102: The Female Ambition Penalty with Stefanie O'Connell

For years, women have been told that success comes down to confidence: negotiate your salary, advocate for yourself, and lean in. But what happens when women follow that advice—and still face backlash?In this episode, Amanda sits down with writer and researcher Stefanie O’Connell to unpack the research behind what she calls the “ambition penalty.” We discuss: Why women negotiate salaries just as often as men—but are more likely to face backlash for it How cultural expectations about gender shape workplace outcomes The difference between personal failure and structural barriers How the “lean in” narrative oversimplifies the challenges women face The gap between the girl-power messaging many millennials grew up with and their current reality How motherhood and midlife can intensify these structural pressures Why understanding the data can help women stop blaming themselves You can follow Stefanie on Instagram @stefanieoconnell. Find more of her work on Substack at https://tooambitious.substack.com/. You can also pre-order her book "The Ambition Penalty" on her website here: https://tooambitious.com/book/.If you’d like to support the show one of the best things you can do is leave us a review and share the pod! THANK YOU!We have some incredible BONUS episodes on our SUBSTACK! nuanceneeded.substack.comTo learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area.Want to join the conversation? You can email us [email protected]. We’d love to hear what you think!