102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure episode artwork

EPISODE · Nov 25, 2025 · 21 MIN

102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure

from The Anxious To Secure PODCAST · host Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)     FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   This episode might break your heart a little… but YOU need this little wake up call (because I would have THANKED anyone at least later realising this...) Because today I’m finally saying the part no one talks about. The part I wish someone told ME 10 years ago 🤎🔙 The REAL cost of anxious attachment 💔 Not the cute Instagram version. The actual impact. On your body. On your relationships. On your future. On the YEARS you can’t get back.     I’m sharing the stories my clients whisper to me. The things they regret. The “I wish I knew this earlier” moments that always hit the deepest. And the hard truth I learned myself… after becoming securely attached. Because anxious attachment isn’t just overthinking texts. It’s the rushing. The chest tightness. The stomach pain. The walking fast. The losing yourself in fear. The love you push away without realizing it. I’ll walk you through: the relationships people lose the friendships they break the years they spend chasing crumbs the life paths they delay the health issues no one connects to anxiety the moments you can’t re-do   And then… we go into the HOPE. Because it’s not too late. Not at 25. Not at 35. Not at 55. Not even at 80. ✨ You can STILL become secure. You can STILL feel calm. You can STILL create a life that feels like peace instead of panic. You can STILL rewrite your story. 🖤✨ If you’ve ever thought: “I wasted so much time…” “I ruined the best relationship I ever had…” “I don’t trust myself anymore…” “I don’t want to spend the next 10 years like this…” Then this episode is for you. 🤎✨ This is your wake-up moment. Your turning point. Your reminder that you deserve a life that feels soft, grounded, and safe. Listen now. Your future self is begging you to.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 The Journey to Secure Attachment 01:10 The COST of anxious attachment you DON'T realise.. 07:43 The everyday impact of Anxious Attachment 10:43 REAL life consequences that tear me up every time 14:46 What anxious attachment STEALS forever from you 15:35 What it takes to become secure 18:03 So is it too late be become securely attached?   FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.   ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)     FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   This episode might break your heart a little… but YOU need this little wake up call (because I would have THANKED anyone at least later realising this...) Because today I’m finally saying the part no one talks about.The part I wish someone told ME 10 years ago 🤎🔙 The REAL cost of anxious attachment 💔Not the cute Instagram version.The actual impact.On your body.On your relationships.On your future.On the YEARS you can’t get back.     I’m sharing the stories my clients whisper to me.The things they regret.The “I wish I knew this earlier” moments that always hit the deepest.And the hard truth I learned myself…after becoming securely attached. Because anxious attachment isn’t just overthinking texts.It’s the rushing.The chest tightness.The stomach pain.The walking fast.The losing yourself in fear.The love you push away without realizing it. I’ll walk you through: the relationships people lose the friendships they break the years they spend chasing crumbs the life paths they delay the health issues no one connects to anxiety the moments you can’t re-do   And then…we go into the HOPE.Because it’s not too late.Not at 25.Not at 35.Not at 55.Not even at 80.✨ You can STILL become secure.You can STILL feel calm.You can STILL create a life that feels like peace instead of panic.You can STILL rewrite your story.🖤✨ If you’ve ever thought:“I wasted so much time…”“I ruined the best relationship I ever had…”“I don’t trust myself anymore…”“I don’t want to spend the next 10 years like this…”Then this episode is for you.🤎✨ This is your wake-up moment.Your turning point.Your reminder that you deserve a life that feels soft, grounded, and safe. Listen now.Your future self is begging you to.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 The Journey to Secure Attachment01:10 The COST of anxious attachment you DON'T realise..07:43 The everyday impact of Anxious Attachment10:43 REAL life consequences that tear me up every time14:46 What anxious attachment STEALS forever from you15:35 What it takes to become secure18:03 So is it too late be become securely attached?   FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.   ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

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102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure

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🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)     FREE 3min...

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