10. Where Are You Going?

Musing Interruptus is a podcast meant for sharing thoughts and stories and enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation.  Hey! You! You there! Where are you going? Can I go with you? Let’s go together. I have nothing better to do than to be with you on this journey. I think this is a good opportunity to talk, as most trips prove to be. We need to have this conversation. I don’t mind if you are not sure where you are going right this moment, but, it would put my mind at ease if you were factoring me in. I wouldn’t like to be in the middle of our journey only to find out you no longer want me to tag along. Then again, that is something to be expected. This could happen, you could wish for me not to tag along anymore. If you and I were not on the same page, I or you would have to get used to the idea of not going anywhere together anymore.  Perhaps it is better if you go your own way, from the start. That way, we never have to part. That saves me a lot of trouble. If I don’t get used to being around you, I will never suffer your loss. I think that would be a great loss. Reality is, I cannot refuse to go along on this trip. We are in it, you and I, I and you who are now a we. We go along together. At first, it was not easy. Getting used to each other’s smells and habits. Silences broken in sacred places. Those alerts that go off when I most want to sink into my pillow and into my parallel worlds where others await me. Those worlds where distance and time do not matter, just presence of mind and Freudian slips and slights of hand. That is for another musing interruptus.  Tell me now, where are we going? Tell me how long you will stay. I need to know. It is hard for me not to know. Then again, you don’t know how long I will stay either. It’s funny the way we met. It is like our energy simply melted into each other, or was it that we recognized each other from a past life? Do you believe in that? I wish you could tell me. I would love to know. I would so love to have confirmation of everything that I feel in my heart and think about us. Whatever it is we share. Then I see you, and I don’t need it anymore. I feel the instant confirmation of all my hypotheses. You might think I am mad, but you know my heart. I want to say I know yours. But in comes that uncertainty and uneasy feeling that I have made the whole story up in my head.  What a thing for you to be you, and me to be me, in this world and to find each other. I wonder if you think about that too. You could have picked anyone else or been picked by someone else. We might not be here, crossing intersections and changing lanes, traveling, sleeping, parting temporarily until it is time to part forever.  Is it all for just now or is there a forever scenario? Does this transcend the plane of the ephemeral? Are we to be carried out over the waves of time and energy and universes? This is how I know when I meet somebody that is here to stay. There is a pang, a jolt, like an awakening and the certainty that this was supposed to happen. This was meant to be, projected into the future. Some say they felt struck by lightning or some kind of energy when they met a person or pet. I’ve felt that. The certainty that there will be a story beyond this moment. A confirmation that ushers me through the threshold. Keep going, don’t be afraid. There is no point in resisting this. Maddening as it is, maddening as ever. It would be so much easier to have confirmation, proof, and certainty beyond what I think my heart feels or what my heart thinks my brain knows.  <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d8FmmP6u