll have you know. And the reason is I kept calling him Mr.
Morrison. I was like, please let him his first name be Bill. Bill Morrison? Yeah.
Like, or no, not Bill. Wow, I'm way off. I got to edit this part because of how far I've been. I was thinking of Philip Morris.
Oh, I got to William Morrison. Oh, OK. That's a talent agency. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Holy fuck. My brain is dying. This is six months old.
That was a long, long walk. I got the pens. So he brings James Woods into the room. And sorry, I'm still using my nose bleeding.
Your eyes are bleeding. I just like, I pulled the headphones off and like some blood like puddles out. Splash is on the ground. That's how much there is.
Anyway, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. So he brings him back. And he asks for his cigarettes. Is that how he gets his hand on those cigarettes?
Yeah. And this is the part that I remember the most. So he has James Woods for his cigarettes. He has his pocket.
He takes them all out and lays them on. The guy lays them on his desk in front of them. All out of the package just loosies, hanging out. And then he goes nuts and he just starts banging on him and ripping him apart and screaming and karate chopping him up.
And my mom was tearing him apart. My mom was not pleased with that. She's like, this is so stupid so far. Yeah.
Which it is. But I was like, this is pretty silly. Yeah. Like it's the perfect.
If that is an intentional visual gag, like there's nothing funnier than someone trying to destroy. But whatever they're trying to destroy, like it visually doesn't communicate that. School of Rock. You've seen it right.
When he kicks the symbol and barely hits it, that's the same joke. Yeah. Yeah. It really I really enjoyed that part.
Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Thanks.
So James Woods at this point, he's like freaked out. Yeah. He's like, I don't want to be part of this. And he's like, it's really too late.
You're already in. Yeah. Go ahead. Try to open that door.
Right. Doors locked. Door is locked. Get out.
And then he opens up the curtain and we see the cat in the room and they start playing twists and shout. And then he starts pressing a button on a remote control. He's holding and zapping the cat. And sparks are flying up out of the floor.
I was actually pretty impressed with how close to the cat they got. Yep. Without harming that cat. Without harming that cat.
Yeah. He did say something that was very upsetting after he recalled. No, I don't. And he's like, oh, he's fine.
His might be a little crispy around the paws. Yeah. Okay. A little move.
But he's basically like, we're going to stop you from smoking. You will not. And it's all based on 24 hours surveillance. He explains in no uncertain terms that this is a mafia front.
Did you get that? No. Isn't that what he says? I don't think so.
When he's like, it's a tax write off or something. Oh. I thought that was like, they were, because they were Italian. I thought this was a mafia thing.
Really? That's the vibe I got. You didn't get that? Not at all.
Thugs and such. No, definitely thugs. But I thought, I don't know. I thought mine mafia, Mafioso, wouldn't care at all.
Like, would not care enough about this. But like, who was he saying he inherited it from? Oh, I don't know. Right.
There's like a bit of exposition there. And like, I also, we should be paying more attention. So movies, because now neither of us are sure would have it. I could be dead wrong.
I'm sure I'm dead wrong now. That he inherited it from somewhere? Yeah. Like his dad or something.
Like, remember there's that picture the guy who died of lung cancer on the wall? Oh, I thought it was like maybe. But it's just like a throwaway line. It's not like a nothing hangs on it.
Yeah. But the story doesn't. Right. He might be, he might make the immemorial.
He didn't need to die. That's true. He didn't need to be dead. So all right.
At any rate, this may or may not be a mafia front. We don't have enough evidence. Right. We can't convict.
He, this guy explains to James Woods. He says, the first time that we catch you smoking, we're going to bring your wife in. And we're going to throw her into this electricity room. And we're going to zap her.
The second time, we're going to do it to your daughter. And the third time, huge leap, huge leap. We're going to our word, your wife. Yeah.
Oh. That was that I did not remember. And that was that's by far the most upsetting part of the whole movie. Of the whole movie.
Yeah. Oh, what about the end of this this segment though? I thought that was a pretty good reveal. Yeah.
Yeah. That's really good. I mean, it's not as upsetting, obviously. But like when he said that, I was like, oh fuck, that guy that was waiting on the room sobbing into his hands.
Did his wife get electrocuted? Or did she get? Right. Yeah.
Oh, I don't know. I didn't I I couldn't dwell on it too long because it was it's too. This is actually the first time thinking. I didn't even make that connection.
Yeah. So it's it's kind of upsetting that way. If you think of it that way, you hope that she just got electric. Now I now feel bad for calling her screaming different.
That's like that is not I'm a feminist. Oh, I'm becoming my morning zoo persona. Oh, I'm taking my work home with me. Bigger misogynist.
Yeah. That's your persona. Yeah. Yeah.
And then he says if we catch it for a time, well, there's really nothing we could do for you. And then he opens the jacket to reveal a gun. So this is all stuff that James Woods has kicking around his head. He's like, I I'm not going to smoke because these are all horrifying.
Yeah. penalties. I really I hated the moment when he got home and he's talking to his wife. Well, wait, I'm going to quit watching the Dead Zone.
Oh, right. Yeah. Which was disappointing to me because that totally debunks whatever flimsy theory we had going that all of these movies could take place in the same universe. Yeah.
Also, debunks by the fact that Drew Barrymore is in both of these movies. But Drew Barrymore plays several characters in this movie. So the theory could be that maybe it's some sort of multiverse thing where they're overlapping. Sometimes they're bumping into each other and crossing over.
That's literally what the dark tower is. That's pretty much. Yeah. It's just like different universes kind of bleeding to each other.
I'm like a Stephen King. A real dickhead. Yeah. I was really disappointed or thrilled that he wasn't in this movie.
Stephen? Yeah. Ah, I think he there was probably a park for him somewhere. As like, were there even really any townies in this movie?
Well, I did write that down. I think maybe you could consider junk a townie. Junk is the fat bald man who takes the cat and helps out. He handles all the dirty work for Quitter Zink.
Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He's like a he can be a townie, but or Ducky, who was in the next story that takes place in the bag. The guy from Dumb and Dumber. Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know. I feel like of those two junk as you called him. That's his name.
That's his Christian name. It's on his. Junk. Michael.
Michael. Garbage. Michael's his confirmation. Now the patron saint of dirt bag.
Right. Jesus. Junk Michael. Junk Michael.
It's mom calling him in for dinner. That wasn't clear. Um, it was. I think there was the closest things we get to townies though.
And that's our townie profile. Yeah. We don't have one for them. I'm very upset.
It's the thin at best. Yeah. But um, Junk. That's all he needs to know.
His name's fucking junk. And it's his job to capture cats to be tortured. Right. There you go.
Piece of shit. So James Woods, he wakes up in the middle of the night. He's like, I'm going to grab a quick smoke. And and then he hears somebody in his closet.
Yeah. And he like, he's like, he didn't light it. So it's all good. Mm-hm.