10: Keeping Commitments to Yourself

Our caller today is Sha who is a millennial. Millennials are today's 20 and early 30 somethings. Many millennials are unjustly thought to be narcissistic, entitled and said to have no work ethic. Sha is experiencing residue from having many of her decisions made for her during her adolescence. And it's not just Sha who is confronting these issues; many millennials feel the effects of over-parenting and the accompanying pressures that linger from missing out on important developmental stages. Sha and I uncover her validation issues and examine her inability to stick to a routine. She becomes aware of her past programming and I offer her tools to assist her in reprogramming herself. One important tool is to understand that what she wants to hear from others is what she actually wants to hear from herself. We also explore ways to relieve anxiety and self-trust issues through being in the present. After the coaching session, I offer a special guided meditation; so go to a quiet place where you can close your eyes and get serene with me. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble making decisions? Do you consult multiple people before you make a choice? Is it hard for you to stick with a routine or stay disciplined? Do you have a hard time quieting your mind? Sha's Question: Sha finds it hard to make decisions and is having trouble relaxing. Sha's Key Insights and Aha's: ● She was peacocking all the time ● She wasn't seeing herself ● She may have missed out on fundamental developmental stages ● She has difficulty with discipline and routines ● She doesn't trust herself How to get over it and on with it: ● Practice telling yourself "be here now" ● Repair yourself by giving yourself the developmental stages you didn't have ● Take actions to support autonomy and decision making ● Add some routines to your life ● Start making decisions Tools and Takeaways: ● Validation seekers should write a list of everything they want to hear from others and say these things to themselves ● Make a solo decision making challenge ● Write out a routine for yourself. Have one commitment every morning and one commitment every evening ● Start a meditation practice Resources: Christine Hassler The Solo-Decision Making Challenge Christine's Meditation Rx CD @christinhassler